DH work away from home?

Do any of you have a DH that does work where he is gone for like a month at a time and then home for a month?

My DH is considering a job like this where he would work a month over seas (we are in the US) and then come home for a month at a time. I was just wondering what personal likes/dislikes any of you have with this type of lifestyle?

My husband has done this for the last four years or so. He goes up to Alaska and works...usually at least for 4 - 6 weeks, and then home for a visit, and back up. Last year he ended up being gone for a total of 6 months...maybe 2 visits during that time. Sometimes he's here for 6 - 8 months at a time. It really all depends.

I'm fine with whatever he has to do to find work. Right now, there is no work here or in Alaska...so we'd take Alaska over unemployment any old day!

Like you my kids are older...so it's really no biggie. If I stayed at home, it might really be hard, but I work (mostly part time 20 - 30 hours a week) and so I'm really busy. There were times when it was really hard...with taking kids to school, all their programs, concerts, driving one back and forth each week to where he was going to school...but we managed just fine.

Mine doesn't work for a whole month at a time, only a week at a time, but it's crazy and workable at the same time! We have six kids, ranging in age from 12 to 8 months. To be honest, things are actually more organized when he's gone, because I know I have to be! In order to survive, I have to run a very tight ship and just do it all! One of our children is also special needs, so it can be a lot of work, but for now, that's what it takes for us to live where we want to live and for him to still bring in money! To me, it's worth it. Then when he's home, he's home a lot and it's nice for the kids and all. We've been doing this for almost 2 years. He's usually gone a week, home a week, gone, etc.

Our situation is a little bit different, he's only gone 4 nights and then home for the weekend. Like Ramona said, things are much more organized and I have a lot less daily stress than when he was home every night. There are of course some disadvantages, like when something breaks down it naturally happens when he is in the UK. To some extent I think it would be easier to have him gone a month and home a month. Weekends here seem to fly by and the chores that he needs to do take way longer to get done. If he were home for a month he could have a week of rest and still get things done. He's on a pretty hectic schedule and needs one day to just kick back and relax.

It has also strengthened our relationship dramatically. I use to dread the call that said he was on his way home every night. He's kinda like a tornado when he walks in the house and was always underfoot. Now I get excited when he calls to tell me he's on the train heading for the airport. The constant arguing we used to do over petty little things just doesn't happen anymore, and, for that, I wouldn't trade a single thing.

Every relationship is unique so only the two of you can really decide what is best for you.

I'm so glad that it seems that everyone here who has responded has a positive story to tell. I grew up in a situation like this and it caused a lot of stress on the marriage and a lot of stress in our family life. My parents are now divorced.

Mine works away from home monday - friday, but he is home every weekend, so it's not quite the same. He works every week though, so he doesn't spend long periods at home.

I actually quite like it - although I'm not sure I'm supposed to admit it He works a lot anyway, so when he was working nearby he was never home until kids bedtime anyway, and it's not easy to build routines around that. With him being gone during the week, the kids and I have our little routines, and then after the kids go to bed, it's my time. I really enjoy the time to myself, and being able to watch crappy tv without him moaning about it, or have friends around for a good gossip! And I think we make more effort when we do see eachother, because we only have a certain amount of time each week.

I think the only downside it that you get very tied to the house, I can never do anything in the evening without getting a babysitter. Luckily I have some awesome friends who come around and keep me company though - and my parents live only 20 minutes away, and they are pretty good with the babysitting. Also, it really annoys me when he is home for a longer time, like at holidays, - he messes up all the routines

Seriously though, as long as you keep talking every day I think it's fine. We use Skype a lot, and we have mobile phone plans that gives us free calls to eachother. One thing though - I work full time, so I get to spend all day with other people, if I was at home with the kids all the time with no adult company it might drive me slightly mad.