Jon and Kate +8 (*spoilers*)

[Jenn Barrette]

Did anyone watch tonight? I just caught the last 15 mins or so. I had really thought that they were going to end the show and work things out. I am so sad for those kids :(

I also think it is sick that the show is going to continue. Those kids are going to be in such turmoil, and to have cameras around during that huge transition is going to be so sad.

[lauren grier]

I don't watch the show.. but I *know* what the announcement was.. and lemme just say... as someone with a 5 yr old, and goign through divorce.. I think they are freakin pathetic to be continuing on with the show while these kids will be adjusting to this. Some of you know to the extent of how things have been affecting ce..... it makes me sick to my stomach to know these kids are going to be "working" in front of the camera, and have all these people up in their buisness when they're trying to sort through their lil kid emotions and what not.
/rant.

[paperboutique]

I don't watch the show either and I don't follow it, but from what I do know, if they're marriage was in that much trouble, they had no business carrying on with the show. It's a money-grabber and very sad for those children.

[Jennifer]

The whole thing makes me so, so sad. :( :( :( I don't get what they're thinking AT ALL.

[knlchevys]

I think she is only thinking about the money. I heard they make $75,000 per show. She's got to pay for the house so she has to keep the show going. She keeps saying it's all about the kids having peace and joy. I would think showing them what a normal life is without cameras would be better peace and joy for them. Can you imagine what the kids will say when they are all grown up? I'm sure they'll ask why she kept doing it. Sorry to rant

[LibbysMommy]

I don't watch the show regularly, but I had to watch tonight to see what the big announcement was. I was really hoping they'd say that they were going to take a break from the show to work on saving their marriage. I am completely disappointed and heartbroken for those children. They are going to suffer so much because of this and to have it all documented on television. So sad. It makes me mad that Jon just doesn't seem to care - he seems so emotionally uninvolved. They're completely selfish and if they really wanted to do what was right for their children, they would quit the show and try to give them as much of a normal life as possible (if that's even possible for them anymore). So so sad.

[jocelinsmommy]

Kate has been quoted stating not verbatum but that it would punish the public if she took her kids out of the spotlight as people want to see how it all ends up rather than just cutting things off etc. I think she's such a heartless person...personal opinion but if my marriage was failing as most parents of multiples do or so she states (idk i don't have multiples), I would quickly shut off the show---she's a nurse and he's an IT guy if I'm not mistaken--or something to do with computers---anyways---they'd do just fine, even if the show went off. Like i said this is my personal opinion but still. They wont get to go on vacation to SC or anywhere else and stay in a house/private area that is/was 10,000 a day to stay in on a private island--where she wore a 200.00 bikini--with her free lipo etc...lets add the free clothes she constantly scores for Gymboree for all her kids...or her free clothes for herself she gets from one of her favorite stores for advertisement... but wouldn't u trade that for a marriage? She's more worried about money than her marriage so the announcement of a divorce is in no way shape or forum surprising. My .03 cents.

another 0.02 cents--I think he's so unemotionally involved--if u watch previous shows and see how she treats him it's appualing and embarrassing...I mean I've had a marriage where I was treated like a dog...and talked down to in public...it's not something one would stick around for.(That's why I got a divorce--after awhile my ex had treated me like a lower person, the dog got treated better--I left.)..if u watch where they went shopping I think for the twins birthday presents at toys r us, I was embarrassed for him.=0.05 cents

[iJenny]

they're both damn fools. **putting on my angry eyes**

[newfiemountiewife]

She is not completely to blame though. If you watch all the episodes, which I have, yes, she puts him down, but come on buddy...be a man and grow a set! You only get treated the way you allow others to treat you, and he just needed to tell her at some point to STFU already. The marriage may have ended up failing regardless of the tv show, plenty of marriages do, over 50%, right? And I think the rate is even higher for parents of multiples. She was apparently a control freak before they were married, so if he went into it knowing that, he can't complain about it after the fact. And he can't whine when at the end of the day, he has a $150,000 custom OCC chopper to ride on, and now, he won't have the daily responsibilities of the kids. Should be interesting to see where his mid life crisis takes him next.

They have a huge house there now that has to be paid for, and no nursing job is going to pay for that. If she wants to keep the house, she'll have to keep the show. She could sell the house, move somewhere smaller, and get back into nursing...quit the show and try to get the kids a "normal" life. My parents split when I was 14, and it sucked. It was rough. I cannot imagine being 5, and not having the capabilities to understand why things are the way they are, and to be kept under the microscope like that. I just can't figure out why they would still do the show now. I was a wreck when it happened to me. These kids are so much littler than that, they are around Rae's age, and I can just imagine what it'd be like for her, there'd be no way she'd understand things enough to make sense of it. Poor babies :(

As an aside, I've read some people wanted them to stay together regardless, but he is so aloof, and she's just so silent, the tension was HUGE. I don't agree with that, if the parents are having that much trouble, it's better to end it. But it would have been better to end the show too and let the family heal itself, regardless of where Jon and Kate are in their relationship.

