I just got a call from.....

[junebug]

...a sheriff.:blink: Regarding my 5 year old who is right now at school. Apparently, they were concerned about a red mark on her cheek (which, i didn't notice she even had this morning.) and so they had her talk to the school counselor. According to the report the sherriff got, Chloe i guess had said that she was 'hit by her moms friend Tina who doesn't live with her".:blink: :blink: I don't even know anyone named freaking Tina!! I do know that sometimes Chloe has been playing with Emma and also referring to a 'Tina', like an imaginary friend i guess. So obviously i was immediately sort of defensive, saying i don't know anyone named Tina, and that we don't hit our kids like that. He replied "Oh, no, no, ma'am. no ones implying that you or your husband have hit her. I just needed to check up on the story" I told him about her 'imaginary friend' too. But I don't know why she would say that. unless they were putting words into her mouth, and with Chloe it wouldn't be hard. She's shy and unsure of herself around people she doesn't know. I understand that they have to check up on these things to be safe and to protect the child in case there is a case of abuse, but i swear we don't beat our kids!

But i'm still very nervous. and embarassed. i can't show my face there now, lol. i don't know anyone, being as this is my first kid in school. so in don't want to make a bad first impression and start rumors.

i've heard about people getting their kids taken away for stuff like this, even if it isn't true. now i'm afraid CPS will be checking in on us. :( The sherriff didnt say so, but my mind races in situation like this. i'm a pessimist.

[newfiemountiewife]

Holy crap!

That is my one fear about the kids, it's easy to "feed" them information and twist what they say.

I am SO sorry, I can only imagine how embarrassing that is. ((hugs))

[lizzyfizzy]

oh no, corey!!!! don't act all shy or embarassed to 'show your face'. you did nothing wrong...be confident in that! freakin tina!! LOL...sorry. that part cracked me up. :) ((HUGS!!)) it'll be fine!

[Mandy]

I really don't think you have anything to worry about. My mother had CPS called on her for beating me with a belt in 7th grade and leaving visible welts on my legs and I'm sure your DD's mark is a FAR CRY from that.
Nowadays it's a teachers responsibility to report any marks on a kid's body-and...if your DD said someone named "Tina" did this to her, I bet they were just calling to make sure you are aware that someone might have hit your daughter. I doubt they were in to blame you at all.
A few years ago my DD fell off a bike while racing another kid and smashed her kneecap. It was a big ordeal with surgery and everything. Three months after her leg had completely healed and the cast had been removed, she was sleeping on her brother's top bunk bed, fell off and broke BOTH WRISTS when she landed on the floor.
I was SO SO scared CPS was going to come to my house after that, but they never did.
Try not to let your pessimistic side get the best of you and be glad that they were concerned enough about your daughters well-being to check and see what, if anything, had happened.

[BeccaBoo]

Oh Corey!! ((big hugs)) I am so sorry you had to deal with that! It is very easy to "feed" info to little ones. Even without trying to, it is all in the way you say things, or ask your questions. These days they check everything out, which is hard for those of us who don't abuse our kiddos. My oldest niece one time when she was little reached up and got my sister's coffee cup off the kitchen counter (just made VERY hot coffee) and when we took her to the ER they asked all sorts of questions about it, etc. And this was quite a few years ago. I am glad that they are on the look out and do try to do the right thing, however sometimes it can go on the wayside and innocent people suffer! I hope that you don't hear anymore from this girl!! Keep your chin up! You have done nothing wrong!

[kscwgirl]

(((((hugs)))))) Corey!! I'm sure they were just calling to check since your dd named someone else. It'll all be okay.

[Traci Reed]

*sigh* I honestly HATE CPS, it always seems like they go after the wrong people and let the kids who really ARE being abused slip through the cracks...it's one of my worst fears too..you're not even allowed to spank your child anymore...um I'm sorry but who are YOU to tell me how to discipline my children?? I got spanked with belts and no one called CPS..nowadays all a kid has to do is say the word spank and CPS is involved..it's disgusting.

/end rant

Anyway, you didn't do anything wrong, they probably WERE fishing for it and I'm sure everything will be fine..

[lizzyfizzy]

oh ya! mandy's story just reminded me that when my lil sister (now almost 20) was 6 years old she and my middle sister were pushing eachother off the top bunk for fun. :blink: anywho she broke her left wrist...then exactly 6 months later (to the day) i was swinging her on the neighbors swingset, swung her too high and instead of falling off she held on and broke her right wrist. :( same MD in the ER happened to be there when my mom and dad showed up with their little girl...lol! they totally questioned my little sister. my poor parents weren't even there. BOTH TIMES. CPS never showed up and all was fine.

[Nikki Epperson]

I'm sure it will blow over fairly quickly and don't be ashamed to show your face! :) Hugs girl!

[Paula]

Oh wow Corey!! My advice is do NOT own it. You know you didn't hurt your kid or allow anyone else to. You've told that to the sheriff and he will relay it to the school counselor. Don't worry about it anymore.

