Plot with me...

AnnieBananie

AnnieBananie

New member
Alright sooooo, I need some creative punishments for my stubborn daughter (5 y/o).

I've tried taking away the tv, video games, sweets/treats (no, not snacks... she needs snack times, I'm not THAT mean... she just ends up with carrots or something), and anything else that she holds near and dear and she literally couldn't give a crap less. She spend 2 weeks with nothing but books and dress-up clothes (back when I had to take the kids' toys away)... didn't even flinch. I've tried giving her extra chores to do... nada. I could take everything away and she'd just sit in the middle of her room, staring at the wall, and be perfectly content for however long it took. :glare:

I'm at a total loss here. She's not on punishment often (actually, she's a DOLL 99% of the time) but when the situation warrants a punishment... I've got nothin'! The girl has GOT TO have an Achilles heel!! RIGHT?!!?!?!? :unsure:

So, whatcha got for me?
 
When our boys get into "big" trouble, my husband puts them to work: cleaning out the cat box, folding laundry, putting it neatly away, cleaning out the toy boxes, helping him in the yard. Manual labor seems to be the best punishment. Or, if the infraction happens in the evening...going to bed early (especially for the older one) is a HUGE deal. They both really hate it!

Good luck!
 
Going to bed early was one of my only thoughts. I'd throw in some chores too, like cleaning and such.

But man, good luck hon. You've got one tough cookie on your hands, lol!
 
I don't have to discipline DS much..I'm lucky in that he's a pretty agreeable kid..but when I do he has to stand in the corner for 8 minutes...like NOSE in the corner and everytime he takes it out the time starts over. He HATES it and it's usually pretty effective.
 
Ohhh going to bed early is a good 'un!! *adds to evil mom-list*

She kind of LIKES cleaning so that doesn't work.

I can't imagine who she could've gotten this stubborn gene from. *whistles and looks around*
 
Does she have any special privileges or events you can take away? Twice a month we put my daughter (17 months) to bed a little early and my son (4 years) gets to stay up with us and watch a movie. It's our way to have some special time with him and we tell him he is staying up with the 'grown-ups'. Anyway, we take away movie night as a last resort. We tell him if he can't act like a big boy, he goes to bed with the baby. Works almost every time.
 
Time outs tend to get shrugged off too. DS, on the other hand, a time out is all he needs! He's easy peasy! Silly girl :glare:
 
Yep, my 4 year old thinks early bedtime is the most horrifying thing EVER. And he can't tell time so all I have to do is tell him he is going to bed early, even if I am putting him to bed at the same time. :D
 
I have been known to take money (pennies) out of someone's piggy bank when they don't behave. This gets his act in order since he loves to spend his "dollars" at the grocery store.
 
Jae was telling me about this really cool little trick and I want to put it into effect for my kids...

You've got 3 jars - 1 filled with marbles and one each for your kids with their names on it. They earn marbles by doing good things and by behaving...and when they misbehave, they get an appropriate amount of marbles taken away. The marbles have a set worth - like 10 marbles = $1 that they can spend on whatever they'd like (or save for something they want). When they spend the money, the marbles return to the stock jar.

At first she might not "get it" buuut, if you take them to the store with said money and your DS gets to buy something with HIS money and she doesn't have any...she might get the point. Then all it should take after that is a threat of taking marbles out of her jar...
 
ditzyscrap said:
Jae was telling me about this really cool little trick and I want to put it into effect for my kids...

You've got 3 jars - 1 filled with marbles and one each for your kids with their names on it. They earn marbles by doing good things and by behaving...and when they misbehave, they get an appropriate amount of marbles taken away. The marbles have a set worth - like 10 marbles = $1 that they can spend on whatever they'd like (or save for something they want). When they spend the money, the marbles return to the stock jar.

At first she might not "get it" buuut, if you take them to the store with said money and your DS gets to buy something with HIS money and she doesn't have any...she might get the point. Then all it should take after that is a threat of taking marbles out of her jar...
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We do this but with small butterfly figurines in a bucket.

ETA: And then they get to pick what we do for family-fun day.
 
ditzyscrap said:
Jae was telling me about this really cool little trick and I want to put it into effect for my kids...

