To Homeschooling Moms

Hi Ladies,

My DD has been in a great magnet school for 5 years. Next year we have to move and the two options are not so hot.... or at least they appear that way to me.

What made you decide to homeschool? I am worried that I am not going to be a good teacher to DD. How do you know that they have finished a grade? How do you stay focused... when I am home I have ADD... I never seem to get things done.

My DH is not a fan of homeschooling. He thinks that they won't be socialized... an excuse that I don't see any real evidence of... we attend and are very active in Church, and DD rides horses at a barn with a ton of other kids.

I don't know where to start. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks,
Alison

Well, first, if DH isn't on board you may find it hard to get through the other issues you mentioned. My DH encourages me to keep going and reminds me why we are doing this. And there's been times that I wanted to quit. I hit a wall at week 9 and was ready to put them on the school bus. I wouldn't have gotten through without him and a dear friend who also homeschools.

I decided to homeschool for a few reasons. DH travels. A LOT! But he does get to work from home when he is home. So we thought it would be good to have us all together when he is home rather than running kids off to school. Also, we can travel with him if we like. We have the flexability of taking vacations whenever we want and don't have to worry about the school calendar.

We also had some issues at the school. My DD desperately needed an accelerated program but the class structure wouldn't allow for it. I didn't like the reading program at the school and was really concerned about DS because he wasn't catching on.

I always thought that I wouldn't be able to stay focused. But I found that isn't the case. I put my all into it and I'm seeing the academic results with my children that I hoped for.

One way you can know if they finished a grade is by giving them placement tests for the curriculum. Many programs (especially math) have them online for free so you can purchase the correct level for your child to work with.

I have opinions on the socialization aspect. The truth is that I wasn't happy with the socialization they were receiving in public school. It didn't fit our family values and I found that I was often resocializing when they got home. I could go on and on about this. I know that my DD misses her school friends. And I do feel bad about that. But I set-up times for her to see them outside school hours. Despite that she will say that she prefers homeschool because she can work at her own pace and doesn't have to wait for the class. Overall my children seem pretty content with the change!

Well I have a lot I can say on this matter...since my kids were public schooled up until a couple of years ago...but I'm starting to feel sick...and we have Robotic Competition the end of the week so I am heading off to bed...in hopes of being well!

...but I could not help but comment on the "socialization issue"...oh yes you can be isolated if you WISH...but check out to see if there is a local group in your area...we belong to a local group and there are SOOOOOOOOOOO many things to do with other homeschoolers that there is no way you can do it all. Now we don't go that overboard and do it all or even try...but that is just a statement to let you know that this "unsocialized homeschoolers" is nothing but a MYTH...a plain old MYTH. Just like a mother that stays home "isn't a working mom". You get my drift...

My kids are MORE socialized NOW than they have ever been in their entire lives!!! Even more than my 20yo that was totally public schooled. They do more with kids their age, as well as younger and older, than they ever did when they were in public school. In fact tonight we went to "Make KC" (a branch of the Make Magazine...local chapter) where they were in a room with a bunch of adults, and a few homeschooled teenagers...and my gosh I was TOTALLY and I mean TOTALLY impressed with the conversations going on there about technical projects!! ...these kids were giving the adults ideas on how to solve their (the adult's) problems dealing with solar energy, etc. ...after the meeting the teens all congregated outside the store and were chatting up big time (they didn't even KNOW each other) about robotics, computers, and such...kinda cracked me up when I came home and read this message.

We are on a homeschool robotics team which competes from September through at least February every year...in which we travel for part of it and they meet thousands of kids that they compete against, swap electronic tips, video game chats, and more. In fact there is so much there, we don't even have time to do all the robotics the kids would like to do! ...and we found out about another type tonight!

We are on a homeschool bowling league ... there are homeschool skating times, field trips, co-ops, Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts ... and tons of other things to do with many other children!! ...and the nice thing is... absolutely 0% bullying goes on, no peer pressure, no piercings, tattoos, swearing, "acceptance of differences" between kids is amazing ... the environment I wanted for my children...they are thriving in!

...and oh my gosh what my children are learning!!! Hmmm can you tell I am loving this?! Yes it can be challenging...I have 2 kids with special needs... but they are thriving here at home, learning and retaining SO MUCH more, and we are a lot closer as a family now.

Sharon, When you are feeling better, I need to talk to you about this!!! I was just this Thanksgiving break thinking that I need to do something differently for my DS. We have wonderful schools in town, but the public school environment is just not a good fit for my DS. He was home for most of November due to illness/holiday and was really productive, engaging and calm---it made me realize that I need to do something. Thank you!

Sharon Kay said:

We are on a homeschool bowling league ... there are homeschool skating times, field trips, co-ops, Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts ... and tons of other things to do with many other children!! ...and the nice thing is... absolutely 0% bullying goes on, no peer pressure, no piercings, tattoos, swearing, "acceptance of differences" between kids is amazing ... the environment I wanted for my children...they are thriving in!

...and oh my gosh what my children are learning!!! Hmmm can you tell I am loving this?! Yes it can be challenging...I have 2 kids with special needs... but they are thriving here at home, learning and retaining SO MUCH more, and we are a lot closer as a family now.

