I need to vent :(

Sorry this is long, but I am hurt and I need some hugs and reassurance that I am not over reacting lol

So, my sister has had these two best friends for the past 12 years or so, Debra and Drew. I am close to them also, since I have known them just as long. Unfortunately Debra's mom has cancer and she doesn't have much longer. Debra called me a few weeks ago, knowing that I take pictures for friends and relatives here and there (for money), and asked if I could come to her mom's house, which is a half hour away from me, to take a family picture of her, her dh and dd, her brother and his family, and her sister with their mom and step dad. Of course I said yes, it's the least I can do for such close friends at a time like this, and of course I was not planning on asking for any money.

Well, I get there (and wait for 45 minutes because no one was dressed and half of them were still not there lol) and we do the group picture. Then they each want a picture with their mom. Fine.

THEN, Debra's sister in law asks if her and her dh can get a picture together. I was thinking... With their mom? We already did that...? So I said, "Umm, sure." So they lead me outside to the yard, and it turns out they want a picture of the two of them. Then they want a family picture with their son. Then they say "Oh, we should get one of just ds because he didn't get school pictures this year." WTH?! At this point I was SO irritated. Then Debra and Drew come out and start posing for their family picture. Then they want one of the grand kids together, and then the siblings together. And here is the best part- I turn around and the step dad is coming out of the garage on his Harley for me to take pictures of him on it with the grand kids.

Ok, I was 100% fine with taking the pictures with their mom, as I said, it's the least I could do, but I am really, really upset that they totally took advantage of me and turned it into a stinking Christmas card picture extravaganza. I mean, Debra knows that I take pictures for money. It's a lot of work to edit all those pictures! And she knows that my dh and I are going through a hard time with money right now. I just can't believe that they had the audacity to use me like that. Wouldn't that upset you guys? lol Thanks for listening ladies I feel better now.

that does suck. Bleh. I know what you mean, last year I took the school pics for the local preschool for like 10% over cost because I was trying to be nice. So what happened? People brought in their teenagers and middle schoolers, etc for me to take pictures of, wth? But that's nothing compared to a close friend doing that

Yes that would upset me...I would have told them that you only had enough time to do the pictures of their mom and they can schedule another time for their own photo shoot.

Jennilyn said:

Yes that would upset me...I would have told them that you only had enough time to do the pictures of their mom and they can schedule another time for their own photo shoot.

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Ditto. I would've said something like, "Are you wanting to do a photoshoot for your Christmas shots? Because I do professional packages for those. When would you like to do that?" something like that. I can't believe they took advantage of you like that. I would be ticked, too!

I'd be pretty upset about that too. Sorry they did that to you. ((((HUGS))))

{{{HUGS}}}

that is just rude! i'd def be hurt too, cuz it puts you in an awkward position...

xooxoxoxo

I wonder if the rest of them even knew that you're a professional, rather than a skilled friend doing a favor. If so, I think I'd give them the pictures with the mom free, as planned. Then I'd call up and say I have the proofs of everyone else and when could I show them, playing dumb if they complained. (Oh, I thought you realized that I'm a professional photographer. I was doing the mom photos as a favor, but it's too time consuming for me to do other family photos that way.) If they didn't know, then I think I'd seethe quietly but not do anything. Sorry!

Wow, that is just wrong of them. Sorry they took advantage of you.

hmmmm guess I wouldn't do ANY editing of the photos...send them as taken...??? If they want them edited then you can give them a price quote? Be sure to send a TOU with the pics??? {{{hugs}}} on being taken advantage of!

Jennilyn said:

Yes that would upset me...I would have told them that you only had enough time to do the pictures of their mom and they can schedule another time for their own photo shoot.

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Yes, I would have done something similar to this. But it's too late now. So I would just show them proofs of the pics with their mother, because that's ALL you agreed to do. Since you said that Debra knew you sort of do this for a living, it was very rude and unfair of her to expect you to do the extra things.

I would be hurt and totally irritated. That's such a shame they took advantage of you and put you in such an awkward position :cursing:

Do you typically sell your photos as prints or in digital format? Surely they will not think you are going to supply them with free prints - maybe you will make some money there?

Emmy said:

Do you typically sell your photos as prints or in digital format? Surely they will not think you are going to supply them with free prints - maybe you will make some money there?

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I just do the photos on a disc. I just do it every so often, and it's not like I charge a lot, just for my time shooting and editing, kwim? And Debra knows that, so that's why it really irritated me.

I should have said something, but once I realized what they wanted, I didn't know what to do! lol. Thanks for the hugs girls

First let me say {{{hugs}}} and I am so sorry that it happened to you and I understand why you are frustrated (especially when you need some money coming in right now and you were just trying to be nice).

(To be honest, I'm actually a little surprised that everyone was so "into" the photo session -- but maybe that's because I'm still remembering what it is like during the very last days and hours).

If you want to, edit the BEST photos of the other groups, but I wouldn't spend time editing all of them.

"Word of Mouth" is one of the best ways to gain and lose business. You never know, what might come your way because of the kindness of taking these pictures for them.

what about you give them the disc with the pictures of the family with their mom and then say something like I have the other photos for such and such a price ready to burn to disc when you're ready to purchase them? Maybe say.. it's so much discounted because of your mom. It's unfair that they expect you to do all this for free..

That does suck... not very nice to take advantage...

I, being very passive aggressive... would just give then a disk of the photos for with the mother, then the others here are the proofs (watermark the heck out of them)... and here is my invoice... or "oops, my camera malfunctioned during the rest of the photos, sorry, we'll have to retake those and in case you are unaware, here are my prices."

Thanks for all the hugs and advice girls I really appreciate it!

Don't beat yourself up - I don't think many people would have been prepared to stop the photos and say - um no, I only agreed to do photos of your dying mom for free......