[emmasmommy]

I won't be letting Emma watch the show anymore. It has totally turned into a competition of who can badmouth who, they have both changed so much because of the "fame" and those poor kids. Seriously? Like a divorce isn't hard enough, now you're going to make them do that in the eyes of the public? Horrible. It's not a show about how they "survive" anymore, it's a show about how many freebies they can get, how much money they can spend, and what's going to happen next. No one has a perfect marriage, most of us just choose to deal with it out of the public eye. I'm just disgusted with what that show has turned into.

[nikkiARNGwife]

It's all just sad. So sad.

[sprauncey1]

I don't watch the show since like the second season because I could see where this was going. I had it on last night because I was watching Cake Boss (I want to bake a cake now!) and so watched it. If the remote wasn't across the room I would have turned it off after 15 minutes...I knew what was coming. Next time I will turn it off.

So here's a challenge for all of us (and yes myself included!)

Don't watch the show. It only keeps going because we let it. If we don't watch, the network will drop it. Not that this will solve their problems, but at least we aren't contributing to their "issues" and their kids future issues! Yes they would have to then make financial changes, but come on....they can't make this show for the next 30 years either or whatever the mortgage is!

[lovely1m]

I have watched the show since the beginning and have last night's DVRed though dh told me what the announcement is. Its very sad. I had really enjoyed them, but the past season or so its not a real family anymore. They no longer do things a normal family does. Now its all about trips and meeting famous people and blah, blah, blah. What happened to them playing in the driveway and playing dress up and have 1 kid dates. Its just not the same and its really sad. They both changed a lot.

[FlirtatiousBrat]

it is sad :( My oldest loves the show and we both watched it last night. I heard he wanted out of the show and to lead a lower profile life and she wanted to continue on to keep earning the $$$...I think marriage is too easy to walk away from these days...get off the show and work out your problems. I remember in the beginning they used to have so much fun..it was such a cute thing to see.

[iJenny]

I think they're both equally to blame for this whole mess, but I have to admit: Last night when Jon had the balls to say that he was "excited about the new chapter in my life" I almost threw up. What.An.Ass. Someday, when his kids are older, they're gonna see this show. And they're gonna hear their father say that he was EXCITED to be destroying their family.

The whole situation is sad, but I don't feel sorry for Jon and Kate. They're both pathetic, imo.

[nikkiARNGwife]

I think they're both equally to blame for this whole mess, but I have to admit: Last night when Jon had the balls to say that he was "excited about the new chapter in my life" I almost threw up. What.An.Ass. Someday, when his kids are older, they're gonna see this show. And they're gonna hear their father say that he was EXCITED to be destroying their family.

The whole situation is sad, but I don't feel sorry for Jon and Kate. They're both pathetic, imo.

ITA! I was like "what?" I couldn't believe he said that...I mean I know she's just as much to blame but his attitude last night seemed to be like, "I'm tired of you, I'm young and I want to go live the single life I never got to have". :mad:

[LibbysMommy]

I think they're both equally to blame for this whole mess, but I have to admit: Last night when Jon had the balls to say that he was "excited about the new chapter in my life" I almost threw up. What.An.Ass. Someday, when his kids are older, they're gonna see this show. And they're gonna hear their father say that he was EXCITED to be destroying their family.

The whole situation is sad, but I don't feel sorry for Jon and Kate. They're both pathetic, imo.

This really had me peeved when he said this. I think I also said "what an ass" lol!! I feel so so sorry for those sweet kiddos. :(

[robinforman]

ITA with all that has been said- I have watched the show for a long time, and will no longer be doing so. To subject those poor kids to having to go through a divorce on camera is unforgivable in my opinion.

However, that being said, they had signed a contract for 40 episodes long before this whole thing exploded into the media (I think it has been going on behind the scenes for a long time, the end of last season they were hardly ever together) and they *may* not be able to get out of it. I hope that is the case, just so they aren't completely heartless towards those kids.

[Stacey42]

I think they could get out of the contract with the right spin. A few "Network forces unhappy family to continue series." headlines and TLC would back down, demand exclusive rights to the "1 Year Later" 2 hour special and the filming of any vow renewals and they'd be free to go work it out.

They both annoy me. Jon has obviously disliked doing the show from the begining but was persuaded to go along with it , enjoyed the perks & then never found the strength to say enough already last season like you could see he wanted to. He is a weak character. Kate is who she is.I can't imagine not being something of a drill sargant with that many kids, and she likes the fame & the stuff it brings. They both lie to themselves & say its good for the kids because they both are thinking materially, not emotionally. But I suppose they'll need the money for 8 kids therapy bills.

I almost wish CPS would step in and forbid the filming while the divorce is pending at least. That cannot be good for those children, having cameras there all the time.

[newfiemountiewife]

ITA! I was like "what?" I couldn't believe he said that...I mean I know she's just as much to blame but his attitude last night seemed to be like, "I'm tired of you, I'm young and I want to go live the single life I never got to have". :mad:

Yeah, that was awful. I really hated how he was behaving. I think we'll see him partying it up now for awhile. yes, it's a hard life, but he didn't have to choose it. If back in the day, she had said she wanted more kids, and he didn't, then he didn't HAVE TO do it. No one held a gun to his head and made him do it.

I always thought Jon had it rough, but I can see now that part of it is his weakness and inability to stand up for himself. Of course now he can use his voice, long enough to get his butt out the marriage. I hope his partying is worth it to him. Idiot.

