Moms of 2 or more, help!!

[Voodoo_Bryn]

How do you guys do it?? I can't keep up!! My toddler will get into something, I'll go clean it up and while I'm doing that, he's getting into something else!! And everytime I have to feed the n00b, my toddler suddenly decides he needs to do something absolutely terrible or he needs to be in my lap right then and there!! I feel like they're both hungry at the same time and when one is napping, the other starts crying, and I feel like my toddler does it on purpose!! Our apartment since we moved up here is so tiny, it's ridiculous. (It was supposed to be a temporary situation and we got roped into a year lease, now we're here until at least March!)

:blink:

I feel like I'm doing everything wrong and I'm exhausted. And what's worse, DH comes home and comes down on me because Hurricane Yorick has torn the house apart and I can't seem to keep up to keep it clean.

[Paula]

BTDT sweetie!! My oldest two were 13 months apart and middle and youngest were two years apart. I don't know how I survived it to be honest. LOL

[crystalbella77]

Well, I have absolutely no advice. I have a 4 year old, a 2 year old and a 3 month old. Nothing is done and I never shower, lmbo! when the babies are still really little I have to get the older ones to understant they will have to wait. there's not much else you can do, and the newborn won't understand if he/she has to wait....it's hard! I still haven't figured out how to get everything done! maybe someone else will have some advice!

{{hugs}} though!!

[kscwgirl]

You can try what I do, and that's telling DH that the house will be clean when the kids are in college. ((((hugs))))

[LenaGardner]

I think Yorick and Phin are near Naomi and Parker's age. It's rough, it just is. I am lucky that Parker is a good sleeper so I can get things done while he's sleeping...but when he is awake, he HAS to be in my arms...he doesn't "do" swings, bouncies, etc.

i recommend a sling. And a good one. My hotslings sling isn't cutting it with Parker the way it did with Naomi so I'm getting a Mei Tei wrap as soon as David gets paid. having him on my back will allow dishes and laundry easier than slinging him in front.

My recommendation is to just BE SURE to take 1/2 hour for yourself every day. A bath, exercise, whatever...without any children attached to you. It's utterly necessary for your sanity. And your house can be clean later, when your kids are grown.

When I have a DH in the house I just let it be messy all day and don't waste any energy picking it up until 20 minutes before he's due home ;)

[joelsgirl]

Big hugs, girl! It will get better, I promise!

Someone suggested this to me, and it worked great with my guys. I would have my 3 year old pick out a story for me to read to him while I nursed the baby. That way he was still getting attention, I could keep my eye on him AND feed the baby, all at the same time.

Do you wear your baby? I really like being able to get stuff done while I'm waering Max, even now while he's ten months old.

[meems]

Big hugs, girl! It will get better, I promise!

Someone suggested this to me, and it worked great with my guys. I would have my 3 year old pick out a story for me to read to him while I nursed the baby. That way he was still getting attention, I could keep my eye on him AND feed the baby, all at the same time.
I think I did this too. that time period is a bit of a blur. I vaguely recall putting Henry to work by asking him to fetch diapers and such for me. At that age, he loved feeling helpful.

another vote for babywearing!

I also recall counting the hours til DH would get home from work.

Oh and I'm pretty sure Henry's video/TV watching increased a bit.

[rach3975]

{{{hugs}}} It will get easier! Your NB is so tiny--I know that at that age, nursing, holding, and getting baby to sleep were pretty much a full time job with mine, never mind taking care of a toddler at the same time. The first few months of having 2 were overwhelming, and I remember feeling like I was constantly shortchanging both of them.

Hmm...my immediate advice is to have a few snacks prepared for the toddler in the fridge ahead of time and take one out any time you start feeding the baby. Either that or make a basket of fun toys, books, etc (maybe with some crackers or snacks, too) that you only take out when you're busy with the baby. Change them often to keep him occupied.

I second Lena's sling advice. For at least the first year of DS2's life, a pouch and Mei Tai were absolute life savers for me. Lots of people swear by stretchy wraps for newborns, too. You can get lots of info about all of them at www.thebabywearer.com. By the time DS2 was about 3 months old I'd mastered nursing in the MT, which left me free to follow or play with DS1 when needed.

Let the house go! I don't have any great advice for getting your DH on board with that, but he needs to ignore the mess for a while. If it bothers him that much, he can watch the kids for 30 minutes sometime after getting home so that you can straighten it and have a bit of a break from the kids at the same time.

[mrs_jb]

The other ladies have give you some great advice that I totally agree with!

I've also heard of mom's that will have a special basket of toys that they only let their toddler play with while they are feeding/nursing the baby. This has helped to keep them interested and content.

I'm sorry I'm not more help, my kids are 3.5 yrs apart, so the situation was a bit different because even though they didn't like it, the kids knew that sometimes they had to wait.

[my3hens]

Oh honey big hugs, I just tell myself this too shall pass LOL! I havent gotten the hang of it myself. We had three babies in four years, the house is never clean like I would like it. My rugs are screaming to be shampood, hell my hair is screaming to be shampood LOL But I think that in the long run you will eventually have time for yourself and then you wont know what to do lmao. Whenever I get a break (very rarely) im bored to tears. You just kinda adapt! I totally agree on baby wearing. I still use the sling for Noah!! Hugs again sweety!!