You've got 3 jars - 1 filled with marbles and one each for your kids with their names on it. They earn marbles by doing good things and by behaving...and when they misbehave, they get an appropriate amount of marbles taken away. The marbles have a set worth - like 10 marbles = $1 that they can spend on whatever they'd like (or save for something they want). When they spend the money, the marbles return to the stock jar.

At first she might not "get it" buuut, if you take them to the store with said money and your DS gets to buy something with HIS money and she doesn't have any...she might get the point. Then all it should take after that is a threat of taking marbles out of her jar...
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We have this system going right now & let me tell you - it is working. Daughter #1 is super duper helpful & nice & the sassies are gone. Daughter #2 (or the Duce) has also been super duper helpful, the potty accidents have subsided, the sassiness before bed = GONE. :) Both girls play really well together, get ready for me in the AM without arguing... The jars have been so wonderful!

I got mini flower pot looking things @ the craft store. They are really for tealights. Made labels for each with their names on it & glues some sparkles & flowers to the pots. In about 3 weeks or so - they are close to being filled. I got small flat stones from the craft store, too & they came with special star shaped marbles. To get a star, you have to do something SPECTACULAR! And when they get a star - holy buttons batman! They go NUTS. :) They each have 2 stars now. :)
 
Honestly, I think the punishment should fit the crime.

We've done taking the toys away when they're not cleaned up. We've done "time away" or "by the wall" on several, several, (several) occasions, for lots of different things, but sometimes I find that the best thing is to give them a time out on the spot - sit where you were standing.

Uhhhh...my 5yo. (and 3yo.) get sauce when they're "saucy".

I can't think of anything else right now. My only suggestion is to take each incident in stride and try to find a punishment that fits the crime.

Good luck - it sucks trying to be creative when it comes to discipline!
 
We've got "lying medicine" for the kids, Leah, lol...for Mason it's hot sauce, and for Natalie it's soy sauce (because I tried the hot sauce and she just licked her lips and asked for more :blink: ). This usually gets the culprit to fess up to the truth, lol.
 
ditzyscrap said:
We've got "lying medicine" for the kids, Leah, lol...for Mason it's hot sauce, and for Natalie it's soy sauce (because I tried the hot sauce and she just licked her lips and asked for more :blink: ). This usually gets the culprit to fess up to the truth, lol.
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Of course they like it!! LOL Figures, doesn't it?!

We had a little giggle one night last week, at DS's expense. He got hot sauce and I mean, we're talking the tiniest amount, barely a touch on my finger and he was trying to wipe his tongue off with his hands! It was hilarious!

It sure doesn't stop them from talking back though! And I love the idea of it being "lying medicine", that's a good one!
 
haven't read the other posts, so sorry if there is a duplicate.

Going to bed early might work for her. Maybe not. ??

You said she's five. Is she old enough to write? Could you have her write lines like "I will not ___" over and over again? Something simple, yet totally boring and repetitive.

I dunno. Sounds like she's a tough cookie.
 
oh I hear ya...I've got a 15yo ds that says "fine...whatever"...argghh...and the psychologist told me I am taking too many things away that he has nothing to look forward to (hey he was the one cheating on his schoolwork during the day and surfing)...so he has to do chores instead of losing things...and that seems to make more of a difference...he has his "toys" but doesn't have time to play with them if doing chores (which might get him to clean a bit faster)???
 
My DH (and I stand by my original definition of DH) makes the kids kneel in the corner when nthing else works. And I must admit that sitting there whith nothing to do, nthing to look at is , indeed some sort of tirture. And the clock restarts every time they sit. Eventually one of them forgets what the problem was.
 
aggiefamily said:
iDo to but doesn't work on my youngest. He has one tough rear.
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Ditto. Neither kid is even REMOTELY phased by spankings.

ETA: It worked for a while and then all of the sudden, we were spending half the day spanking their butts because they just didn't care... they'd take it and then go back to the exact naughty thing they were doing. Didn't matter if I used the ol' wooden spoon on them or anything. :glare: It was a sad, sad day.
 