[crystalbella77]

ITA with Jamie. :)

I didn't get a chance to watch the show, but I heard all about it. He seems so far disconnected from the kids and Kate that first episode this season and I think that's just sad. I really feel like he just wants to be "free" or something. :( She has issues and they clearly need to quit the show. I am just so sad about it and for those sweet kiddos who are going to have to go to school and here the kids say things like "Your mom is so mean to your dad." and stuff like that. Things are going to be said to those kids that is going to be so hard for them that others have heard on the show. :(

[lizzyfizzy]

i went to my sisters last nite and she made me watch. i was almost in tears. i thought for sure they would end up on the couch together at the end of the show. how can they get divorced?? i mean they filed papers yesterday! how?!??!?! how can life go on?? how could john say he was excited for what the future holds?!?! it is very obvious that he is cheating. the way he doesn't even want to communicate, his anger...all of it. it's very clear what is going on.

I AM SOOOOOO SAD FOR THOSE CHILDREN.

also, they said they were still gonna do stuff as a family and all that. how are they going to do that once they re-marry? do they honestly think their new spouses are gonna wanna hang out with the ex's?? they are gonna miss holidays, etc. wow. way to ruin 8 little lives. oh...oh...did you hear when john said something about how this was important for himself and his kids..blah blah blah but the kids first. i thought LIAR!!! stay together for your kids. period. their happiness means more than your own and they are not going to be happy if you are not together. end of story.

[crystalbella77]

Well said Fizz. I think it's definitely clear what's going on. :( like the pics of him with the girl on Kate's bday...you know the episode he went skiing on her bday? Well that other girl was there.... :( I am so sickened!

[iJenny]

IMO, she made it abundantly clear last night that she is not wanting a separation/divorce and that he is the one that is "done" with the marriage and wants out.

I'm not saying she doesn't hold any blame, but he's the one that is doing this to the family. And the kids will always remember that.

[kim21673]

i went to my sisters last nite and she made me watch. i was almost in tears. i thought for sure they would end up on the couch together at the end of the show. how can they get divorced?? i mean they filed papers yesterday! how?!??!?! how can life go on?? how could john say he was excited for what the future holds?!?! it is very obvious that he is cheating. the way he doesn't even want to communicate, his anger...all of it. it's very clear what is going on.

I AM SOOOOOO SAD FOR THOSE CHILDREN.

also, they said they were still gonna do stuff as a family and all that. how are they going to do that once they re-marry? do they honestly think their new spouses are gonna wanna hang out with the ex's?? they are gonna miss holidays, etc. wow. way to ruin 8 little lives. oh...oh...did you hear when john said something about how this was important for himself and his kids..blah blah blah but the kids first. i thought LIAR!!! stay together for your kids. period. their happiness means more than your own and they are not going to be happy if you are not together. end of story.


Well said!

[Traci Reed]

I agree with lots of what's been said here though I'm not of the "stay together for the kids" mentality. IMO, having been raised in a house of bitterness, anger and everything that comes with it, sometimes, "staying together for the kids" is way more damaging than just getting a divorce. I think it's impossible for children to be happy if the parents aren't happy. The unhappiness seeps into everything and colors your whole childhood. Every memory I have of my mother and stepfather is tinged with anger and bitterness and fights and meanness. I'm not sure that's the best environment to raise children in, tbh. If he's checked out, done, mean, cheating then why stay together? It's obvious they're not going to do counseling, etc.

[lauren grier]

I just read that production is on hold till august... so who knows. They'll be showing random clips and what not btwn now and then..

oh and that she filed for the divorce ... so I dunno how "not her idea" it was..

[lauren grier]

I agree with lots of what's been said here though I'm not of the "stay together for the kids" mentality. IMO, having been raised in a house of bitterness, anger and everything that comes with it, sometimes, "staying together for the kids" is way more damaging than just getting a divorce. I think it's impossible for children to be happy if the parents aren't happy. The unhappiness seeps into everything and colors your whole childhood. Every memory I have of my mother and stepfather is tinged with anger and bitterness and fights and meanness. I'm not sure that's the best environment to raise children in, tbh. If he's checked out, done, mean, cheating then why stay together? It's obvious they're not going to do counseling, etc.

agreed.... lol and you know w hy I agree ^_^ .. but yeh. I don't give a diddly about the two "Adults" in this situation. It's those poor kids.

[iJenny]

I agree with lots of what's been said here though I'm not of the "stay together for the kids" mentality. IMO, having been raised in a house of bitterness, anger and everything that comes with it, sometimes, "staying together for the kids" is way more damaging than just getting a divorce. I think it's impossible for children to be happy if the parents aren't happy. The unhappiness seeps into everything and colors your whole childhood. Every memory I have of my mother and stepfather is tinged with anger and bitterness and fights and meanness. I'm not sure that's the best environment to raise children in, tbh. If he's checked out, done, mean, cheating then why stay together? It's obvious they're not going to do counseling, etc.

But why not? Why not do counselling? I mean, sure they kinda hate each other right now. But that doesn't mean that they can't work on it and end up with a strong marriage?

I've been where they are, marriage-wise. Jeff and I basically hated each other. There was so much hurt and anger that it seemed hopeless.

