DD's Conferences (vent)

AnnieBananie

AnnieBananie

New member
DD's preschool conferences were this morning and I got to find out that I have raised a rude child. :unsure: Now I kinda feel like crap. A girl made something for her and she threw it away and said "I don't really like that". We absolutely do not treat each other that way here at home. I've made a conscious effort to teach her good manners and good behavior and yet still... I've got a child who is hurtful and rude. :thumbdown: She doesn't treat her cousins and family friends this way... not even her brother (usually). I don't get it. Ugh, I could cry.

Thanks for letting me vent. I just had to tell somebody.
 
Our kids are like that sometimes. And who knows, the two girls may have a history to where your daughter feels the need to lash out somehow. We certainly didn't raise our boys like this, either, but every once in awhile, our oldest goes off into weirdo land and we don't even know who the boy is LOL.

Take heart. It's okay - even our kids are allowed to have bad days sometimes.
 
She wasn't being rude (in her mind), she was being honest.

The thing about preschoolers is that they don't exactly grasp the concept of social correctness. To her, she didn't really like the picture so she threw it away, no big deal.

I would just talk to her about how her actions might hurt someone else's feelings. And then just be patient and let her "grow up" a little bit.

You taught her good manners, Annie. She's just too young to understand which situations warrant which manners.
 
As a twelve year veteran of teaching, I've learned one thing.

KIDS ARE BRUTALLY HONEST!

Kids call it like they see it. It's not that she was being mean, she was being honest.
 
oh, I agree, she was just being honest. People are always complimenting me on my polite kids, but then they'll do this exact thing. My DD will work for hours on some drawing for my DS and he'll look at it and say, I don't want it, I don't like it. Or something like that. It's something good to work on this time of year, in fact, when granny'll give 'em something like socks for Christmas!
 
how old is she? Kids in elementary school really haven't learned or understand empathy yet. They just say whats on their mind without realizing it might hurt the other person. I bet she never intended to hurt her friends feelings!
 
dont feel bad about it. Use it as a learning experience for your daughter and talk about what happened, why she reacted that way and why it is important to be gracious and thoughtful when someone gives you a gift even if it something you dont really care for. Everyone struggles with this at some point in their life and has to learn how to handle these situations. This negative experience can be turned into something positive. Hope you got some positive feedback to balance out the negative also. I know how hard it is to hear something bad about your child but it is how you handle what you are told that is important...and trust me I think every mom/dad has had this moment at some point with their children so you shouldnt beat yourself up over it
 
Is the teacher basing her judgment on this one instance? If so, that's not very professional IMO.

Is she doing something to encourage good manners? I hope so, since the behavior occurs in her environment and not yours.

It's not necessarily a reflection on you. :) Hugs!
 
The teacher gave that one incident as an example and just basically said that Faith has issues with empathy... "she doesn't think before she speaks or acts" is what she said.
 
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Yeah, I suppose she would have issues with empathy, since she's 4!! Sure, it's an age where they can show empathy, but they're still very egocentric too. They have difficulty thinking about people other than themselves. It's developmentally normal. My daughter is about the same age, and I definitely see what you're talking about.
 
Here is your mantra for today Annie...

Stand in front of a mirror, looking yourself in the eyes and say with a firm, confident voice...

"I'm a good mother. My daughter is a good child. And gosh darnit, people like me."

:p
 
AnnieBananie said:
The teacher gave that one incident as an example and just basically said that Faith has issues with empathy... "she doesn't think before she speaks or acts" is what she said.
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:thumbdown: I don't know a lot of 4 yr olds that do! Isn't that why we have them in school, to learn these types of social interaction? My daughters pre-k teacher is always making little comments that seriously make me wonder what kind of training they get in early childhood education.
 
crecia27 said:
Isn't that why we have them in school, to learn these types of social interaction? My daughters pre-k teacher is always making little comments that seriously make me wonder what kind of training they get in early childhood education.
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My thoughts exactly.
 
Don't feel bad! You can teach them whatever you want, and they'll still do whatever THEY want in public.
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UGH! Yeah, don't feel bad because we don't do that in the house either and my kids have totally shocked me in public with some stuff. ((((HUGS))))
 
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