Open Letters: Public Library Edition

[iJenny]

Dear Frazzled Mom of Three Boys,

I understand that you're exhausted. I have only two sons and they make me crazy. You have three, so I'm guessing its just that more tiresome. But please, for the love of all that is holy, grow a pair and discipline that obnoxious toddler of yours! Carrying him through the children's section as he screams and pulls your hair only to give in and carry him *back* to the train table is considered bad form. Doing it THREE TIMES borders on a death wish.

The next time you walk by me dragging that screaming monster of yours, I'm going to trip you.

And I'm not going to feel bad about it.

Huggles,
Me



Dear Grandmother with Cute-but-Manipulative Granddaughter,

I understand that she's your grandbaby. I get it, really. But do you really think you're doing her a favor by allowing her to get away with murder when she's with you? She's only three, for the love of god, and she's already talking back to you and demanding everything from a piggy-back ride to a cookie from the vendor out front. Giving in to her won't make her love you any more than she already does.

You're turning her into a brat. Is that what you really want? Think about it.

Huggles,
Me



Dear Overwhelmed Daycare Provider,,

I get that its hard work to round up all 8 of your daychare charges, walk them down to the library, and then manage to keep an eye on all of them.
But if you insist on yelling at them any longer, I'm going to have to say something. First, its not their fault that you don't have eight sets of eyes. They aren't doing anything wrong! They are just looking at books, for the love of pete! Isn't that what they're supposed to do at the library!?!

Gesh, Lady! Knock it the frick off!

Huggles,
Me

[lizzyfizzy]

i die at your open letter.

[LibbysMommy]

*giggles* You are too funny, my dear!! Love these letters!!

[lizzyfizzy]

Dear Mother Of One Insanely Spoiled Boy In Line @ Target,

When your child screams for candy in the check out lane, it hurts my ear drums. I don't care that you are a mindless moron whom doesn't know how to parent a 2 year old and frankly I'm glad your kid gives you a hard time. You clearly deserve it. Maybe last time I saw you here and you gave into the 4 things he asked you for in the checkout line hadn't happened, today wouldn't suck for you. Seriously...buy a book. Learn to not suck for I fear my ears may bleed.

Hugs and Kisses,
The Hispanic Chick Glaring At You From Lane 4

[MelissaL88]

*SNORT* to both of you :D

[AmyM]

Bwwahahhahahahahahhaa I have thought the same things. Just not as adventurous and brave as you two to write them down. Sometimes I blurt them out, which is even worse. :blink:

AWESOMENESS GIRLS! :thumbup:

[MelissaL88]

Sometimes I blurt them out, which is even worse. :blink:


Amy, do you forget to mute your internal monologue? :p

[lizzyfizzy]

ahahahahaha!!! i just don't *get* some people. open letters are jenny's brillant passive agressive nature that entertains me on a daily basis. you do not want to be *that* mom at chick-fil-a when the two of us are together. no bueno...lol!!!

[iJenny]

ahahahahaha!!! i just don't *get* some people. open letters are jenny's brillant passive agressive nature that entertains me on a daily basis. you don't not want to be *that* mom at chick-fil-a when the two of us are together. no bueno...lol!!!

Yeah, no kidding. The slide nazi came thisclose to suffering the wrath of the BOTH of us.

Funny Story re: my passive aggresive nature towards sucky parents: the other night liz and I met at Barnes and Noble for coffee. I got their first and when I walked in there was a mom outside holding her baby and SMOKING A CIGARETTE. So I gave her a really nasty look (I wanted to say something, but refrained) and went inside. Where I proceeded to call Liz and tell her, if that woman was still out there when she arrived, to give her equally dirty looks, just to drive my point home. :D

[lovely1m]

Funny Story re: my passive aggresive nature towards sucky parents: the other night liz and I met at Barnes and Noble for coffee. I got their first and when I walked in there was a mom outside holding her baby and SMOKING A CIGARETTE. So I gave her a really nasty look (I wanted to say something, but refrained) and went inside. Where I proceeded to call Liz and tell her, if that woman was still out there when she arrived, to give her equally dirty looks, just to drive my point home. :D


That always pisses me off, too. I work security in the military and on occasion am posted at the main gate. I always get ticked when people pull up to me smoking, like I want to breathe their smoke, right. Well, some lady does it yesterday and I start to get annoyed until I look into her backseat and see she has kids back there, like pre-teen age. Nothing like setting a great example. Pissed me off good. :mad:

[Jennifer]

LOL at you guys!!! :D

[AnnieBananie]

Mother of my children,
Eat them.

