Jon & Kate..

[nikkiARNGwife]

did you watch last night? It's so sad really that they've come to this...I know having all those kids PLUS having to deal with being a "celebrity" has to be hard...BUT I have to say, if it were ME and I were Kate and I saw the affect that this "job" is having on my family, I'd forget the job and focus on healing my marriage..isn't that the best thing she can do for her kids? I think she just really is enjoying the limelight with this show. I'm not excusing Jon at all b/c geez men are so stupid sometimes but it's obvious that this show is having an affect on their marriage and so maybe they do need to let it go if they feel like they can make their marriage work kwim?

btw is it "affect" or "effect"...I can never get those two words right :p

[marnel]

I've watched this show on and off and from the get go I never really liked how she treated Jon, IMO she treated him crappy and he's a pushover so it is what is:sleep: so I stopped watching for a long time until this scandal came up and now I had to watch the show last night.
It seems like they've drifted off into 2 different people as I think she said and is it really healthy for mom and dad 2 be 2gether in the same house and not loving each other they treat each other like strangers just the ho hum usual stuff, so uncomfortable. :unsure:
I agree his actions are unexcused, did he run to the arms of another woman for love, attention things he's not getting from his other half. :glare: IDK but it's sad.

[crystalbella77]

I thought it was sooo sad. :( I think that she feels like she has to do that because she said Jon didn't want her home. Like it was this big circle and she wasn't sure what to do about it now...Like the working was putting a strain on their marriage, but her being home was too because he didn't want her there....

IDK because I don't know them, but that's what it sounded like by what she was saying. :( I just feel so bad for all those kids. They are the cutest things ever!

[newfiemountiewife]

It is affect...LOL

And I agree wholeheartedly. Whether the crap is true or not is irrelevant. He said on the show that the decision to move forward with it was made FOR him, meaning Kate decided for them both. If she REALLY wanted the best for her marriage, knowing he didn't want to do the show any more, then she needed to stop it. Even if it means losing the 1.3 million dollar house. Having *things* isn't worth losing a family over.

ETA that I did see they were both VERY different, and acted very differently towards each other. But the bonus was, she wasn't standing there yelling at him the whole time.

[crystalbella77]

I guess I just don't feel as strongly against her. It seems like he likes the rewards of being on the show just as much with all the stuff he has gotten and gotten to do. Surely he had a say in doing it or not..... :confused:

[marnel]

I guess I just don't feel as strongly against her. It seems like he likes the rewards of being on the show just as much with all the stuff he has gotten and gotten to do. Surely he had a say in doing it or not..... :confused:

I have to agree, he did quit his job and stays at home now!!
So he is totally benefiting and for sure he could've said NO with the situation being the way it is! :glare:

[kresta]

btw is it "affect" or "effect"...I can never get those two words right :p

affect is the verb (what is happening)
effect is the noun (result of what happened)


I didn't watch it and never have really watched the show that much. But it is sad. I would think saving your marriage should be priority over celebrity. It's not like they need more money -- she's got books and stuff that will bring in income for them.

[iJenny]

I think the whole thing is sad, but I'm also pretty pissed off at them both. I mean, they started off on this whole thing to be able to provide for their kids. But along the way, they both became pretty selfish, imo. I mean, of course Kate loves what she's doing. She's no longer just "that mom who has ton of kids". What she says matters to people. And that feels good. But when it starts to literally RIP your family apart, you have to make a choice. And she's choosing her career over her family right now. Providing financially for those kids is not whats most important. All the money in the world means nothing if those kids have a broken family, you know what I mean?
And as for Jon, if he really did cheat, then thats a whole other set of issues. But you can't just blame your wife for your behavior, even if she *is* terrible to you. I'm not surprised that they can't stand to be around each other. They have both changed dramatically for the worse, it seems.

They need to do a few things:

1. Quit the show. You have enough money and all of it means nothing if your family falls apart.

2. Stop doing appearances/talk shows/lectures for at least a litlte while. The spotlight and public attention is literally ripping your family to shreds. Cool it for a while.