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AnnieBananie said:
Ditto. Neither kid is even REMOTELY phased by spankings.

ETA: It worked for a while and then all of the sudden, we were spending half the day spanking their butts because they just didn't care... they'd take it and then go back to the exact naughty thing they were doing. Didn't matter if I used the ol' wooden spoon on them or anything. :glare: It was a sad, sad day.
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I would shrivel up and die. Spankings are the only thing that work for my kids.
 
Luckily mine are pretty easy going, time outs work for them, because they get them so rarely, it's like hell for them.

But you remind me of my Aunt, when my cousin was little, he was exactly the same way. He was exasperating. I remember her being so frustrated because she would take his Nintendo, and take everything so he had nothing, and he didn't care! He'd say "ok". He was/is EXTREMELY gifted in math, and used to do math and make up stories in his head.

She did everything to him, but he was like a little grown up! Drove her nuts. Nothing worked, spankings, nothing! I feel for ya!
 
I'm glad you posted this because my almost 5 year is in testing the limits mode for the last week and a half and NOTHING is working.
 
umm I think I am way meaner of a mom. I've had my daughter scrub bathrooms, wash trim around the house, pull weeds, pick up doggie doo outside, washing walls.. She's a teen and these are the most hated of chores.

When she was little not letting her go and play with all the other kids around the neighborhood always worked, she loved her friends and going to the park. Also taking her bike away was a horrible punishment.

Now when she's mouthy or back talks I just tell her to keep it up and I will shave her eyebrows off while she sleeps. Since she knows it is something I might do, she doesn't keep doing it. I once put blue hairdye on her hair while she slept as a prank. (it was the washout kind) Since this is prom week she's being very good. Who wants to go to prom without eyebrows..
 
Meadow92 said:
Now when she's mouthy or back talks I just tell her to keep it up and I will shave her eyebrows off while she sleeps. Since she knows it is something I might do, she doesn't keep doing it. I once put blue hairdye on her hair while she slept as a prank. (it was the washout kind) Since this is prom week she's being very good. Who wants to go to prom without eyebrows..
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OMG... I just sprayed water everywhere... THAT is awesome. I am totally making a mental note of that one for later use! :thumbup:
 
You can always try the marker one too. I told my husband not to fall asleep on the couch just go to bed he still went and fell asleep, I took blue marker and wrote DUH on his forehead. He doesn't look in the mirror in the morning and went to work with it on there. He's a painter so everyone at work thought it was hilarious. He doesn't fall asleep for long there anymore. Next time I am putting For Rent on him. :)
 
This isn't really a punishment suggestion, but have you tried giving your DD choices? She is only five, but usually when there is an issue, give kids choices (of course, choices that you want to happen-I would give her 2-3 depending on the situation). They will pick one 95% of the time and if you give them choices that you want to happen, then disciplining isn't an issue -unless its for safety reasons-. That way, they are happy because they get to choose what they want to do, and you are too (since you gave them choices you want to happen anyway). I would start small-if she isn't picking up her room, give her a choice on what to pick up and help her out a little. If she doesn't like to pick up ANYTHING-start small and work up.

i.e.-picking up toys vs. picking up clothes

I also believe in logical consequences-if they don't pick up the toys, then you take them away. If they are yelling, then its quiet time/isolation.

If she can truly sit in her room and stare at the walls, then I would keep it like that until she can figure it out. Eventually, she will get bored. Remember-she doesn't HAVE to have toys and most other items. She should be lucky she has them. Otherwise, it just turns into a power struggle, no one wins, and it will be tougher for you down the road when she is a teen (trust me I know, I teach junior high).
 
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Is she a girly girl? Lukas is usually really easy and doesn't need much punishment but the most effective one I have for when he is naughty is a bright pink t-shirt, I make him wear it lol. The threat of wearing it is usually enough to make him stop whatever he is doing wrong. It works because he can't stand the thought of wearing it he's weird about clothes. I know it would work on my cousin Ella as well because she would hate the thought of wearing something she hadn't chosen she's 5 as well. Sometimes you just have to get creative with the punishments until you find one that works. I just wish I could find one that was effective on my husband he's much more hassle than Lukas :p
 
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