But we realized one imporant thing: Our children needed Jeff and I together more than the two of us needed to be apart. Period.

So we worked on it. Hard. And now we're ok. And you know what? My kids might remember some fighting. But they also will remember that their mommy and daddy FOUGHT FOR the family. We fought to keep our family together.

I don't feel like Jon OR Kate are fighting for anything.

Its pathetic. Its a cop-out. I don't think it should be so easy to just get out of a marriage. You should have to try EVERY.OPTION.AVAILABLE before you just bail out.




**Disclaimer** I wanted to add that my views on marriage and keeping marriage together *do* come with some stipulations. In cases of drug abuse, physical abuse, addiction, etc. , I feel that there are different rules. Especially when kids are involved.

[Voodoo_Bryn]

I guess I'm the odd man out here. I applauded Jon for saying he was excited to be moving on. I was in a marriage that I LOATHED... I hated the abusive, manipulative person I was married to, and all I could think of was how my life would actually begin as long as I could cut off that nagging, dead weight limb.

I think Kate Gosselin is a lying, manipulative b*tch and good for Jon for finally getting rid of that hag. I don't watch the show, but I'm in Cali, so this thread was started long before it aired here, so I watched it so I could comment.

Those kids aren't going to be better off either way. They just need new parents, they're being raised by PA's and agents right now.

[Traci Reed]

Jenny - I'm not saying that Divorce is the best idea, I'm just saying that since they've reached the point of not wanting to save it, that maybe it's the best option for them. In the end, we're not in their marriage, don't know what they've done or not done to fix their marriage and are just speculating. LOL

[Designer Ali]

They are selfish freaks if you ask me... the whole situation is so unfair to the kids. How do you think they're going to turn out as adults. Poor babies.

I only saw the show once... Kate nagged the family the entire show. Who would take a bunch of kids to a cupcake decorating shop and expect them to keep their Sunday school clothes clean?! It was ridiculous!

[newfiemountiewife]

Traci, I agree with you and said that in my first post. I don't think it's necessarily important for parents to stay together for the sake of the kids. The tension and fighting isn't worth it.

We don't know what they did/didn't do to try to resolve it, but from the outside looking in, it doesn't look like Jon wanted it to be fixed anyway.

[scrapperjade]

I'm not a watcher of the show, but I've seen enough to know that Kate wears the pants and Jon is completely whipped and beaten down.

With that in mind, a very good friend of mine is emotionally abused by her husband. She feels worthless, has low self esteem and is just depressed. But yet, she doesn't have the courage to file for a legal separation and doesn't want to divorce. She has been trying to get help (counselling), and he won't agree. He doesn't think there is anything *wrong* with him and that she is over-reacting.

SO I do feel for Jon. With Kate being the way she is, how are we to say what his final straw is? How can we judge? It's up to them. Yes, it's sad for the kids. Yes I agree I would have loved it if they could work it out, and I even believe that Kate is using the "most parents of multiples divorce" as an excuse. But I also know that everyone has a breaking point. He may have hit his, and is finally realizing that "Hey, I'm a good person, I'm worth it, and I DESERVE to have someone in my life that loves me for me". Wanting to be on his own DOES NOT mean that he doesn't love his kids.

And thats my thought on the matter.

[ZaCola3]

As a woman of divorce-I was totally elated and happy to move on to the next part of my life-I scooped up my children and was determined to make the best life I could for them-AWAY from my ex.
If I wasn't happy and excited then how could I be a good mom to them.
I think that even though we *think* we know how J&K are feeling because we get a glimpse into their lives every week-the truth is we know very little as to the actual dynamics that make up their family.
If Jon is going to be happy being single-then so be it-if he is happy he will in turn be a better father-
I refuse to sympathize with Kate-I hate the way she acts, she is rude-over bearing and to me appears to be a $$ hungry you know what.
They have extended themselves way beyond the lifestyle the should be living for TV ratings-and for that they have no one to blame but themselves.

[Robin Carlton]

I think they're both crazy, but this world is the only one those kids have ever known. While it's sorta sick, I also think of how traumatic it would be for those kids to go from a family that makes $75K per episode to one that would make $75K per year if they're lucky. No more nice house, clothes, etc AND no more mom and dad together either. I dont think stopping the show is any guarantee that those kids would live a "normal" life and their definition of "normal" could be very different than yours or mine.

When they said that the kids would live in the house full time and J&K would swap in and out - I thought that was crazy at first, but after giving it some thought, with all the travelling for "work" that they've been doing anyway, it probably isnt that much different than the way things have been for a long time and ultimately, it could really give the kids the sense of security and stability not being shuffled back and forth between two parents lives.

The whole thing is a mixed bag of emotions for me. I cant stand them, I feel for them, I dont feel for them, I feel bad for the kids, I'm hopeful for them despite the disfunction of their parents - hopefully it will all work out.

R

[alansrock]

What's interesting is that the their announcement was that they were separating (Apr/May around Mother's Day) and then they put up the disclaimer about them filing for divorce the same day the episode aired. Talk about Kismet?!

