New mom/first baby advice.. help me!!

kscwgirl

kscwgirl

New member
My cousin's baby shower is sunday. (yes I am a huge procastinator!) I'm making her a little album of new mom/first baby advice. (no, i haven't started it. :blink:)

So!! What is the one BEST piece of advice you got, or the one thing you wish someone would have told you??

HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. :)
 
Well, I'm not sure that this is "advice" or not... but I wish someone would have been there to tell me what it was REALLY like. When I started having "OMG, this is hard work and I feel so overwhelmed" feelings after I had Wes I felt almost embarrassed/ashamed because everyone told me how wonderful it was and such an amazing experience, yadda, yadda.

And YES, it was amazing and wonderful, but also HARD and overwhelming at times. I wish someone would have told me that so I would have known that I was feeling NORMAL, and not the opposite.

My two pieces of advice:
- Take any/all help offered to you.
- Enjoy every single moment. Who cares if the laundry piles up for a couple of days? They really DO grow up in the blink of an eye... and although I will NEVER remember having empty clothes baskets/impeccably clean house, I will ALWAYS remember those precious moment spent with my little one.
 
My advice... that I wished I followed...

1. Just enjoy... all children grown/develop at their own rate. Don't compare your child to another, just enjoy learning about your little one.

2. Listen to advice from others, but make your own decisions in what you feel is right. You do have mother's intuition and know what is best for your child.
 
You don't have to hold your baby every minute of every day. Once my son was past his newborn stage, he got fussy a LOT. I finally put him down on a blanket one day and he loved it. It saves my back a lot too! ;)

Also, knowing what works for other moms is really good because you have a lot of ideas to pull from. However, "Momma knows best" is sooo true. You spend the most time with your LO and somehow learn how he is communicating with you, and no one else will be able to pick up those signs besides you. Every baby and every momma is different. Knowing what works for others helps you when you are out of ideas though.
 
i wish someone had told me to not ever give my children a choice about food. They should just eat what I put in front of them.

feel free to phrase that in a nicer way ha ha.

also, children need to be fed many times a day. :glare: it would be good to know how to cook. And to have food in the house at all times.
 
meems said:
i wish someone had told me to not ever give my children a choice about food. They should just eat what I put in front of them.

feel free to phrase that in a nicer way ha ha.

also, children need to be fed many times a day. :glare: it would be good to know how to cook. And to have food in the house at all times.
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Oh how I have missed you, Mimi. :wub:
 
I agree with Mimi!

Also, teach them respect young. Make them say yes mommy, yes daddy (or sir and ma'am) as soon as they're old enough to instill manners.

Don't expect them to grow at the rate you think they should, I always wanted my kids to "just learn" something without realizing that they were waaaay too young.

Don't let a stubborn baby cry it out! It just creates emotional distress for everyone involved.

Do what YOU feel is right, don't listen to other people tell you you're doing it wrong. God gave YOU that baby, not them, knowing full well how you'd raise it.
 
Traci Reed said:
Also, teach them respect young. Make them say yes mommy, yes daddy (or sir and ma'am) as soon as they're old enough to instill manners.
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Amen to that! If you model using please and thank you around them from the time they are babies, it is like second nature to them.
 
write things down!

My kids said so many cute things or did so many cute things that we all tease about, etc. but I have no idea when or what the circumstances were that manifested those now family jokes.

For example: I always spelled B.A.T.H. out instead of saying it. Well, eventually my DD learned the cause and effect of that spelled word and she started asking for a B.T.H. My Dad ALWAYS teases and says "I'm going to take my B.T.H." when he heads for a shower at night. I just wish I could remember her age when it happened, etc. I don't know the specifics and that bothers me.

Cherish every single moment. Oh goodness, if I could have my children all over again with the knowledge, experiences and longing I have for them today, they would be sooo spoiled and I would be like a total OCD Mom showering them with every minute of my time. I had a very hard 8 or 9 years after I became pregnant with my first child and so many times, my life was more about the problems that I was facing at the time than the blessings. Find the blessing in every moment. Children are a miracle.
 
Hmm, I would say to really work on good sleeping habits from a young age. They need lots and lots of sleep. As they grow, it's so very important. During the long, deep sleep is when their long-term memory (all the stuff they are learning) really sinks and soaks into their little minds. Plus, when a child is wellested, s/he is soooo much more pleasant to be around for everyone.
 
