Moms of Boys: Tell Me It's a Phase

Robin Carlton

Robin Carlton

Owner & Candy Keeper
Staff member
Hey girls with boys...

Around 4 did any of your sweet natured, cuddly, easy going, happy boys turn into whiney, tantrum-y, stubborn little guys?

OMGosh it's making me crazy and a little sad. My Andy bear has always been SUCH a sweetie and lately he cries and whines for everything. I'll say no to something (ie. no you cant watch TV, I'm reading a book, so you need to do something quiet like color or play your DS, etc) and he just wont let it go "me want watch tv" "me want watch tv" "but me want watch tv" and it just escalates with more tears and whining and time out in his room where he just cries like the greatest injustice in the world has been served upon him. He yells through the door "but me want watch tv" "you mean mommy" etc etc *sigh*

Mommies of Boys, give me some reassurance that he's just testing my limits and his - because, I miss my little guy who just wanted to love on me and make me happy (and didnt whine about EVERYTHING) :(

R
 
Sigh ... yes, I'm guessing it's normal. At age 2-3 Jamin would spend hours snuggled up in my lap. His 'play' was quietly arranging/rearranging his cars, playing in the sandbox or pushing his trains around. His rowdiest moments were banging around with his instruments. Now at 4.5 he alternates between utterly crazy rambunctiousness, and complete whiney/pouting nonsense. The 'sweetness' is still there, but I just see it at bedtime when he is curled up next to me while we read together. I'll cry the day that comes to an end.

I attributed it to getting a new sister and thus having to lobby for attention and the influence of friends from school (which he started this year), but now I'm thinking it is just the beginning of 'boyhood'.
 
Thank God for this thread! lol! My son's going to be 4 in 2 weeks (so sad!) and he's become a (hate to say it) brat! He's awful lately but I'm glad to see it's a normal phase! :)
 
It is a boy phase. Boys are emotionally immature and never out grow it.

Can you tell I had a bad day?

Seriously. Boys are just a little bit behind girls in the maturity. And for some reason they have a hard time dealing with emotions at this age. They are torn between being a little boy and a big boy. He wants to be a tough big boy but when he is tired, scared or confused the little baby boy comes out.

We are dealing with the same problem with Lance (4 years) but I am glad to say that Garrett (6.5) has finally outgrown this stage. He has now moved onto the discovering his male body parts stage.
 
I had heard horror stories of the Terrible Twos....but all 3 of my boys put the Terrible Twos to shame...they hit age THREE and it was TREACHEROUS THREEs! ...and having two boys 17 months apart...I lived through it TWO years in a row! argghhh It was then that I understood why mothers in the wild ate their offspring....they must have hit age 3 too!

I've heard of the Fearsome Fours....but I think it is just that the kids hit ONE year in their system and they have to get all that ugliness out in 12ish months! ...each kid might hit it at a different year...but mine each got it at age 3!

In about a year they turned back into cuties...however my youngest never did give kisses EVER again...and he is age 13 now...it's sad. :( My middle one (15) will still give me a kiss and a hug...and even the 20yo ds will give me a peck on the cheek and an occasional stiff hug. ;) ...but no idea what happened to my youngest... :unsure:

Have hope...it will pass...
 
Robin, I am currently raising King Whiney Pants.. seriously, I don't know what happened when he turned 4 in April, but for the love of pete it's going to send me over the edge.

If you pull the wrong pajamas out of the drawer, if you cut his food and he didn't want it cut, if the bowl doesn't have enough milk, goodness I could go on. :blink:

Glad to know I'm not the only one out there dealing with this..
 
Yeah...3 through 5 have been like that for my oldest. Five has been a lot better than 3 and 4, but there's still a lot of whining. Cuddling has been replaced by jumping all over me, but he will still cuddle when he's tired or reading a story. Over the last year he has also gone from having Mom as the center of his world to choosing Dad whenever possible. My little guy turned 3 in March, and I'm dreading the whiney stage with him.
 
Yeah it's normal, but they don't grow out of it.
It goes from whiney baby to brat. He'll stop being whiney and start having male macho attitude. It gets old fast. :thumbdown:
 
I didn't read all the posts, but I wanted to chime in and let you know that, at least for Cameron, the "terrible twos" were easy-peasy compared to late-three and all of four.