3. Find a good marriage counselor and work harder than you've ever worked before.

Because the truth is this: No matter how much they need to be apart right now, their EIGHT CHILDREN need them together even more.

Period.

[emmasmommy]

Jenny took the words right out of my mouth. Quit the effing show. You don't like being stalked by the paparazzi, quit. You don't want to get a divorce, quit. You don't want your family to fall apart. QUIT. Someone who has watched the show and has watched these kids grows up would definitely understand why you are opting out. If they don't, who the hell cares! It's quite obvious from their interviews last night that Jon wants nothing to do with her and vice versa, at this point. It's so sad. And, I'm sorry but you can't tell me that those kids are oblivious to what's going on, especially Maddy and Cara. My 3 year old goes to the store with me, sees Kate on tabloids and says, "look Mommy! It's Jon & Kate plus 8...why is it Kate mad mommy?" I think they should have left it at the end of last season. As soon as you start questioning it, it's time to go.

[cheltzey]

So maybe I'm the only one who didn't watch it...what happened? Did he actually have an affair? Are they getting divorced? What's going on?

[rachaelsscraps]

I didn't watch it either, but I can tell you from the maybe 25 episodes I've seen, I'm not a big fan of Kate's... she's always been holier than thou and really bossy and rude to her husband! I do think that they should've quit the show a while ago though! Who needs the cameras in their face all the time- definitely not healthy for anyone!

[mummytothree]

I don't watch it either but I always read the thread about them her and at my baby board and from "that" here are my two cents:

1. I don't feel bad for them (Jon & Kate.....I feel absolutely terrible for their kids)...they entered into this show willingly (for whatever reasons) and took money, donations, free trips, free tummy tucks ect..for it. They were not forced and they can /could quit any time. They "asked" for this. I'm sure they had seen enough reality shows to know what was going to happen and if not they should have done their research before they signed on the dotted line!!!

2. It's a job...if a "normal" every day job was causing problem and ruining my marriage....I'd quit and/or make my DH quit. Sure there may be contracts involved but to me (personally) my life, my marriage, my well being and my children's well being are worth way more to me then dollar signs. I can not and will not put a price tag on happiness!!

Like I said...I don't watch the show and I don't read the "tabloids", so my two cents may be worhtless :p :D :D

[MissKim]

Not much to add because I didn't see it last night, but I do have to say that Kate is also rumored to have had an affair with her bodyguard. So the infidelity rumors go both ways. Jon was just unlucky to be caught in a photo with another woman.

The way I understand it -- they are in a contract for this year, but had they wanted to quit, the channel would have worked something out. I don't think Jon ever wanted to quit his job, it was more something he was pushed to do because he was away from home so much (I think he had a huge commute) and also because as their celebrity grew, they were doing speaking engagements. At the beginning they both spoke to church groups, etc., but Jon hated it, so he offered to stay home with the kids.

I dislike Kate. Look at how she looks now compared to when the show started. She definitely enjoys being in the spotlight. The kids had no say in it. Jon clearly doesn't like it. In her place, I would make some different decisions.

[mormishmom]

What drove me crazy was that she kept saying - I'm here for my kids. I agree with those that have already said she needs to step out of the limelight for a little while. Being there for your kids would be putting them first and working out what's going on with your family right now. She also said if she could answer the questions that yes they were happy, yes they were loved, yes they were cared for, then things will go on as they have been. Will they be happy and cared for when their parents are getting divorced? It's just sad. It also drove me crazy when she kept repeating that she was doing the party "all by myself" - Here I am taking the kids to get stuff for the party, all by myself. Welcome to the real world, mama! (She hardly looked like she was all by herself at any point in the filming.) LOL My mom hauled 6 kids (containing a set of twins) all over because dad was at work and there was no nanny or "help". I just don't feel badly for her. Like Jon said, life is about choices. However, you have to be willing to accept the consequences of those choices, no matter what they are and I think Kate just wants to control everyone and everything so much that things are sprialing out of control because she can't. Jon has totally made poor choices, but he's the father, so if he thinks the show is hurting the kids, he needs to speak up and stand firm. Also, I hate taking personal shots, but what is up with her hair?