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:thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup:
I agree with all of this 100%!

I always have to chuckle at the socialization thing because people assume if you homeschool, you NEVER get out into the world. I like to think that in some ways, my kids are a little better socialized because it's with a wider variety of ages and backgrounds than just their peers.

I agree with Jannylynn, if your husband isn't behind this, I'd look at doing more enrichment after school than I would think about pulling out completely. There really needs to be a united front where parents are concerned. It's important that both parents work with their kids when possible, than having a parent being standoffish about the entire thing.

But the first two things I always suggest is find a local homeschooling group, and talk to those in your area. Visit www.hslda.org to find the homeschooling laws in your state. Then visit the schools that you're looking into attending. If you can show up to a PTA meeting..you'll have a bunch of parents around whom you can talk with that will be pretty open about the school.

Thanks so much for all your input.

I am at a point where I am gathering information. My DH is concerned about her future schools, but is not familiar with any families that have children over 2nd grade being Homeschooled. My DD is very bright and honestly I don't worry about the education she might get, but in the local news several local 'middle' schools (6, 7 and 8th grades) are having issues with drugs, alcohol, and pregnancy. This scares me buggy. I know that she is going to have to face these issues eventually, but so early? It is really the social aspects of schools that has me concerned.

That and some of the curriculum doesn't represent our values. So we re-teach on those issues at home.

I think I will hunt down a homeschooling group in our area, and I will definitely visit the PTAs of the potential middle schools. Thanks for all your advice and help.

I also hope that I didn't offend anyone with the socialization issue. I am grateful for your input because it will definitely help when we I discuss it with DH.

And I gotta tell ya... Sharon Kay's comments below were real exciting to me.
"We are on a homeschool bowling league ... there are homeschool skating times, field trips, co-ops, Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts ... and tons of other things to do with many other children!! ...and the nice thing is... absolutely 0% bullying goes on, no peer pressure, no piercings, tattoos, swearing, "acceptance of differences" between kids is amazing ... the environment I wanted for my children...they are thriving in! "


YOu ladies Rock,
Thanks,
ALison

CA Dreamer said:

Sharon, When you are feeling better, I need to talk to you about this!!! I was just this Thanksgiving break thinking that I need to do something differently for my DS. We have wonderful schools in town, but the public school environment is just not a good fit for my DS. He was home for most of November due to illness/holiday and was really productive, engaging and calm---it made me realize that I need to do something. Thank you!

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Sending you a PM ... and ***ANYONE*** who want so talk to me about this ... please feel free to PM me.

oohlala said:

Thanks so much for all your input.

I am at a point where I am gathering information. My DH is concerned about her future schools, but is not familiar with any families that have children over 2nd grade being Homeschooled. My DD is very bright and honestly I don't worry about the education she might get, but in the local news several local 'middle' schools (6, 7 and 8th grades) are having issues with drugs, alcohol, and pregnancy. This scares me buggy. I know that she is going to have to face these issues eventually, but so early? It is really the social aspects of schools that has me concerned.

That and some of the curriculum doesn't represent our values. So we re-teach on those issues at home.

I think I will hunt down a homeschooling group in our area, and I will definitely visit the PTAs of the potential middle schools. Thanks for all your advice and help.

I also hope that I didn't offend anyone with the socialization issue. I am grateful for your input because it will definitely help when we I discuss it with DH.

And I gotta tell ya... Sharon Kay's comments below were real exciting to me.
"We are on a homeschool bowling league ... there are homeschool skating times, field trips, co-ops, Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts ... and tons of other things to do with many other children!! ...and the nice thing is... absolutely 0% bullying goes on, no peer pressure, no piercings, tattoos, swearing, "acceptance of differences" between kids is amazing ... the environment I wanted for my children...they are thriving in! "


YOu ladies Rock,
Thanks,
ALison

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You are welcome ... and to tell the truth when I decided to homeschool ... I was a bit concerned (and even more so my dh) about the socialization because I had always heard that "myth"... well it was actually a homeschooled teenager that I met at a robotics competition when my oldest (in public school in high school was competing) ... that convinced me that not only could I homeschool successfully ... but that the kids would be more involved in things in the community and with so many other kids ... than they currently were at the time.

...and as a note ... we joined that teenager's homeschool robotic team ... and during the robotics season we spend over 17 hours per week working on the robotics team with up to 24 other children from 6th through 12th grade ... all those ages working on a team together!! ...and they are also exposed to the parent mentors with different educational/business backgrounds as well. ...I have NO WORRIES that my children are under-socialized ... lol looking back...by comparison they were under-socialized in public school.

