D.R.A.M.A!!!

[Shawna Clingerman]

so SO not digi related though, so no worries there!

but uggg, i'm feeling just awful about this today... and since talking about it to anyone I know will just light the fires of more drama, I'm going to come here and unload...

i have a friend that recently got divorced (person a)... and basically ended up dating someone (person b) who was involved with (dating not married to) someone else we know (person c) (we being my my local group of friends)... it was all very odd, but none of my business, and my friend(a) didn't like intentionally start things with person b... if anything the other person did... plus person c isn't exactly someone any of us (friends and i) are really friends with (shes not super pleasant)... plus she had just left her husband about a year ago... it all is quite involved...but that doesn't matter that is not what this is about (hahaha, as if that isn't enough drama in of it self)!

anyways, a mutual friend (person d), who is pretty close to the person in question (person a), had been talking A LOT about A.... i mean everyone is talking but she crossed some serious lines IMO like you know group gossiping... where there are like a big group people of all standing around spreading nastiness... and also person d was sort of saying things that were basically not even true... so i've been feeling really uggg about that, PLUS she D has really been a confidant to A. So on f-book/blogs i see D talking and commenting and being all "oh i'm so here for you," to person A and... you know when snarky people get all like hoity toity about being the best friend ever to someone.... but obviously she(D) was not a friend to A because she was spreading stuff around....

blah, its all been very much weighing on me because i didn't want to you know gossip to A about how D is gossiping about her. but i'm really not happy that its happening i even sorta got on everyones case about how the drama is totally out of hand and does A even know how so many people are saying doodoo...

but today, A asked me point blank why D was acting weird with her... and so I told her... because i didn't want to lie, and also i was kind of glad to tell her because she was really being dooped by D...

She A is totally heartbroken, and I wonder if maybe it was wrong to tell her, or that she'd be better off not knowing... but at the same time, she'd been choosing D to confide in, so it seemed like she should know...

ugg, i'm just feeling blecky about it all, and I think I want to hear I did the right thing... or ... you know hugs or something because I'm sad all this is going on, and also I hate to be caught up in it all....

sheesh, that is all... lol its so short and sweet and to the point too

[Shawna Clingerman]

hahaha that is the longest most confusing post ever...
omg it is confusing ME.... and i even know who all the people are....

does every one need a diagram??? :P

[Rae's World]

I got lost...but I figured it out and sometimes just unloading the problem helps us feel better and helps us see it in a different light. And I don't think you did any thing wrong. It is a fine line to walk but in the end you are being true to your self (being honest) and remember your friend would be really mad when she DID find out and she knew the you knew and did NOT say anything. So you are good. It is easier to forgive the messenger Good luck!!!

[breakingbrie]

I with you! lol. I see what you're saying. Honestly if it were me, I'd be bummed too(person a), but I'd much rather know that person d was spreading stuff I say thinking it was in confidence(is that the right word?) to everyone else - and being so nasty about it. Yea, I'd rather know if it were me. Sorry you've gotta deal with so much drama! I hope you don't have to deal with person d being nasty to you now that you've told what she's been doing I'm not big on drama, I don't like it. But at least person a asked you what was up, it's not like you were just running back to her with 'omg, you won't believe what person d is doing', ya know?

[jessica31876]

OK I kinda get what you are saying and I think it was right to say something especially if you were asked directly. It is probably hurtful to Person A to find out everything she confided to Person D is being spread out to everyone and possibly even elaborated on what she actaully said which it sounds like she was doing. People like that just SUCK though and just need to be told to get a life because all that gossipy crap should stop once you get out of high school you know? Anyhow for what its worth I think you did the right thing if for nothing more Person A will know not to be so open with Person D about personal/private things.

[MommaTrish]

((raises hand)) needs diagram I think...

but I think (if I try not to think too hard) I'm maybe understanding it, but just because there's a slightly similar situation going on with some of my mom's friends.
But yeah, I really hate it when someone acts all supportive and such but is really just trying to dig up more dirt to spread around.

[gypsystar]

I think it I got it all without a diagram !

I think you did the right thing! It just doesn't seem right for A to confide and pour her heart out to D if D is going to turn around and gossip about it. I'm so very not confrontational and hate drama of any sort but I think I would have had a hard time not telling A what was going on. At least this way she won't keep thinking that D is some great friend she can trust.

I'm sorry all of that has made you feel bad (hugs)! it's hard to be in that situation!