[Chels85]

1. i think they should quit the show and work on their marriage or whatever

2. i feel so sad for the kids

[crystalbella77]

For me...if i had 8 kids..one being a set of sextuplets I would be kind of anal. I don't know how else I would be able to function and get things done if I wasn't. In the past Jon has said that Kate is actually much less anal now than she ever used to be, so he obviously knew how she was when he married her, so it seems unfair for him to be using it against her now. I feel like for her....and the "all by myself" thing, she was more trying to get through it. If my marriage was struggling so much that my husband couldn't help me with our own kids birthday party I would have a hard time as well. I didn't feel like she was trying to get extra sympathy or anything.....but maybe I just missed that.

I just have a hard time with Jon because it seems to me that he has needs that aren't being met and instead of trying to work them out with her or try to work a way out of the show and stuff he went off on his own to do it and I have problems with that. If his needs aren't being met than neither are hers....

And his whole "I didn't have a choice" thing really bothers me because he did have a choice. Camera crews wouldn't have shown up without his permission. Seems like he liked his bday trip to key west and the ski trip with Maddy and the trip to disney world and the new house and the new hair.....etc. all of which were possible because of the show. He has been reaping a lot of the rewards and it's wrong of him to pull a woe is me thing now that he has been caught doing something wrong.

Just my .02 cents! lmao which doesn't mean much! :D :D :D

[nikkiARNGwife]

I totally agree about the "all by myself" comments...when has she EVER had to take care of those kids by herself...even when they were babies there was round the clock help... I mean of course they needed it with 6 at once, but don't sit there and say you're doing it all by yourself when you really never have at all.

I liked the show when it first started...it was real. Now it's just them moving into mansions and throwing birthday parties that probably cost more than my wedding did and getting free trips and fancy cars and it's just not the show it started out to be. They are totally different people and I feel sorry for them to an extent, but they can stop it right now if they want to. Their kids are still young enough that if they walk away from this right now hopefully they won't be too negatively affected by all this. She kept saying last night..I'm doing this for my kids..all of this is for my kids...well, I'm sure that's true to an extent, but she's doing it for Kate too..b/c she likes the attention, she likes the money and she likes the "celebrity"...even when she was talking about the paparazzi last night I got the feeling that she didn't hate it as much as she said she did.

[iJenny]

ITA about Jon, Crystall. They are both being a bunch of selfish whiners. Stop saying you don't have a choice! You have a choice every second of every day. And blaming each other is just bullshit. Especially when you have kids that are going to see all of this footage some day.

[crystalbella77]

ITA about Jon, Crystall. They are both being a bunch of selfish whiners. Stop saying you don't have a choice! You have a choice every second of every day. And blaming each other is just bullshit. Especially when you have kids that are going to see all of this footage some day.

ITA! They both are being selfish that's for sure and it's so sad to think of those poor little kids....who really didn't have a choice. :(

[alansrock]

From the first pilot of this show I could see them heading to divorce. Kate has always been belittling and bossy. I mean from the word go Jon said he didn't want to have more kids after the twins (maddie & cara) but Kate talked him into having more. I have no doubt they love their children as their intentions were good, but look at the cost of it all. SOOOOOO not worth it.

Jon was pretty clear at the end of season 4 that he didn't want to continue and Kate didn't seem to care, she liked being a celebrity. Jon admitted that he was struggling with the lack of privacy and Kate said she was in a happy place. Rewatching that episode last night made it pretty clear that they were already on a crossroads of some sort so I can just imagine that it pushed Jon over the edge. Did he make some mistakes, yes...he admitted as much. But Kate didn't admit any wrong-doing. I mean a marriage is a partnership and it's about compromises. I have seen Jon compromise a lot...his job, being on the show, etc to please Kate and what has Kate compromised???

