Thank you girls.......

[neenee]

I am without words as I try to express to all of you how much your sweet comments, emails, IM's and text messages have meant to me since I asked for your T & P's yesterday. I am constantly humbled by the friendships that I have made and that I see unfold between others through this computer. It is a true testament to the good that exists in people when you see virtual strangers show so much compassion and love for someone else they have only known electronically. You girls are what I consider some of my very best friends. And I felt that way long before my post, it is only reinforced now.

I meant to sit down today and journal about the events transpiring in my life so that while it was therapeutic for me, it could also serve as a story to explain to others what is happening. However, I really wanted to do my journaling on a layout but yet, I just don't have much mojo to create right now. So, that will have to come in a few days I am afraid. In the meantime, I wanted to just tell you all a bit of what is going on so I can stop worrying some of you! :)

My 16 yo DD #2 informed me Sunday morning that she is pregnant. Now, I know that this happens all the time to families but, as much as you see it happen around you, nothing prepares you for when it happens to yours. In addition, our situation is a little unique and because of that, it is making this news so much harder for me to accept.

My daughter lives with her father and has for 3 years. She has some mental issues and living with her father was what she wanted and was best for all of us when she went to live there. She likes a lot of one on one attention and being single with no other children at home, he was able to give that to her. I had a husband and 2 other children to care for. So, I made the very hard decision to let her go, thinking that she would hate it and come back home soon. Well, that didn't happen. She liked the freedom and the attention she received there and felt as if she filled a void in her father's life. So, I cried and cried for a long time that my child wasn't with me anymore, the way nature intends. Although I never accepted the situation or liked it, I have grown tolerable of life without her at home. Her father took her off medication when she went to live with him as he felt she didn't need it. Over the years, her mental stability has slowly declined more and more. So bad in fact, that we almost took her to an institution last month. At the advice of her doctor though, her father put her back on meds and is making sure she takes them. Then now at her one month follow up for the meds, we find out she is pregnant. I have always feared how my child's life would be as an adult. How she would cope with "real life" and the struggles, challenges and changes it presents all the time. Now, that fear is amplified 100 times on how the birth of her child at such a young age against so many obstacles on it's own will affect her life. I am scared for my child and now my unborn grandchild.

To further complicate things, she and I had a huge fight last July, the night before we were supposed to leave for our annual family vacation to the beach. I will spare you the details but, it was bad, very bad. So bad that we have not seen each other since. We have and do talk again though since October. Although, it is only for a brief period of time and then she becomes angry at me again for something and we start the process all over. So, I fear that I will not see and get to love my grandchild the way I want to once it arrives.

Anyway, I have now spilled my guts and told you all more of my life than you probably ever wanted to know but, I just wanted you all to understand why I needed your love, support and prayers and still do and will over the next year. I pray that my daughter gets better with time and her medication puts her life back in balance so that she and I can get past all of this and I can be there for her like I know she needs me to be. As well as the ache in my heart for her be filled again with her love.

Thank you girls, thank you so very much for being here for me. I love you all!

[lauren grier]

oh gosh :[ i will keep her (and you!!) in my heart. I hope that you guys can regain some stability in your relationship, and that this whole journey some how works out so that that baby has a good life ahead, with you in it.

[g8rbeckie]

oh sweetie, I'm so, so, so sorry for what you're going through! My daughter is only 5, but I already understand how utterly and completely a mother loves her children and wants the best possible life for them.

Although much easier said than done, you should take a little time to mourn the loss of what you had hoped for her life, but unfortunately need to try to figure out how to mend your relationship with her at all cost so you can be in your grandchild's life. She's still a child herself and your grandchild desperately needs a positive role model/influence.

I'll be thinking of you, please let me know if there's anything I can do for you!

[scrap2day]

Oh neenee. Big Hugs.

[MamaBee]

Oh gosh, neenee... I'm sorry... I hope that your daughter will turn to you in the months ahead and your relationship will be mended. You and your family will remain in my thoughts and if you need anything... don't hesitate to PM me.

[starxlr8]

I wish I had some brilliant words that would help you heal and cope with this new challenge in your life. I hope you find that this is a blessing in disguise in that it helps to mend your relationship, despite the tough road ahead for your daughter. Just sharing this with us shows the strength you have, that will help guide you and your family. Lots of love to you!

[Kat Stokes]

{{{HUGS}}} NeeNee. If you need someone to lend an ear, I'm here.

