How do you feel about...

How do you feel about unannounced visits?

  • I don't mind them.

    Votes: 12 15.0%

  • They bother me.

    Votes: 63 78.8%

  • I don't care either way.

    Votes: 5 6.3%
  • Total voters
    80
AnnieBananie

AnnieBananie

New member
...unannounced visits?

My parents taught us kids that it's rude to show up somewhere unannounced... but DH's family just shows up where ever they want, whenever they want. It makes me uncomfortable to both do it and have it done to me... what are your thoughts?
 
I was raised the same was as you. My husband's family thinks it is perfectly fine to stop in whenever they want - drives me crazy!
 
I would never do it, and would hate if it happened to me. Dan's sister does it every once in awhile, and I hate it. Last time I made them stand in the yard while we talked. Not that my house is a mess, but with 2 teens, 1 preteen, 3 cats and a dog, it could almost always use some preparation before we have visitors.
 
I rant away endlessly LOL.. oh and glare at you every time I see you from there on out hahaha.
seriously. it's not cool. it's rude.
 
I would never stop by and visit someone unannounced. Were it to occur to me at the last minute - wow I'm so close to XYZ and should stop by - I'd call first for sure.

If someone stopped here unannounced I'd probably let them in but I'd flat out refuse to let them use the bathroom. :p
 
I hate it hate it hate it! We made the mistake of buying our first house 1 block away from in-laws. fil would come over on Saturday and Sunday mornings at SEVEN A.M. and ring our door bell until we answered!!! So...I would elbow dh to wake him and tell him "your parents are here" and he would say "how do you know it's for me?" and I would tell him because my mother taught me manners and MY FAMILY won't do this to me...it's your family...and 100% of the time it was his parents. We moved. I insisted.

Now they will call when they are about 5 minutes away (we live about 15 minutes) to see if we are home ... guessing in hopes that we can't escape in that time? heh heh I have mastered the art of coming up with an excuse real quick to do an errand that can't wait...

They actually had the nerve to call dh and ask for our garage code so they could borrow something...they couldn't wait of course...he gave it to them. Turns out they would call our house and if we didn't answer they would go over and let themselves in...I didn't realize what they were doing until one day we were over at mil's house (invited of course) and she said "when did you change the pictures in your bedroom?"

I was floored! My in-laws entered our home when we were not there and walked through all our rooms...including our BEDROOM! I was furious...but all I said was "what were you doing in our bedroom?"...she acted like it was HER RIGHT and said "I just wanted to see if you had changed anything". I didn't say anything more to her although I was livid...but when we left I made dh change the code on the garage and promise not to give to them.

They tried another time to get in and called dh asking why they couldn't...he wouldn't tell them the real reason but told them it didn't work any more. ...so guess that was good in a way...they can't get in now.

...what was the question again?
 
MissKim said:
I would never do it, and would hate if it happened to me. Dan's sister does it every once in awhile, and I hate it. Last time I made them stand in the yard while we talked. Not that my house is a mess, but with 2 teens, 1 preteen, 3 cats and a dog, it could almost always use some preparation before we have visitors.
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Yep...I hear ya....house was all a mess last time sil DROPPED by...and she needed to talk to me...so I came out on the steps and blocked the entrance and talked to her there. amazing how his family thinks they can just come by anytime without warning. she doesn't have any kids...so she wouldn't understand a messy house.
 
Hate it... unless it's my mother... she is the only one that can see the house in whatever state it is... of course then I'll hear about how is it that I'm not anal about a clean house like her? So I guess... I change... NO ONE CAN COME UNANNOUNCED!
 
I was never raised to unexpectedly show up at someone's place...usually a call first or whatever. But never inviting yourself over, either.

BUT...over the past few years, I've learned to get used to people showing up unexpectedly. I prefer a call first so I have time to clean up a bit, but really, it's no biggie to me.
 
It's a biggie to me...mainly because my sister would make Martha Stewart look like a slob...so no coming unannounced! ...she prob thinks I don't ever pick up (and prob mom too...but jeesh mom you live ALONE so who is going to mess up your house?)...she outta see it if she doesn't give me notice.