Ok,someone should be the other side, (*I would never "shun" anyone for the choices they make...this is just what I think...don't hate me I think you should only homeschool if you are a certified teacher or live somewhere it is impossible to attend school... I think women who are staying at home "teaching" their kids math with gummie bears are wrong. I think people who think this is wrong (sorry Alison, I just copied and pasted)
"absolutely 0% bullying goes on, no peer pressure, no piercings, tattoos, swearing, "acceptance of differences" between kids is amazing ... the environment I wanted for my children...they are thriving in! "
this is part of who we are, dealing with these issues as children help as adults...how are they going to deal with an adult who is "bullying" when they never learned how to as a child.
Now I know Im going to get a lot of you telling me Im wrong...Im open for it...change my mind

I wasn't bullied as a child but I still know how to deal with them! As an adult, I nor my husband have been in a situation where a true adult has been a bully. When I see it happen I see it as an adult being a child and that makes it pretty easy to deal with it.

Adults tend to be more passive agressive when it comes to conflict. And I don't think experiencing being bullied as a child nessarily equips our children to deal with it into adulthood. In fact they may have to spend many years making peace over the fact that they were never accepted by their peers at school and having to always pretend to be someone that they really aren't. I personally think it is sad to put a child in a bullying (or any negative social situation) situation just so that they can learn from it to cope with future bullies. I don't think any child should ever have to endure that. But my kids still have each other, friends and neighbor kids to have conflict with so I'm sure that they will adjust just fine when they are adults.

As far as gummy bears for counting, well that is suitable for my 4 year old! And my 7 year old would tell me that's for babies but eat the gummy bears. However, my 9 year old just finished a unit on pre-algebra and after that geometry, so I think we can go beyond the counters in math! I didn't really feel that the "certified" teachers were giving my children a proper education and changing the school system was nearly impossible. The school wasn't teaching my DS7 how to read because of the program they had in place! I was able to do in a couple months what teachers couldn't do in an entire year. I give my children curriculum that is suitable for their academic level and I make sure that they fully grasp it before we move on. I'm not really certain what more is needed.

There are some excellent public schools and teachers in the public school systems. And I think they have a very difficult job these days with all the discipline issues that come up with kids. I don't want to come off as anti-school. I'm not and I will be open to sending my kids if they ask to go back. This really works for my family and I know that it has worked for many families. I think if you knew some homeschooled children that have made it through college you might change your mind. You probably wouldn't even be able to pinpoint them as being homeschooled.

We've been thinking, considering and praying hard about homeschooling our daughters. My dh seems to worry a lot on the socialization aspect, so hearing about the experiences of those of you that do homeschool is definitely reassuring.

Full disclosure: I was never homeschooled and I have never homeschooled. That being said, as of today I would really condsider homeschooling if I had a child who needed schooling.

As far as the socialization "myth", I think that the homschooling groups have really blossomed and it appears that many have many opportunities for socialization. If you live near a major (or even minor city) there are many opportunities to sign your children up for classes at museums, libraries, zoos, etc. if you want them to have a socialization experience in a classroom setting. Although what does it really mean to have socialization in school? In the public school classroom there is mostly not supposed to be a lot of discussion between students so where is the "socialization" occuring? Bus stops, cafeteria, playground (if your school even allows recess), gym class, hallways. For the most part in the classroom the child is supposed to be paying attention to the teacher. Also, any child that has a sibling automatically has socialization and conflict resolution experience.

Maybe the real myth is that socialization in the public schools is always beneficial.

In the public schools there is a lot of bullying and exposure to "adult" issues from their peers (alcohol, pregnancy, etc.) before our children are even teenagers. Not to mention the times that teachers are teaching topics in the classroom and showing movies to our children that conflict with our values.

As for gummy bears used in math education, they would be called a math manipulative. Many teachers in private as well as public schools use math manipulatives. Good teachers who are allowed to teach realize that different people learn in different ways. Some are audio learners. Some are visual learners. Some are tactile learners.

One of the problems with many public schools is that they aren't able to take the time to actually teach so that all of the children in their care learn. Much of the standard public school curriculum is designed to discourage creative thinking and a love of learning. They have to teach to pass a test. They are also constrained by their student/teacher ratios. In order to pass the required state and national tests and to control 25-35 children in a classroom with one adult there is a lot of rote learning and memorization. Children can say something back to you but they don't know what it means and most times can't even remember it many weeks after they have passed the test. Many children also "fall through the cracks" because the teacher needs to teach to somewhere in the middle. The children who are more advanced end up sitting bored and the students who are struggling are left to struggle.

Every family needs to make the best decision for them. Some traditional schools are excellent and that is a great choice. Some are not. Some children learn better in a homeschooling setting. Some might not.

You all make valid points...I do agree the public school system has problems. I like to blame the No Child Left Behind for hurting not helping. I just think there are other better options then homeschooling, private, Montessori and Parochial school. I still think there's a reason why just anybody can't go to a school and teach kids. As for the social aspect, I do see adults now that I can totally tell they were homeschooled, there's just something about them and their social skills. But, of course that was 10 years ago mostly and Im sure there are better opportunities for the homeschooled child.
Im really glad we are a civil group, and can discuss these types of things..Thanks ladies

amber76 said:

Im really glad we are a civil group, and can discuss these types of things..Thanks ladies

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I agree. I'm glad that people are so kind here.

