for moms with teenage daughters

What would you do if your teenage daughter was constantly taking your stuff? Like perfume, makeup, lotion facial cleanser...(so basically like hair/makeup,beauty type stuff) even though she has her own and has a job where she can buy her own? I dont mean just burrrowing a little bit and then returning it to where she found it but actually taking the whole thing so you cannot use it? Like today I am getting ready to go to the dr. I wanted to do my makeup which I do not do everyday and I find my blush, mascara and eyeliner are all gone. I search and search because I know my daughter JUST bought her own two days ago and yet cannot find mine and Im thinking why would she take mine when she has her own right? So I call her and ask her if she has my makeup and she says yea she has it but she wont be home for two days so WTH good does that do me? I ask her well what happened to the stuff you just bought? She said yea I didnt really like it that much so I took it back. I dont know what else to do though. Ive asked her not to. Ive told her not to and she just keep doing it. She even once used an entire bottle of Lancome Hypnose perfume my husband bought me for mother's day!! It makes me sad because it is my stuff but at the same time I love her and I would give her anything of mine if she wanted it. I just want for her to realize that if it is mine she should just use it not take the whole thing.

Well, I love my daughter to death, but the rule is she can borrow, but only if she uses it in my room and/or if she returns it immediately after use (if it's jewelry or accessories). I frankly told my daughter, "I work hard for the money to pay for those things, and I expect you to respect that." Since she's possessive of her things, it works.

I only let her use it(makeup) in my bathroom, and any clothing/accessories must be washed and returned within 48 hrs or she loses the privelege to borrow stuff

I'd start asking her for the money to replace the stuff. It's YOURS, not hers, and she needs to respect that boundary. I wouldn't dream of taking my mom's stuff like that. Even when she had something I really liked, I would go out and buy it myself so that it was MINE to use.

She has a job, she can replace what she's taken. Fair is fair. If she likes the brands you buy or whatever, she can go out and get herself some.

Maybe you need to show her how much that sucks in return?

lovely1m said:

Maybe you need to show her how much that sucks in return?

Click to expand...

ditto

walk in her room and find her most prized stuff and just take it!!! It's never "OK" to use anything of anybodies without asking....no matter the person or relationship!!!!!

lol this is making me giggle... I totally stole my moms makeup as a teenager.. always. ^_^

I had my own, I never had to steal my moms

Not only that, but I just never would! But then, we didn't live together, so maybe that was why?

My mom never cared if I took her stuff. like ever. she liked that we shared stuff and I didn't think she was just some haggy old lady LOL. So IDK. I wouldn't appreciate her taking it out of the house and leaving you in the lurch. retaliation to teach a lesson would seem childish to me though if I were her and would pick a fight with the hormone that is most teenage girls.

she's an adult now though, graduated from high school, perhaps a real adult conversation about it would be the best course.

Yeah, I'm with Traci. Although, I never really took any of her stuff... but used it any time and she didn't care (in her bathroom....). I think she liked to share with us, but I do realize that's different than her just taking it and leaving for a few days. My mom probably wouldn't have cared if I took it anyway, but of course I'd give it back if she wanted it.

I wonder if this will happen down the road for us...

my DD is 17 and doesn't really bother anything of mine except my perfume every now and then. and when she does use it, she puts it on in my bathroom. I think getting back at her is kinda harsh and if I were her {at 17}..it would just piss me off more than teach me a lesson....maybe you could take her out and actually show her the perfume and make up that you use and have her buy it with her OWN money and then maybe she will realize that if she wants nice stuff it is going to cost HER out of her pocket to purchase it...I know once I bought my own makeup, clothes, perfume, etc...I took MUCH better care of it because I used my own money~ just my 2 cents

Ive talked to her before about it. She still does it. I think because I dont always wear makeup usually only if I am going out somewhere like last night to her graduation or like to a school function or out with my husband I will wear makeup. Like just running errands I dont. So I think she figured she could take the makeup and I would not notice and she could put it back. Im going to talk to her about it again though because I know she would not like it if I was to do it to her.

I wouldn't have been caught dead wearing my Moms make up or perfume. Traci my mom was the "haggy old lady." hahahah

But Jessica I totally think your daughter needs to respect you and you need to set up some boundaries and rules about your things.

she worked today and I just talked to her on the phone so Im going to talk to her tonight about boundaries and how unfair it was to take my stuff just because she didnt think I would need it before she could return it. The thing is if she had asked I might have said go ahead and take it but she never really asks. It is a really good thing she and I dont wear the same size clothes because she would defenitely be taking my clothes too if they fit (she is teeny tiny...only weighs 110 pounds)

just wanted to say I thought about you today!!! I got out the shower and my deodorant wsa gone from my sink {always in the same place!!!}...so my DD had just gotten out the shower and was in her room and I said "Sam, did you take my deodorant?" she opens her door and hands it back too me!!!!! Funny thing was, she hadn't actually used it yet so she had to come back and say "Mom can I use your deodorant, please"!!!! just thought it was ironic!

My daughter takes my stuff ALL the time! It really irks me. So, I hid mine in a little chest by my bed that she just thinks is a decoration. LOL

I let Jordan use my stuff but she isn't allowed to take it!! Retaliation is harsh but sometimes that's what it takes. I would first have a conversation with her and make her pay you for the stuff she has taken and put a you are not to touch at all on the valuable things like your perfume. If it were to happen again maybe she would need to have something of hers taken without permission or knowledge and let her see how exactly it feels to be left in a lurch when someone else helps themselves to your things without asking. Essentially, the bottom line is she stole those items and that requires action. JMO!!

When I was growing up my mom would let me use her things but I ALWAYS had to use it in her bathroom or ask if I could take it but then had to immediately return it. Although, there wasnt much of hers that I did borrow since she and I have different taste in things.

I would definitely make her replace the things that she used up of yours and then tell her she needs to buy her own stuff. If she continues to take your stuff without asking then you should hide it. If she cant find it she wont use it! :thumbup:

Muahahahahaa...Put out decoy makeup that turns her face a funny color! Just kidding! I agree with what everyone else is saying, but I couldn't resist saying it (bad sheep!). I would definitely talk to her and set some clear consequences for if/when it happens again. Then stick those consequences.

It is so hard to stay upset with her when she does stuff like this because then she will do something like bring me home an apple pie from Mcdonalds or an icee from her store. Or check out a copy of a book she knows I want to read from the library. At the moment I find something missing it ticks me off but it doesnt last very long. Probably why she keeps doing it though because I will get over it and by the time she gets home Im not so mad anymore. I am going to talk to her about it today though and tell her she needs to start asking before she just takes something of mine so at least Ill know if I need it where it is and wont spend so much time searching for that particular one.