I can't take it. Seriously.

[Nikki Epperson]

My BIL moved in with us almost a month ago. Since then - he is constantly bit**ing at my youngest. I understand my youngest is sometimes a handful. He's the baby. And I'm not making excuses. I'm just being honest. Other people tell me all the time how well behaved our kids are - so idk.
If Colton sticks his tongue out - BIL tells him he'll cut it off.
He is constantly trying to get the boys in trouble by calling them on the smallest things.
He tells the boys in front of me - that he will tell me.
I finally told Colton just to stay away from Uncle Nick but OMG I shouldn't have to do that.

Background - this is the 3rd time he's lived with us in our 6 year marriage.
He's not working. Again.

[Traci Reed]

kick his ass out, in no way should he be treating your kids in a manner that you do not approve of and getting away with it.

I hate when relatives come live with you, it always sucks.

[psalm149]

kick his ass out, in no way should he be treating your kids in a manner that you do not approve of and getting away with it.

I hate when relatives come live with you, it always sucks.

Word.

[AnnieBananie]

Personally, I'd take him aside and say "Listen, we're family and I love you but I'm a mother first and, so help me, if I hear you threatening one of my children again, I will end you." No but seriously, will your DH say anything to him?

My brother does this kind of stuff and I just say "Steve, let me be the mean-momma, and you can be the cool uncle, k?" and he gets the hint.

[Nikki Epperson]

Seriously. I was bawling while cooking dinner.

If he would just get a freaking job - he wouldn't be here to get on my freaking nerves.

[AnnieBananie]

Seriously. I was bawling while cooking dinner.
((hugs))

[Nikki Epperson]

Personally, I'd take him aside and say "Listen, we're family and I love you but I'm a mother first and, so help me, if I hear you threatening one of my children again, I will end you." No but seriously, will your DH say anything to him?


Dusty has been working so much overtime trying to take care of all of us that I don't wanna bug him with it. I need to but I don't wanna stress him out any more than he already is, kwim?

[newfiemountiewife]

^^What Traci said^^

And *hugs* to you. I like my space, and if anyone had to come and live here, I don't think I could handle it. Relatives are fine for a week or less. I want to walk around in my undies if I feel like it, kwim?

[AnnieBananie]

Dusty has been working so much overtime trying to take care of all of us that I don't wanna bug him with it. I need to but I don't wanna stress him out any more than he already is, kwim?
Yep, I totally understand that.

[Nikki Epperson]

I want to walk around in my undies if I feel like it, kwim?

I know right. I have to search for shorts or jammie pants every morning - um, because I'm horrible at putting my clothes away. :blink:

But I can't walk around how I want to.

Stupid BIL!

[AnnieBananie]

LOL I just remembered the Grey's Anatomy episode when Christina was walking around the apartment naked (her's and her boyfriend's) in order to get rid of whoever was staying with them (O'Malley?). You could always do that ;) ;)

[Nikki Epperson]

He's probably like it. He is a little hard up if you know what I mean!

[AnnieBananie]

*shudder* Yeah, maybe not a good idea

[Jennifer]

:( Sorry Nikki.

[amystoffel]

He needs to get an earful from you. No one...no one...but you and your husband should be reprimanding your children. That is not only uncalled for...

the things you said he said are hurtful and mean and offensive/

kick his butt to the curb

[heatherdumas]

Aw, Nikki, you are breaking my friggin heart. Honestly. I hate it when people harp on kids. So, he's a miserable bastard. He wants to make everyone else miserable too! I'm with Traci, tell him to shut the hell up and leave your kids alone. But I am all about the tough love, not saying that you love him. I would be much less tolerant. But I have brought other peoples kids home in the middle of my kids birthday party because they can't be nice. Do you have a garage you could banish him to? A basement? A closet? A sister in law??? Where the heck is his mamma?


P.M.S I am feeling Rawr now

[Nikki Epperson]

ugh - family history would be a very lengthy story.

mom - not here.

sisters - won't let him stay.

step-father - just kicked him out ----- which is why he's with us.