You do realize though that homeschools USE curriculum? It almost sounds like you think we teach on the fly. It is just that we can personalize the curriculum to teach to the different learning styles easier than a public school with 25+ kids in a classroom can. My children were the kind that were having problems in a public school setting. My oldest went all the way through the public school system ... and was in the "gifted program" where due to school budgets was technically "only gifted one day a week". He was super super BORED through school. Looking back I think he would have really gotten his wings and flown with a homeschool curriculum.

My middle son was diagnosed with ADHD, an anxiety disorder (thanks to the bullying that the school said they couldn't do anything about...made it much much worse) ... and now is diagnosed with PDD-NOS (part of the Autism spectrum). He was NOT learning there... the "socialization" that occured between "passing periods" was threatening ... he has a different learning style and that was not being addressed... he was supposed to change ... he was failing and they were letting him. He now uses Switched on Schoolhouse which is a computer driven program ... he learns best through this system... his retention level has skyocketed and his grades (the computer is grading him on all but subjective matter) are A's!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It is amazing how much he has learned between 8th and 10th grade! If left in the public school (and yes he had an IEP which was NOT enforced)... I have no doubt he would have failed constantly and probably dropped out.

One of the universities is very interested in homeschooled children ... a group of homeschooling parents went to a seminar put on by the university ... they were comparing public and homeschool children on SAT and ACT tests ... socialization (what are they involved in ... in the community, sports, music, etc.) was addressed and (I wish I could remember the numbers) they said that homeschooled children were involved in more things on the average than public schooled children. I turned to one mom and said "Are they trying to convince us on the pluses of homeschooling? We're already doing it!" ... she smiled and said "I think they are just reinforcing our decision and it's nice to see they have done their homework". ...so this came from a University ...

My youngest has a diagnosis of ADHD ... and he was falling through the cracks. They had him repeat 1st grade because of his reading level...then the following year they did not help him with reading because it wasn't "bad enough" (even though they made him repeat)...and every year afterwards he was always a year behind...and refused him reading support!!! He is doing so much better and without all the distractions of the classroom and the schedule of 50 minutes here...4 minutes to pass to next class...attendance...50 minutes of class....4 minutes to pass to next class...repeat for 7 classes a day... he is getting SO MUCH more done in a day! It is amazing how much he is retaining ... and finally we have him reading a book series on his OWN which he would never do before. This is only his 2nd year in homeschooling and he is doing so much better. He's my little social butterfly so he was worried he wouldn't have anyone to talk to except his brother ... well he has his Boy Scout Troop, his robotics team, his homeschool bowling team ... and up until this year was also on a basketball team for 5 years. He works very hard during the school day and is very proud of what he is accomplishing.

It's true that I am not qualified to teach some subjects (and the same goes for teaching degrees...some classes they are not qualified to teach) ... such as "Small Engine Repair" so my high schooler is taking that at the technical school which is part of the high school. To my knowledge he is the ONLY 10th grader taking a class there because the schools will not let their younger students take the classes there (due to time constraints in their curriculum). He fits in just fine ... so is taking 11th grade coursework there. Starting next year the university will allow him to take classes there and all we have to pay for is books!

Homeschooling is not for everyone ... but it is right for some families ... God Bless the USA for giving us the right to do what is right for our children.

amber76 said:

You all make valid points...I do agree the public school system has problems. I like to blame the No Child Left Behind for hurting not helping. I just think there are other better options then homeschooling, private, Montessori and Parochial school. I still think there's a reason why just anybody can't go to a school and teach kids. As for the social aspect, I do see adults now that I can totally tell they were homeschooled, there's just something about them and their social skills. But, of course that was 10 years ago mostly and Im sure there are better opportunities for the homeschooled child.
Im really glad we are a civil group, and can discuss these types of things..Thanks ladies

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We were in the public school system for 14 years ... so we were there before the No Child Left Behind was born. There were lots of problems before then as well.

What we want to know is what other options are there? You said "better options then homeschooling, private, Montessori and Parochial school" ... but you didn't say what they were.

You know it's funny ... I have never been able to figure out if an adult I meet has been homeschooled ... and I have been asked before if I was homeschooled ... I went through public school although it was in 3 different States and in numerous cities as my father's work transferred him every couple of years. If I had been homeschooled, there wouldn't have been the gaps that I experienced changing from school to school.

Sharon Kay said:

What we want to know is what other options are there? You said "better options then homeschooling, private, Montessori and Parochial school" ... but you didn't say what they were.

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I think she was saying there are other options out there besides homeschooling, such as private, Montessori, and parochial schools.

As a former homeschooling mom and perhaps a future one as well while those schools might be fine but for some they are beyond the means of others. I have three children in school right now with one more starting next year there's no way I could afford private school for all my kids...that's a luxury we gave up when we decided to have a big family and I am ok with that.

I can be easily qualified in our state to teach school (here you just need a degree then can go thru a program to get certified to teach and renew it every 2 years I believe) so there's no reason I'm not qualified enough to teach my own kids. My oldest was homeschooled thru 6th grade and in her 2nd year of "public" school (small city school..very much like private only w/out the tuition) she's thriving yet has asked to homeschool again. I'm not sure i'm comfortable homeschooling high school but if she wants to and has confidence in it then I will do anything to make that happen.