[jessica31876]

I have been there myself. I am 33 almost 34 and my daughter is 18. So if you do the math I was about the same age as your daughter when I had my daughter. It can be done. Hope you and your daughter can work it out because she is going to need alot of emotional support to get through the next few months and especially when she has her child.

[nun69]

oh gosh :[ i will keep her (and you!!) in my heart. I hope that you guys can regain some stability in your relationship, and that this whole journey some how works out so that that baby has a good life ahead, with you in it.

ditto~

[Balinda]

All I can continue to do is offer prayers and hugs.
My heart just goes out to you in this situation.

[Traci Reed]

oh NeeNee. I have no words for you, but make sure you find the time FOR YOU to cope during this too. Early pregnancy can be just as traumatizing and difficult for the parents as the child and I just want to make sure you're taking care of you too. Hugs to your whole family, I pray that you guys can find a way to mend and heal and celebrate the new child coming into your life, no matter how difficult the circumstances. {{{HUGS}}}

[WalkersMommy]

I'm so sorry Nee Nee. I'll be praying for you and your family. (((hugs hugs)))

[neenee]

I just wanted to add that the one other real big issue with all of this is that I myself, became a Mommy at 16. I had Breanna (the one who is now pregnant) at 18. I had a VERY hard life full of road blocks, obstacles and people who criticized and doubted me. Although I have been blessed with a wonderful life since 2001, I do not ever regret the choices I made, it is not a life I would wish for anyone, especially my children. I have always been completely honest with my children and they were witness to many of the struggles we faced and were old enough to remember them. I hoped that my programming of "you don't want to start life the way Mommy did" would save them from taking the same path. However, life always has it's own ideas and here we are. I am glad in this case that I did experience being a teenage mother because I have been in the shoes my daughter is wearing and I have great sympathy, compassion and understanding for her. And I will do everything in my power to see that she finishes her education, high school and college, and is able to make a good life for her and our grandchild.
And you know...I am feeling so much better already just having written all of these emotions down, it is a bit of a release.

[mrs_jb]

Many many prayers and positive thoughts to you and your daughter! I myself was a young first time mom and I know just how difficult it can be to deal with so much, so fast. I truly pray that you and your daughter can come together and be there for each other.

And reading your other post... definitely let it out! Talk about how you are feeling and what you are thinking. From someone who deals with depression issues, the worst thing you can do is to keep it all in, even though it's hard to talk, do it anyway... or even crying, LOL... a good cry always helps me now and then.

[Julie Billingsley]

Oh NeeNee :hugs: I will pray for some healing between you and your daughter. Hope she sees that she needs you more than ever now. ((hugs))

[lizzyfizzy]

i sent you a pm but i wanted to add that you are so brave and so strong!! i cannot imagine being in your shoes. just remember that we are here if you need to vent or just write out your emotions out loud. MORE HUGS!!!!

[kristine]

Just want to send you some big hugs - it must be a shock for you to become a grandma so young. I hope you can work things out with your daughter so you'll be able to be there for your grandchild.

[pomi]

((((Hugs)))) NeeNee. I keep praying for you and Breanna and the whole family and I really really hope that there are more and more light and good moments coming during this hard situation and that in a few (or more) years when you all look back you'll also say "it was difficult but we don't regret a thing".

[Claudi]

(((HUGS))) Sweetie! I have no words right now..... My thoughts and prayers are with you and your daughter girl

[livelys]

Oh NeeNee, I wish I could add words of wisdom too - but all I can do is send love and happy thoughts and wishes your way. Lots and lots of them!

xxxxx

[LilachO]

Oh sweetie I will pray for your family and your unborn grandchild.
you are such a strong women dealing with all of that and I'm sure that you will find the way to look deep inside and have new strength to keep on
I'm sending you a big huge from here.

[Darcy Baldwin]

Aww, hon...I know that's got to be hard for you - especially with the history of the relationship. I'll definitely keep her in my prayers for a healthy and happy time coming as it's so important for the baby, and for you AND her Dad...that you can be the strength that she needs as she tries to get better and deal with this situation.

I'm so sorry that you're struggling. (((HUGS)))

[Lizzy257]

[[[Hugs]]] NeeNee, hope everything works out for you all.

[sannajeannine]

Oh neenee....you are both in my prayers....(((((HUGS)))))

[emmasmommy]

You are in my prayers girlie. I wub you so much!

