Thanks for talking me down, everyone. After reading all of your responses and having a couple of days to adjust to the change in his friend's plans, I'm feeling better about things.
Jason isn't much of a joiner and has avoided organized activities since he stopped playing sports a few years ago, but starting last year we told him he had to commit to one activity of his choice each year, either in or out of school. After trying a few things he finally found one that clicked for him and that some of his friends do, too, a regional quiz bowl competition for middle school Latin students. The teacher is thinking about starting a high school version of it, which would be great.
I'm hoping J will start to take the initiative to strengthen his relationships with at least one or two people, but I'm not going to worry as much if he isn't there yet. I had great friends throughout school but have found adult friendships much, much harder to develop--I was worrying that if he wasn't willing to invest the time now, when he has a lot more free time, he was going to find it even harder later. I'm going to try to look at it differently--even if he doesn't find his people in high school, maybe when he moves out and the family isn't there to fall back on for daily company he'll be more motivated.
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