From 2 Kids to 3...

[Jennifer]

Talk to me about it. NOOOOOO, I'm not preggo, but baby fever is in full swing. DS is almost 6, DD is 3 1/2...so the age dif would be bigger and that worries me. But I have lots of concerns, lol. I know lots of you have 3+ kids, so I want some honest good/bad advice. Lay it on me. I can take it.

:wub:

[lauren grier]

babies scare me.

lmao

I have nothing to say. you know my deal ^_^

[Jennifer]

Yes, i know, lol. i can't help it...must be my internal clock!

[ZaCola3]

It was HUGE for us...but we went from two to three when our oldest two were 10 & 12.
We had no intention of having three-but someone had other plans for us.

I love Landen-but honestly-I loved our life pre-baby and it has been a HUGE adjustment.

[Emmy]

I don't remember 2 to 3 being a huge adjustment but my older 2 were 3 and 19 months when #3 was born so honestly I don't remember much....

My perception is that it won't be a huge adjustment for you because your oldest is almost 6 and that is an age when kids start to fall in line - they get consequences, they understand how to behave (now whether or not they do it....lol).

To me - the far greater jump was from 1 to 2. When I had 1 kid it was so easy for us to go out - we were a couple with a baby, no problem going to restaurants or whatever, we just took the baby along. And if I needed a break then dh just hung out with the baby while I scrapped or got away. Once we jumped to 2 kids I no longer got time so easily beause that meant dh had to juggle 2....we were much more likely to split the kids up- he takes 1, I take 1. So that was where my adjustment was - getting used to never NOT having a kid on hand. When I had #3 I was fairly used to that so it was just adding another one in. When I had #4 I had made peace with never having a moment to myself EVER so it was all - throw another one on the pile....LOL.

I'm sure I'm not terribly convincing. :D Actually I will say - my attitude has always been, the only child you'll ever regret is the one you didn't have. Kids are awesome and they make our lives richer and more blessed - if you have baby fever, go for it. :)

[Nikki Epperson]

I love all 3 of our kiddos. That being said, when it comes to play time, 3 is always a crowd and one is left out and crying. Ours are also right about 4 years apart 13, 9, 5. May be the age differences, but they fight ALOT. Especially over the little things. Like games to play, pieces to the games, what color their eyes are, how many toes they each have. lol, ok, I spread it on a little thick, but seriously, I wouldn't trade ANY of them for the world, but sometimes, I would ship them somewhere with Fed-Ex. And I'd think about going to get them. :p

[kscwgirl]

well I only have two but going from 1 kid to 2 kids was the huge adjustment for me. after that, I think it's a lot easier. LOL

[tuneskids]

thie biggest adjustment comes as they get older and start to fight more. lol Adding a baby to the mix wasn't a huge deal for us, but as they are getting older, and want to do their own things, it's crazy. Trying to be in 2/3/4 places at once can be difficult, which is why we really don't do many "extras" for individual stuff.

[aggiefamily]

I hear my clock also!
I think going from 2 to 3 would be easier than 1 to 2. I have a major case of baby fever and got a puppy to ease that a bit.

[FlirtatiousBrat]

After 2..it's a piece of cake as long as you have a willing partner to help out.

trust me ;)

[lizzyfizzy]

stick with 2, imo. no joke. 3 is a whole nother can. if your ready for the challenge go for it. think about it esp with this economy. you have to have a bigger car. bigger house. parents are out numbered for school events and stuff. it's tough. :) if your gonna have 3...you can do 5, imo. 2 is easy peasy. i'd keep it easy. ;)

[lizzyfizzy]

i disagree with all of the 2 to 3er's here.

1 to 2 was a piece of cake. 2 to 3, i felt the tug and my kids are seriously so well behaved. for example going through busy parking lots alone. you only have 2 hands...school parties...mom can go to one and dad can go to the other. where does that leave the third? i can go on with example of why 3 is a stretch. :)

[amystoffel]

I have baby fever REAL bad!

