NSBR: In need of help/advice

I am really having issues with my ex. He and myself have 50/50 custody of my 9yo. He takes daily meds and I know he has not been taking them at his dad's. If anyone have knowledge about meds and what I should do, could you PM me? I am just so mad right now I can't type it all out right now. I think I am going to have to call the ER or the doc here afterwhile for advice as well. Thanks a bunch!

I'm so sorry! That's terrible of your husband to not give him his medication!

Good luck! How horrible of him not to put the son's needs first!

The first thing I would do is ask his father why he has not been giving it to him. I would go from what he says and decide what to do from there. There might be a legetimate reason why (if it was just a weekend visit and he missed a dose or two of course...if it is like everytime he goes there and he just refuses to give it to him then of course that is something else). Communication is the key to co-parenting though when there are two households and your ex should give the same care he gets with you or discuss it with you if it isnt possible. At any rate hope you can get it worked out and your son can get the care he needs while with his dad. Ive seen both of my sisters go through similar situations and it isnt fun at all so I totally sympathise!!

ah Jenn hun I'm sorry you are having probs with the ex. That can get so complicated, I hope your ex has been giving them to him.

What kinds of meds are these? Are these ADHD meds or does he have a life-threatening illness that requires medication?

If communicating your frustration with your ex does not work, you should enlist your child's teacher or school counselor for help. Have them document what your son is like when he comes from your house (meds) vs. when he comes from his dad's house (no meds). Is his behavior drastically different? Does he act inappropriately? Does he get in trouble more often? Have them document 2-3 weeks' worth of information.

I'd also have your son's pediatrician write a letter stating your son must take his medicine for X, Y, Z reasons.

Once you have all this together, file with the court. Ideally, the judge would order your son's father to give him his medication or he will lose some/all school overnights.

Ultimately, you need to decide is this an issue you're willing to 'die' for or are you making a mountain out of a molehill? Will the angst and anger from your ex be worth the trouble? Is being non-medicated truly life-altering for your son? If so, go for it both barrels blazin'.

Good luck.

Hey girls thanks! My son does has ADHD. He lives half with me and half with his dad. I was suspecting that he has not been taking his pills like he should. I sent 8 of each pill with his last week when he went to his dad's. One for each day and an extra just in case. Well it looks like he had only taken one pill the entire week. I asked my son about it. Basically it is my son's job to maked sure he takes them. He is only 9. He is not old enough to be responsible for this. I make sure he gets his morning pill and evening pill. Once his teacher did say that he wiggles more when he is at his dad's compared to me. I tried to call his doctor's office today but no one is there til Wednesday. Tomorrow I am going to try to talk to one of his teacher's.

Problem is, if I ask his dad or step mom about why he has not been taking his pills they will lie, lie, lie. Tonight I am going to go over there and see what they say. I can't call because they never answer the phone.

Thanks everyone.

Can you have the school give them to him? That would take the problem with Dad out of the equation. It's always preferable for a student to get them at home, but we have several that take it at school.

MissKim said:

Can you have the school give them to him? That would take the problem with Dad out of the equation. It's always preferable for a student to get them at home, but we have several that take it at school.

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Well he has a pill at night so that wouldn't work. The daytime pill I give just before he goes to school. I don't think the school would really want to deal with that cuz he would have to get it as soon as he gets there. Then there would the issue of would his dad agree to it.

There have been some other stuff going on but him not taking his pills is of my highest concern on the list. I think I may have to ask a lawyer for advice. I really never wanted to do that but it looks like I might have to.

Jen speaking from experience...The school wouldn't mind giving him his morning med.
I have three or four students who get their am meds at school for a lot of reasons.
I would do that over him not getting his meds-I'm sure he is having rough days at school without them!
Unless he goes to a different school when he is with you, which I'm sure he doesn't, his dad would not have to agree to him taking his meds at school. He would just do it...
Good luck hon!