Totally Random: Worst Breakup Excuse?

Jeff and I were talking abt the Colts today (Go Blue!) and, among other things, how supertall the players are i.e. Peyton is 6'6". Anyway, it reminded me of this 6'7" guy I dated before Jeff and I met (as I've never met anyone else IRL who was over 6'4"), and I just had to share his reason for our breakup.

Long story short: we went on a handful of dates and weren't dating anyone else, but not super serious or 'I Love You's yet. Anyway, after spending a weekend with him including meeting his family and his best friend (at his insistence!), he wouldn't return my calls or texts. Oooookay. If I made a bad impression on your loved ones and it made you reconsider dating me, just tell me that, kwim?

Two months later, out of the blue, he calls me and wants to start back up again. Uh, what? When I press him for more information, including why he's been MIA for two months, he tells me that after spending that weekend with me, he was so attracted to me that he didn't know if he'd be able to control himself around me (!!) and that his family had liked me so much that it scared him. Um, what?! Is that the weirdest thing you ever heard?! What does that even mean?? I felt lucky that I didn't end up in a duffel bag somewhere! I was definitely NOT so attracted to him that I couldn't control myself; kissing a 6'7" 300+ lb. guy when you're 5'4" is kinda like trying to make out with a mountain.

Needless to say, I VERY gently turned him down, and what do you know, he ended up getting back together with his ex not more than a week later. *sigh of relief*

Oh, and the other funny story is when a friend of a friend set me up with a guy over winter break from college. My car broke down on the way to meet him, so I had to call a friend to drop me off at the bookstore. The guy barely talked to me, but wanted to take me to Taco Bell (ooooh!) for lunch after we'd finished our drinks there. As we're standing in line, he tells me I can order whatever I want as long as it's under $3 because he only has $7 on him and he's SO hungry. *lol* I had a water and watched him silently eat, like, 6 tacos. He dropped me back off at the bookstore and then emailed me 3 days later to tell me he just didn't think things were going to work out. Hoh boy. The best part, though, was when he went on to say that I didn't seem to enjoy my lunch. Well, yeah, since I DIDN'T EAT ANYTHING!! He must have thought the tacos disappeared so fast because some of them ended up in MY stomach. Sheesh.

What are your weird/funny breakup stories?! I need some lighthearted non-Christmas banter!

I wish I had some funniest to share, but all my breakups were heart wrenching, lol.

You are totally lucky you didn't end up in a duffel bag at the bottom of a river or something though, lol. I like you SO MUCH I CAN'T TALK TO YOU! IT'S THE WORST!! Baaahahahahahahahahahha!!

Oh my, the story about taco bill really made me chuckle

Sorry, I don't have any of those funny stories to tell.

I don't have any really funny ones either, but those are funny.

gosh I dont know...I have been with my husband almost 19 years and before him noone really compared so no real breakup stories that I can remember. It honestly feels like I have been with him my whole life (not in a bad way LOL)

ha, ha... that taco bell story... ha, ha...

The only worst one that I had was that I got "dumped" was over mini golf! We only went on a few dates and apparently really into mini golf... well, I'm not... and I'm really bad at it... so I was joking and trying to make the best of an awkward time... well, he got so mad at me because I wasn't taking the game seriously... hello, it's mini golf!!! So, after that date, he never called again... and yeah, I didn't make attempt to contact him, I was very happy that he never called me ever again... but it did make me very nervous when I was dating my now husband and he wanted to play mini golf... I told him that he was going to dump me after realizing how bad I was... turned out he was worse at it then me!!!

I dated a guy for about seven months and then one day he called me and said he needed to talk to me. He said he was breaking up with me and he started crying. He said the reason was that he was depressed and his therapist said that my success in school was contributing to his depression. I was a freshman in college and he was a 5th year senior with an amazing job with a computer company that afford lots of disposable income. I cried for about 5 minutes and then was over it. It was a pretty lame excuse.