Traci Reed said:
Don't let a stubborn baby cry it out! It just creates emotional distress for everyone involved.
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AMEN to that.

I have to add...sleep when the baby sleeps. If someone wants to throw a fit because you have a new baby and your house isn't clean or your dishes aren't done...eff em. I'm sorry.

Don't play the comparison game. Every baby is different, you'll kill yourself trying to "Keep up with the Joneses."
 
Go with your gut. It's call mommy insticts for a reason.

Call your peditrican when you have a question - they are very helpful even if it is just for calming the nerves.

Enjoy this time. They grow up so fast.

Don't stress. It is hard with the first, but really- you'll do just fine!
 
Life will feel normal again.

For the first 6 months BE THE COUCH. You and your baby will be sooo much happier if you don't try and be a million other things.
 
stayawake said:
For the first 6 months BE THE COUCH.
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Oh God! That's my life right now! lol! (All my 4 month old wants to do is eat eat eat! So I feel like I'm constantly sitting down feeding her!)


I'll repeat the advice of cherish every moment. It really does go by so fast and everytime I look at my 4 year old I can't believe how quickly he grew up. It actually makes me feel really sad that he grew up so fast and I'm always wishing I had taken a million more photos & hours of video of him through the years (even though I have a ton already). I've used that advice for myself for this 2nd baby.
 
It is OK for you to make mistakes. It is OK for your child to make mistakes. It is OK to admit to your child that you made a mistake.

(well i think so anyway)
 
1. never wake a sleeping baby!!! when they are hungry, they will let you know....

2. if you choose to breastfeed and it doesn't work out, you are NOT a bad mom and no child has ever died from drinking forumla :)

3. try to journal as much as possible...even if you don't get it in their baby book, write it on a piece of random with the date! {I have these still in my DD's book and she is 16}

4. sleep when they sleep!!! it will help you keep your sanity and the dishes,laundry, housekeeping will all still be there when you wake up!

5. always have your camera ready :) and snap snap snap!!!

6. baby clothes do NOT need to be washed in baby detergent ;)

7. do not feel bad if they sleep with you until they are 2 ;) or 3 or 4 :)
 
1. Don't be afraid to ask for help.

2. Let someone else worry about meals for the first couple of weeks. Your life will be so much easier if you don't stress about what the rest of the family will be eating.

3. Swaddle. The miracle blanket really works miracles.

4. Trust yourself.

5. Make nice with the receptionist at the peds office.

:) I love this idea!!! Wish I'd had a book of advice the first time (or the 2nd, lol!)
 
I'd love to answer this question, but my 2 1/2 mo baby is crying. :p

Back later with some straight from the trenches baby troof!
 
The books lie, and the experts don't know your child. Don't expect everything (especially sleeping through the night) to happen when the books say it "should."

Parenting is so much harder than you think it's going to be, and you're going to need fellow new parents for support, commisseration, and company on days when changing yourself into spit-up-free clothing is just too much to contemplate. If you don't already have friends who are new moms, try to find a local (or online) group to join. Sometimes hospitals offer them, there's a national MOM's Club with local chapters, or you can even sign up for baby classes at a place like Gymboree or a rec center.

Breathe. Relax. Love your child, feed him, talk to him and listen when he talks, get medical attention when he needs it, set limits, and all will be well. The decisions that seem so monumental now, like whether to nurse or formula feed and exactly what those limits should be, will not affect the big picture nearly as much as we convince ourselves they will.

Take time to just enjoy your baby.

If you choose to nurse, try to stick with it for at least a couple of months. It gets much easier after about 6-8 weeks, when you've made it through the learning curve and your baby has lengthened out between feedings. I've nursed 3 kids for a little over a year each (well, still working toward that with my 10 month old), and every time I curse nursing for the first 2 months. By the time we get to 4-6 months, I love it!
 
I don't think women get enough help in the b/f department. Mine is, feed on demand, don't expect your newborn to eat every 3 hours on the dot. You will both be happier if you feed whenever the baby is hungry and for as long as necessary even if that mean you feed the baby once 45 minutes later and the next time 4 hours later, the first time for 15 minutes and the second time for 45 minutes. They will give you the ques and you will learn them. Also if your nipples crack, breastmilk will heal them super fast. Just rub a bit on. It really shows you how amazing breastmilk is when you do this and see them heal in less than a day.