I like to have a life outside cleaning...my sister decided that is not important (the life that is)...so therefore we have differing views. :)
 
it depends on who it is. I come from a small town and people would stop in all the time unannounced and as kids we went between our friends house and ours all the time without calling first. I figure if you come over unannounced then you need to deal with how the house looks and also understand I might not be the best company. Otherwise yea I dont really care who comes over. (well with the exception of my sister because she makes herself feel better by making me feel bad...IE calling me fat or talking about how messy my house is or something else she finds to criticize)
 
I don't like unexpected visitors. I like to not have toys all over the floor... so usually I speed clean the clutter. I think it is rude to just stop by... how hard is it to just give someone a quick call to let them know and give them some time to prepare.

I do however stop unexpected at my grandparents... they loved to be surprised and I think my grandma is always read for guests. BUt I only do it because I know they love to see us :)
 
I don't usually even care for expected visitors! Unexpected visitors are told, and usually not in a polite way, to go away. My 'welcome' mat says KEEP OUT with a huge skull/crossbones on it.

We frequently have people from church drop by unannounced. The first time this one pair of guys showed up, we let it slide but did mention that calling first was the best route as we wouldn't let them in next time. Just a couple weeks ago, they did it again. I told Andrew not to even bother opening the door, but he insisted since they'd seen Devin on the steps. Anyway, I opened it and said, "Come back when you learn how to pick up a phone and schedule a visit. I'll consider letting you in then." and then I shut the door.

DO NOT show up at my house unannounced. :p
 
I really don't care. I just welcome people into the zoo. The house is not always picked up, but that's how we live and we're comfortable so I think that makes our friends and family comfortable as well.
 
Well, our closest family is 10 hours away so they wouldn't bother trying to come by unannounced, LOL! But we have tons of friends here - and I actually don't mind unannounced visits at all. Its only our closest friends - and they all understand that the house won't be perfect (theirs aren't, either!), and I like getting to see our friends!

I figure - if someone doesn't like me for the condition of my house - their loss!!
 
I am another one that does not like unexpected visits! and depending on the mood I am in depends on how you get treatd...lucky for me I have 3 GREAT girlfriends and they are all from different extremes, so I fit right in!!! One makes Martha Stewart look bad {as someone else posted earlier}, one has a house that ususally looks like mine and the other one is inbetween the rest of us :)! And so when one of us visits the other, it doesn't matter what our houses look like because we all understand that we have different cleaning/organizational skills and we are all OK with it!!! They are the BESTES!!!!!!
 
I live out in the boonies, miles from anyone who knows me. I'm not really 'drop inable' as it were. There is no reason anyone would be out near my house unless it was to come to my house & I don't know anyone who would drive 20 minutes out of their way on the off chance we'd be here. I doubt I would mind. I don't really consider or care what others think of my regular housekeeping. My problem would more be that they were interrupting some prime napping, scrapping or reading time. :) I grew up in a close knit community though on a cul de sac. Everyone knew everyone else and dropping by unannounced was common so if I lived in that sort of area I'd probably drop in on my neighbors without calling because that is normal to me.

Not at 7am and not to hang out for hours, but I grew up thinking people stopping by for a chat & cup of coffee in the late morning or early afternoon was just a social thing to do
 
I will say that for me it has nothing to do with how my house looks. My house is what it is. I rarely go out of my way to make it look extra nice for company. I figure that if it's clean enough for us, it doesn't need to be extra clean for them--why treat guests better than I do my own family? Anyway--for me it's just a courtesy thing. I would never just show up at someone's home unannounced with emergencies being an exception, so I expect that same courtesy at my home.
 
Ohhh and just wanted to add that if it is my husbands family yea it kinda annoys me because I dont get along with many of them and they treat me like crap even here at my house
 
Leila said:
I will say that for me it has nothing to do with how my house looks. My house is what it is. I rarely go out of my way to make it look extra nice for company. I figure that if it's clean enough for us, it doesn't need to be extra clean for them--why treat guests better than I do my own family? Anyway--for me it's just a courtesy thing. I would never just show up at someone's home unannounced with emergencies being an exception, so I expect that same courtesy at my home.
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Word. My house is generally picked up anyways... although it was trashed from me being sick for a week, but still... I don't care if my MIL sees the place in that condition... it's just a courtesy thing that gets to me.
 
JenniferBarrette said:
If someone comes to my house unannounced, I don't answer the door. Seriously.
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LOL The problem with that is that my MIL has a key to the place since she watches the kids while I'm at my evening class and would see nothing wrong with just letting herself in. Today it was to retrieve some stuff that was in our deep freezer (which we got fixed after the great meat loss of 2009 but I digress) *sigh*
 
It depends on who it is and when they show up, lol (and whether they mind our house is a complete mess).
 