That is all.

[AnnieBananie]

BTW... I'm LMAO @ the theft of "huggles" ROCK IT, yo. :thumbup:

[Mandy]

Dear Other Manager,
Bite me. I had a meeting. You clean it up. Oh yeah, and FWIW, your advice sucks.

Dear Person Selling the Yorkie I Want To Buy,
When I emailed asking you if you still had the male, it would have been cool if you had expanded upon your one worded response. "Yes" doesn't tell me anything, smarty pants. Now I don't want him.

Dear Old Lady in the Paint Aisle,
Don't come to Lowe's and ask me about deck stain if you don't want to take my advice. Yeah, go ahead and stain your deck without cleaning it first...sure you can pressure wash your deck without cleaning it. Nah, I don't know jack, I just work here. Oh BTW, when your old @ss realized your deck looks like shizz, don't come back to try to talk to me. I already tried to help you and you didn't take my advice.

[rachaelsscraps]

Dear Grandmother with Cute-but-Manipulative Granddaughter,

I understand that she's your grandbaby. I get it, really. But do you really think you're doing her a favor by allowing her to get away with murder when she's with you? She's only three, for the love of god, and she's already talking back to you and demanding everything from a piggy-back ride to a cookie from the vendor out front. Giving in to her won't make her love you any more than she already does.

You're turning her into a brat. Is that what you really want? Think about it.

Huggles,
Me


Can you send this to my MIL?!!!!! :p

[AmyM]

Amy, do you forget to mute your internal monologue? :p
Apparently I need a mute button :D

[bellbird425]

this is the best thread! :thumbup: a pat on the back to all the letter writers!

Dear Owner of the White Fluffy Cats Down the Street,
Keep your cats out of our yard and away from our fish pond if you don't want my DH to douse them with a bucket of cochineal dyed water. The netting over the pond obviously isn't enough of a safety measure. We do not appreciate having to clean white fur out of the filter or have to give our fish anti-anxiety meds.
If you think it took ages for the scent of chicken manure to wear off their fur the last time he was able to surprise it, when he caught it crapping in our veggie garden, wait til u have a stinky, pink cat! Have a nice day.

[lizzyfizzy]

this is the best thread! :thumbup: a pat on the back to all the letter writers!

Dear Owner of the White Fluffy Cats Down the Street,
Keep your cats out of our yard and away from our fish pond if you don't want my DH to douse them with a bucket of cochineal dyed water. The netting over the pond obviously isn't enough of a safety measure. We do not appreciate having to clean white fur out of the filter or have to give our fish anti-anxiety meds.
If you think it took ages for the scent of chicken manure to wear off their fur the last time he was able to surprise it, when he caught it crapping in our veggie garden, wait til u have a stinky, pink cat! Have a nice day.

ohmygosh!!! :D:D:D justine...i'm cracking up at you.

[lizzyfizzy]

Dear Old Lady in the Paint Aisle,
Don't come to Lowe's and ask me about deck stain if you don't want to take my advice. Yeah, go ahead and stain your deck without cleaning it first...sure you can pressure wash your deck without cleaning it. Nah, I don't know jack, I just work here. Oh BTW, when your old @ss realized your deck looks like shizz, don't come back to try to talk to me. I already tried to help you and you didn't take my advice.

what a moron.

[scrapperjade]

To The 6 Mother Group at Burger King -

I understand you are having are together for your kids to have a "play date" and for you to have some "girl time". I would love that too! But, seriously, if NONE of you know how to tell your children to shut the heck up, you shouldn't be a parent. Nobody else likes to hear 6 under-school-age children humming in a screaming pitch for 20 minutes while they are trying to eat. Everyone in the entire place, which is FULL, is annoyed and glaring at you. My husband has even yelled SHUT UP ALREADY (oh, yes, that was him!). One of you, but preferable ALL, need to pull up your big girl panties and discipline your horrendous children!

Slaps to all of you,
The very annoyed couple who is childless for the day, and would like to relax

[AmyM]

I'm sure I'll have a good one for you after we get back from a birthday party this afternoon. ;)