Jon said he is happy he's finally standing up for himself when he said he's let Kate do what she wants and walk all over him. So I am sure for him he is happy to be making decisions for himself. It's never easy when you have kids, but their relationship seemingly isn't healthy so I applaud them for thinking of the kids in the aspect. It's got to be a tough thing to deal with and we only see what they put on TV so we don't know the whole story. I mean it's THEIR relationship and it should stay private. But I told my DH from episode 1 that the two of them weren't gonna last!

[kscwgirl]

What's interesting is that the their announcement was that they were separating (Apr/May around Mother's Day) and then they put up the disclaimer about them filing for divorce the same day the episode aired. Talk about Kismet?!

No. Filings like that are public record, so I'm sure TLC didn't allow them to file until the episode aired, they didn't want their big episode blown by the divorce being reported prior to that date.

[lizzyfizzy]

i think divorce is complete and utter bullshit. *unless physical harm is being inflicted on any level. including drug use and mental abuse, etc.

i will not buy for one second that those children will be happier with their parents apart vs. in a house where there is much bickering. as adults, parents need to pull their shit together and put on a happy face ESPECIALLY when you have chosen to bring 8 children into this world TOGETHER!!!!!!!!!

being excited to move on because your wife is a bitch?!?!?! are you kidding me?! if that was the case most of us wouldn't have a spouse. pure immaturity. thinking that you are better off because you grew a pair and stood up to your bossy wife is NOT what is best for your children. again, immaturity.

divorce is wrong, imo. wrong on every level. the kids deserve every happiness and did not come into this world just to have their lives pulled apart. thems my guns and ain't no one gonna change this mind.

[kscwgirl]

Everything isn't black & white Lizzy. Divorce sometimes really is the best thing. I'm not saying it is in this case, or that it isn't. No one knows what their life is like off camera.

[Traci Reed]

yes, in a perfect world, I completely agree with you Lizzy, divorce is bad and awful and can harm a child. The best thing for kids is to have two happy, loving, married parents. I try hard to have that for my kids, and it's what everyone deserves to have.

However, as a child of divorce (my parents got divorced when I was 5 - same age as the little ones) I was actually much happier after the fact. The problem I had in my life was not my parents amicable divorce, but rather my mother's miserable, bitter, stress-filled remarriage. I'm so happy that I grew up with the impression that even though my parents didn't live with each other any more I knew they loved me beyond measure, whereas my memories of my mother/stepfather are all bitter and angry because their unhappy marriage overrode everything else.

I WISH that we lived in a world where all it takes is for the parents to try at marriage for it to succeed, but we live in a fallen world and it doesn't always end up that way.

[Traci Reed]

But, I'm not saying you're wrong Lizzy, divorce is usually, angry, messy and harmful..however unhappy marriages can do the same damage.

[Voodoo_Bryn]

I agree with Sara. Nobody should be forced into a life of absolute unhappiness because the person you married turned out to be intolerable.

That just teaches your kids to settle. You wouldn't want Mady and Kara to grow up and be verbally abusive wenches to their husbands, or worse... spineless pushovers like their dad.

[newfiemountiewife]

My parents are divorced Lizzy, and it's not always as cut and dry as you make it seem. I think if the divorce is amicable, as my parents was, it is a lot less difficult than those that are dirty and messy. Sometimes it is the right thing to do. My parents were able to get along, they discussed things between them in regards to our lives, finances, etc, and because of that, they were able to remain friends on some level, for which I am eternally grateful.

I love my parents a lot, and I would never have wanted them to stay married for me or Steve (my bro), if they wouldn't have been happy that way. They deserve happiness in life, and just because they had 2 kids doesn't mean everything else shuts down. I am not just a mom, I'm also a woman, and if there came a point where my "womanly" needs were not being met, I would have to seriously reevaluate my relationship. I only have one life to lead, and I want to be happy in it. I am a good mother. But if I sat here and Tony and I were yelling 24/7 I think that's doing a disservice to the kids too. They deserve better than that, and so would I.

[Voodoo_Bryn]

I'm glad I left my first husband! If I hadn't, I wouldn't be in the most wonderful relationship and have two darling boys! There is no way I can condone anyone having to live with that controlling beast of a woman.

[newfiemountiewife]

Ya know, they said "something" happened over the weekend that made her finally go file the papers. I wonder what it was.

[ccouch]

We've watched a few episodes here and there. My 5yo daughter loved seeing old reruns of the kids when they were out & about vacationing, potty training, etc. I will NOT be watching the show any longer, however, and will not permit her to watch it anymore either. In fact, I wouldn't even let her watch any shows this season. There's been too much animosity and tension between J&K, and I just couldn't expose her to that.

My DH and I did watch the show last night, and I was just so disgusted by the whole thing. John seems so apathetic and uncaring about the situation - oh, and excited. Lest we forget his excitement. :mad:

DH (who never watches the show) chimed in with his 2cents last night, and thinks that Jon sounds like a guy who's having a midlife crisis and is most likely cheating on his wife.

You know, I would be so much more supportive if they TRIED to work on their marriage and went to counseling. I would imagine there'd be a long line of therapists that would love to have offered their services. As it is, they cite 7-8 months of difficulty with the last 4 being really bad. Really?? It would seem that they could get separate bedrooms in their big ol' house - or John could build himself a crooked house in the woods and they could go through some intense counseling. The whole thing is just terrible....especially for the kids.

[lovely1m]

My parents are divorced and I know I grew up much better with them divorced then I would have had they stayed married.

