what do you do?

J

jessica31876

New member
If your kids say they do not want to eat whats for dinner but want something else do you allow them to have the something else or make them eat what you made? We had hotdogs and beans tonight and my son is saying he doesnt want the hotdogs because they are in the beans. They were not cooked in them though and he eats beans but says he doesnt like hotdogs with beans on them?? I told him to forget it and either eat the hotdogs or go to bed. He has been going on about it for three hours. He is 12 BTW. If it was something I knew he really didnt like Id let him have a bowl of cereal or a pb & j but I KNOW he likes beans and I KNOW he likes hotdogs sooooo what differenece should it make if they are mixed??
 
At my house they can eat what they are given, or they can choose not to. But no snacks, and no options for other food.

If the issue is simply that they not touch, could the hotdogs be ... cleaned off?

It's tough love, but they need to learn that it's not a restaurant, right?
 
I'm mean - they eat what I make or they go hungry. I am not a short order cook, and I only cook one meal for all 6 of us.
There are rare occasions that Des or I will make something we know they don't like, and we will make them something we know they will eat then. But it doesn't happen very often.
 
At his age, I'd let him fix a sandwich for himself. With my kids though, they have to take at least two bites before I'll considering getting them something else. I've been a bit stricter about it lately, Devin's gone to bed without dinner several times in the last month, especially if he refuses something we know he likes.
 
My kids do not like sauce, ketchup...anything like that. So if I make spaghetti, they eat the meat and the pasta, but not the sauce LOL. But see, it's worse here, because Tony doesn't eat that stuff either.

Picky husband = picky kids, and then I end up making 2 meals half the time. If I did the "eat what I make or you don't eat" I'd have to apply it to my husband as well LOL
 
LOL see thats what I told him. If I let him have a sandwich he makes it himself because yea I only make one meal but the thing is he has never said anything before and I offered to clean them off a long time ago but he keeps having a fit. I think it is because his brother got his hotdog without beans because he does not eat beans but he took his out before they were mixed. If my younger son had asked for them before they were mixed I wouldnt mind that but he didnt. He only got mad about it once he saw my older son didnt have beans on his
 
Here it's "eat what I make or don't eat"...the kids are 4 and 6 and eat pretty much everything, even though I'm SUPER picky. If I don't feel like cooking or I'm not hungry, DH will make something he knows I don't like and they eat it.

Tonight they had salad and brussel sprouts for supper. I was quite surprised that they ate the brussel sprouts (it was the first time they'd tasted it)...but they ate them and enjoyed them, lol...
 
well especially @ 12... eat it or starve bucko. LOL that is ridiculous that a 12 yr old would be all poopy over food. Anyway.. I don't make replacement meals for ce- I use to, and it became a game. So he eats what I give him and that's it...
 
While I would never make him eat something he didn't like, at 12, its eat what I made (especially since it was something he does like) or don't eat. I don't believe in forcing kids to eat things they don't like, but yeah, he does like this stuff and is old enough. I think it was just a jealousy thing with older brother getting it different.
 
There are two issues here. First, the fact that he doesn't want what you cooked. In my house, if its something I *know* they like, then they either eat it or go hungry. At 12 years old, I would consider letting them make themselves something to eat. BUT... it would have to be "mother-approved" for nutrition. He cant' snarf down two PBJs and handful of Doritos and call it a well-balanced meal, ya know? I think that making him make himself a good meal is a good compromise. Just don't let it get out of hand, kwim?

The second issue, though, is that he has been throwing a fit and carrying on for three hours. Is he 12 or 2? In this house, there are no fits allowed. If you're going to throw a fit, you aren't allowed to be around the rest of us. A fit is simply a way to for a child to "punish" parent for not giving him his way. So just tell him, "Tough crap, kid. Now you get no dinner AND you're going to your room for the rest of the night." We don't do drama in this house, let me tell you.
 
Our son is a little young but our plan is:

If it is something he really truly hates I think a substitute is ok, but if it is something he would normally eat etc, then he can eat it or not... but he gets nothing else.
 
Yes I should clarify that when I said throwing a fit is asking for the same thing even though I said no and then saying well Matthew got it that way why cant I. He is not actually laying on the floor kicking his feet or something
 
If they don't eat what I make, they can make it themselves. My son has eaten many a bowl of Ramen because he's so stinkin picky.
 
