How do you tell someone no? lol

W

WalkersMommy

New member
I need some advice/opinions. DH is no help, so I turn to you :) lol

The older sister of an old high school friend wrote me on facebook asking if I could watch her son a few days a week. I love this old friend of mine and her parents, we live very close to each other and we see each other on occasion, but this sister is not exactly... like the rest of them, lol. I have only met her a few times because she moved here from California after I graduated high school (which is when my old friend and I basically went out separate ways). Anywho, she has recently had a lot of problems with the law and drugs. She just spent some time in jail and I'm just really apprehensive about this. The way my friend talks about her sister is not good. She supposedly rarely pay her bills and is not reliable. Therefore, I really do not want to watch her son. I'm sure he's a sweet baby, and I feel bad for him, but, I just don't want to associate with someone like that, and I definitely don't want my family involved. How do I say no? TIA ladies :)
 
i would just say no... maybe ask your friend (her sister) for her opinion and see what she says, if u don't wanna do it, don't.
 
Maybe tell her that Walker's too much to handle for you right now and you wouldn't feel comfortable bringing another baby in the mix while you're still trying to "train" your own LOL
 
I would just say no. Take it from me not a good mix. I babysat for a neighbor who was kinda like how you explained this girl and she would leave her daughter for hours and hours past the agreed pick-up time and not expect to pay anymore. She left owing me like 200 dollars and never did pay me.
 
lol did you change your facebook page? cuz your comment on my video you left now has no profile attached..

/hijack
 
Traci Reed said:
lol did you change your facebook page? cuz your comment on my video you left now has no profile attached..

/hijack
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No... weird!! but that's a good idea... ahhahaaa :D JK!


Thank you ladies :) I think I will just tell her I can't handle it and I'm sorry. I feel bad, but like I said, I do not want to be involved with all that.
 
That is so weird, Traci. I just went to check out my facebook and it still shows that I left you that comment! Weeeird!
 
I have learned that it's not worth it to say "yes" to avoid hurting someone's feelings if it will end up having a negative effect on you or your family. Saying "no" is hard, but sometimes you just have to do it. I would say something like you are just trying to focus on your own family and home and you don't feel like you can add anything else to the mix right now. Good luck!
 
What everyone has said is great advice. I had some dear friends ask me to watch their soon to be born child years ago and while I knew they were good people and would be paid.....I had to tell them no. I told them that I have such a routine with my children and am just able to manage my own. Adding a new baby to the mix would not only be too hard for me emotionally and physically but would take away from my own children. They were very understanding and we are still really good friends. And I am so glad I didn't accept just because they were friends. I am afraid it may have ruined our friendship.....their child turned out to be quite a handful.....:p
 
My comment would have been... "I'm sorry, I love my kids, but I'm not crazy about other people's kids..." But I'm rude like that... could also explain why no one has every asked me to watch their kids... :glare:
 
I'm (slowly, but hooray I am) learning to say "no" in situation like yours. It's hard and what I don't like is thinking over the explanations to tell the other person when I don't want to tell her the real reason. So as the girls said - I'd just politely, but strongly say "No, I'm sorry." You don't HAVE TO explain your reasons to everybody who just asks you, right (that's what I keep saying to myself when I'm there again)?
 
You've gotten some great advice- I just wanted to add a comment. I've found the most effective way to tell someone no is to say it succinctly. :) You do not owe anyone an explanation or detailed list as to why you don't want to do something.....so keep it short.

Will you watch my child a few days a week?

- Oh, no, sorry I can't do that.

No need to provide any additional information. IF and it's a big IF, the person asking is so rude to ask WHY, then you say:

- Oh really, it just won't work for me.

And that's it.

The key is to shut your mouth and not feel obligated to start blathering on about your reasons - just answer and wait for them to respond. LOL
 
Majda and Emmy, I agree completely! No explanation is necessary. I'm not a big fan of providing an explanation that is not 100% true. So I would only say you can't handle addl kids, if that is truly the case. You wouldn't want to rule out the option for watching other kids and if you said yes to someone else in the future, it most certainly would get back to your friend. You could even start off with "Thanks for thinking of me, but I can't". Good luck!
 
Yep say "NO" without explanation...an explanation gives them a chance to try to change your mind.

Apparently the sister is not willing either ... that should be a definite sign there not to do it.

I have had to say NO as well ... and learned the hard way not to offer an explanation!

I'm learning to say NO to other things as well ... this week will be a true testament on whether I can use that word effectively.
 
Emmy said:
You've gotten some great advice- I just wanted to add a comment. I've found the most effective way to tell someone no is to say it succinctly. :) You do not owe anyone an explanation or detailed list as to why you don't want to do something.....so keep it short.

Will you watch my child a few days a week?

- Oh, no, sorry I can't do that.

No need to provide any additional information. IF and it's a big IF, the person asking is so rude to ask WHY, then you say:

- Oh really, it just won't work for me.

And that's it.

The key is to shut your mouth and not feel obligated to start blathering on about your reasons - just answer and wait for them to respond. LOL
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I could not agree more. I was going to post to say that you don't need to explain anything. Just say no! It works well! And once you do it a few times, it gets really easy! LOL :D
 
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