Friday I held it together okay. I knew nothing about it until around noon when I first turned on the TV after getting home from work. I work at a 2nd-3rd grade school building. I have a 7 year old 1st grader and a 10 year old 5th grader. They each go to different buildings since our school is divided into attendance centers. I knew they were both safe and I knew the kiddos at my building were safe (I have a 7 year old 2nd grade nephew who goes there) so I tried not to think about it. When I went back in to pick up the kids after school (they ride the bus from their buildings to mine where I get them, my building is the closest to our house and our 'home' school), they had the doors locked and the secretary was a little flustered. Our principal was out of the building on Friday so the secretary was the one handling things and it all hit her really hard so her first instinct was to lock everything down.
Friday evening I told my kids, very briefly, what happened. They understood and seemed okay with the knowledge. I assured them that every on of the teachers and staff members at their school would do everything they could to protect them at all times. They accepted that and we went on.
Saturday it hit me. I cried quite a bit on Saturday just thinking about the terror those babies must have felt, all of them, not just the ones who lost their lives. I think about the terror that those left behind had to endure as well and how their lives have changed forever. It tears me apart just to think about it.
On Monday we went back to school/work. I am one of the first people in the building and I greet the children in the lobby and monitor the buses, etc. in the mornings. The principal arrived early and informed me that the superintendent had emailed her saying there would be a police officer at school in the morning. The officer arrived shortly after. We have had an officer in our lobby or outside of the front of the school every morning and every afternoon this week. According to the two officers I've spoken with, there are indefinite plans to have officers at our schools (all 3 buildings) on a daily basis. It definitely makes me feel a little more comfortable. They aren't there ALL day, but they are there enough to really make their presence known and I think that would serve as a deterrent. The officers are also making several rounds during the day by the school so an observer would probably think twice...
On Monday after school my daughter came home with some of the stories her classmates told her. She had heard about the teacher who put her students in cabinets and closets and told the gunman that they were in the gym. She asked if I would do something like that to protect kids at our school. I told her that no one knows what they would do in a specific situation but that when I was there it was my responsibility to protect those kids to the best of my ability. She was pretty distressed to think I could actually die at work. She was less concerned about her safety at school and was focused more on mine. I, of course, worry more about the kids.
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