My 6th grader now just learns on such a different level. He's a brilliant kid but needs a little more individualized attention that the school system can't give him. I think being taught on a mean hurts him more than helps him. He's bored and bored children tend to find themselves in trouble and labeled troublemakers or "bad kids" when they are just sometimes more advanced than the other children in class..those kids tend to get lost in the mix. I'm seriously considering homeschooling him next year only difference is he isn't as excited about that idea as much as his sister. I think a child needs to want it too to make it successful for the family.

I'm going to leave my middle kid in school again next year. She loves her K class and as long as she's thriving and not picking up bad habits that I have to turn around and correct at home then I will leave her in school. She has never homeschooled. She went to private pre-k at our church then onto a regular K class at the academy here.

So I def think homeschooling isn't right for every kid..but it really helps those that DO need it. all that..for that opinion haha

FlirtatiousBrat said:

I think she was saying there are other options out there besides homeschooling, such as private, Montessori, and parochial schools.

As a former homeschooling mom and perhaps a future one as well while those schools might be fine but for some they are beyond the means of others. I have three children in school right now with one more starting next year there's no way I could afford private school for all my kids...that's a luxury we gave up when we decided to have a big family and I am ok with that.

I can be easily qualified in our state to teach school (here you just need a degree then can go thru a program to get certified to teach and renew it every 2 years I believe) so there's no reason I'm not qualified enough to teach my own kids. My oldest was homeschooled thru 6th grade and in her 2nd year of "public" school (small city school..very much like private only w/out the tuition) she's thriving yet has asked to homeschool again. I'm not sure i'm comfortable homeschooling high school but if she wants to and has confidence in it then I will do anything to make that happen.

My 6th grader now just learns on such a different level. He's a brilliant kid but needs a little more individualized attention that the school system can't give him. I think being taught on a mean hurts him more than helps him. He's bored and bored children tend to find themselves in trouble and labeled troublemakers or "bad kids" when they are just sometimes more advanced than the other children in class..those kids tend to get lost in the mix. I'm seriously considering homeschooling him next year only difference is he isn't as excited about that idea as much as his sister. I think a child needs to want it too to make it successful for the family.

I'm going to leave my middle kid in school again next year. She loves her K class and as long as she's thriving and not picking up bad habits that I have to turn around and correct at home then I will leave her in school. She has never homeschooled. She went to private pre-k at our church then onto a regular K class at the academy here.

So I def think homeschooling isn't right for every kid..but it really helps those that DO need it. all that..for that opinion haha

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ahhh ok...both dh and I read it that there was another venue out there we weren't aware of. We originally looked into the private school through our church ... but with 3 children I would have had to go back to work to afford it and it would have probably been tight making ends meet. Plus the private school did not have the resources available for the special needs student (which we didn't find out until later they were in that category). We both wanted a mother that would be at home when the kids came home from school, could be involved at school (volunteering as needed), and available at a moment's notice if the need arose.

The State I live in considers me a "qualified teacher". I do have a college degree, just not in "teaching". We are a registered homeschool with the State, and our public high school does recognize it and documents it as such on his IEP. They said they are available for whatever classes I would like to enroll him in. I will most likely enroll him in the college for the upper math classes, which will give him dual credit in high school as well as college. The public schools do this as well.

Meghan...you might just look into the high school curriculum out there ... or maybe there is an actual virtual high school your daughter could use. Some public schools will even provide the computer for it!

I just needed a curriculum that would teach in a way my boys can learn ... and that is working very well for them. A few of the homeschool moms I have talked to that are teaching high school students use "teaching textbooks" ... you might also look into that. My 15yo looked at it at a curriculum fair and determined that our current curriculum is easier for him to understand.

I have a question ladies...

Homeschooling is something that I'm afraid I just wouldn't have in me. And this is coming from an in-home child care provider, someone who wants to teach preschool. I'm afraid I just wouldn't have it in me to teach my own kids. The patience, the know-how, the patience...

How did you know you could do it? How did you know that it would be beneficial to your children?

Leah-

I'll just give you MY opinion from someone who's looking into homeschooling.... when you see your child not thriving.... you will do anything in your power to change that.... My son who is having issues in school is def. the one i'd be the least excited to homeschool only because he's just more "complicated" than my other 2, but.... I've cried way too many tears seeing him have a hard go at school.... seeing a super bright child falling apart is just not okay.... so i think you MAKE patience happen when you have to.

(and thank you Sharon & Meg for your experiences....)

{{HUGS}}

paperboutique said:

I have a question ladies...

Homeschooling is something that I'm afraid I just wouldn't have in me. And this is coming from an in-home child care provider, someone who wants to teach preschool. I'm afraid I just wouldn't have it in me to teach my own kids. The patience, the know-how, the patience...

How did you know you could do it? How did you know that it would be beneficial to your children?

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I was originally worried about that as well...I had a friend that homeschooled one daughter until high school and then currently homeschools the younger ones ... she thought that I could do it (she knows me very well...my strengths and weaknesses) and recommended the curriculum we are currently using. She introduced me to the local home educator group and I was able to learn more ... and then I spoke to homeschooled high school children that were on a homeschool robotics team at a competition my oldest was in ... the one child I spoke the most to had been homeschooled all his life (in fact his mom is a part-time special ed teacher at the public school!).

