Quote:
Originally Posted by misfitinmn
You know, this is SUCH a good point. I, too, beat myself up for not doing enough with my little man. I don't make every moment a teaching moment, we hardly ever eat at the dining room table anymore, and we watch far more TV than I am proud to admit! But my mom was a single mom and she employed this "benign neglect" and not only did I have a great childhood, but I also LOVE my mom more than anything, and don't feel slighted at not having more one on one time playing with her as a kid.
The thing that sucks, I think, is that parenting has started to feel like this big competition and we have to spend X amount of time doing "quality activities" with our kids or we're clearly neglecting them and they're not going to be as smart or advanced or whatever. I wish it hadn't become like this, because then we all end up feeling guilty when we're doing our best and not every kid is the same. Mine, for example, is so not into planned activities - so I don't do them very often. He'd rather just run and play on a playground, or play with his cars. So since we aren't doing all of these educational activities, I end up feeling like a bad mother for not doing them. Even though realistically I KNOW he won't get into them at all.
Anyway, that's my wordy version of "You're totally not alone!".  |
See, I'm not a parent, but I can imagine things, so I can just see myself as a Mum, comparing myself to all of those "quality activities" Mums and despairing. My Mum was divorced and I was a kid that didn't need much attention and was perfectly content to play alone. I went to a painting course and took piano lessons and played with other kids, and we played boardgames with Grandpa, but I don't feel like it was a childhood that didn't stimulate me enough or whatever. These days I'm so overwhelmed when hearing about what Mums do with kiddos, and I'm pretty sure, in advance, I'd be feeling totally inapt.