[ColleenSwerb]

*sigh* I honestly HATE CPS, it always seems like they go after the wrong people and let the kids who really ARE being abused slip through the cracks...it's one of my worst fears too..you're not even allowed to spank your child anymore...um I'm sorry but who are YOU to tell me how to discipline my children?? I got spanked with belts and no one called CPS..nowadays all a kid has to do is say the word spank and CPS is involved..it's disgusting.

/end rant

Anyway, you didn't do anything wrong, they probably WERE fishing for it and I'm sure everything will be fine..

OMG I totally agree. I don't want to get into it, but I know a little boy who should've been removed from parental custody and allowed to be adopted by friends. Instead when mom got out of jail he went back to her, until she f'd up again (for the 4th time). That sweet little boy is SO scared mentally and emotionally, it breaks my heart. :(

They always go after the wrong people. And the bad people get away with it for too long because now, society thinks EVERYONE should get a second (third fourth) change. :thumbdown:

Aaaaaaaaaaaaanyway, like everyone said Corey I'm SURE it'll work out ok. Big hugs!!!

[jessica31876]

Dont get me started on CPS. I was being abused as a kid by my stepbrother and stepfather. I went to my counseler and told her what was going on. She called what was then HRS (now they are DCF) and they came out and nothing happened. That is part of the reason I got married at 15 to get out of my house and away from all of that.

I wouldnt worry to much. She didnt say you did it so they would not investigate you. I also would have to question who was speaking to your daughter because unless it is someoen who is trained in asking the right questions it is really easy to lead a child to say things which are not true.

[Jennilyn]

My nephew told a fib to his principal saying my BIL held him up by his throat or something like that so CPS came to give my sister & BIL a talking to. Brody totally lied...still don't know why.

We had CPS come to our house last summer because Kristen had to go to the ER for stitches in the back of her head. It was her 3rd visit there (she has broken her left arm twice, once at 20 months and once at almost 4 years old). I was so scared they'd take her away even though none of the accidents were my fault. The woman didn't even finish her investigation...she just sent us a letter a few months later saying the file was closed.

((hugs)) Corey! I know how you feel and it isn't fun.

[breakingbrie]

Oh, I'm sorry that happened! You've probably got nothing to worry about tho, and it's a good thing they were checking up on it - just meaning they care about the kids and wanted to touch base with you on 'Tina' possibly hitting your child. ((hugs)) You didn't do anything tho, and I'm sure you're not the only parent who's gone thru that! Don't be embarassed to show your face!!!!

[lovely1m]

Oh, my, how scary! I can't image how scary that must have been for you.

[junebug]

thanks everyone. I do appreciate that they are on the lookout for possible abuse situations. But this just kinda threw me for a loop. Here i was laying on the couch with Aidan, watching Backyardigans and trying to get him to sleep and the sheriff calls me, lol. i was shocked and defensive. but i do think that maybe the couselor somehow, whether intentionally or not, put words into her mouth. I know my daughter and it wouldn't be hard with her, lol. they said they'd probably send a note home with her about the whole thing. I debated on whether i should go up there and talk with them....

[lizzyfizzy]

I debated on whether i should go up there and talk with them....

not a bad idea! i would want to be as upfront and involved in a case like this. not desperate and over the top. just showing that your not ashamed and you want to be open and honest!

[breakingbrie]

I don't blame you at all for being shocked and defensive, that'd be my first reaction too.
Chloe was on amoxicillin for the first time a couple months ago, and one of the side effects was diaper rash, but they also listed a bad diaper rash in the allergic reactions, so I was a little nervous when she woke up with the worst rash I'd ever seen. I ended up taking her to dr. and this woman implied the diaper rash was because I don't keep her clean. Since we're potty training, I must not wipe her well enough and give her baths often enough. Puh-lease. I left pretty p.o.'d, but at least she game me some good cream for it(along with bathing instructions and a schedule of how often I should bathe her):blink: moron.

[deenasuprema]

Don't worry too much about it... they are just doing their job.

A couple years ago, my step son was here..him and my oldest son were playing around, and SS ended up with a black eye... No one thought anything about it, thought for sure his mom would be upset, but she was not... Come Monday, DCFS was calling, and visiting his mom because he had the black eye LOL... The did their quick investigation, which did not even include calling us, where it happened at!

They just had to look into it, because legally they are under obligation to report things of that nature.

[cheltzey]

Don't even get me started on this...it gets me so angry. :cursing:

I have so many stories to tell about this, that I don't even know where to begin. My uncle Steve is the kindest, most generous person I've ever met. He's a doctor and single, but he's adopted 3 children who were in very bad situations. His youngest daughter, Melanie, was 5 and had the most beautiful, long hair. She was learning how to braid and was practicing on her own hair. She did the braid so tightly that she wasn't able to get it out herself, but instead of finding someone to undo it for her, she found a pair of scissors and cut it off right at the scalp, just above her bangs. Steve took them out for dinner to McDonald's that night, and as they were waiting in line, he looked down and saw a huge bald spot right on top of Melanie's head. He asked her what had happened, and Melanie started bawling. Steve was angry, but didn't shout, curse, raise his voice, or anything. He just told the kids not to talk to him while they ate dinner so that he could calm down and not lose his temper. So obviously it was an awkward meal, with Melanie crying, the two boys not knowing what to do, and Steve stonily reading his newspaper. They went home, and 5 minutes later a police officer rang the doorbell. Apparently an off-duty officer was at McDonald's, noticed the family's interactions (but didn't hear ANYTHING that went on) and reported Steve to DCFS. Without knowing anything about the situation. The officer that came to the door understood what had happened when Steve showed him the braid Melanie had thrown in the trash can, and he apologized profusely, but because someone (without any evidence of wrong-doing) had reported him, the case was required by New Jersey law to stay open for THREE years. What a terrible system.

