Am I doing the right thing?

R

rachal73

New member
I know you guys don't know me at all. I've been a member of Sweet Shoppe for some time, but I'm more of a behind the scenes person.

This tuesday just gone, I picked up my daughter from Child Care, they informed she had been crying for an hour (yes they didn't ring me, I'm still trying to figure out why). Within 3 minutes of driving home, I realised she was hot, very very hot, and she all of a sudden started screaming she was in pain.

I took her straight to emergency, where after 6 hours of waiting, they decided she was just a little unwell, and sent her home. The next day, she was so worse, and I took her straight to the doctors where they discovered she had a kidney infection. She had blood in her pee, very very sick.

Needless to say, I phoned my boss to tell them I wouldn't be in thursday, and this is what she said "Well we need you back, can't someone else look after your daughter?"

To cut an already long story short, I'm going to resign. I feel that they obviously need someone who can put their job first and foremost and as a single mother, I'm the only one that Taylor (my dd) has got.

And just some background, I'm talking about a lady who just had a baby, leaves it with her mother in law or a nanny, and the same lady who when I asked if I could take an hour off to enrol my daughter in school for next year, told me no, that they can fax the forms.

So am I doing the right thing? The ONLY negative I can find with resigning is that for awhile I won't have money to indulge my passion / addiction for sweet shoppe stuff. What would you do if you're boss made you feel guilty for having a sick child?
 
Well-The mom in me wants to say YES! You are doing the right thing...
BUT
I was a single mom for 8 years...and that part of me says...maybe you could find a new job and then resign...that way you wouldn't have to worry about money...
That is scary about your wee one...I hope she is better soon!
 
first, i'd punch her in the face. then after a long night in jail i'd key her car. jk! :p you def did the right thing...any place like that is the wrong place for a person with a family. FAMILY first! hope your lil girlie feels better soon and glad you stopped in to say hi. don't be a stranger! :)
 
I personally don't have children myself, but I feel like as a mother you need to work somewhere that is way more family oriented and allows moms to do what they need to do when their children get sick. I know some companies believe that you're loyalty should be to them first, but in bigger companies, alot depends on the boss you have. Luckily mine allows me an hour here and there for me to help take care of business for my mom in a nursing home. That's what you need to seek out, is a mom-friendly environment. Hope all is well now
 
Thanks Shannon, I know you're right, but I just feel the more I give them the more they want. I'm not worried about finding another job, I'm also in the process of starting my own business. The thing is that I love this job, it's my dream but I can't stand the crap that goes with it. I'm going to think over it some more on the weekend, I just need some thoughts and sense from others. Friends and family are a little emotionally close to home, so of course they told me to go for it, but I'm trying to be a little more practical, just as you suggested.
 
No job advice here - just wanted to tell you that I hope your Taylor feels better soon! (from a Mom of a Taylor also!!!)
 
I'd probably find another job first as well. But I completely understand why you're wanting to move on. I hope you can find a position that allows you to keep your priorities and I hope your DD is feeling better soon!
 
First of all, I'm so sorry! Your poor daughter... I hope she is better soon! Must be horrible for both of you :(

Secondly, I would want to quit right there on the spot! I'm pretty emotional so I probably would! But, I think the other ladies are right and finding another job first is a good idea.

Good luck with everything and I'm so sorry.
 
I should tell you all that Taylor is fine, 2.6kilos lighter, but doing really well. BUT, I never ever want to see my daughter in pain again, talk about a knife through the heart...
 
I would definitely wait a few days before quitting. That way you can make sure you're making a rational decision and not an emotional one. Taking care of your little one comes first, and part of that is providing for her financially. So if after a few days you still feel this way, it's probably a good decision. If not, then maybe it's time to have a serious talk with your boss. Does your company have an HR department? It might be good idea to get them involved as well.
 
Poor little one! I hope she feels better soon.

As for the job, I think it's time to move on. The work may be your dream, but your boss's expectation that work should always come before family is creating a bad work environment and tension for you. Personally I'd follow the more practical course of getting my business off the ground or finding another job before leaving, but my days there would definitely be numbered.
 
Yep - Id be counting down the days - the last thing you need from an employer is a guilt trip!!
The sound advice here though is to take it in your own time and dont leave yourself in a situation that will make you worse off on principal. Maybe there is another more agreeable dream job just waiting for you to walk in the door and then you can stick it to your current boss.
Of course, Lizzy's options are also highly desirable you might consider adopting those after you find a better place to work!!
Glad to hear your DD has recovered - that would have been so scary for you!
 