[ColleenSwerb]

Nikki, I 890489403284903289320% feel your pain.
My future BIL has been living with us for 4 months now. With no end in sight.
Some weeks, I am at my wits end.

I completely understand not wanting to bug your hubby, cuz I held in how I was feeling with Jordan. But you really need to get it out and talk to hubby. Even if he doesn't say anything, it will make YOU feel better to get it out and make your feelings known.

One of you also really needs to talk to BIL. He should not be allowed to talk like that to your children.

[lovely1m]

Ugh, my good for nothing BIL lived with us for 6 weeks before I finally got sick of it and told dh it was time to get him out. I don't think I could have lasted that long if my son was born then.

[sammi]

Awwww Nikki....that really bites. Your a stronger person than I. I couldn't do it for a day. Seriously I dislike my Inlaws so much. ((Hugs)) here's hoping he gets a job and a life real soon!

[Nikki Epperson]

Thanks girls. I just needed to vent. Right before I posted, he told Colton he was going to tell me that Colton spit on his pillow. Hello???? I'm right freaking here.

[crecia27]

Sounds like HE is the child to me :thumbdown: I SO admire you for letting him move in again!

[kscwgirl]

Ugh. Hugs Nikki. I'd kick his ass out.

[ColleenSwerb]

Please talk to your hubby Nikki. It will really make you feel better to vent to HIM. And maybe he'll say something to his brother. Someone obviously needs to!

[Nikki Epperson]

He's home now. I'm going to let him eat and shower and then talk to him when we go to bed. He worked 13 1/2 hours today. I hate to dump it on him. :(

[Chels85]

Kick him to the curb!

[Nikki Epperson]

It just makes me ill. We told him before he moved in that it couldn't be like the last 2 times. He had to work. He had to help out.

He sleeps on the couch most of the day.

[ColleenSwerb]

UNACCEPTABLE NIKKI!!!

He HAS to work, and your hubby HAS to make that clear.
It sucks to talk to your hubby about it after such a long day, but honestly, there's never a good time to have a talk like that. You have to just do it. It took me breaking out into tears in the middle of a nothing conversation to get the ball rolling.

You can't put your own happiness on hold like that for a family member who is so totally ungrateful. :(

[Nikki Epperson]

I know. Dusty just told him last night -- You HAVE to get a job. You HAVE to. But today, he put in one app. ONE!!!

And he had a chance to work with Dusty and screwed that up too.

UGH. I'm so freaking frustrated.

I'm so glad I have you girls!

[ColleenSwerb]

I know babe. It sucks. I totally know where you're at.

[newfiemountiewife]

You see, if he's a grown man, he CAN get a job, and he CAN get a place of his own. Tough love is in order! Toss his ass out! My dad had this issue with his brother, and eventually he had to tell him to get out. It wasn't until he finally did that, and stopped bailing him out time and time again, that he smartened up and got a job/home.

[ColleenSwerb]

You see, if he's a grown man, he CAN get a job, and he CAN get a place of his own. Tough love is in order! Toss his ass out! My dad had this issue with his brother, and eventually he had to tell him to get out. It wasn't until he finally did that, and stopped bailing him out time and time again, that he smartened up and got a job/home.

Sing it sista!!!

Now if only I could Jordan to agree.....

[newfiemountiewife]

I believe my uncle may have lived in his car or something for a few days, but that would NOT be your problem Nikki. It's his problem his life is messed up, he doesn't need to mess up yours too. I know you don't want to bother your DH, but you're going to go insane if you don't.

[Nikki Epperson]

I think I am there already. :( I can't even escape to scrapping like I had been. My pages lately - suck. :(

[ColleenSwerb]

Can you get away with the kids for a weekend? visit your parents or inlaws? Just to get away for a few days?