I think its a boy thing.
 
Yep, it's a stage, but one that you will probably see again. My DS whose about to be 9, has gone through times that I would definitely describe as "whiney" but it passes only to come back again.

I commented about it to his teacher this year and she mentioned that alot of boys his age seem more emotional.

Maybe it's a hormone thing? IDK.
 
When DS was four, I actually looked up whether crying was normal for a four year old (it is.) DS once cried 8 to 10 times in ONE day. How in the world can you be that upset over so many things? (Oh, and he wasn't tired or sick that day!)

Now he's turned 5, we're revisiting the temper. Thought we'd fixed that when he was two but Oh, No we're seeing it again.

So four was the whiney/crying year. Five looks to be the get his temper into check year...
 
Thank you soooooo much girls!! I am so relieved that it isn't just my little sweetie, and that lots of you are going through / have gone through this too :(

I still get lots of love (he's quite a kissy face) - I just hate the whining, crying thing when he doesnt get his way. Katie is persistent (are you sure? are you sure? etc.) but she's never been super whiney / crybabyish - Emily is about as easy going as it gets aside from being a major girly princess - so this boy thing has just thrown me for a loop because it seems all of a sudden since he turned 4 last month he just falls apart over everything. UGH.

It's gonna be a long year :)

R
 
Ohh noooo!!! Do you mean that this continues???? My ds is 2 and has become a whiny and always testing... please tell me there are breaks... :(
 
I've got to throw my support in here too. My Tristan has always been a bit of a handful but this has been the hardest age so far. Specifically since just before school let out. He began to be very whiny when not getting his way. He's also become very obnoxious. Like he tries to do things that bug you (not so much me b/c I'm pretty firm LOL -- but everyone else seems to be fair game.)

Most days I want to pull my hair out all day long!
 
Oh, it's a phase alright. I just can't tell you how long it is. Devin's still doing it and he's 6½! JP never really got into the whiny thing, thank goodness.
 
hmmph.
I wonder what I'm in for then.
Mine is 2.5 and he's already a brat.

I guess it might be too much to hope for that he becomes sweet at 4, right>?
 
It's totally a phase. THat's what I keep telling myself about my boys! lol! They are both like that and it's soooo hard! My 5 year old is really mouthy and stubborn and moody still.... :( I miss my cuddly boys! :(
 
yes yes yes yes yes.. JJ is 3 1/2 and I ask him at least 3 times a week where my sweet boy went and can he bring him back. omgah the whining. :cursing:

Although i will say that his 5 1/2 yr old sister is WAY more whiny than he is. She's a full fledged drama queen though.
 
Just wait...they turn back into fun little guys again...and then suddenly they TRANSFORM into GASP! Teenagers!!! :cursing: TUDE at every turn!

Signed...the mom who just went through FRAKING TUDE-thousand and 8 with THREE teenaged boys in the house!
 
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LOL Yes, Luca is 4 and a half and I a pretty sure he has a split personality most days! He actually got pissed off at me the other day because I told him he coudn't have something and he said "I am going to call the police and tell them you are mean and to come take you away" I was like "Please do, I could use a vacation" LOL
 
... and it's not just boys ...

My eldest daughter is nearly 4 and had SO many full blown strops yesterday. And it's always over the daftest thing. Usually that her two year old sister won't play some really complicated little game. Poor little girls standing there with this 'huh?' look on her face .... Although she's nearly as bad with the random screaming - proper end of the world shriek over absolutely nothing ...
 
Just wait! I think that 11 was the worst age for all of my boys. They were SO emotional then!

For me, it was when one (or two) were doing good, the others were in their bad times, and then it would switch. I couldn't have a time when they were all easy peasy!
 
I want to tell you that it is a phase. Bryan, y older boy is 13. He went through it from 4 to about 6. Then he just went back to being my little man. Now, Derek is 5. And the past year has been a tantrum a minute. So I am hoping that 6 is the cut off.
 
I found 4 to be a tough age with both my kids. They both were so STUBBORN at that age -- wanted everything their way and threw a fit when it wasn't. My son is 6 now, and you can actually reason and negotiate with him now. Much better.
 
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