Help me keep my dignity~long

I dont like to put my private business out there but I really need some help.
Here is the deal--I came home from work at lunch. I prepped dinner~white chili.
All I needed to do was to add beans and make bread when I came home from work in the evening. My stepson came by my office after school. I asked him to pick up some milk for me. He did. No problem. I got home from work. Dh was napping. So I finish the prep for dinner. I started looking for the beans that needed to be added at the end. I couldnt find the ones that I was sure I had. I asked SS to run to the store to get me some more. I gave him the recipe so he could see that I needed canned white northern beans. I told him to call me when he got to the store so I could make sure he got the right ones.
40 min later he walked back into the house with a bag of dried white beans. I was floored. He couldn't understand why the beans in the bag would not work.
I was speechless. So I went to the store, got the beans-they were very easy to find.
He hadn't asked for help. He had "forgotten" his cell phone. And taken soo much time. Dinner was delayed an hour and a half because he didnt ask for help--he is 17

When I tried to discuss the issue with him, he was incredulous that there was an issue. I explained that I tried to cover all the bases. He could have called me-his response--I didn't know I didnt have my phone til I got there.
He didnt ask for help from the staff--his response-I looked around and didn't find the canned beans. He asked why I didn't ask him to pick it up when he picked up the milk. I was speechless. A 17 year old snot that didnt bother to ask where the beans were in the store was giving me smack.

If you can understand the issue, how do I talk to the little so-and-so? He made me use the phrase "you bet your bippy" I really wanted to say a curse word or two but I was trying to maintain my dignity. Do I let the issue fall?
I really think he needs to be aware that he should have asked for help and not just assume. I realize it seems very small but it is indicative of how he approaches the world. He doesn't step outside his little world. Advise, please and thank you!!!!

I'm afraid that this is how 17-year-olds are. I have a sister that age, and she's totally clueless. Once he gets out into the world, he'll learn. Or maybe not.

I'd let it drop this time; there's nothing he can do about it now. One way to approach this might be to give him responsibility more frequently. I know it's tough, but that will really help him learn. Pick a chore outside the home that he can do on a regular basis (so he can really learn how to do it well). Then as he masters that task, give him additional responsibilities.

I have a 17 year daughter. She does stuff like this. I think it has alot to do with the age. However I think that alot of times no matter how well meaning people are they just cant do something exactly how you want it done or get exactly what you want. I ask my husband to get me something and he brings something completely different then what I asked for. One example I remember clearly is I asked him to get me some texas toast from the freezer section (just garlic bread basically) he comes home with a loaf of garlic bread from the freezer section. Totally different then what I asked for but essentially the same thing in his mind. Probably the same thing with your stepson. he probably doesnt understand the difference between the ones he bought and the canned beans is all. He is 17 and likely hasnt really cooked much in his life. So yea id probably give him a pass on this one.

Yeah, I know my DH wouldn't have gotten the right ones unless I told him where they were, what colour can they were in LOL. He gets most of the groceries now, and does really well, but occasionally, I ask for something that he has no clue of.

I'd let him pass, he probably had no clue what they even looked like in the first place, and though yes, he should have asked someone, if your stores are like ours, no one would know where anything was anyway LOL.

This is why I do most everything myself, it always ends up *right*

I think considering that he did run to the store twice at your request, which to me shows he's a pretty nice kid, I'd let it drop. Yes, he could have done better, but I'm not sure it's worth pursuing further -- you already told him he messed up and I don't think he's going to "get it" from talking to him further.

yeah, i'd let it drop

Ok....I figured I would have to let it drop.
But his whole attitude was smirky. I just wanted to take him down a peg or two...........I am trying to give him more responsibility that is the whole deal with asking him to do things for me. There is a certain amount of frustration because I thought I had my bases covered when I asked him to go to the store. A piece of paper, exact directions, and a cell phone and he still didn't get it right

I still can’t believe the words "you bet your bippy" came out of my mouth.
:blink::blink::blink: The things kids make you say.

Ok...dropping it now. Thanks as always for the sounding board.
I WILL make it thru these teenage years..............won't I?

If I'd been enough of a snit, I'd have thrown the dried beans in the chili and then when everyone asked why the beans were still hard, I'd "explain" LOL

He did go to the store twice though so I'd probably let it go. My DH wouldn't have known to get canned unless I told him and he is way over 17...