[Voodoo_Bryn]

Thanks guys, honestly. I wear Phin, unfortunately, I left my moby wrap in the car when DH went to work today, so I was stuck without it.

Yorick is so mean to Phin!! I don't get the hitting at all! I'm just dying for dh to get home so I can pick up the living room... and the hall... and the kitchen... the bathroom... no wonder I don't go to bed til 3am every night!!

[cheltzey]

I'm sure Yorick is acting out because of all the changes with Phin. Since he was a preemie, he's required so much of your attention, and I'm sure he's very jealous. It will pass, and sooner than you might think. Katie and Paul are 13 months apart, and the first 5 months were pretty insane, but now they're wonderful together. I think you just need to realize that you CANNOT do everything you used to do with one, and that everyone will survive. Try thinking of ways to cut down time spent on the less important things. For example, you might want to do some meals at My Girlfriend's Kitchen (or the equivalent). Also, if it's feasible, maybe have a friend or family member watch Yorick one day a week for a few hours so you can get something done without both of them. Trying to spend alone time with just Yorick (maybe while Phin is napping) could really help. And just remember that this too shall pass--and maybe even more quickly than you would like.

[FlirtatiousBrat]

I had to put a baby gate up to keep Ryleigh (2) int he same room as me and Teaghan

the meanness will pass..Ryleigh tried to hit and be mean to Teaghan too but she adores her now lol it's her baby she says...she was the baby for almost 2 years and it was a hard adjustment for her

(((Hugs))) It'll get better....I'm glad you have a sling..those help big time! (so does having a 12yr old to help lol but that's beside the point)

[lizzyfizzy]

bryn! HUGS!! it is so hard...it is a vague memory for me, but i do remember! it will get easier. i'm trying to think of things to keep yorick busy so you can have some peace of mind. man...i think he is just still soooo small. it will get better, hang in there. wish i was more help! :blink:

[junebug]

I know how you feel! I have a 5 1/2 year old, a 2 1/2 year old and a 1 1/2 year old. My house is NEVER clean for very long, even if i do get around to trying, lol. It bothers me, but oh well. It bothters his MIL and him even more. I once got a huge lecture from my MIL cause i don't keep up on the housework like she thinks i should. I made me try a little harder (cause i admit i am a slacker lol) but my house will never be as spotless as hers is. I don't want to spend every waking hour cleaning and picking up after my kids. And i 'm sure you don't either. Once they are older it'll be easier. I hope.

[schock77]

My kids ate just over 2 years apart and when they were little I thought "What did I do to myself?" But it does get better and now they keep each other company.

Definitely look into a sling or Bjorn. I had both and would not have gotten ANYTHING done without it. As Yorick gets used to Phin, life will get easier- just hang in there!

[rochelle789]

I have 2 kids, but I honestly don't know who others do it either. I had my kids 4 years apart (they're 4.5 and 6mo right now), and it's perfect!

When you're busy with the baby, can you make sure your toddler has some fun new activitiy to keep him busy? When my daughter was 2 and I had to make dinner, I'd take out a plastic bowl and some dried noodles and she'd just sit on the kitchen floor and play with the noodles in the bowl. She loved it, and I got dinner done. I don't know if your little one is too little to play with something like that, but it gives you an idea at least.

Hopefully as you setting into a routine things will get better! Hugs!

[nun69]

I'm not sure I how I am STILL surviving I have 4 but their age ranges are pretty drastic...DD 15, DS 7, DD 2 1/2 and DS 1...but the 2 little ones drive me INSANE!!! Abby is ALWAYS into something.....her nicknmae is "bad girl" :p ...one of my lifesavers so far has actually been a gate in the hallway to keep Abby out of the bathroom and the older 2 kids room this way if they were in their room, no worries, and the only other 2 places they could be was the living room or kitchen and I can see them from either room...I think if you can do the sling thing that is great, I just was never for "wearing' my kids and both of my 2 little ones were really good if you put them down on a blanket...house clening, what's that?:p my house is NEVER clean!!! and I figure, when I get to it, I get to it...and if I don't, I don't...and I TOTALLY agree with Lena, you definetely need at least 30 minutes a day to yourself if all you do is lock yourself in the bedroom and read or just vegitate...it will get better...hang in there!

[Heather Roselli]

(((Hugs))) I know that feeling all too well! My oldest was not quite 3 when I had TWINS. Try nursing them, holding them and making the oldest feel happy too! It is all a blur to me now, not sure what I did really, but I almost didn't survive! LOL I know Liam's TV watching really started at that point and he just had to learn to wait his turn as hard as that was. I think wearing the baby is great! I often wore one baby and then I could at least pick the other one up or tend to Liam. It is just really hard at this age, but you will survive and so will the kids! Just let the house go - if DH doesn't like it, he can clean it up after he gets home! My twins are now almost 4 and I so wish I could hold them the way I could when they were little! This time will pass much too quickly! (((hugs))) and hang in there!

[Jenn Barrette]

I am in the same boat right now, Ava will be 2 next month, and Lilly is only a week old. My parents are visiting and helping out right now, so starting next week I will be on my own. DH is very helpful, he does the laundry at night, and cleans up the kitchen. I don't even know how I will get supper cooked everyday...I am thinking we will be eatting a lot of easy to prepare frozen foods for a little while.