Just a quick question...do you live/work in the US? If you do this should be covered by the family medical leave act. Might wanna look into that. I understand where your boss is coming from that she needs people who are gonna be at work but I also totally understand where you are coming from because your child obviously comes first. If it was me I guess I would probably deal with it til I could find someplace else to work unless of course you have some savings and can afford to be out of work for awhile. I know around here my husband has been looking for work and nobody in his field is hiring(he is an automotive body tech-meaning he fixes wrecked cars LOL) There are accidents everyday but he cant find work and we hear from alot of our friends that work is scarce. So basically what Im saying is if you think you can find or know of a job right now in your field or soemthing you know how to do or can be trained for then tell her where to stick her job. Hope your little girl is doing better soon. Those infections are extremely painful. I had one once that I was hospitalized for almost a week and was on morphine for the pain it was so bad. I cant imagine what she is going through because what you described is exactly what happened to me. My husband, me and our kids were at the beach on the way home I told him to stop at a store because I needed to run in to use the bathroom. I was in the bathroom for thirty minutes on the floor doubled over in pain because I could not move. He finally came in and got me and took me to the hospital and I was admitted that day. I didnt get out til the following weekend!!
 
Last edited:
rachal73 said:
This tuesday just gone, I picked up my daughter from Child Care, they informed she had been crying for an hour (yes they didn't ring me, I'm still trying to figure out why).
Click to expand...

OMGoodness, I'm glad to hear that your DD is feeling better!

In addition to dealing with the job issues, I'd also be going in and having a serious conversation with the child care people. Your DD is crying for an hour, really hot, and they don't call you? And it turns out she has a kidney infection? Heads would be rolling if it were me. Child CARE. I expect you to take care of my child and call me if there is a problem. Sheesh.

Good luck as you deal with all of this.
 
I would have to agree with the girls on this one. I would def take care of your daughter first and foremost and I think I would be having a little sit down with my boss to discuss things. And if this is how things are always going to be with this job, I would definitely be seeking other employment. I understand that employers need people to work, but I think they can cross the line with their expectations sometimes. I am definitely one of those family first people and they can kiss my patooty if they don't like it.

I too would be talking with the daycare people too. They should have noticed something was wrong and called you immediately if she had been crying for that amount of time and hot like that.
 
I would definitely resign but only after I found another job that was more understanding about family issues. Hope your little girl feels better soon and good luck.
 
I was thinking what Lizzy said first.

But then the practical side of me kicked in and said to find something else first. I also would be having a frank discussion with the daycare as well. They should not have let that slide without calling you.

I hope she feels better soon, how stressful!
 
Oh, I'm so sorry they put you in that situation!! I'm a single mom too and I would be furious if my boss ever said that to me. Yeah, I would probably quit but I'd find a new job first. If you can survive without doing that first then thats awesome. Happy employees make for a successful workplace- I'm surprised your boss hasn't realized that- guess its a lesson she needs to learn.
 
Well, the plus side is that if you quit your job, you'll have more time to spend hanging out in the forums getting to know all of us better. And then you'll have time to actually make some layouts with the stuff you're hoarding. By the time you've used all that up, you'll probably have found a new job and can go back to shopping. :)

Hope your little one gets well soon.
 
I'm a practical one too, so I would find a new job first also. Not only because I would want the financial security, but also because, honestly, I think a new employer is less likely to want to hire someone who just quit and walked out on their old job. Even if it's justified, they'd be afraid you might do it to them.
 
Hugs honey im so sorry that your job is being so insensitive and I can not believe the day care would let your kid cry for an hour, wth is that!! I think you are very right in wanting to quit! I hope that things get better soon and you find a much better job this time around!
 
Well, considering that I have quit a job for being told to choose between it and my very sick child, I would say that you have to do what is best for you and your family.
 
So am I doing the right thing? The ONLY negative I can find with resigning is that for awhile I won't have money to indulge my passion / addiction for sweet shoppe stuff. What would you do if you're boss made you feel guilty for having a sick child?[/QUOTE]

Yes you are doing the right thing and that woman should be reported to the Department of Labor and Industries. You have a right to collect unemployment too. Get a note from your doctor about your baby's condition and when you file for unemployment you give it to them. That way your boss can't make up some lie about you to stop you from getting unemployment.
 
You're all so awesome

I've pondered over every little thing that's been written, and what it boils down too is that she is my daughter, and I'm in love with her, truly ruly in love with her (no i'm not a freak honestly), and what it boils down to most of all is that I'm all she has, especially when she's sick.

So I've made my decision, MOnday I will resign, I will give them a months notice, and I will tell them the truth.

This decision was sort of made for me yesterday with a client in another state wondering if I would do his consulting, marketing and designing for him (he owns a diving company and wants me to design his brochures, invitations, etc) and I couldn't help but think that she was a gentle nudge in me doing what was right, and that's resigning from a job who makes me feel like I have to choose them over my child.

I'll let you all know how I go MOnday, if you're interested, and yes, you are so right, I will have more time to spend on the forums and submit my layouts and maybe earn me a few sweet rewards.

I so appreciate everyone's comments and thoughts, thank you so much, from my heart.

Alicia Keys is right..........we are superwomen!
 
I don't know how it works there, but in Canada, if you quit a job, you are not eligible for unemployment, so hopefully that will not be a factor for you.

Good luck!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Community platform by XenForo® © 2010-2026 XenForo Ltd.
Back
Top