I knew with all the problems we were having at school ... I was spending more time up at school trying to "protect" my child from being harrassed, threatened, etc. plus trying to get him extra help in the school (the IEP wasn't being followed)... that with that and spending every night and all weekend "teaching" him his public school subjects ... that I could do it myself.

I think one of the keys to our success is that we talked a lot to people with children similar to ours and found out what worked well for them. We sat down and wrote out his strengths and weaknesses, interests, and such and found that a computer based curriculum was his best shot. The doctors also thought this particular curriculum would be their best bet based on their learning styles.

The situation my child was in in school was ruining his health, he was not learning anything, and failing. All that has turned around ... the doctors are pleased, the public school is pleased (per his "high school transition specialist" and his speech/autism teacher) with his progress, health, and general happiness.

Personally, I could not see myself doing the in-home childcare...that would take way more patience than I could do on a daily basis. lol

I wasn't sure. I did a test run in the summer to make certain that I could hack it. That helped us ease into a schedule too.

It can get frustrating when they don't understand something or keep making the same mistakes over and over. BUT it is so rewarding when they finally get it. I love seeing the light turn on in their heads! So I focus on that. And then some days there's a few diet coke breaks during the day because I'm just frustrated that they are taking too long to get their work done or that they tried to sneak not finishing their work.

I'm still surprised with how we're doing! I really thought it wasn't going to work and they would be back in school by now. I also give myself a lot of grace because what I'm doing isn't easy. I'm not perfect and that's ok.

Lauren Reid said:

Leah-

I'll just give you MY opinion from someone who's looking into homeschooling.... when you see your child not thriving.... you will do anything in your power to change that.... My son who is having issues in school is def. the one i'd be the least excited to homeschool only because he's just more "complicated" than my other 2, but.... I've cried way too many tears seeing him have a hard go at school.... seeing a super bright child falling apart is just not okay.... so i think you MAKE patience happen when you have to.

(and thank you Sharon & Meg for your experiences....)

{{HUGS}}

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{{{Lauren}}} I am so with you here. We had a very hard 6 years with our middle child in the public school system...many many years of frustration and tears were spent. If I could have one wish it would be to turn back time and start homeschooling him from 1st grade on... his self esteem, anxiety issues, and his learning would be far greater than what we have had to deal with. ...and my child is very bright ... it's just that there wasn't any flexibility in the classroom for children that learn just a bit differently.

When I started homeschooling his 8th grade year, I only homeschooled him... I wanted to make sure we had a successful year before I even entertained the thought of homeschooling his younger brother (2 grades below him). I'm not saying it wasn't challenging the first year ... new things often are ... but his grades were excellent, and I fully believe the curriculum I was using was actually harder, and his health greatly improved. He is a very devoted student ... he goes to the technical school now 5 days a week for 2 hours a day for "Small Engine Repair" ... comes straight home and dives straight into his schoolwork without ANY problems....I give him lunch while he is working on his schoolwork because he doesn't want to stop...he wants to get it "done". I never got this kind of devotion or drive when he was in public school full time ... and now I have a child that is happy, healthy, and thriving in a loving environment.

I now homeschool both boys (8th and 10th grades) ... and they are doing great!

You are welcome Lauren...anytime you need me...you know where to find me.

jannylynn said:

I also give myself a lot of grace because what I'm doing isn't easy. I'm not perfect and that's ok.

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and it's a great lesson for your children to learn that it's ok to not be perfect too Perfection was expected by me as a child/teen/college student and when I disappointed it was made known. I really think that messed with my psyche. I'm overly driven and take on way too much b/c sometimes I still feel that is what is expected of me.

As for the patience thing..I think you learn it as you teach. You will work out a schedule that works for you and your children. It's NOT easy and as parents we sacrifice a lot for our children but we also do anything in our power to make sure our kids are getting the best education for THEM...

That said..not all moms/dads are meant to homeschool. There might be something else that works better for your child out there. If it's a struggle, don't give up immediately, try and work thru and compromise on things but in the end of it doesn't then it's not meant to be. I don't glorify giving up but I do think that looking for a new solution to school issues is a good thing when something doesn't work out.

amber76 said:

Ok,someone should be the other side, (*I would never "shun" anyone for the choices they make...this is just what I think...don't hate me I think you should only homeschool if you are a certified teacher or live somewhere it is impossible to attend school... I think women who are staying at home "teaching" their kids math with gummie bears are wrong. I think people who think this is wrong (sorry Alison, I just copied and pasted)
"absolutely 0% bullying goes on, no peer pressure, no piercings, tattoos, swearing, "acceptance of differences" between kids is amazing ... the environment I wanted for my children...they are thriving in! "
this is part of who we are, dealing with these issues as children help as adults...how are they going to deal with an adult who is "bullying" when they never learned how to as a child.
Now I know Im going to get a lot of you telling me Im wrong...Im open for it...change my mind

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Well actually it's kinda funny to me to read that about the gummie bears because the public school was teaching our kids with M&Ms, chocolate bars, and hershey kisses! They also sold books at school through Scholastic that explained teaching with chocolate bars & M&Ms if I remember right.

