Army/Military Wives --- In Here, Please!

Long story short: Times are hard. Real hard. DH is looking for another job, but has not had any success thus far. When my unemployment runs out at the end of the year, we will not have any steady income coming in. I will be looking for a job at that point, but even then, whatever I get will mostly be eaten up by daycare costs, so it will not be enough to sustain us. While DH was looking for something permanent, he'd prolly be able to deal with being a SAHD for a few months, but no longer than that as he does not enjoy it and has limited patience for things like crying jags, crankiness, etc. DH has decided that if he does not have a FT job at the end of the year, he will enlist in the Army. He will not temporarily move in with either his parents or mine while we get back on our feet.

I'm not too keen on this Army idea for a number of reasons, but DH is pretty determined this will be his course of action if nothing else comes up. One of my primary concerns, of course, is deployment and/or being stationed far away from our families and DH's son. DH spoke with a friend of his who was in for several years (8? 10?) who told him that with DH's master's degree he would not likely be deployed and with how desperate they are for soldiers these days that he'd be able to 'bargain,' I guess, for where he wants to live i.e. get it in writing that he only wants to live in IN, OH, and KY. He was told once it's in writing that it would take an act of the President almost for it to be changed.

Is this information accurate? Since he does have a master's degree, would he be enlisted as an officer and then made official once he went to officer school? Any pros or cons to this situation that he is not seeing? That I'm not seeing? Is this a good idea?? Any stepfamilies/non-custodial parents out there who've had to deal with this situation before?

Please weigh in, ladies! Thanks!!

I am not an Army wife, but have you discussed moving to find work? Maybe closer to a larger city? Or even to another state nearby? Or maybe to another region in your current sate?

I mean, it probably wouldn't be the ideal situation, but a much better option than enlisting just b/c he can't find work nearby...

Lots of ::HUGS:: to you guys!

With a Master's degree he would be able to bargain to a certain extent but I wouldn't count on him not being deployed..it's pretty much a given these days no matter what.

That said...I know it's a scary thought..we got word last month that we're looking at our THIRD deployment late next year..BUT..the benefits and the money are really good especially right now. We pay nothing in medical costs..NOTHING...tricare can be a pain, but it's worth it. With a master's degree he would be able to do something called a Green to Gold program..not sure of the details but I've heard DH talk about it to other people interested in signing up. Officers make pretty good money...we live comfortably on just DH's income.

It's a big decision..and I would discuss the pros and cons THOROUGHLY...military is a lifestyle..not just a job.

Well, I am not a military wife, but I am in. Mines a bit different though as I have spent years as full-time Air Guard. He can join as an officer with a masters, it is better pay. I really don't see how that would stop him from being deployed though, officers still deploy. Certain jobs are non-deployable, if thats something you are interesting in, I would talk to the recruiter about non-deployable jobs. And, I don't know, I have never heard of getting it in your contract to open be stationed in certain areas. There is something called a wish list that you can put in where you would like to be stationed and often it happens (if they need that job where you want to be). I would talk to more than just the Army recruiters though, I am obviously a bit partial to the Air Force, but I think if he is interested in joining, its best to talk to all of them. Also if you have a local Air Guard or Army Guard unit, check into openings they have for full-time (sometimes they allow civilians to apply if they are eligable to enlist), its really a fantastic job to be full-time Guard. Most of the benefits of active duty, but you get to stay in 1 base/post and not move around. Good luck!

lovely1m said:

Well, I am not a military wife, but I am in. Mines a bit different though as I have spent years as full-time Air Guard. He can join as an officer with a masters, it is better pay. I really don't see how that would stop him from being deployed though, officers still deploy. Certain jobs are non-deployable, if thats something you are interesting in, I would talk to the recruiter about non-deployable jobs. And, I don't know, I have never heard of getting it in your contract to open be stationed in certain areas. There is something called a wish list that you can put in where you would like to be stationed and often it happens (if they need that job where you want to be). I would talk to more than just the Army recruiters though, I am obviously a bit partial to the Air Force, but I think if he is interested in joining, its best to talk to all of them. Also if you have a local Air Guard or Army Guard unit, check into openings they have for full-time (sometimes they allow civilians to apply if they are eligable to enlist), its really a fantastic job to be full-time Guard. Most of the benefits of active duty, but you get to stay in 1 base/post and not move around. Good luck!

