iJenny
06-24-2008, 11:52 AM
My six-year-old son plays baseball every Tues. and Thurs. morning. Here is just a taste of how my day went today at the baseball field. (this is cut-and-pasted from my myspace blog)
Open Letters: Baseball Edition
Dear Fellow Baseball Mom,
While I understand that you think little Johnny is a baseball prodigy, he does not, in fact, have the right to boss his teammates around and tell them they "suck" for not getting a grand slam (they're six years old for heaven's sake!). If you continue to sit 20 yards away under your ugly sun hat with pink bejeweled cellphone pasted to the side of your fake-baked face ignoring your son's obnoxious attitude, I will be forced to take matters into my own hands. I'm not above kicking a first-grader.
Yours,
The mom shooting you dirty looks
Dear Uninterested Businessman Father,
While I understand that you can't possibly pay attention to your son's baseball game because you have important corporate business to attend to, that does not, in fact, give you the right to play with your palm pilot for 45 minutes only to glance up in time to holler and your son for not hitting the ball. If you continue to berate your son in front of me while wearing a business suit (its 90* out here for heaven's sake!) I will be forced to take matters into my own hands. I'm not above crotch-kicking a grown man.
Yours,
The mom shooting you dirty looks
Dear Big Kid on the Playground,
While I understand that your idea of a fun summer day doesn't include watching your little brother play baseball for 90 minutes, that does not, in fact, give you the right to throw sand at my toddler in the sandbox (he's 2 for heaven's sake! and you're nine!). If you continue to pester my little boy and throw sand in his general direction, I will be forced to take matters into my own hands. And when you mess with my kid, well lets just say that I'm not above much.
Yours,
The mom shooting you dirty looks
Open Letters: Baseball Edition
Dear Fellow Baseball Mom,
While I understand that you think little Johnny is a baseball prodigy, he does not, in fact, have the right to boss his teammates around and tell them they "suck" for not getting a grand slam (they're six years old for heaven's sake!). If you continue to sit 20 yards away under your ugly sun hat with pink bejeweled cellphone pasted to the side of your fake-baked face ignoring your son's obnoxious attitude, I will be forced to take matters into my own hands. I'm not above kicking a first-grader.
Yours,
The mom shooting you dirty looks
Dear Uninterested Businessman Father,
While I understand that you can't possibly pay attention to your son's baseball game because you have important corporate business to attend to, that does not, in fact, give you the right to play with your palm pilot for 45 minutes only to glance up in time to holler and your son for not hitting the ball. If you continue to berate your son in front of me while wearing a business suit (its 90* out here for heaven's sake!) I will be forced to take matters into my own hands. I'm not above crotch-kicking a grown man.
Yours,
The mom shooting you dirty looks
Dear Big Kid on the Playground,
While I understand that your idea of a fun summer day doesn't include watching your little brother play baseball for 90 minutes, that does not, in fact, give you the right to throw sand at my toddler in the sandbox (he's 2 for heaven's sake! and you're nine!). If you continue to pester my little boy and throw sand in his general direction, I will be forced to take matters into my own hands. And when you mess with my kid, well lets just say that I'm not above much.
Yours,
The mom shooting you dirty looks