Well we had a little problem with our public school ... their "sign" posted in the halls of the no bullying zone was a farce. They would shake their heads and say "no no" to the teenagers causing the bullying but would tell us "what do you expect us to do?" Ummm well ...stop it? No...he was not learning how to deal with bullies ... he was being shown that the teachers and administration in the school district were being bullied by the bullies and he had no protection. Would you seriously leave your child in this situation to "deal with it" on their own?!

I chose not to continue to put my child in that situation. ...it is even worse at the high school level...

I believe in my heart that this is the best thing for my child ... and I am witnessing it with all he is learning now as a result of it.

Here are some links to some of those "visual math concepts"...

http://tinyurl.com/ybunzye

http://tinyurl.com/yf2t3a6

Here is a link to an article I just read you all might find interesting:

http://www.hslda.org/docs/news/washingtontimes/200912140.asp

A clipping from the above article:

"The most recent study, “Homeschool Progress Report 2009,” conducted by Brian Ray of the National Home Education Research Institute, surveyed more than 11,000 homeschooled students. It showed that the average homeschooler scored 37 percentile points higher on standardized achievement tests than the public school average."

So what does this mean...do public schools need a gummy bear bailout? It appears the homeschool strategies are working...:thumbup:

(FYI our elementary school used M&Ms and Froot Loops instead of gummy bears...but yes they did use manipulatives)

I work full-time but would homeschool in a heartbeat if I could. I have a master's degree from a very prestigious university and have taught at the college level. Before we had kids, I was contemplating a career change and almost completed all of the requirements to teach English/language arts in our former state. I certainly consider myself qualified.

Like others, I have two motivations for wanting to homeschool -- academic and moral. My mother-in-law is a principal of an elementary school, and she said that she would completely support me if I homeschooled, because she sees how the public schools are changing - not in a good way, and certainly not in a way that supports the values our family holds dear.

The public schools in our area are quite good - but upon visiting them, I wonder how a single teacher can adequately meet the educational needs of 25-30 students. My oldest child will enter kindergarten in the fall, and there's no way we can afford private school for our three children, so they'll probably go to public school.

We just pulled my 15 year old out of public school and enrolled him in an online private school-the entire curriculum is online and every class he does is on the computer. He was failing his sophomore year due to his mental health issues-and the school's inability to meet his needs adequately. It was a HUGE decision for our family-and considering I work full time it had to be something that was more student driven than parent, so this program was perfect for us. We looked into several before deciding on one that was perfect for Connors individual situation.
Apex worked with the school so that every single credit Connor earns will carry over and count towards his graduation-from his normal HS. The classes he is taking now match up perfectly to what he was failing at public school. We are hoping that Connor will be able to join his classmates at the beginning of his Junior year and not have missed a beat.
We did a TON of research and I picked Darcy's brain-she is a wealth of information!
Connor is so happy to do his school work online and can do as little or as much as he likes daily-at any time-day or night-so far one week in, I feel we have made the best decision for our son and our family!
Good luck with your decision, if it is anything like ours-it won't be an easy one!

I was a former public school teacher. I am now homeschooling my 3 children. I don't at all think you need to be a teacher to teach your kids. I don't think there is one thing that I learned from my education classes that helps me be a better teacher at home. You learn to deal with classroom issues and 25 children. At home this is not an issue.

I encourage anyone who wants to homeschool because I KNOW that you don't need to be certified. Most homeschool parents are better teachers than those in public schools because they are allowed the freedom to teach in a manner that works best with their childs learning style, you can move at the childs speed, and you can incorporate their interests and talents.

Public school is obviously necessary and there are many great ones and many great teachers. I was a very good teacher (if I do say so myself), but there are so many regulations about what you can and can't do that it ties you up. With all of the homeschool groups and co-ops there is not an issue of social issues. Kids that "look like homeschoolers" and give that impression would also be the same way in public school - they would just get beat up for it and teased. I don't think it's a shame that they don't.

I appreciate that homeschooled children converse with adults much more fluently and naturally than do most other children the same age. I love that I can give my kids a hug and a kiss when they do great things- I was not allowed to hug my students in school. I also think that gummy bears teach addition and subtraction WAY better than a worksheet.
I pulled my child out of K in the middle of the year. The teacher said he was too distractable (true), and that he was not reading and she was concerned. She was not allowed to teach him in a manner that worked. He needed phonics, not guided reading. I had him at home and he was reading in one month. At the end of the year he was reading at a beg. 2nd grade level. And it had NOTHING to do with my being a former teacher, and everything to do with him being at home, one on one, and using a program that worked for him.

As you can see I am passionate about this. I don't think public school is wrong, just not right for my kids. Everyone has a right to choose and do what is right for their family.

I desperately wanted to HS my DS.

He was torn and wanted to "try" public school.

He seems to love it but still asks if we can still HS if he ever changes his mind.

We've told him YES.

So far?