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I agree check with the guard first...DH is active duty army guard (ARG) and it's his full time job...so unlike regular army we don't get transferred or move nearly as much..in 8 years of marriage we've moved 2 times and it's always within our state. I will say though...at least in MS those ARG positions are hard to come by and are filled quickly.

I'm the wife of a Reservist...

and the daughter of an Air Force officer.

Building on some of the other comments, it's possible to find a military job that wouldn't require a deployment. HOWEVER, it is not a good idea for your DH to go into the military with the mindset of never deploying. With the military involved in two wars, any new enlisted or commissioned officer will not get a warm welcome if he joins up with that attitude. I'm not saying he or you are wrong in wanting to avoid a deployment, just that military culture expects the serviceman and family to be flexible about transfers.

Deployments don't always mean a combat situation although they will mean a separation from the family. They can lead to promotions or opportunities for interesting assignments, plus all income during deployment to a combat zone is considered non-taxable.

Your DH should look at all the military branches, not just the Army. Although it's unlikely that he could get a contract that says he'd only be assigned to bases or posts in certain states, some branches just don't have facilities in every state. For instance, the Upper Midwest only has 1 Navy base and a few Air Force bases.

Finally, a master's degree will open a lot of doors for your DH but good assignments can be based on other things, like work experience. Definitely he should be looking for opportunities for a commisioned officer but openings may be limited, especially if your DH confines his search to only a few states.

Hope that gives you some ideas. You can e-mail me if you want more information.

Melissa

The master's degree will not prevent deployment at all. Also if they Army/Military wants you to move you will. So is he only set on the Army? The Air Force is a great service for not as many deployments and is (to me) more family oriented. My hubby has been 17 years Air Force and I gotta say it has been a great life for us and only 1 deployment (so far). We have had our share of moves but a couple of those were my DH volunteering for assignments. It is also a good secure job in a time when things are still so unsure with the economy and employment. Oh ya, the Air Guard also has a lot of full time jobs too and that could be an option.

I was going to suggest the Air Force as well. My daughter was (and still kinda is) thinking about the Air Force and she told me that deployments for the Air Force are much less frequent. Also I could be wrong but being deployed does not always equal going to a war zone right? (I was an Air Force kid but I was so young when my dad got out I dont remember much about it)

Active-duty Army wife here...

First I'll say ditto to what Nikki said. If this is something you guys are serious about doing, you absolutely need to be on board 100%. It's cheesy to say but it really is a lifestyle and it's a lifestyle that will completely affect your life too. The job security, healthcare, pay are all pretty good, especially as an officer. Yes they can be gone a lot but I personally think the positives outweigh the negatives and I still believe that 5 months into our 2nd deployment.

Second, I think your DH's friend may be giving him advice based on outdated information. The Army is nowhere near as desperate for people as they were at one time. They had been offering a bonus to entice Captain's to agree to three more years Active Duty, but that ended last November. He may have been thinking about the bonus though because one of the options was that you got to have your pick of locations, to the point where you could say "I will only go here or else" and they had to make it happen.

As far as the Master's degree being a bargaining chip...unless he has a specialized medical, law or religious degree, I'm not sure it gives you any more advantage than a Bachelor's degree in terms of becoming an officer. He'd go to Officer Candidate School and then he'd come in as an O-1 and receive O-1 level pay. Promotions for O-1 to O-3 (Captain) are based on time in service so it wouldn't factor in there either. As far as I know, they don't pay extra specifically for a Master's degree unless it's something really specialized (like say Physical Therapy).

But I believe that in order to be promoted to Major and/or above, you do need a Master's degree. It might depend on what line of work you go into, but I know my DH has already been told that he'll need to start thinking about a Master's degree if he wants to eventually make Major (assuming we stay in past our 8 yr commitment, haha). So he might have a bit of an edge at that point if his degree is something they're interested in in his line of work, but I'm not sure how much it would help him now. But coming in as an Officer is definitely a HUGE perk over coming in enlisted.

I've never heard of anyone not being deployed because of having a Master's degree. Yes some jobs may deploy less often but the reality is he would deploy at some point. But there are "safer" jobs you can do and there are non-deployable positions available depending on your line of work. But I think they try to give priority for those positions to people who've already deployed more than once. The only way I knew of to avoid deployment was to hide out in Korea but they changed the rules for staying there after they found out some people had been hiding out there for 8+ years.

And I'm going to end it here because I can tell I've already written a novel. But really, if you have any more questions, thoughts, concerns, whatever, please feel free to just let me know. I definitely know how confusing and overwhelming it can be.