Also, don't get caught up in what should happen and when it should happen. If you just relax and enjoy your baby, they will learn what they need to when they are ready. It makes it much less stressful on you both if you allow them to develop at their own pace. Go with the flow.

HTH!
 
Okay, so here goes. :p

(01) Babies are pretty much a cute-faced blob for the first 2 months, and it's okay to think so.

(02) Because of said blobness, you will think that you made a big mistake having a baby and seriously wonder if there is a drop off station somewhere down the road. You might even plan what outfit you will send Baby away in to make sure they realize you were a caring mother before the drop off. These thoughts will most often occur between 2 and 4 am.

(03) Because of said thoughts, make sure to get out of the house by yourself even if this means sitting in your car with your Ipod listening to Miley Cyrus' 'Party In The USA' on repeat.

(04) You will come to a day when you cannot possibly change one more diaper, listen to one more crying jag, or get up one more time in the night for a feeding or you will lose your mind. The next day, you will change one more diaper, listen to one more crying jag, and get up one more time in the night for a feeding. The next next day, your baby will smile at you for the very first time, and you'd be willing to change a million more dollars, listen to a million more crying jags, and get up a million more times in the night for a feeding for that next smile.

(05) Babies turn into little people at 3 months, and all the horribleness of the first 2 months will melt away as you watch this miracle of life grow and change right before your eyes.
 
i have to say, as a new mum myself, there is some REALLY good advice in this thread.

Heres my 2cents worth.

Someone once told me that all little babies have one bad feed per day, and one bad day per week. So if your in the middle of one of those "bad days" just remember that tomorrow will be better. (i have found this to be so very true!)

Call someone if it gets too much. Or put the baby down in his/her cot and walk away til your calm again. Nothing will get solved if both of you continue to get worked up.

Breastfeeding is going to hurt. Its going to hurt pretty darn bad. Your nipples will probably crack and bleed. But persevere if its important to you. The first few weeks are awful and then one day it will all just click and fall into place and you'll be glad you persevered. That being said, there is no shame in formula feeding. You arent a failure. You just need to do whatever you feel is right for YOU! happy momma=happy baby.

SWADDLE! oh my, whomever said the miracle wrap really is a miracle is so totally right. Im yet to see a baby swaddled in a miracle wrap that doesnt sleep well. My lil guy has been swaddled since day one and he sleeps like an angel. never once have i ever walked the halls at 3am trying to get him to settle.

hope that helps. great idea
 
LeeAndra said:
(04) You will come to a day when you cannot possibly change one more diaper, listen to one more crying jag, or get up one more time in the night for a feeding or you will lose your mind. The next day, you will change one more diaper, listen to one more crying jag, and get up one more time in the night for a feeding. The next next day, your baby will smile at you for the very first time, and you'd be willing to change a million more dollars, listen to a million more crying jags, and get up a million more times in the night for a feeding for that next smile.

(05) Babies turn into little people at 3 months, and all the horribleness of the first 2 months will melt away as you watch this miracle of life grow and change right before your eyes.
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Yeah! I'm glad you made it through those first few months and things are better now.
 
LeeAndra said:
(02) Because of said blobness, you will think that you made a big mistake having a baby and seriously wonder if there is a drop off station somewhere down the road. You might even plan what outfit you will send Baby away in to make sure they realize you were a caring mother before the drop off. These thoughts will most often occur between 2 and 4 am.
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The first time my 2nd baby slept through the night, I talked myself out of going to check on him even though I just KNEW he was dead by telling myself there was nothing I could do about it anyway so I might as well get some sleep before I deal with the dead baby.

Ain't sleep deprivation grand?
 
Oh, one more thing about breastfeeding, if she does it -- babies go through these horrible growth spurts where they will want to feed constantly and any feeding schedule you might think you had established goes right out the window. The spurts are around 3 weeks, 6 weeks, 3 months, 6 months. (There may be others interspersed, but these are the major ones.) So if your baby starts acting totally weird and just wants to be on the b**b all day, just let him/her. She will be back to normal in a couple of days.
 