[nun69]

well I have 4;) and LUCKY for me they are ages 16, 8, 3 and 18 months...LOVE them to death, but it is EXTREMELY hard even though the oldest 2 are pretty self sufficient...going ANYWHERE is an ordeal and usually only one or two of them go with us somewhere at a time...and it's nothing like going to high school orientation with a 3 week old in tow:p...sam was 13 and ben was 5 when Abby came along and other than ben not getting to sleep with us, it really wasn't that bad and since Sam was already a teenager at the time she did her own thing so it was like just having a baby all over...BUT when Peyton came along Abby was only 15 months and it has been JEALOUSY from the get go...they {Abby & {Peyton} fight over everything now and they BOTH must have undivided attention! Luckily for us, Sam & Ben really do like their own time and like to hang out in their rooms or they play video games together....after saying all that, if you have the will power and patience, GO FOR IT...YOU WILL MAKE IT WORK...WE DO;)

[KristinCB]

if you have the will power and patience, GO FOR IT...YOU WILL MAKE IT WORK...WE DO;)

I think thats what it comes down to, everyone handles things different.. what works for some doesn't work for others etc.

Going from 1 to 2 was really hard in our case because of Lucas being a bit of a high-needs baby. I know a bit part was I just wasn't prepared. Lily was such an easy baby (other than sleeping) and I just never realized how different babies can be!!. It still is tough and I know there will be lots of challenges along the way just as my kids are SO different. I will be the first to admit I don't have as much patience as I would and we feel our family is perfect at 2 kiddos. Its whats best for us, I know I'd be a better mom to 2 kids than to 3 or more.

But then there are others who excel at it and are able to "do it all" so to speak :)

[HeatherKS]

I personally thought 2 to 3 was a much easier transition that 1 to 2. #2 was a huge adjustment for us because we were splitting our time, juggling and learning all over again. When #3 arrived, he just eased into the routine with the rest of us. There was no big transition because we already knew how to juggle, kwim? Our kids are between 2.5 and 3 years apart and it was great spacing for us.

And I agree with Emmy. I think the only child you'll ever regret is the one you don't have. If you don't feel like your family is complete, you'll never shake it. :wub:

[cheltzey]

Going from 2 to 3 was a HUGE deal for us. MUCH MUCH harder than from 1 to 2. As my husband put it, we had to go from "man to man" defense to a zone defense. TOUGH. But totally worth it. It's gotten a lot better now that the baby is older, but the first 3 months were miserable. Granted, my kids are 3, 2 and 5 months, so it's bound to be chaotic.

[newfiemountiewife]

We had our three within 4 years. Benjamin was barely 4 and we also had Amelia, who was 21 months old, and a newborn. There was already noise, mess and no sleep, so we figured another baby wouldn't make any difference LOL

I eased Rachael into the family's routines. She was never a good sleeper, and that was hard, because I was always really tired. And then dealing with a toddler and preschooler also was very tiring.

But, I am glad we spaced them like we did. And I am glad we had the third one, Rae has added so much entertainment to our lives...LOL. I really want one more, but with Rae over 4 now, I can't really go back to babyhood, I think the spacing would be too much. Right now, my kids are 8,6, and 4, and I can't imagine going back. But I long for it, I really do, and wish I had made the decision to do it a year or so ago.

[Jennilyn]

i disagree with all of the 2 to 3er's here.

1 to 2 was a piece of cake. 2 to 3, i felt the tug and my kids are seriously so well behaved. for example going through busy parking lots alone. you only have 2 hands...school parties...mom can go to one and dad can go to the other. where does that leave the third? i can go on with example of why 3 is a stretch. :)

Totally agree Fizzy! There is no way we'd have a 3rd!

[Paula]

I didn't have problems going from two to three. I do agree though, that when it comes to playtime, three's a crowd and two always "gang up" on the third. But, not too badly.

Your oldest is also at an age where he can help you out too.

[jessica31876]

Physically taking care of an extra is not that hard. They do tend to argue more especially with mine being both boys the youngest tends to copy alot the middle one does and he really hates that. My oldest wishes the youngest was a girl as she doesnt have alot in common with a boy that age.