It's what I serve or nothin'. And my kids are 2 and 3. The only exception to that rule is if I make something quite spicy; then I'll fix them a sandwich AFTER they at least try it. And my kids are wonderful eaters.
 
Aanother mean mom here, they eat what I serve or they starve! I have kept stuff out of sauce for the younger one when I make chicken-broccoli alfredo or any type of casserole because he's got that food touching phobia but he still gets the pasta, chicken and broccoli with no sauce and separated on a plate.

Unless I know it's something he really hates and is too hard to separate, like lasagna, which I love but he hates then I might let him eat a bowl of cereal but most times no way.

I don't force them to eat anything they really hate because I was forced as a child and swore I'd never do that but I will not cook two things so it's cold cereal.
 
For now my DS (20 months) eats everything, but I'm realistic and know that it won't happen forever. It doesn't help that my DH is the absolute pickiest eater I've ever seen.
 
cheltzey said:
It's what I serve or nothin'. And my kids are 2 and 3. The only exception to that rule is if I make something quite spicy; then I'll fix them a sandwich AFTER they at least try it. And my kids are wonderful eaters.
Click to expand...

Same here, but mine are 1&2. We started grinding up our meals in the baby food grinder when they turned 10 months and they have always eaten what we do.
 
For the most part it is eat what I serve or go hungry but I'll modify meals I know they don't like. If they are refusing stuff I know they like & have eaten in the past then they are going hungry. I might let them have an apple, it depends on what I think thier motivation in refusing the meal is. If they are just in a contrary mood they get nothing. If they don't happen to like the pasta sauce today they can have an apple.
 
my kids eat what i make and that's it. no other choices, no games. eat or get off the table. and nothing else to snack on.
 
I'm having the same problem with my 3 year old son. He won't eat at all until after he's sat at the table for 1 hour and threatened to eat or he goes to bed. Tonight he was getting creative and giving my 10 month old his french toast when I wasn't looking. I just don't know what to do with him anymore. I don't allow him to having anything else if he don't eat but that don't stop him from not eating......
 
I'd say at 12... tell him to find a solution to the problem himself. Either clean off the hotdogs, or heat himself up some leftovers.
My kids are 3 and 1 so I am still cooking a bit for them. Obviously there are things that they shouldn't be expected to eat, like spicey foods. There is loads of stuff they will eat - chinese and thai, etc. but nothing too spicy which DH and I love. SO I make chicken curries but leave some chicken out of the sauce so we have yummy sauce, and they have everything plain, or with a dash of soy sauce. My daughter doesn't like sauce on her pasta, so she gets it plain with veggies and meat on the side. She doesn't have to all that is served but she must have a 'thank you' bite or two. And since we usually have carrot sticks/apples/etc. with the meal she can have those. Sometimes my kids are just not hungry for a meal, but the next meal they eat twice as much, so I don't stress about it.
 
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I make 1 meal. And cereal is for breakfast. So, no, they can't have cereal for dinner. But tonight was leftover night. And i knw 2 of my 5 kids did not like the stew the first time around. So they got to have the shepards pie leftovers. ( I needed to empty my fridge) SO, if there are leftovers and they are not enough to feed everyone, I would let them eat those.
 
Looks like I land with the majority here. I make one meal and either you eat or you don't! It has always been like that. Funny though we had beans and hot dogs for dinner too. 7yr old son hates the beans!!!! But this is not a resturant. I rarely make them. I don;t mind that he just picks out the hot dogs. Over all he is just a really really picky eater. It is all or nothing with him.
 
My second child was extremely picky, and at 23, he is still an awful eater. He drives his girlfriend crazy! She has never seen anything green pass through his lips!

I always made one meal when they were small, but I also put things on the table that they could eat, and I knew they liked. We always had sliced apples, raw carrots, and maybe rolls or something. They didn't get to make a whole meal on those, but they could have the amount that everyone else would get as well. That way, there was food for them, but they didn't have to eat what they didn't like. It worked for us.
 
Here they can eat what I made or not it eat, it's up to them, but they won't get any sweet snacks after. I do allow them to have fruit or cut up veggies later if they are hungry. Our rule on new foods is that you at least have to take one nice bite before you can declare you don't like somthing....
 
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