One night, when I was especially tired and was up feeding the baby I just knew that I didn't have it in me to rock him to sleep. He was happy and well-fed, so I figured I could catch a few z's until he woke me up because he needed to go to sleep. I woke up a few hours later and discovered that at least in the middle of the night he could go to sleep on his own. He still fights it like mad during the day, but that middle of the night one is a lifesaver!

And LA was right...just wait for the smile. No matter how tired you are, or no matter how much you don't want to stop in the middle of whatever you are doing, the instant that baby smiles it is all worth it and you wonder why you can't snuggle and play with your baby more!
 
kresta said:
Oh, one more thing about breastfeeding, if she does it -- babies go through these horrible growth spurts where they will want to feed constantly and any feeding schedule you might think you had established goes right out the window. The spurts are around 3 weeks, 6 weeks, 3 months, 6 months. (There may be others interspersed, but these are the major ones.) So if your baby starts acting totally weird and just wants to be on the b**b all day, just let him/her. She will be back to normal in a couple of days.
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Oh yes!! I was just coming to post this! The first time Ava did that I thought I must not be producing enough milk because she was hungry ALL day, and only nursed about 5 minutes at a time, and at least every 15-30 minutes. It was a long hard day. I found out by reading "What to Expect The First Year" that it was called "Cluster Feeding" and perfectly normal. But I had NO idea to expect it, so I was very, very worried for 2 days!
 
scrapperjade said:
Oh yes!! I was just coming to post this! The first time Ava did that I thought I must not be producing enough milk because she was hungry ALL day, and only nursed about 5 minutes at a time, and at least every 15-30 minutes. It was a long hard day. I found out by reading "What to Expect The First Year" that it was called "Cluster Feeding" and perfectly normal. But I had NO idea to expect it, so I was very, very worried for 2 days!
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Yes! And those are often the times women quit b/f because they think they aren't producing enough. Great thing to know before hand.
 
lovely1m said:
Yes! And those are often the times women quit b/f because they think they aren't producing enough. Great thing to know before hand.
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Exactly why I came back to write it! :) I've had friends call me during these growth spurts (I'm kinda the resident breast-feeding mom w/ the advice or something - LOL!) and wonder what the heck is going on. It's so helpful to know this ahead of time.
 
1. Slings are your friend they give you both hands back.
2. If your baby is feeding and the phone/doorbell rings let it they can always call or come back later.
3. Take the time to just do nothing with your baby but watch them sleep, it reminds you exactly why you have them.
4. Babies grow fast! That super adorable outfit that was bought for them that you think will never fit them because it looks huge, honestly won't take long for them to grow into, so don't put everything in a cupboard or wardrobe and then forget you have them.
5. Be prepared to sort out clothes frequently maybe once or twice a month so you don't end up with a years worth of clothes taking up space and taking you all day to sort out.
6. A smile makes it all worth it.
7. You are entitled to a break, sometimes you just need to hand them off to someone else and go and do something for you.
8. Kids don't get better or worse as they get older they get different. Every age has it's own fun bits and not so fun bits.
9. Sometimes when a baby is crying it's because they want 5 minutes of peace from being touched or cuddled or fed. So if all else fails just put them down and walk away for a few minutes.
10. Gadgets are great but test them out before you buy them by borrowing one if possible. What one child loves another might hate.
11. Shop for baby clothes with a budget it's easy to get carried away with the cuteness of all the outfits.
12. Never be afraid to try things with your baby because you are worried about what people will think.
13. It's never too early to take a walk to the park.
14. Babies can sleep anywhere, they just often choose not too.
15. Screw what other people think, it's your baby. You can dress it, feed it, play with it, change it or anything else with it anyway you like
16. There will be things you regret it's inevitable, just try not to dwell on it.
17. No matter what they say, no matter what they do or how they behave your kids love you even when they say they don't.
18. There is no right answer except what's right for you.
19. Make sure you can fold the pushchair while holding the baby or list the carseat with the baby in it, there will come a point where even if you don't plan to you will end up doing it.
20. Enjoy it, you have the best job in the whole world.

Sorry that was a bit longer than I was thinking I guess I just typed everything I thought of while Logan was busy sleeping on my arm as I typed lol. Hugs Crystal xx
 
i love this thread! i find it very comforting and now i want to make a book for myself with all this advice (even though I have 3 babies myself....) :)
 
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