Figuring out that my oldest, who is almost 14, has "a touch of the 'tism" (this is how we usually describe them being slightly autistic) has helped tremendously with giving them grace on things that are hormonal/attitude things that can be changed vs. neurodivergent autistic things that cannot. I still find them exhausting to deal with much of the time but I'm now able to figure out which is them being difficult on purpose and which is them simply seeing everything as very black or very white.
I will mention in my journaling if either one of my kids was so exasperating or awful when we were doing something that it fundamentally changed the event or occasion but I don't generally scrap an entire page about my teenager's "teenager-ness."
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