I dated a guy for almost 3 years and about halfway thru our relationship he moved to a different state. Luckily it was a neighboring one so we saw each other every weekend still..anyways one weekend I was going up there to visit and I got there and his dad was at his house..said he went to the Bahamas for the weekend with some buddies and he'd be back on Monday morning (I'd have gone home by then so I just turned around and left that same day)

Anyways he never called me when he got home and I didn't call him. He finally called about 3 weeks later and just wanted to pick back up asking me if I was coming up for the weekend, etc...I broke up w/him needless to say but geez..3 years is a long time for a relationship esp when you are in your 20's already haha that's like forever

When I was 17, I liked older men..lol! And I was dating this one guy...he was probably 22, I don't really remember (looking back now..EW..but then it was pretty cool) Well anyway, I went on one date with him and he made me pretty uncomfortable and after that one date we spent hooours on the phone and internet with him expounding upon how much he loved me and he could see himself marrying me yadda yadda and all I was doing was looking for a way to let this guy down easily..which his hard when he's "so in love" with you and he gives you the heebie jeebies. LOL

Anyway...I ended up not answering his calls after a while and finally he left a message on my phone (about SIX MONTHS after I stopped answering his calls) that he was breaking up with me because he was afraid of commitment and knew that if we stayed together we'd get married...say wha???

LOL

Let's see..I know I can remember more if I think about it..

OH the boyfriend I had before my husband, we dated about a year and we were pretty close. Well we were on again off again for a few months before I met P, and the day I met P, I broke it off with him and P moved into my house about 2 weeks later (the rest is history!) Well I broke off contact with ex-boyfriend the day I broke up with him but about a week after P had moved in, the ex called my best friend asking her if he should forgive me and take me back. Ummm forgive me for what? Breaking up with him? Hellloooo I was LIVING with my future husband....how was that going to work out? LOL

Men R DUM

I don't really have any funny break-up stories (not that I can remember now, maybe I'm in denial), but awkward dating stories? I'm your girl Here's one:

When I was about 20, I had just come out of a very drama-filled on-off relationship, and I went out with lots of people from work to take my mind off things. I worked in a nightclub, so any night out usually involved a lot of drinks. One of my bosses was this very nice, but very old (compared to me) man, I think he was around 40. We always used to flirt a lot at work, but I thought it was just jokes. Anyway, we went out, he was making out with my other boss all night, and then at the end of the night he came up to me and asked if my break-up was final this time, I said it was, and he said he wanted to take me out. I was like, why don't you go make out with my boss some more instead. I knew my other boss really liked him, so it was pretty awkward. The next day we were all going on a charity pub-crawl (only in England..), and he kept calling me to insist that he was coming with me, even though I told him it would be wierd. So we all went out (including the girl he made out with the night before), and he turned up. My other boss obviously thought he was there to see her (as you would), but he just ignored her all night, and he told me if he had known that I was single, he would never have done anything with the other girl. She was in the toilets crying, saying she couldn't understand why he came if he was going to ignore her all night, and it was all a big mess, so I just went home. I don't think anyone ever told her why he ignored her, but there was kind of a wierd atmosphere at work for a while..

I never did go out with him, although I kind of regret it now - I'll never have the chance to do the "older man" thing

I don't remember any funny story but I'm LOL w/ yours here!
Men... they only change the addresses.

I don't have any funny break up stories, either...but I have a funny "dating" story!

I briefly dated one guy in college who was very "particular" about things. It only took me a few dates to realize I wasn't very into him, but the last straw was when we were sitting on the couch and he told me I needed to shave my legs. I told him I was a grown woman and could decide for myself when I needed to shave. He actually argued with me and said that if I was dating him that he liked clean-shaven legs. :blink:

HELLO? Needless to say, i never saw him again.

i didnt really date when i was younger. my husband is the first person i ever kissed and i was 20, lol.

there was this one guy that my friend tried to hook me up with. he was real sweet but i wasn't feeling it. i held his hand once that was it, lol. then she tried to hook me up with this other guy, we were all set to head out on a double date when his friend called to say he wasn't going cause he was going to Florida to be with his ex girlfriend. wtf?? whatever.

kissing a 6'7" 300+ lb. guy when you're 5'4" is kinda like trying to make out with a mountain.

Click to expand...

haha i dont have any breakup stories but i can soooooooooo relate to this! Im just barely 5'0" and the guy i dated before my husband was 6'5". Was ridiculous really. I had to wear heels everywhere and even then he was probably 2 heads taller than me. Was a relief to breakup and start dating my now husband who is a very average 5'10".