They've both have done wrong, and we'll never know the truth of the whole cheating not cheating thing. It's not really anyone's business anyway. But it's evident that the show increased the strain of their relationship and they are so headed for divorce. Their interaction last night was so sad to see, especially after seeing how they were before they had a show.

[alansrock]

And what was up with Kate saying that the kids called her by the name of one of the nanny's recently and she was ok with that because she knew they were safe and cared for and loved. I mean if your kids are calling you by the name of the nanny, something needs to give. Is money that important?? I just don't think she realizes the mistake she is making continuing with this show and her celebritity

[iJenny]

ITA agree about Kate not making a lot of sacrifices like Jon did. I truly thinks she feels 100% entitled to get her way simply because she gave birth to sextuplets and stayed home with them for a couple of years. Yes, she did an incredible job of running that household (before all of the nannys, free stuff, etc), but that doesn't mean she gets to be selfish and watch her family fall apart.
Not to mention the fact that she is so incredibly dishonoring to her husband all the time. What Jon did (or didn't do) was wrong. 100%. But is she totally innocent? Nope. Like you said, Jami... it takes two.

[crystalbella77]

But Kate didn't admit any wrong-doing. I mean a marriage is a partnership and it's about compromises. I have seen Jon compromise a lot...his job, being on the show, etc to please Kate and what has Kate compromised??? .

She did openly admit to making mistakes though. She said that it was really complicated and that she of course has made a lot of mistakes in the situation.

I just don't feel like I can judge on her compromising, because no one knows what is in her heart or what things she has wanted and actually has given up. Jon was willing to do everything though and no on forced him into anything, so I don't hold Kate more responsible than he is. I feel like he and the media are pushing everything onto her when he has made all the same choices. we are all responsible for our own decisions. KWIM??

And my kids spend tons of time with their Mamaw and sometimes they call me Mamaw. Totally doesn't hurt my feelings...just a slip like when I mix the boys names up or call Stella "Anna" (my niece"....I don't see that as a big deal. :confused:

[ColleenSwerb]

I don't even watch the show and I know that Kate is gone all the time with speaking engagements and stuff like that for the show. No one forced that on her, but she goes off all the time and leaves the kids.

I think they both suck and the show should've stopped a long time ago.

[lovely1m]

I agree with everything Crystal has said in this thread. I really couldn't have said it better. Must be why we are friends, right, girl? :)

I love them as a couple. They have actually reminded me of my dh and I in some ways. It was so sad to watch the way they interacted with eachother last night. It just wasn't the same. It seems to me like one of them believes its already over. Very sad.

[lovely1m]

And what was up with Kate saying that the kids called her by the name of one of the nanny's recently and she was ok with that because she knew they were safe and cared for and loved. I mean if your kids are calling you by the name of the nanny, something needs to give. Is money that important?? I just don't think she realizes the mistake she is making continuing with this show and her celebritity

Really? She said it hurt a lot to hear that, but she realized it was ok. My son has called me by his day care teachers names, called me Daddy, I really don't think it means I need to quit my job and stay home with him again. He just gets confused.

[kscwgirl]

It seems to me like one of them believes its already over. Very sad.

Yep, and it seems to be Kate. She is the one that didn't want to attend counseling or work on her marriage. :blink:

[crystalbella77]

Yep, and it seems to be Kate. She is the one that didn't want to attend counseling or work on her marriage. :blink:

I didn't know about the counseling. :(

Watching the show i felt like Jon had already checked out. I didn't get that vibe from her at all.

Mari, Love ya girlie! :)

[lovely1m]

I didn't know about the counseling. :(

Watching the show i felt like Jon had already checked out. I didn't get that vibe from her at all.