Army Wife here

I agree, it is a complete lifestyle. Once he signs up, he is committed to his contract. There is no 2 weeks notice or 30 day trial period. LOL The benefits are awesome, but you and you DH need to sit down and discuss the situation. My DH is the re-enlistment NCO for his unit and I asked him about your situation. He told me the best advise you can receive is talking to the recruiter. The recruiter will be able to go over ALL available options. And no one is exempt from deployment.

I must admit, it took me a little over a year to get adjusted to Army life. But then I realized, I am not alone. Everyone is in the same situation. DH has been in for 8 years, we have been married for 5 of them. I have moved 3 times since 2004. But, without the Army, I wouldn't have seen the places I've been. Right now we are stationed in beautiful Hawaii. Tricare is great, as well as the use of the Commissary and PX.

I can't tell you much about how officers do things, but I can tell you what I know as an NCO's(non commissioned officer) wife. I echo my DH advice to talking to a recruiter as they would be able to fully answer his questions and let him know which MOS (Military Occupation Specialty) is open for him. If you have any concerns about Army Wife lifestyle, you can always buzz me, and I'd be happy to help in any way possible!!!!!

Good luck on your & DH's decision!

L: I'm not an Army wife, but DH is former Army and a contractor and I live at Fort Hood, the largest military installation in the United States. ALL of my friends here are married to Army men. They have the security right now that they will have jobs regardless of the economy...something DH doesn't have. They have housing benefits and medical insurance without question. Those are all great benefits in my book!!

On the other hand, I learned a long time ago that each of the ladies that come into my life WILL leave me at some point. They may be here 2 years, maybe even 5, but at some point, they will be PCSing to another duty station. All of my friends has survived at least one, if not two or three, deployments in the past 7 years. I sat and cried and tried to offer support to a friend yesterday who is facing a year long deployment with a seven year old and a 17 month old. She will be mom and dad for a year while her DH is gone. She's scared! She's sad!

It's a HUGE decision and one I think that both of you have to be fully committed to should you decide to do it. Hugs to you! What a big decision and scary time for you!

DH is out of town but I talked to him last night before I went to bed and asked him a little about what you could expect..he said with a Master's degree he would probably go in as an E4 which is a specialist and the pay isn't top rate at that point...then he would go through Basic and AIT and then he would have to apply for and go through OCS (Officer's Candidate School)...depending on what your DH's degree is in would factor into job choices once all that is done, but like others have said in this thread...going in with the attitude of not being deployed isn't really what the army is looking for...it will happen..that's just the world we live in today. All deployments are different...DH was in Afghanistan for a year and then in Washington DC for a year..next year we're looking at Iraq..not happy about it but it's our life.

Like Lynette said..the army isn't as desperate for recruits as they were a few years ago..DH said that the MSARNG met and exceeded their goals for recruits last year.

It's not for everyone, and once he's in he's in..no changing your mind if it's not what you expected kwim? You also have to be positive you can handle it..once you're an army wife you spend a LOT of time on your own.

But as much as I hate it sometimes, I love it even more...nothing makes me more proud than to be able to tell people my husband serves his country.

Thanks for all the advice, ladies! I've been passing along bits 'n' pieces to DH as applicable.

DH doesn't want to move more than 2 hours away because of his son living here. Evidently, going away to pursue his PhD and/or enlisting is different because those things are 'temporary' whereas taking a FT job more than an hour away is 'permanent.' I see his point, but don't necessarily agree temporary v. permanent. I pointed out that living within 2-3 hours of Indy as a civilian would make it possible to see his son much more often than being deployed for 12-18 months as a soldier, but he still thinks it's different.

I know that part of my frustration is that he is rather adamant abt not living in my hometown because it is 2 1/2 hours away, rather than 2, and the 1/2 hour is a dealbreaker for him. Since having the baby, I really really miss my mom and would love to see/spend time with her every week. With my dad's promotion, my mom spends more than half her free time alone, and it just breaks my heart to have to leave after a visit and know she is just sitting around at home waiting to see us again.

Oh, and when I told him abt the Air Force, he said he was too old. I guess he read somewhere you have to be commissioned by your 34th/35th bday, and he'll be 34 in June.

Anyway, thanks again. You've given me (us) a lot to think abt as I knew you would. I really appreciate it.

I don't know about officers, but when I joined you could not enlist if you were over 32, so yeah, he might be too old. Doesn't hurt to give a recruiter a call though.