[jorgies5]

I just had #4 a month ago and I honestly think it depends on the age spacing between kids and even your kids personalities. 1 to 2 was easy for me because there was almost four years between them. 2 to 3 was the hardest because there was only two years between them and child #2 is and always has been a HUGE troublemaker. Now going from 3 to 4 has been pretty smooth but again there is a 4-year space between them.

Of course, I think you have to change and adapt the way you do things. I try to avoid taking them all out it public by myself. I usually wait until my husband gets home if I need to run errands. I know a lot has been mentioned about the fighting, but I also find that my kids love to play with each other and keep each other entertained. My two girls are best friends. My two oldest have been extremely helpful with this last pregnancy and now with my newborn.

[mnm_y2]

I have 3 boys. My oldest two will be 6 and 4 next month. The baby is 3 months old. So far, I think that 1 to 2 was harder than going from 2-3. I had both the first in diapers and everything in general was just harder.

Now, the 4 and 6 yo fight! And so far the baby - well, he's a baby :) We already had the larger car - so that wasn't an issue for us. DS1 and DS2 already shared a room but we did have to convert their toy room into the baby room.

It will be interested to see how DS3 gets along with the older 2. My older 2 are best friends even if they fight. They play together and do everythign together. so not sure if 4 and 6 years will be too big of an age gap? My sister had a son 2 months after I did ---- so he'll still have someone to do stuff with :)

[sannajeannine]

If your going to do it, do it now. I had 2 boys, 2 years apart and then 12 years later thought I had a bladder infection, but lo and behold it was my daughter! They loved her to pieces, but they grew up and were gone from home by the time she was 5 and she grew up like an only child.

[AnnieBananie]

What is this "splitting your time" that you speak of? :blink:

[newfiemountiewife]

Oh yes, mine fight like cats and dogs, but I really think a lot of it is due to:

1) Benjamin being a control freak
2) Amelia being the whiny one
3) Rae being Miss Destructo

So the combination is BAD and they do fight. But when they are getting along, they keep each other entertained for hours!

[mummytothree]

After 2..it's a piece of cake as long as you have a willing partner to help out.

trust me ;)

I'll just ditto Meg!! :thumbup:

[LenaGardner]

You can do it :) I think your spacing would be perfect! I'm sure you'd rather have your hands full than your arms empty :)

[Leila]

Andrew and I are going around and around on having a third child. We both would like one, but we worry about the age gap (the boys are 6 and 9, at this point, they'll be at LEAST 7 & 10 before a baby comes along, but probably older). Honestly, it'll be like starting over for us since D & JP are in school all day.

That said, most of the people I know who have more than two children say that two to three was the easiest transition. One of my friends say that three to four was easiest, four to five hardest for her. Her kids are 14, 13, 6, 5, & 2.

[Heather Roselli]

Well I might not count as I went from 1 child to 3 in one swoop! I had an almost 3 year old when I had my identical twins. I agree that as long as you have some help, and helpful partner and a love for kids you'll be fine!

[mlewis]

Well, going from 1 to 2 was hard enough for me that I can't even think about a third. LOL My friends who have gone from 2 to 3 thought that it was fairly difficult, and my mother (who had 4) said 2 to 3 was her hardest transition.

[rach3975]

I personally thought 2 to 3 was a much easier transition that 1 to 2. #2 was a huge adjustment for us because we were splitting our time, juggling and learning all over again. When #3 arrived, he just eased into the routine with the rest of us. There was no big transition because we already knew how to juggle, kwim? Our kids are between 2.5 and 3 years apart and it was great spacing for us.

And I agree with Emmy. I think the only child you'll ever regret is the one you don't have. If you don't feel like your family is complete, you'll never shake it. :wub:

This post says exactly what I would have said. My older 2 were 5 and 2 3/4 when DD was born. She's only 10 weeks old, but so far it's been a MUCH easier adjustment for the same juggling reason.

