Gonna boot DH in the throat...

[AnnieBananie]

DH has this incessant need to "help" me (I notice it's only with stuff that's not what you might call "woman's work"). It's usually bearable so I just ignore him... well not lately.

It all started this last weekend while we were hunting. This year was only my 3rd year as a hunter... so I got ALL of his "help" that he based on HIS 3rd year of hunting... when he was 15. "See these deer tracks... deer came through here." Really? I didn't know that's how that worked. Good to know. :thumbdown:

THEN he informed me that, to work the drill, I have to put the big battery into the gaping hole on the bottom... AS I was grabbing a battery off of the charger to do just that. :glare:

Well, now his car sh*t the bed... and he won't just let me ride with him to work and then drive my car home, no, I've got to drive him. Y'all see where this is going? For 2 days... 2 DAYS!!!!... I've had to hear stuff like "They're stopping up there.", "That light's going to turn red soon.", and the straw that broke the camel's back today....

"That bridge deck over the river gets a lot of black ice... be careful."

REALLY?! Hmm... I can't believe that a bridge deck over a body of water where the cold air is super-charged could possibly get ICE on it! ICCCCEEEE YOU SAYSSSSSSSS?!!?!? I totally failed basic physics, I'm so glad you told my stupid ass about the devil that is black ice... :blink::blink: Really, at almost 30, I'm pretty inept when it comes to common sense... thank GOD I have my husband to tell me what to do. :cursing: If only he could pee and poop for me... I'd be set!

*panting angrily*

I *know* he's looking out for me... and I try so hard to be appreciative... but seriously, am I so wrong to find this absolutely insufferable!? For real... I'm going to boot his ass out of the passenger seat next time. Screw it.

[ditzyscrap]

LMAO...I'm sorry, but I can't. stop. laughing.

Ahem. Hahahhahahah.

Whew. Sorry...

Yeah, men are a pain in the butt. ;)

[DawnMarch]

If only he could pee and poop for me... I'd be set!

ROFL. I'm sorry he's annoying you -- that's pretty much the way men are!

[ColleenSwerb]

Omg Annie, I totally feel your pain.

I've never really stood for that kind of thing with Jordan. I understand that he's just looking out for me, but I'm not a complete retard. I lived to be 23 without him in my life, I certainly don't need him pointing things out now.

I'm also an extremely sarcastic person, so he mostly knows better. and when he says something anyway, I'm sarcastic, and he deals with it, lol.

[AnnieBananie]

I wish he'd catch on.

See, I get snarky... he gets all emo... then I feel like a jerk... but then he does the same stuff like 10 seconds later. He doesn't get it!

The women in his family are like that though... they're (or maybe they just act) really helpless when it comes to stuff like driving and tools and whatnot. It drives me nuts!

[Jenn Barrette]

Sorry he feels the need to point out the obvious. I just answer back with sarcasm, lots of angry sarcasm LOL and my DH has learned to back off.

[lizzyfizzy]

oh my annie! i'd be fuming too! although his obnoxious behavior makes for a funny post.

[ditzyscrap]

See, my DH does this too and I always reply "thanks. I'm not COMPLETELY stupid" and he replies "I didn't say you were stupid" but he also doesn't learn. Gotta be a guy thing...

[Jenn Barrette]

See, I get snarky... he gets all emo... then I feel like a jerk... but then he does the same stuff like 10 seconds later. He doesn't get it!

LOL Mine does that to. It drives me nuts, he treats me like I'm a moron, and I end up feeling bad.

[Sharon Kay]

Mine does this to me with "time"...do you know you have a dentist appointment in 45 minutes and it takes 20 minutes to get there? Do you realize that you should be ready to leave in 25 minutes? arggghhhh Then when I have my coat on ready to leave he says "oh? so you're going to leave NOW?"

I have told him that I am old enough to tell time...jeesh I set my cell phone to remind me of appointments with driving time plus 5 minutes added in...so he knows that I am fully aware of the time!! Last time I left about 30 minutes BEFORE he thought I should...and he questioned me on it...I told him "because" and walked out...my "because" was a stop at the coffee shop..but he didn't need to know that! hee hee

Mine drives me nuts when he is driving my van because he wrecked his (rear ended someone stopped on an on ramp)...he never stops at stop signs...just slows down...and we hear of way too many accidents of people running stop lights...he doesn't check to see if the intersection is clear. ...so he does hear me say "stop! It's MY van"...not like he can afford to buy me a new one! Our last trip I just kept hitting the floor board with my foot trying to stop the van...as he ran over a sidewalk...but I didn't say a word...but the 13 year old said "Jeesh dad didn't you see that sidewalk you just drove over?" LOL

[ColleenSwerb]

See, my DH does this too and I always reply "thanks. I'm not COMPLETELY stupid" and he replies "I didn't say you were stupid" but he also doesn't learn. Gotta be a guy thing...

Hahaha, that sounds like me and Jordan! He'll say something I know, I'll say I KNOW, and he'll say, I'm just saying..... and I'm like well don't say! LOLOL!

[kscwgirl]

This is why I do not drive my car when jeff is in it. Because I'd kill him.