His teacher is the sweetest, most caring teacher I could have possibly dreamed of for him.

That being said, there is only so much she can do.

The K curriculum has really held him back. He just turned 6 and can add double digits in his head. He still ocassionally skips a number or confuses a letter but so what.

He's reading has improved but we were on the road to reading before the school year started.

That wonderful teacher? I asked her to give him math that challenged him instead of math he laughed at, she still hasn't. (he was counting 6 stars and coloring them red over a year ago ... he's WAY passed that but he still has to do it)

She sees his potential and has nominated him for the GT program. "testing" for that starts in April.

So now I'm stuck. I want to see if first grade is a challenge for him, unlike K.

Then again I want to take him out over Christmas and start HS.

I wish it were an easy decision.

Sorry for the ramble. Good Luck with yours

They will be as socialized as you want them to be ... I say this as I write from our hotel room ... where we just competed in a college stadium FULL of middle and high school robotic teams ... are my kids unsocialized ... ummm far far far from it! They spent the last 2 days with 38 different teams with hundreds and hundreds of children! Not only was it extremely educational, it was extremely social ... they met a LOT of children (and adults) during set up of trade show booths ... visiting each school's booth and talking to the kids ... at a social mixer last night ... and cheering alongside and with all the other teams!! We compete 9 months out of the year ... and travel to several different States. They are also on a homeschool bowling team and have competed in different cities. Plus my youngest is in Boy Scouts.

Maybe check into the local homeschool group and find out what activities they have for homeschoolers and talk to your husband about it ... there are sooooooooooo many opportunities for our homeschooling group there is no possible way to participate in all of them! My kids used to be public school ... but they are far more socialized than when they were in public school!!

We use Switched on Schoolhouse software ... it runs on your computer ... you can customize your dates or just let the software do it all ... it assigns the assignments ... there are learning games, mini movies, reference books, calculator, etc...all within the software. My boys really like it ... and it is a piece of cake for me! The most difficult thing is installing the software.

oohlala said:

Hi Ladies,

My DD has been in a great magnet school for 5 years. Next year we have to move and the two options are not so hot.... or at least they appear that way to me.

What made you decide to homeschool? I am worried that I am not going to be a good teacher to DD. How do you know that they have finished a grade? How do you stay focused... when I am home I have ADD... I never seem to get things done.

My DH is not a fan of homeschooling. He thinks that they won't be socialized... an excuse that I don't see any real evidence of... we attend and are very active in Church, and DD rides horses at a barn with a ton of other kids.

I don't know where to start. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks,
Alison

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amber76 said:

You all make valid points...I do agree the public school system has problems. I like to blame the No Child Left Behind for hurting not helping. I just think there are other better options then homeschooling, private, Montessori and Parochial school. I still think there's a reason why just anybody can't go to a school and teach kids. As for the social aspect, I do see adults now that I can totally tell they were homeschooled, there's just something about them and their social skills. But, of course that was 10 years ago mostly and Im sure there are better opportunities for the homeschooled child.
Im really glad we are a civil group, and can discuss these types of things..Thanks ladies

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Um, wow...I have so many responses to this I don't even know where to begin, but I'll try keep it brief.

"I still think there's a reason why just anybody can't go to a school and teach kids." Yes--and the reasons is teachers' unions. But beyond that (and avoiding a political discussion), not "just anyone" should homeschool. Successful homeschoolers are parents who are dedicated, prepared, and persistent. Yes, there are unsuccessful homeschoolers. But there are also unsuccessful teachers.

"I just think there are other better options then homeschooling, private, Montessori and Parochial school." Not an option for many, and they still don't address many other issues that homeschooling families are concerned about. We, personally, were very concerned about the lack of time that we could spend with our daughter after she began school. I, for one, did not have kids simply so I could turn them over to the state once they turned five. I think (and study after study backs this up) that family time is critical for all children, and not just the younger ones. Teenagers that spend time with their families encounter far fewer of the issues that plague so many their age: sex, drugs, delinquency, etc.

"I do see adults now that I can totally tell they were homeschooled, there's just something about them and their social skills." There are some people that are just socially awkward. And I'm familiar with plenty of public school- and private school-educated people that are lacking in social skills. I also know successful and social people that were homeschooled.

As far as the comment about bullying goes, it's ridiculous to suppose that a child needs to be exposed to bullying and peer pressure to know how to handle themselves. It's the same as suggesting that you ought to be bullied now so that you can know how to handle yourself if anyone tried to bully you in the future. You would dismiss that as the nonsense that it is. The same applies with younger ages.

"Teaching" math with gummi bears--this one just made me laugh. Manipulatives are often how you begin teaching math in any schooling system. Montessori, which you recommend as a preferable education style, is HUGE on manipulatives. Are you against manipulatives (which would seem to contradict your Montessori prop) or do you feel that someone needs to buy expensive "authorized" materials to do the same job? Either notion seems silly to me.

I think that people who have such negative viewpoints of homeschooling either have an agenda to push (back to the unions) or have simply done no research whatsoever. Hopefully this thread will inspire people who labor under such false assumptions to become better educated themselves.