[sjford0419]

I didn't get a chance to read all of the responses, but going from 2 to 3 was a big adjustment for me! My kids were just getting to the age when they could dress themselves, they were potty trained, strapped themselves into the carseats...independent! And then I had baby 3! In the beginning, it was pretty tough. With my husband being in Iraq ALL OF THE TIME (do I sound a little bitter? LOL!) It was a big adjustment for me!Now that my little guy is almost 4, things have gotten much easier!

[lizzyfizzy]

let me also say that it wasn't difficult when they were small as much as it is tough now that they are all school aged. imagine. dance, soccer, school projects, etc etc...all going on at the same exact time for 3 kiddos. again. mom can tackle one, dad the other...where does that leave the third.

also, imo you should never have more children with the idea that your others are old enough to help out...i think that's a cop out. can they? sure. will they most likely? sure. should you have more babies going into it thinking that...i don't think so.

all of this aside...if you want more and your hubby does too. do it. :) it's your families happiness in hand which ever way you decide.

[Sarah8914]

Ask me in a few weeks! Hopefully my #3 will be here in a few days!!!

For me personally, I don't think it can get harder than having 1. I always wanted to be a mother my whole life and knew it would be hard, but I didn't expect just how hard it really was. The adjustment to becoming a mother for me was so huge and so difficult. #2 was a piece of cake and I'm more than ready for #3.... so I think. :) My little girls have been playing SO well together in the past few months and I know that will help a lot.

There are good points others have made about scheduling and busyness... but I personally don't think that's a reason to not have more kids. For us, family time is SO important that we won't have a ton of extra things dividing up time and keeping everyone away from the family. I know school things happen that aren't extra, but still. we plan to keep schedules low key (as much as possible) and I am not worried about it. If it gets too crazy, we'll drop something (if we can) so everyone can be together and mom won't go crazy.

[rach3975]

My DH gets home too late to help with things like afterschool activities, so whether there were 2 kids or 3 it was going to be a matter of limiting activities so I can do it all. I don't think that's a bad thing; I grew up as the oldest of 3 and wouldn't have traded in my brother for those activities (most days, LOL). It also helps that we live under 2 miles from their elementary, middle, and high schools and all the schools offer things. (I'll check back in 5 years to tell you if it works out the way I'm hoping!)

I'm glad I had DD now because we were still in the limited-outing-nap-accomodating stage. It would have been a lot harder to have her a few years later.

[cynthia1900]

I found the first to be the biggest transition - my whole world changed. When I added the second, it was a little more work but mostly because it was another baby and babies are a lot of work (but oh so worth it). The age dif was perfect for me - 2.5 years so the oldest could help a little (she so wanted to) without being dangerous and was old enough that she could listen and be entertained while I dealt with baby stuff. My third is now 2 and a half, the second 7 and the oldest 9. This is the easiest transition for me. I also love how my children have different relationships as pairs and as a threesome. My older two have learned really great life lessons from having a younger sibling and the youngest is benefiting a lot from having older sisters, in a way that the close ones didn't as much. The downside is some activities don't work for us as a group because of the spread of ages, and I have to work really hard to make sure they all get one on one attention. This was always the case because I am a single mom but once you get to 3 I think it is often harder for couples because they are used to divide and conquer. I will say that having number 3 cured my baby fever permanently but I don't regret it for a second. And with respect to teacher conferences, school actitivities and such, it is doable. Takes more planning and friends who will help with carpooling etc but, at least where I live, it is the norm. I do find a lot less me time with 3 than 2 because I spend more time getting everything ready and organized. But that is a big part of the choice I think - how much do you want another child (not baby) and how important is it to you that your children have another sibling? I was asked to adopt the sibling of one of my children, so that was the original deciding factor for me but I am so glad I went ahead when that fell through as the pain of three is far outweighed by the joy of three and the wonderful things my three girls are learning by having their sisters...so it works for us. Good luck with your decision!