Oh, I SO could not handle that! My boyfriend gets mad b/c I like to know about all kinds of plans in advance...if his family was like that, it would get all over me! Good luck with that!
 
Umm... yeah... can't stand it when people come over unannounced. Pisses me off to no end, especially in the mornings. We used to live in a condo with another friend of ours, I was pregnant at the time and my BIL would stop by on a weekend morning at like 7! With his kids in tow! Asking about breakfast because they had just gotten back from the park. He would call both of our cell phones and if we didn't answer he would stop by and knock on the door and tap on our window. I made DH answer. Honestly, just because your kids wake up a 6 in the morning doesn't mean that everyone is up. We like to sleep in on the weekends, hell on the weekdays too. He still does it sometimes and I finally told him that our kids will sleep until 8 or 9 in the morning and knocking on the door wakes up the baby. I was just raised to call first. I also hate when my DH tells me the night before or the day of that people are coming over and my house is wrecked. I like a little warning and he usually knows a few days before and forgets to tell or swears he told before. Honey, if I am in the bed, probably means I am asleep and it doesn't count.

However, I also believe that if people are coming from out of town they can call and ask to see us while they plan on being here. My mom will call and say, "hey we want to see the kids is the 14th good?" I say yeah, sure after checking with DH. ILs never come up from Phoenix to see us for the most part. I asked DH why they never come up and they say because they are never invited! I told him that it is an open invitation to family. If they are free and we don't mind they can come up. Honestly, I believe it's a cop out and they always expect us to travel. My MIL didn't see my youngest daughter until she was 6 months old because she couldn't be bothered to come up and then complained to me. Umm noo, get off your butt and drive up here. Just pisses me. End rant.
 
We don't do it, but DH's family used to do it all the time and I hated it! Needless to say they don't ever come over anymore so I don't have to worry about it :p
 
I don't mind.
Long as it's the regular crowd of friends and family who have seen a pair of shoes out of place or dirty dishes in the sink before.
Folks not so close to us, I freak out if my house isn't spotless. Majorly.....and they should call first anyway.
 
IO don't mind if it's family or friends, but if it's someone I don't know very well I prefer it if they let me know first. SO's family live in a different county, so at least I don't have to deal with that:)

SO commutes and is only home at weekends, so people know I'm usually home after the kids bedtime, so they come around unannounced a lot:) Most of my family are pretty good at phoning first, but my dad sometimes stop by unannounced - he doesn't ring the doorbell either unless the front door is locked, but I don't mind that either. And the kid's friends never call first.
 
I am really annoyed by unannounced visits, esp. if the visitor needs to stay at our house overnight. It means I get kicked out of my room to accommodate the visitor. And it happens all the effing time. Even at my own house.
 
Sharon Kay said:
I hate it hate it hate it! We made the mistake of buying our first house 1 block away from in-laws. fil would come over on Saturday and Sunday mornings at SEVEN A.M. and ring our door bell until we answered!!! So...I would elbow dh to wake him and tell him "your parents are here" and he would say "how do you know it's for me?" and I would tell him because my mother taught me manners and MY FAMILY won't do this to me...it's your family...and 100% of the time it was his parents. We moved. I insisted.

Now they will call when they are about 5 minutes away (we live about 15 minutes) to see if we are home ... guessing in hopes that we can't escape in that time? heh heh I have mastered the art of coming up with an excuse real quick to do an errand that can't wait...

They actually had the nerve to call dh and ask for our garage code so they could borrow something...they couldn't wait of course...he gave it to them. Turns out they would call our house and if we didn't answer they would go over and let themselves in...I didn't realize what they were doing until one day we were over at mil's house (invited of course) and she said "when did you change the pictures in your bedroom?"

I was floored! My in-laws entered our home when we were not there and walked through all our rooms...including our BEDROOM! I was furious...but all I said was "what were you doing in our bedroom?"...she acted like it was HER RIGHT and said "I just wanted to see if you had changed anything". I didn't say anything more to her although I was livid...but when we left I made dh change the code on the garage and promise not to give to them.

They tried another time to get in and called dh asking why they couldn't...he wouldn't tell them the real reason but told them it didn't work any more. ...so guess that was good in a way...they can't get in now.

...what was the question again?
Click to expand...


LOL, did they use your MIL as the model for Marie Barone on Everybody Loves Raymond???
 
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