So in other words, I'm sorry you had to go through that. It's a humiliating feeling, but feel good in knowing that you did absolutely nothing wrong.

[HeatherStokes]

OH MY GOODNESS...I can't imagine how awkword (sp?) that was for you. I would go up to the school and talk to them and have a look at your daughter's face too. Maybe someone at school hit her.

[Amy Carey]

It happened to me too. When my oldest was in Middle School, my nephew gave him a comb that flipped out like a switch blade. but it was a COMB. well some girl saw Josh playing with it at school, they suspended him for having a "fascsimile of a weapon" at school and lo and behold, less than a week later there is a sherriff AND a CPS agent at my door..they came on a SUNDAY evening of all things? Thank GOD the house was clean and nothing came of it. On one hand it's good that they check into everything but sometimes it's bad because the innocent people get all wrapped up in it. :(

[meganmecrazy]

Oh man, sorry that this happened to ya! From the stories that I've heard from MANY it DOES seem like CPS comes after the wrong people :( I wouldn't be afraid to go to the school and to show your face! You did nothing wrong...

<<<HUGS>>>

[junebug]

well, i went ahead and went up there right before they were to be released so i could just pick her up while i was there. I talked to the counselor (who by the way, looks so young, she must be fresh out of college!). i got a tad more detail. When they asked Chloe what happened to her cheek, she said someone hit her. when they asked who, she specifically said that "Tina came over to our house and hit her and my mommy asked her to leave". I was in even more shock! i kinda laughed and said again, that no one hit her and we don't know a Tina. I guess the red spot was there yesterday too but darker. I didn't pay any attention to it cause she used to have excema bad when she was younger. but i honestly didnt really notice it. i can barely see a faint rash spot on her right cheek. the nurse came in and asked some questions about allergies. she has none as far as i know. i did remember that last Wednesday she had 2 shots so it could be a delayed reaction to those. but we're not sure. she's not bothered by it. its fading. and yes, its their obligation to look into those things. so its all good now.

i feel better now! but boy are they into making something out of nothing! her cheek is barely red, lol.

oh, and i asked Chloe about it and she keeps saying that Tina did it and that she doesn't want to talk about it, lol. She has quite the imagination! maybe we have a ghost, lol?

[lizzyfizzy]

i'm glad you got over to the school. what a riot over a small red spot and an imaginary woman! :)

[mommy2aria06]

Oh wow! How scary!! I'm glad to hear you talked to them about it to ease your mind! Lots of :hugs:

[Chels85]

oh no! hopefully it will blow over soon

[joelsgirl]

If the sherrif called me everytime Jack had a mark on his face, he'd have my number on speed dial.

When I was teaching one of my students had this strange mark on her forehead...from where her mother hit her with the BUCKLE of her belt. I called CPS or whoever, and they did NOTHING. Sorry they're all up in your business.

[makabe]

I'm so sorry you had to go through that, Corey, but I'm glad you got it all figured out. I would have been freaking out, too!

Our son has Mongolian Spots on his back, which are not at all uncommon in Asian children. I was soooo upset when a nurse saw them in our pediatrician's office and went to find someone to look at them without telling us what she was looking at. If she'd asked us at all or even read his chart, where they are clearly documented, she would have seen they were not bruises. I know she, and the people at your school, are just doing their jobs, but it's really frightening to be on the receiving end of that speculation, even for a second.

(((HUGS)))

[Nonnie917]

*sigh* I honestly HATE CPS, it always seems like they go after the wrong people and let the kids who really ARE being abused slip through the cracks...it's one of my worst fears too..you're not even allowed to spank your child anymore...um I'm sorry but who are YOU to tell me how to discipline my children?? I got spanked with belts and no one called CPS..nowadays all a kid has to do is say the word spank and CPS is involved..it's disgusting.

/end rant

Anyway, you didn't do anything wrong, they probably WERE fishing for it and I'm sure everything will be fine..


You right about CPS. Here is something to think about. Have you ever noticed that the children who are removed from their homes on suspision of abuse are from families who have money. The abused poor kids are left in their abusive situations. That is because the State makes the parents pay for the foster care of their child while that child is in foster care until their investigation into the abuse alligations are done. That happens here a LOT in WA State.

I don't think that you have anything to worry about either. This is her first time at school and until the teachers get to know you, they are bound by law to report marks. I really believe that you are okay.