[alansrock]

In this economy I am happy with my 2 kiddos. I know we can help them some with college and can afford most anything for the both of them. I am a practical person so that is how my mind thinks.

[kresta]

If you don't feel like your family is complete, you'll never shake it. :wub:

I totally and completely agree with this. We thought we were done after two. We gave away all of our baby and maternity stuff. We didn't do anything permanent to prevent another baby, but thought we were done.

But we started talking about the possibility of hubby getting snipped and we realized we weren't done. Our main reason for having another (#3) was because we didn't want to get down the road and regret not doing it. And we decided if we were going to have another, it was time.

Our children are about the same age as your's. Wes is 5 1/2, and Claire is almost 4. They are at a great age to be older siblings. They help a little, but not enough to really count on. Mostly, they just love their little sister. One other great thing about their age with a newborn in a house is that they're very independent. Now this was the reason we almost didn't have another, 'cause we were so far removed from the baby season. But, they're able to play together (which they've always done well; they're 19 months apart), and get their own breakfast, and go to the bathroom on their own. I'm not always able to do something for them (if I'm nursing or something), and they're old enough to be able to handle this and sometimes do it for themselves.

If you have any doubts that you're really done, then I would say you're most likely not done. :)

[alansrock]

For me personally, I don't think it can get harder than having 1. I always wanted to be a mother my whole life and knew it would be hard, but I didn't expect just how hard it really was. The adjustment to becoming a mother for me was so huge and so difficult. #2 was a piece of cake and I'm more than ready for #3.... so I think. :)

UMMMM, I don't think us twin moms would agree with this, LOL!

[4noisyboys]

It wasn't a huge adjustment at the time from 2 to 3 kids...but later, I realized how easy life would be with just the 2. Seriously...from sports, to eating out, getting a sitter...everything was harder. My third was extremely easy as a baby, but then things started to change at about 2. By the time he was a teeager (and I was totally by then), we finally had him diagnosed with bipolar. He's 21 now, and it still is a constant daily struggle. We had number 4 when #3 was 4 years old. Thankfully, he has been very easy and a great kid...

SO...not the number of kids, but their level of difficulty, and you never ever know what you're going to get! I love them all though...through the good and the bad!

[Jennifer]

Thanks so much, all of you. You've ALL had some really good points. It's a hard decision...we'll continue to pray about it and discuss it and see what we come up with. :)

[mnm_y2]

also, imo you should never have more children with the idea that your others are old enough to help out...i think that's a cop out. can they? sure. will they most likely? sure. should you have more babies going into it thinking that...i don't think so.


For me it's not so much that they are "old enough to help" but that they are old enough to do things for themselves when they are older. My boys are almost 4 and 6 and they don't need me to feed them. They don't need me to put their shoes on - their clothes on etc etc. The oldest one has homework. The younger 2 don't. I imagine when we get to the baby having homework, the oldest one will be almost 12 and daily homework help won't be needed like it is in kindergarten. Projects? bigger assignments? sure. But by then, I would think that the 6 and 10 yo would be able to do hw on their own while i help one --- or stuff like that.

I don't agree with having the older kids watch the little one, feed the little one, change him etc etc. That's on the parents - not the kids.

[kresta]

Hey Jennifer, just one more thought that I didn't really get into before...

I'm soooooooo very thankful we decided to have our 3rd. My whole entire pregnancy (even though it was not an accident) I was kinda freaked out about how in the world I was going to be able to mother 3 kids. And I already mentioned how out of the baby stage we were. So yeah, I was freaked out. But it's amazing how in about two months time my perspective is just completely opposite ~ Before I couldn't really imagine my life with her in it. Now, there is no possible way I could imagine my life without her. I'm totally in love with her (& my other two)! :)

[Jennifer]

Thanks, Kresta. :wub:

[rachaelsscraps]

I dunno about 2 to 3, but this summer we're going from 1 to 2! And I'm so scared!!!! My 3 year old is crazy- he started waking up 2x at night, so I'm already sleep deprived!!! Well, I guess I outta get used to it now! :)