[Robin Carlton]

DH (who never watches the show) chimed in with his 2cents last night, and thinks that Jon sounds like a guy who's having a midlife crisis and is most likely cheating on his wife.

There's no doubt he's cheating/cheated...

http://www.usmagazine.com/photos/see-all-of-jon-gosselin-and-deanna-hummels-affair-photos

Check out the last 2-3 photos of this slideshow - I would be LIVID to see my husband's "fling" laying out in my front yard while I was traveling. That's crazy!

[newfiemountiewife]

Holy crap Robin! I hadn't seen that pic before...nice bikini :thumbdown:

[ccouch]

ya know, after I posted that reply, I did a quick search online. (note to self: do not spend any more time googling reality tv stars. go scrap a LO or something!)

anyhoo - YIKES!! I saw those bikini pics too. The tag said that it was at the Gosselin residence. So, um, where were all the kids while she was sunbathing at J&K's house? I read she was a school teacher. Maybe Cara & Mady will have her in homeroom. Lovely.

[mturnidge]

While I advocate very strongly for maintaining a marriage and WORKING hard to keep it together, there are a few things I would not expect someone to just set aside.... physical, emotional, sexual, or substance abuse AND infidelity. Kate is rude and mean, but that does not excuse Jon's actions in any way. If your wife is mean, you try and work it out... you don't just run off and commit adultery. I would not expect a mother to stay in a relationship with a man who is screwing someone else. I wouldn't even want to look at my husband if he'd done something like that. That's unfair to expect someone to stay in a relationship like that. It was pretty obvious in the way they were speaking that Jon had cheated, but they never flat-out said it.

[scrapperjade]

While I advocate very strongly for maintaining a marriage and WORKING hard to keep it together, there are a few things I would not expect someone to just set aside.... physical, emotional, sexual, or substance abuse AND infidelity. Kate is rude and mean, but that does not excuse Jon's actions in any way. If your wife is mean, you try and work it out... you don't just run off and commit adultery. I would not expect a mother to stay in a relationship with a man who is screwing someone else. I wouldn't even want to look at my husband if he'd done something like that. That's unfair to expect someone to stay in a relationship like that. It was pretty obvious in the way they were speaking that Jon had cheated, but they never flat-out said it.

I agree with everything, but especially the bolded parts.

[lizzyfizzy]

i agree with what you said too traci about it being a fallen world and it is so sad. i get so upset when people who obviously love one another let circumstances ruin the lives of their children and themselves. it breaks my heart.

jami- just so you know and everyone else knows, i've been around the block. i KNOW it's not cut and dry. the fact still remains however that adults can be VERY selfish and when you bring little lives into the picture you need to try a hell of a long time before giving everything up. my stance on this will not sway no matter what anyone says. my parents have been seperated and almost divorced too many friggin times to count. do you know what that taught me? not that people shouldn't fight but that in the end if you love someone or ever did love someone for the sake of your gorgeous children- you CAN work it out. they are now married 28 years and happier than ever. dennis and i almost got a divorce as well and i'm not talking one fight, we threatened one another. we were on our way to see a divorce lawyer when it hit us both that those three children we had made deserved more happiness than we ever did and for those reasons we sought out help and we are happier than ever. i hate to judge all of those whom are divorced or whom are going through it cause i know its a painful time. i just really wish more adults would really put their kids happiness first and then move from there. in many cases divorce is best- i get that. but not when 50% of marriages are failing. that's not normal. too many people are living in a self gratifying world and not seeing that their children come first.

wow. thats long.

[lauren grier]

well... here's the other thing.. we don't KNOW what has really gone on in their lives. Who knows.. maybe more happened. I do know, for me, for connor, it's better this way- you've told me as such yourself ^_^ .. You can't really lump all peolpe who are going through a divorce into one category (obviously you know this).. I do agree, that it is sad that divorce rates are SO high.. but you also have to look at other things too.. too many people get married for the wrong reasons, too many people rush into marriage etc etc.. Those situations on top of situations like mine, sometimes there is really just no fixing it.I think it's wonderful that some people can work out their marriages-- but those situations, are different.. the two people love each other deep inside and are willing. A hate filled marriage is not good for any child.. and no amount of therapy will MAKE you love someone or MAKE you happy in a situation (or make the abuse go away, or on and on and on) That is all on the individual person. That base.. that love has to already be there..

[newfiemountiewife]

In my case, my parents were married because she was 19 years old and pregnant. Maybe they would have gotten married eventually if she hadn't, but I honestly don't think they would have. They were just 2 very different people who DID try to do right by us, by doing the "right thing", only to have it deteriorate in the end anyway.

[Angie4b1g]

i think divorce is complete and utter bullshit. *unless physical harm is being inflicted on any level. including drug use and mental abuse, etc.


I disagree. It would not have been better for me or my children to remain in a loveless marriage with a man who thought sleeping with my friends was completely reasonable.

We're ALL happier now. Even the kids.

And to answer previous posts - not all divorces are bitter and petty. My ex and I get along fine now, and he gets along fine with my current husband. We're both over each other so there's really nothing to fight about. I don't get jealous of his girlfriends, and he doesn't care that I'm remarried. We co-parent, we sit next to each other at soccer games, and we raise the kids effectively as a 3 person team.

