LeeAndra
Sweet Shoppe SugarBabe
I have now twice seen The Popcorn Man: a middle-aged average-looking man who buys a bag of popcorn from the snack shop under the statehouse and carries it from there through the underground tunnel to the building where I work (or beyond, I suppose).
The Popcorn Man, however, is not your ordinary popcorn-carrying citizen. He loves the popcorn so much that he can't wait until he gets to his office to eat it, but how will he eat it if he has to walk at the same time? Here's his bright idea: he will carry the bag with both hands and then hold it high enough while he walks so he can lower his mouth down to it and eat directly out of the bag. This does not happen just once or twice during his walk; no, he happily eats out of the bag every 5 or 6 steps as he walks through the tunnel.
Is he not strong enough to hold the bag with just one hand? Has he not discovered that his hands can do two different things at one time? Is he really that hungry? Does the popcorn really get that cold that quickly? Does he has some kind of mental or emotional aversion to lukewarm popcorn? Has he not thought to eat enough from the top of the bag while he is still at the snack shop so that there is no possibility it will spill? Does he only have 10 minutes for lunch so he has to accomplish both the getting and eating of lunch at the same time? Has he considered getting a popcorn backpack or one of those beer hats so that popcorn could shoot down a tube directly into his mouth, but the bag would be held in place on his hat? Could he get a friend to walk beside him and hold the bag? Is the popcorn so delicious that he cannot help but to eat it as soon as he buys it? Does it taste better if you eat it straight from the bag? Can he not eat things that he's touched with his hands? Are his hands abnormally dirty and, thus, would taint the popcorn if he were to touch it?
These are the things I wonder.
Popcorn Man, won't you tell me your secret?
The Popcorn Man, however, is not your ordinary popcorn-carrying citizen. He loves the popcorn so much that he can't wait until he gets to his office to eat it, but how will he eat it if he has to walk at the same time? Here's his bright idea: he will carry the bag with both hands and then hold it high enough while he walks so he can lower his mouth down to it and eat directly out of the bag. This does not happen just once or twice during his walk; no, he happily eats out of the bag every 5 or 6 steps as he walks through the tunnel.
Is he not strong enough to hold the bag with just one hand? Has he not discovered that his hands can do two different things at one time? Is he really that hungry? Does the popcorn really get that cold that quickly? Does he has some kind of mental or emotional aversion to lukewarm popcorn? Has he not thought to eat enough from the top of the bag while he is still at the snack shop so that there is no possibility it will spill? Does he only have 10 minutes for lunch so he has to accomplish both the getting and eating of lunch at the same time? Has he considered getting a popcorn backpack or one of those beer hats so that popcorn could shoot down a tube directly into his mouth, but the bag would be held in place on his hat? Could he get a friend to walk beside him and hold the bag? Is the popcorn so delicious that he cannot help but to eat it as soon as he buys it? Does it taste better if you eat it straight from the bag? Can he not eat things that he's touched with his hands? Are his hands abnormally dirty and, thus, would taint the popcorn if he were to touch it?
These are the things I wonder.
Popcorn Man, won't you tell me your secret?
Maybe he finds it fun to eat like a dog?