[heatherdumas]

I like the idea of going away for the weekend, or planning it anyway. And when you tell DH your plan, he is sure to ask why. Then you can say that you and your son need a break from BIL snapping.

[jessica31876]

my sister is alot like that. my youngest especially she likes to harp on him. He tells her off himself though. (not being mean or mouthy just basically saying she is not his mom and that she doesnt have the right to talk to him the way she does) Im sorry you have to deal with it. I bite my tongue alot when it comes to family members. When it is in your house though you should not have to. Even though you said you do not want to you might need to talk to your husband about it

[DawnMarch]

that's ridiculous. This is your SON's home, not your BIL's home. Your son should be able to relax and enjoy being at home without someone threatening him all the time.

[deejval]

:( Awww Nikki -- that sucks!!
Since when did allowing him to stay with you
give him permission to become authority to your
children...... nothing I can't stand more than someone
else telling my kiddies what to do. :(

[Nikki Epperson]

Thanks so much girlies! I knew I could count on you all to help me work through this. :)

I'm going to do my dishes --- blah --- and then go to bed so I can try to talk to Dusty before he passes out. If not, I'll talk to him about it all tomorrow!

[lizzyfizzy]

nikki, do not stand for that crap. EVER. your home, your rules. if he doesn't like it, he can go...ummm...i don't know...get a job?!?!?! wtcrap!!! if you don't wanna tell him, i will. put him on the line. :p

[Paula]

Well, your children come before your BIL. I'd kick his butt to the curb.

[pbumbaca]

I am sorry you are dealing with this Nikki. I have to say that I'd definitely tell him that he's lucky you are letting him stay and to either shut his mouth or you'll shut it for him! I had to deal with this for a year when my mom was living with us, it drove me batty, she wasn't mean she just felt she had to repeat everything I said to my kids and that was bad enough but threatening to cut a tongue off, that is just not nice. I'd tell him I'll cut something of his off if he even says that again! Sorry! I hope you can get rid of him soon.

[Nikki Epperson]

Thanks so much girls! I absolutely love my home here and each and every one of you! It means so much to me that you took the time to send encouraging words to me.

:)

[ShortCake]

kick his ass out, in no way should he be treating your kids in a manner that you do not approve of and getting away with it.

I hate when relatives come live with you, it always sucks.


I agree 100%

[4noisyboys]

kick his ass out, in no way should he be treating your kids in a manner that you do not approve of and getting away with it.

I hate when relatives come live with you, it always sucks.

DITTO!!!!

I've been there...will NEVER do it again!!!

[pewtertm]

Sounds like the moocher needs to be kicked to the curb and told to grow up.

[Sarah8914]

Oh man, I feel so bad for you!! Good luck with that! Ugh!

[scrapperjade]

I haven't read all of the responses, but Nikki, you NEED to put your foot down about this! NOBODY but you and DH should be disciplining your kids (of course there are times that if you are not around and the kids do something really bad, I can understand a word of caution or mild discipline from an adult who is around - but who has PERMISSION to do so, but this doesn't sound like this is the case for you right now).

And you need to talk to DH. I know you don't want to burden him, but how would he feel if one day you just blew up, freaked out, and kicked his brother out, and all the while he thought that everything was fine? He's going to be hurt, confused, upset, most likely feeling all these things because he didn't know that there were problems you were covering up. Talk to him. It will make you feel better, and he will be able to help you deal with BIL.

[Jennilyn]

Relatives are fine for a week or less. I want to walk around in my undies if I feel like it, kwim?

Aww...so I can't come visit you for 2 weeks next summer? :(:p

Nikki, I feel for ya hun...I hope everything gets figured out soon.

[Stacey42]

The fact that no one else but you all will take him in, says to me that you are not the only one who feels this way about him.

Your DH isn't home to see him interact with the boys & he needs to know whats going on in the house. Don't view it as dumping on him or burdening him. You are just informing him what is going on during the day, just like you tell him what the rest of the family has been up to and letting him decide what he thinks about it.