None of this has anything to do with Jon and Kate, and I'll leave my opinions about them out of this post. I just wanted to defend the divorced girls. I'd much rather my kids grow up in 2 happy homes than one miserable one.

ETA: I stayed with him for 11 years. It's not like I didn't try. ;)

[iJenny]

i agree with what you said too traci about it being a fallen world and it is so sad. i get so upset when people who obviously love one another let circumstances ruin the lives of their children and themselves. it breaks my heart.

jami- just so you know and everyone else knows, i've been around the block. i KNOW it's not cut and dry. the fact still remains however that adults can be VERY selfish and when you bring little lives into the picture you need to try a hell of a long time before giving everything up. my stance on this will not sway no matter what anyone says. my parents have been seperated and almost divorced too many friggin times to count. do you know what that taught me? not that people shouldn't fight but that in the end if you love someone or ever did love someone for the sake of your gorgeous children- you CAN work it out. they are now married 28 years and happier than ever. dennis and i almost got a divorce as well and i'm not talking one fight, we threatened one another. we were on our way to see a divorce lawyer when it hit us both that those three children we had made deserved more happiness than we ever did and for those reasons we sought out help and we are happier than ever. i hate to judge all of those whom are divorced or whom are going through it cause i know its a painful time. i just really wish more adults would really put their kids happiness first and then move from there. in many cases divorce is best- i get that. but not when 50% of marriages are failing. that's not normal. too many people are living in a self gratifying world and not seeing that their children come first.

wow. thats long.

I love that you saved my fingers from all the typing, because you know I totally agree with you. :wub:

[lizzyfizzy]

i love you jenny.

just a reminder: i am a girl who got married to a boy she hardly knew at 17. pregnant at 16. if i can survive this marriage i believe that a hell of a lot of people who get divorced can save theirs. like i said, i do understand there are different circumstances but more often than not divorce is not necessary. i will be an advocate for happy families. we can put it that way. in the end if you believe divorce made your family happier, my hat's off to you.

[scrapperjade]

i love you jenny.

just a reminder: i am a girl who got married to a boy she hardly knew at 17. pregnant at 16. if i can survive this marriage i believe that a hell of a lot of people who get divorced can save theirs. like i said, i do understand there are different circumstances but more often than not divorce is not necessary. i will be an advocate for happy families. we can put it that way. in the end if you believe divorce made your family happier, my hat's off to you.

I do agree with you too Lizzy. I agreed with Megan as well, but I do see your over-all point (which I don't think is that divorce is unacceptable under ALL circumstances because you said there are some situations that merit it). And I totally agree that too many people divorce too easily. I mean, look at the divorce rate. 50 years ago it was super low. People stuck it out. Now it's almost as if people get married for the fun of it, going into it with the attitude, "We can always divorce if we get bored". And thats a sad thing to see.

For me, I am against divorce too. I'm not against seperation if the situation needs it (emotional, physical, mental abuses etc), and would only divorce if my husband were to cheat on me. I would definitely give it my all to save my marraige if it were at all possible!!

[crystalbella77]

I agree Jaedyn. :)

I think it's sad that neither one seems to be willing to give their all in order to save it. :( If this has been going on for 7-8 months and they haven't done anything yet....that is so sad.

TLC released a statment saying that the show was on temporary hiatus for at leat 6 weeks. we will see I guess if they do decide to do the right thing for their kids....

[psalm149]

I won't be watching anymore. :(

[NettieB]

Perhaps it isn't the big D - don't mean Dallas - that we're getting after here? perhaps it's the underlying "walk away" issue?

Coming from the got abandonment issues to fill a Samsonite warehouse woman here (am workin' on that) - so Bias. Big time. Yet perhaps that is what really is the root of all of this, how easy it is to throw in the towel and walk. Especially more for some than others. With or without accountability for the blow back that their walking away may cause for others.

So maybe throw out the big D - and we all agree? it's the walk away that causes the hurt, the giving up, giving up on of what could have been or should have been or might have been, whenever the initial walk happened.

[lizzyfizzy]

Perhaps it isn't the big D - don't mean Dallas - that we're getting after here? perhaps it's the underlying "walk away" issue?

yes, this is what it is for me. i guess i didn't think to say that. i read a book called the walk out woman. it's so sad that things so often come to giving up and just walking away.

[Angie4b1g]

There's also a chance they aren't divorcing at all, and this is just a giant publicity stunt. :mellow:

[Kara]

If it is a publicity stunt, all I can say is that it's a pretty sad one given the fact that all of this is chronicled on video for their children to view down the road.

[newfiemountiewife]

I agree. But I don't think it is, unless they are very good actors.

[iJenny]

Perhaps it isn't the big D - don't mean Dallas - that we're getting after here? perhaps it's the underlying "walk away" issue?

Coming from the got abandonment issues to fill a Samsonite warehouse woman here (am workin' on that) - so Bias. Big time. Yet perhaps that is what really is the root of all of this, how easy it is to throw in the towel and walk. Especially more for some than others. With or without accountability for the blow back that their walking away may cause for others.

So maybe throw out the big D - and we all agree? it's the walk away that causes the hurt, the giving up, giving up on of what could have been or should have been or might have been, whenever the initial walk happened.