[sprauncey1]

I have no words of wisdom myself, so I am praying for wisdom and patience for you and your family.

Thank you for sharing with us these very emotional and personal times and I hope that you are truly blessed and strengthened by doing so! Please continue to let us know how to help!

[heathergw]

HUGE HUGS hon... you and your DD are deeply in my thoughts and prayers and will continue...

[gypsystar]

Hugs! I can't even imagine! Sending lots of love and hugs your way. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

[RealRach]

Huge hugs from Me. Sorry this is happening. Just remember, everything happens for a reason. Will keep you in my T & P.

[scrappurple]

:( I am sooooo sorry. Life can suck sometime, but keep your head up. WE all ♥ you1

[Kara]

Big hugs to you!

[makabe]

I'm so sorry you're going through such a rough time... You and your family are definitely in my thoughts and prayers. I hope for a healthy pregnancy for your DD and healing for all of you so that she, too, can find the happiness you finally did. She may not see it right now, but your strength will inspire her in the years to come...

[kresta]

((Hugs)) honey. So sorry you and your family are having to struggle with this. Mental illness is so hard on everyone and adding pregnancy into it just compounds it. Will definitely be thinking of you guys.

[~Julie~]

{{{Hugs}}} I will keep you and your daughter in my thoughts and prayers.

[Keely~B]

My heart hurts for you, I'm so sorry that your family is going through such a difficult time. I'll be sending hugs and positive thoughts your way.

[junebug]

oh wow. i hope you and your daughter can find some peace together! she definitely needs all the support she can get. my Ts and Ps are with you and your family! ((hugs))

[ColleenSwerb]

I have no advise, I just wanted to send you some ((((((((hugs))))))))).
I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers!

[Sharon Kay]

Aww, hon...I know that's got to be hard for you - especially with the history of the relationship. I'll definitely keep her in my prayers for a healthy and happy time coming as it's so important for the baby, and for you AND her Dad...that you can be the strength that she needs as she tries to get better and deal with this situation.

I'm so sorry that you're struggling. (((HUGS)))

...well said Darcy...well said. I totally agree.

[Leah]

Aww honey, I'm sorry that you're having to go through this. Everything will be okay. You guys will be able to make the right decisions based on what is best for your family. {{hugs}} I'm here for you sweetie.

[NettieB]

hugs, nee nee. don't have words, but will be praying.

[ltarbox]

HUGE (((HUG))) NeeNee! I'm not qualified to give any words of wisdom, but I'll be thinking of you and sending you lots of love! Hang in there!

[kim21673]

((HUGS)) to you! You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I pray that you and your daughter regain a relationship and she turns to you for guidance and support during what is going to be a very difficult time.


I will add that I was a young, single mom too....I know what a hardship it is...but with lots of love and suppost, thoughts and prayers, it can be done. My DS will be 18 in a few weeks, the same age I was when I had him....

Many thoughts and prayers are coming your way!!

[jaylensmom]

hugs neenee...i will keep you and your daughter in my prayers...this baby may be what brings you and your daughter closer together...

[chloe]

Wow, a stressful situation indeed. I'll keep you and your daughter in my thoughts. ((((((hugs))))))

[iJenny]

Lemme tell you something, NeeNee. A girl never needs her mom so much as when she becomes a mom herself. I know firsthand. I have faith that your daughter will come back to you (whether its physically or just emotionally).

I'm so sorry you're hurting right now. There is not greater pain that watching your own child struggle and I can't even imagine all the emotions you're going through.

All I have to offer is hugs and lots of prayers for you, your daughter, your grandbaby, and your whole family.

(((hugs)))

[tettletop20]

Continued prayers for you....and your daughter, grandbaby, and family. Huge hugs!

[lovely1m]

Neenee, I really hope this child will help bring you together again. Good luck and take care of yourself, too. Hugs!

[crystalbella77]

oh NeeNee! I am sooo sorry!!!!! I am sending tons of love, hugs and prayers to you guys!!!!! Please keep us posted and like Traci said make sure you don't lose sight of yourself either!!! We are always here for you!

[mlrw70]

You are definitely in my prayers and thoughts. Big (((HUGS))) to you and your family in this difficult time.

[rach3975]

What a challenging situation for all of you! I hope your daughter has a healthy pregnancy and that this experience brings you closer.

[meganmecrazy]

((((HUGS)))) Keeping you all in my T&Ps.