Oh La, I'm so sorry you're feeling this way, but please don't feel alone . . . I don't know a single one of us moms who hasn't felt the way you're feeling right now at one time or another (most of us LOTS of times).
The bottom line is that, regardless of whether it's raising Ce or anything else in your life, all you can do is the best you can do! And it sounds to me like you're doing that - in the face of some pretty heavy odds, I might add.
If things have been as tense as you say & you know he is feeling it also, try sitting down with him and talking about it. Ask for his input about something the two of you could do together that would be fun but at the same time doable. Having even one positive thing added to the routine can make a huge difference.
You might also talk to him about how both of you could do small things to improve the quality of the time you do have together . . . (these examples are totally made up, cause I don't know the specific issues) like him brushing his teeth the first time you ask him to, or you asking him nicely to do things instead of barking commands. A child is, after all, just a small person - and every person I know responds a whole lot more positively if they have some input into the decisions that rule their life.
I promise you that we have ALL been there. Try not to be so hard on yourself!!