Nettie for the win!! :D Yes, thats exactly what I was trying to say in all my ramblings. I'm against the giving up without a fight part of divorce. I'm sick of people just walking out on their families because they don't care enough to fight for the happiness of their children. If Jeff and I had divorced, it would have meant a more peaceful home for our children. BUT... we worked so hard for a year and a half in counselling and now, not only do we have a peaceful home for our kids, but our marriage is still intact! I would never say that a couple should remain together miserable and angry and hateful. Thats NEVER good for kids to see. But go get help! Go work on it! I can *almost* guarantee that things will get better if both people are committed to making it work!

[rochelle789]

But go get help! Go work on it! I can *almost* guarantee that things will get better if both people are committed to making it work!

But do we know that they didn't go get help? They very well may have, but feel no need to share that with the public. I can understand that.

I recently divorced and in no way, shape or form do my ex-husband and I feel that if only we were committed it could have worked out. We worked at it for years, and it just didn't work out. Legally, it was easy for us to divorce, but getting to the point of making that decision was anything but. Most people with children don't take these things lightly.

[sczos911]

But do we know that they didn't go get help? They very well may have, but feel no need to share that with the public. I can understand that.

That's not "their" style - KWIM? They share EVERYTHING with the public - why not that? Why not that they were in couseling?

Just how much they are in the public eye & all the stuff that has been unfolding, I feel that in my gut that trying and counseling didn't happen. I am sure it would have been dug up or brought up by now if they did. But it hasn't.

I see it as just giving up and I think that this is happening way too often now. I'm lucky - I'm in a marriage that is good, but when I see the staggering, gut wrentching statistics on how many marriages actually last, it breaks my heart.

I have seen bits and pieces of the show and disliked it. Not even this will get me to watch. I can't stand either one of them & think that at this point, the show should stop. I can't watch something like this with believing what I do about marriage and family.

[crystalbella77]

It's not a publicity stunt. Divorce filings are public record. It's just sooo sad..

Nettie rocks! That's exactly what I meant!!

[lizzyfizzy]

ditto to jenny and steph!!

[LeeAndra]

This is why people are not meant to have 6 children the same age as one another. No one has sextuplets naturally for a reason... and it's because it's too much work and too much stress on the parents. Dogs, cats, other mammals... all capable of raising litters. Happens all the time. Humans are not capable of such and only reproduce litters when they take science into their own hands. I wish people would not mess with the natural order of things so much. I am not opposed to IVF, but having five, six, eight kids the same age is not right.

Aside from that, how dumb is Jon with all his dalliances?! There are obvious plausible reasons why Miss No Name would be all up in a reality star's business, but for him to not be more discreet... insane. He knows the paps follow him around everywhere, and then to go out and get wasted with some lady who is not your old lady knowing that it's exactly the kind of thing that will bring the wolves out... how can you not realize these are pictures your children will see, if not now in years to come, and know what you did and that you didn't care who knew it?! Sure, maybe they didn't actually have physical relations, but wouldn't you be more guarded with your behavior in general knowing you're a 'star' and paps will be recording your every move? Wouldn't you be more respectful of your wife, even if you were not in love with her anymore, and your kids than that knowing how it looks on the outside to be seen all around town and on vacation with a single woman you are not related to?! Why risk the questions and doubt?

I am not a fan of Kate, either, but Jon's recent behavior has just blown me away with its selfishness.

[lizzyfizzy]

*sigh* i suppose he does all of that for the happiness of his children, LA!! don't ya think?!?!?!


:cursing:

[Angie4b1g]

Filing for divorce doesn't mean much. My ex inlaws have filed 5 or 6 times and never actually gotten a divorce.

Not saying J&K are or aren't, just saying that the fact that they filed it in court doesn't mean anything.

[lizzyfizzy]

interesting, angie. i thought when you filed that was that.

[Angie4b1g]

Nope. You file, then there's however long of a waiting period (depending on state laws, and whether or not there are kids), then you set a date for the hearing. Up until the actual hearing, you can back out at any time.

At least that's how it was in Michigan. I'm sure it's a bit different in PA, but either way I'm pretty sure there's still a mandatory waiting period of some kind, especially with kids.

[lizzyfizzy]

oh, gotcha. that makes sense. :)

[Angie4b1g]

The guy that does my nails thinks they are gonna actually get divorced, and then have a new show - Jon and Kate Back Together. :D

[lizzyfizzy]

oh my word. can you imagine putting everyone through that? my husband said they are gonna call the show kate plus 8 and sometimes jon and his ugly girlfriend. :D

[rachaelsscraps]

Well hey everyone, there's a new show on "WE TV" called "Raising Sextuplets" about a husband and wife with a set of sextuplets. Let's see how many years it takes them to go thru this type of situation from being in front of cameras 24/7. I wouldn't do the show if I were them, seeing what's going on with J&K.

[CA Dreamer]

oh my word. can you imagine putting everyone through that? my husband said they are gonna call the show kate plus 8 and sometimes jon and his ugly girlfriend. :D

OMGosh, I almost spit out my drink!:p:p:p

[lizzyfizzy]

OMGosh, I almost spit out my drink!:p:p:p

good times. :D:D:D:D