Feeling down

N

newfiemountiewife

New member
Last week, Tony and I went out for the weekend to celebrate our anniversary, and the kids stayed at his parents. Benjamin didn't want to come home, he wanted to stay for a bit....but he is STILL out there! He's been there over a week now.

It's a 3 1/2 hour drive away, and he says when I talk to him, that he just doesn't want to come home. I know his nanny lets him stay up really late, something I do, but only occasionally. They are great, I know he's being treated wonderfully, and they love having him there. I must admit it's a little easier with only two kids, that go to bed early, Tony and I end up with one kid each LOL. But I do miss him, it's just not the same going to the beach, playground, etc, without him, kwim? I know he's getting big (he'll be 8 in Sept) and wants to do different things than the girls want. He gets ALL of his grandparent's attention when he's out there, obviously with 3 kids, he can't get 100 percent of our attention when he's home with us.

He loves it there, and my birthday is this weekend, so I'm hoping he'll want to come home for that.

Sniff sniff...how did it get so my baby boy get so big that he didn't need me or miss me? :crying:
 
Awe I'm sorry! I am sure he misses you he is prolly just having a blast....you know how kids are....they never want to leave when they are having so much fun! I am sure he wil come home for your birthday!!
 
Ohhh Jamie!
I can so feel your pain X's 100 I bet.
My 14 year old came home from his 8 week visit with his dad and said he wanted to go lilve with him full time-My heart nearly broke and I admit freely to almost having a nervous breakdown over the entire situation.
My ex husband is nowhere even close to equiped to deal with having Connor full time and in my opinion instead of pumping him up about moving in with him, should have delt with the reality of the situation and told Connor the truth-he is not able to take care of him full time.
Connor is still a bit angry with me about the denial and my ex won't speak to me at all(big loss,LOL).

I'm sure that Benjamin will want to come home to his mommy soon! Enjoy your time and try not to let it get you down my friend!

newfiemountiewife said:
Last week, Tony and I went out for the weekend to celebrate our anniversary, and the kids stayed at his parents. Benjamin didn't want to come home, he wanted to stay for a bit....but he is STILL out there! He's been there over a week now.

It's a 3 1/2 hour drive away, and he says when I talk to him, that he just doesn't want to come home. I know his nanny lets him stay up really late, something I do, but only occasionally. They are great, I know he's being treated wonderfully, and they love having him there. I must admit it's a little easier with only two kids, that go to bed early, Tony and I end up with one kid each LOL. But I do miss him, it's just not the same going to the beach, playground, etc, without him, kwim? I know he's getting big (he'll be 8 in Sept) and wants to do different things than the girls want. He gets ALL of his grandparent's attention when he's out there, obviously with 3 kids, he can't get 100 percent of our attention when he's home with us.

He loves it there, and my birthday is this weekend, so I'm hoping he'll want to come home for that.

Sniff sniff...how did it get so my baby boy get so big that he didn't need me or miss me? :crying:
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Instead of looking at it from a negative perspective that he doesn't need you or miss you. Think about it this way...he is so loved and secure and happy that he KNOWS you love him and he can be away from you and blossom because of the foundation you have given him in life! It is so important to let our kids be individuals and experience the relationships with other family members so they have memories like that!!

Hang in there mama, he will be home before you know it!!
 
Oh Shannon, that sucks! I'm sure Connor just thought he would have a good ole time with dad, no rules, etc. And I'm sure your ex was the same thing, just have a good time, no discipline. I'd have died if my kids did that. Sorry that happened ((hugs))
 
Awww, poor Jamie. The one time ever Jack didn't want to come home with me from school I cried. Joel said l was a psychopath and he hoped Jack didn't want to come home with me the next day, either. I have what you might call an unsupportive spouse, lol. Fortunately, Jack realized home and mommy are good...clearly I will not handle this separation thing very well.
 
joelsgirl said:
Awww, poor Jamie. The one time ever Jack didn't want to come home with me from school I cried. Joel said l was a psychopath and he hoped Jack didn't want to come home with me the next day, either. I have what you might call an unsupportive spouse, lol. Fortunately, Jack realized home and mommy are good...clearly I will not handle this separation thing very well.
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LMBO-I'm gonna come to Malaysia and kick Joel in the nuts for the little comment...You can turn your back and I'll run real fast...
 
(((Jamie))) hugs girl...I'm sure it's tough being the only boy with 3 kids (ask my son he's the only boy with 5 haha) and he's getting to do boy things and have all the attn there..pretty sure you hit the nail on the head when you said that.

Hopefully the inlaws know it's your bday this weekend and will surprise you with your son and something else sweet :)

Enjoy the alone time with your girls and do lots of girly things!
 