Mari, Love ya girlie! :)

lmao...uhhh, ditto!

[4noisyboys]

LOL!! I had to google them. I had no idea who they were!

[Traci Reed]

I feel that Jon has checked out too. I think it's interesting, how much people dislike Kate. I was telling my dh last night that the way she talks to Jon would be hard to live with, however he married her, and I'm sure he loved he in spite of that.

I think she does a great job of running things, even though she does have help. A lot of people say "Well is money more important than your kids?" "They could just stop right now" etc, etc but I know that raising TWO kids is damn expensive and can't imagine the costs of raising eight. Yes, they have a lot of lavish things right now, but even living a "normal" life with 8 children is damn expensive and could they give it up? Would working the jobs that they had before this be enough? Etc, etc. I don't know about that, personally.

[Darcy Baldwin]

And can you imagine either of them getting jobs right now? I can't.

Not that I agree with the choices they've made, but still, can you imagine either of them getting a job of any sort? Kate might have an easier time as a nurse, but Jon is IT, with no degree, and that'll be harder to come by - especially to make enough to support the family unless Kate is working full time as well - which she would be able to do this fall when the kids go to school full time.

[lovely1m]

Besides being able to find jobs right now, but would the paperazzi quit following them just cause they stopped the show? Not for quite a while. I think they would actually have a lot of the same issues if they were to quit now.

[mlewis]

I actually didn't see the show last night, but will catch up with it at some point. I've never disliked Kate like alot of people seem to do. Like Traci said, I think you have to have a certain personality to keep all those kids and your household going! However, I did read the People magazine article where she was interviewed last week, and it was very much about "poor me" and took no responsibility whatsoever for any of their marriage troubles. It turned me off her like nothing else has!

[nikkiARNGwife]

I'm not bashing Kate or anything..I think she seems like a nice person with a few character flaws like we all have, but like Melissa said..she needs to step up and say, yes Jon did such and such, but I also did such and such kwim? I mean we've all watched their lives together for several years now and it's obvious that she isnt' too much into compromising when it comes to having her way. I just felt so sad watching it last night...seeing how two people in love can come to such bitterness makes me very sad, especially when those beautiful children are involved.

But you know I was watching Everybody Loves Raymond this afternoon lol...and Marie said something very very wise... "marriage is hard work, but you just put your head down and you plow through"

[crystalbella77]

Traci, ITA and you worded everything perfectly!

The thing is..they were local celebrities before the show ever even started, so no matter what things were always going to be a bit different for them, ya know?

[alansrock]

I'm not an anti-Kate person at all. I just see how her abrasive personality towards her husband could make that relationship a hardship. I am a mom of twins and I think it takes a STRONG personality to be a mom of multiples...I have one myself. And lets face it, we only see what the producers edit and let us see. So we may just be seeing the worst of Kate because that is what they want us to see. Hard to know what the real story is since it is a TV show. All I know is no amount of money would be worth my marriage.

They knew the ramifications of having sextuplets, so I don't feel sorry for their situation. From a monetary standpoint or otherwise. I mean it doesn't take someone with a college degree to do the math on that one. 10 kids=a lot of money. So I see why they did the TV show in the beginning, but seeing how it is tearing their family apart or at least adding to tearing it apart I think that you have to put the relationship over the money. I mean they would still get sponsorship deals, etc if they didn't have a tv show anymore at this point. I saw today that they get $75K an episode, so I am sure that since they got the new house that they are in beyond their means and need the show to pay for the things they want.

The instability of their relationship is heart-breaking to see since it's so public too. But you get what you ask for and like Jon said, it's not always greener on the other side. The price you pay for fame I guess.

[Traci Reed]

A Very interesting diagnosis by a marriage counselor: :) http://www.momlogic.com/2009/05/jon_and_kate_expert_divorce.php

[~Julie~]

It is just a sad situation. It made me uncomfortable to watch the episode last night. I think they should just end the show and work on their marriage.