[iJenny]

Well, here I am at work giggling at my computer and getting weird looks from my secretary.
I'm sorry dh is being difficult. When my DH tells me how to drive (he refuses to drive my van) I just pull over and get out and make him drive since I"m obviously incompetent to drive myself.
He usually gets the message.

[Paula]

LMAO I don't mean to laugh, but really what I'm doing is co-miserating! My DH is the exact same way!

[pewtertm]

Some of your post reminded me of Bill Engvall's 'here's your sign' routine...can't help but giggle...but it would drive me bonkers too. Maybe for Christmas you could get him the 'Clue' board game and see if he takes the hint.

[crystalbella77]

OMG! Your post was hilarious! But I am sorry! My hubby is the same way..it's sooooo annoying!

[AnnieBananie]

This is why I do not drive my car when jeff is in it. Because I'd kill him.
See, when he told me I had to drive and I had this sudden feeling of dread... it dawned on me, I haven't driven with him in the car (well, while he's sober) for YEARS... for this very reason!

[jessica31876]

LOL Im that way with my husband...we will be driving and Ill be like JOHNNY WATCH OUT!! He doesnt say anything about it though.

I also get annoyed with him because he is always asking stupid questions like how many 1/4 cups are in a cup? Ummm four?? Hence the four on the bottom of that fraction? LOL

[Kat Stokes]

LOL!!! I think all men are the same.......

Do you have to "drive him" this afternoon or tomorrow? If yes, just hop into the passenger seat before he gets to the car. RUN to the car to get by him if you have to. Then plead a headache and say you can't see to drive. Then the whole way NAG at him about his driving.

[meems]

If only he could pee and poop for me... I'd be set!and menstruate.

[Stacey42]

Dh used to do that driving thing to me but I put a stop to it by pulling over every time he did and tossing him the keys. Obviously he thinks he knows more about driving, so he can do it. To this day he drives more often than I do if we are both in my car because he knows he can't keep his mouth shut and I can't keep from pulling over in annoyance. It's not too bad on long trips, but anything under 2 hours he has to drive or it will take us even longer with all the stopping & starting.

[LeeAndra]

Meems, that would be SO worse.

'Oh my gosh, my uterus hurts. I can't go to work today or take care of the kids. I need to lie on the couch and watch football for the next 3 days or YOU won't be having any more children!'

[AnnieBananie]

LOL!!! I think all men are the same.......

Do you have to "drive him" this afternoon or tomorrow? If yes, just hop into the passenger seat before he gets to the car. RUN to the car to get by him if you have to. Then plead a headache and say you can't see to drive. Then the whole way NAG at him about his driving.
HAHAHA!!! Excellent. And yes, I have to go pick up "Miss Daisy" in a couple hours (he worked a half shift for OT).

[AnnieBananie]

and menstruate.
How'd I miss that one!?

Maybe he can also pre-chew my food... I think chewing is beyond the capability of my tiny, pea-sized brain. ROFL! :D

[AnnieBananie]

'Oh my gosh, my uterus hurts. I can't go to work today or take care of the kids. I need to lie on the couch and watch football for the next 3 days or YOU won't be having any more children!'
I knew I'd feel better if I ranted to you girlies! :D LOL!!

"I'm so bloated... look at me! LOOK AT ALL THIS WATER WEIGHT?!"

Sheesh, men turn into hermits (well mine does and exdh did so I assume I can generalize) when they get the sniffles... could you just imagine them with periods?!?!?! :blink: :blink:

I need to put that WHERE to stop the bleeding?!?!

[Brooke W]

My dh is like that only when driving. A year ago last October he had surgery on his shoulder. I had to drive him everywhere. It took all I had to not seriously harm him.You'd never have thought I knew how to drive :cursing:. What's funny though, is that he apologized for it when he got to drive again,lol.

[meems]

Meems, that would be SO worse.

'Oh my gosh, my uterus hurts. I can't go to work today or take care of the kids. I need to lie on the couch and watch football for the next 3 days or YOU won't be having any more children!'bwahahaha, so true. They just wouldn't be able to handle it.

[newfiemountiewife]

I'm lucky Tony doesn't do this to me, and he knows better than to criticize my driving, unless he'd like someone's head up his a$$ (think Hancock...snicker). I know I drive too fast, don't need you to tell me buddy LOL!

Tony isn't an over protective type at all, or a jealous type, sometimes I almost wish he was, but then, no, not really :p

[cheltzey]

Aaron did this a few times when we first got married, but he hardly ever does it anymore since I get so ticked off. I feel your pain!

And Mimi...LOLOLOL!!!!

[~Julie~]

OMG Annie... You have me cracking up. Funniest post I have read in awhile. Sorry he is being a pain.

[NettieB]

Tape record him. When he's "helping" you drive. Then, the next time you ride with him, play it back to "help" him drive. Works really well.

[OrianaVianey]

Everytime Victor do (point the obvious) that I look at him in shock!!! And say... NOOOO!!! I can't belive that!!! My life will be so clueless without your help!!! enlight me with all your knowledge, please!!!!!!!! And so on depending on my mood or how moronic was the observation.

Of couse he laugh his a$$ off.
But we both are very sarcastic so he doesn't do the emo thing! hehehe