Hopefully your husband will talk Benjamin into coming back for your birthday - if he's a good spouse he will. Not having kids, I can't imagine what you're going through, but I believe that there will be something that will go wrong at his grandparents (even if it's a small thing like his sandwiches not made right) and all of a sudden he will realize just how much things are good at home and he'll want to be back....
 
joelsgirl said:
Awww, poor Jamie. The one time ever Jack didn't want to come home with me from school I cried. Joel said l was a psychopath and he hoped Jack didn't want to come home with me the next day, either. I have what you might call an unsupportive spouse, lol. Fortunately, Jack realized home and mommy are good...clearly I will not handle this separation thing very well.
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I can't type the words I'm thinking right now, or I'll get my post removed. What a twit! :cursing:

I think Tony is supportive, because he is now in a house with ALL girls, and he misses Benjamin too. I think we are lame. LOL
 
Jamie - I know how you feel. Kylie (she's 8) is in Colorado for a week with her Granny Anne and would stay there forever if she could...does not seem to miss us that much:(. Fortunately, we've got a plane ticket so she's coming home on Thursday!

Hope you feel better!
 
aww..hugs..my little hunter girl packed up her 15 outfits with matching flip flops and bows herself and said that she wasn't coming back from my aunt's house for a week...i already miss her...yes, she is 6 and has a total mind of her own..i talked to her last night on the phone and kevin took the phone away from me quickly before i slobbered and bawled all over it...it is however giving me some much needed bonding time with my little boy! hugs!
 
{{{HUGS}}} Jamie and Shan!!! Derrick did this to me with my mom but he was only about 2-1/2 - 3. She would pick him up from pre-school on Friday at noon and I was lucky if he didn't throw a fit when I picked him up on Sunday night.... Now he's 6 and hardly ever wants to stay there though thanks to my sister telling him there's a ghost in my parent's house... :mad:

Kellie - I'm comin' with Shan!!!
 
Awwww Jamie, I'm sorry it's getting you down. Maybe look at it like having more time to devote to the other two while he is away? Something special for them? I bet he'll be home for your birthday :)
 
Oh I so know how you feel. My mom lives practically right next door and my boys always want to be there and when I try to bring them home they get so mad and say they want to stay there. :( It's sad!

I do hope your hubby will get him to come home for your bday! {{hugs}}
 
I can totally relate to you sweetie. My baby boy is 15 and now is in the stage where it is "nerdy" to hang out with your mama.
 
I'm sorry Jamie, I really hope he gets back for your B-Day. My kids never want to leave wherever they are either, it makes me sad but I totally understand them wanting to get away for a bit too!!!!! Having a almost 15 yr. old, an 11 year old and the twins that are 5 1/2 it is a wide span to have them all get along so it is a good thing too.
 
alansrock said:
Instead of looking at it from a negative perspective that he doesn't need you or miss you. Think about it this way...he is so loved and secure and happy that he KNOWS you love him and he can be away from you and blossom because of the foundation you have given him in life! It is so important to let our kids be individuals and experience the relationships with other family members so they have memories like that!!

Hang in there mama, he will be home before you know it!!
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exactly what I was thinking!

I hope he is home for your birthday, Jamie!
 
Thanks guys, I am just having a lame-mom moment over here. Thanks for the reassurance. I understand he's doing exactly what he wants to at his GPs, but here, he just can't sometimes. I know he has a fun day planned for tomorrow.

He would stay all summer, I think Tony's parents really like having him around, they are still relatively young, in good health and retired, so I think they are bored sometimes being there alone, and having kids around is good for them. They have 9 grandkids that come and go LOL
 
*hugs* I know the feeling! The kids went camping with the inlaws over the weekend and we went to pick them up last night. Jayden wouldn't give me a hug & he didn't want to come home. *cry* I was so hurt. We finally got him to come home, but they were both cranky because inlaws had them up past 10 every night and up early in the morning. We talked when we got home and he told me that he loved me and it made me feel better. I know he loves it so much because at grandma's its like the rules go out the window & he is spoiled rotten with whatever he wants.
 
alansrock said:
Instead of looking at it from a negative perspective that he doesn't need you or miss you. Think about it this way...he is so loved and secure and happy that he KNOWS you love him and he can be away from you and blossom because of the foundation you have given him in life! It is so important to let our kids be individuals and experience the relationships with other family members so they have memories like that!!
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I think this is a perfect way of looking at it!

If it's any consolation, they reach an age where it's not that exciting any more to come hang out with us aunties (in my case), grandparents, etc. and I get pretty sad as each of my nieces and nephews reach that age.

Shannon, I'm so sorry you're going through this with Connor. It must hurt like crazy. He doesn't know what he's saying. He probably had little to no rules and everything was about him. It's easy to make it a fun party on a temporary basis when you don't have to deal with all the realities of actually raising him to be a responsible, decent person. There will come a day when he'll understand, and probably be very thankful you said no. But for now you're stuck being the bad guy and that really sucks for you. One day he'll understand that being a truly loving and caring parent means having the courage to be that bad guy.
 
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