Heartbroken...what can I do for a bereaved family?

rach3975

rach3975

New member
My cousin and her husband had twin micropreemies (born at 26 weeks) who are 1 year old, and their family has been dealing with a lot of stress over the girls' special needs. Last night the babies' father killed himself during an argument with my cousin about caring for them. I'm heartbroken for my cousin and the twins. The loss of his life is tragic, and my cousin has been left with so much to cope with on her own. She watched it happen, and I can't imagine how she's dealing with that. I wish I could do something to help, but I'm out of state so I can't do anything practical like watching the kids. We weren't close enough for me to be an ear for her or know what she needs. Any suggestions? :(
 
wow that is really sad. I dont know what she might need. If you were closer Id say bringing over some food might help. Maybe sending a note/some flowers and a gift card to help with financial stuff might be helpful.
 
yes i would say sending over sonething to help her. in times like that you forget to eat. i hope she has family that can help thats close. So sad, i am sorry.
 
oh gosh, I'll be lifting them up in my prayers... I can't imagine. :( I think sending something to help is a good idea.
 
Oh no, that is so terrible and sad. I will pray for them. She will really have her hands full, so maybe something like paying for someone to come in and clean the house?
 
Oh how devastating. I am so sorry. Prayers for your family.

An idea to send:
Since you can't bring over a casserole/salad, you might want to look at the food options that QVC will send. They have stuffed chicken, etc. in individual servings that she could take out and just pop into the oven. They will bill you and send to her.

You might even consider sending condolences now. Then in about 6 weeks send her something (I think QVC will send your message with it) saying that you are thinking of her and you wanted to make meal preparation a little easier on her so your sending her these. It actually might be seen as a nice gesture because other people will probably rally around her with casseroles in the beginning. She may be feeling really overwhelmed in a couple of months when the immediate help goes away.
 
wow, that is incredibly sad and tragic. I think the idea of sending food at a later time is good. I wish I had other ideas.
 
I have no advice to add to what's already been offered, but my heart goes to you cousin and her twins...that is just so tragic and heartbreaking...I will be keeping them in my thoughts.
 
Oh my goodness Rach! I am so sorry for your family and what you all are going through. I don't have any suggestions but, I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers.
 
I can't even begin to imagine...

May be practical help is the best you can do to help, being away, such as the food idea, or even more mundane practical things like a baby package including nappies and formula?
 
OMGoodness! My heart is just breaking for your cousin and the sweet babies right now. I can't even begin to imagine how devastated she must feel!!

I agree with an above poster about sending your condolences now, but then sending something later as well. She will need a major amount of help in a month's time when everyone else has gone away and is no longer sending food or offering their help. It would be a huge relief to her, I'm sure, to have a care package for her when the craziness calms down.
 
omg, that is HORRIBLE! :(

do you know if she belongs to her local twins club? most cities have them and they can be an enormous help, especially in a time of need. if you can find out what club she belongs to (or what the local one would be) and contact them, i'm sure they could work out a meal schedule, support. etc.

I know our twin's club does that as well as all sorts of other stuff when someone is in need of whatever.

{{{hugs}}}
 
Thanks, everyone. I like the idea of meals in a few weeks instead of now. I'm sure her father and stepmother are there helping now, and he was a college professor so they may be getting meals through faculty groups or friends. I'm sure I could arrange some restaurants in a few weeks, maybe get my brother and sister (who are in the same city as she is) to help, too. Any more suggestions would be welcome, too!
 
Wow, I have no words for that, what a horrible situation! I'll definitely be sending lots of good thoughts her way.

I agree with the others, send a note/card/flowers now, but in a month or so, send along something as well. She will probably be overrun with food, etc now, but in a few weeks when everyone sort of backs off, she will need it more then, I think.

I also think the diapers, etc might be a good idea if you can get them delivered. For sure she is not really thinking straight, and if they are already there, she won't have to worry about that one small thing.
 
oh my.. :[ this is just heart breaking, I have no words. all the ladies have had good ideas... so so sad :[ your cousin & her two girls are in my heart!
 
Oh, how horrible. I, too, agree about sending something in 6 weeks or so. You could do one of those places that makes all the meals & freezes them, then she can just pop it in the oven and the diapers and wipes delivered is a great idea, too.
 
That is more heartache than anyone should ever have to face. If it were possible for you to arrange someone to help care for the girls, maybe you could have several family members contribute, to help her out now that she will be on her own, that might help.
 
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