[Shawna Clingerman]

thanks girls

yeah, i was really hesitant to say anything because i didn't want to be gossiping about the gossiping, but i figered if she asked me point blank she deserved the truth... i'm sad for her but i don't think she is upset with me, where as, if i lied to her about it she WOULD have had reson to be.

you guys deserve an award for just making it through that post! LOL

[lauren grier]

darling.. i love you. but that really hurt my head hahahah

anyway, i tend to stay out of things- because.. well i just can't be bothered. I yell @ you about peoples choices.. and then i ignore it. SOo.. I probably wouldn't have said anything to (A) other than telling her to take it up with (D) but.. I don't think you did anything wrong either. It sucks that (D) is being so stinky. :[

[scrapperjade]

I understood what you were saying. Basically A started dating B that was sorta seeing C. So A's bff D started blabbing to the whole alphabet things that A told her in confidence.

I think you were right to tell A what you knew. It must have been hard for her to hear (and you to tell her), but she needed to know. It'll save her less heart ache and embarrasment in the long run.

Hugs! I've had my fair share of drama - and it sucks!

[jaylensmom]

ok i actually understood it does that mean i understand DRAMA

I think you did the right thing...you didn't go tell her that d was talking about her...she asked you a question and you gave her an honest answer...and even if you would've told her d shouldn't be mad because she shouldn't be gossipping about someone who is confiding in her...

[Lyd]

Yeah - just have to echo what everyone else said. If she asked you right out, it's best that you told her. Now, if she feels like she needs to confide in someone, at least she knows she can trust YOU!

[Giseli Freitas]

1st: to me b/c I could understand all this and I'm not a English speaker, but I'm kinda fluent in DRAMA myself, so...
The thing is now you're more evolved than you wanted, so maybe this means more DRAMA on your way (((HUGS))), but in other hand person A deserves to know. And what about person D? Spreading stuff about people who tell her things in confidence? Lame.
Here where I live we call this kind of situation like: "the garbage criticizing the smelly one".
(((HUGS)))

[Priscilla]

HUGS

I think I got that straight and YA! Totall sucks to be in the middle like that..

well....

not that you are in the middle.....

but maybe that would make it better?! you know if ...

okay

nevermind

hahahah

I am not reallly meaning to make light of what is going on - just trying to make you giggle ((HUGS and kisses))

[Shawna Clingerman]

LMAO, pricilla, i actually laughed out loud!

sigh yeah... i'm right there in the thick of things even if not by choice... and i love that about the stinky garbage, thats so what this is! LOL

[g8rbeckie]

I am a firm believer in doing the right thing...you know, that thing that is hard but lets you walk away knowing you acted with utmost integrity?

I think that's what you did here, Shawna! so good job. And frankly, who cares if anyone else gets mad? you busted a horrible friend for being horrible.

Of course, I don't have a lot of girlfriends and I'm very good at letting that stuff roll right off my back...so perhaps I'm not the best help here!

[kendallt]

I def think you did the right thing. I mean she point blank asked you, so there was really nothing else you could do but tell her the truth. Plus, I agree that person D really needs to get what's coming to her. I detest fake people! Yes, person A is hurt and upset, but you actually did her a huge favor by letting her know who her true friends are. She was only going to get hurt even worse by continuing to be friends with and confide in D.

You're a good person, girl! I know it sucks to be caught up in stuff like this, but sometimes you just get sucked in and have to deal with it the best way you know how. It seems to me that's what you did.

[ColleenSwerb]

You were absolutely right to tell A that D was being shady, because she was.

I've sort of been in a similar situation (I was person A, not confiding in person D but person D was a roommate and I dated her bf's best friend, but person D was spreading nonsensical crap about me to persons E through M, and I found out and then everyone else found out that D was spreading lies and then everyone turned on D and she transferred colleges).

Either way, regardless of the additional drama that will probably ensue, you did the right thing. Once the truth gets out, the fires of lies flare up but then die out pretty quickly.

[Sheana]

I followed along, but maybe that's because I'm a super rambly person. Anyway, I would have done the same thing as you. D was being shady and A has every right to know. (HUGS)

[emmasmommy]

i gotta chime in shawna. I don't reallly know you but i know enough that you're not a spiteful, mean person. you totally did the right thing. i'm a VERY firm believer if you ask me something you're getting an honest answer, whether it be the answer you want or not. not necessarily asking for drama but, if you ask for my opinion, you're going to get it type deal. i figure, if she didn't really wanna know, she wouldn't have asked. *shrug* just me.

[sevenupps]

You did the right thing! Friend A will thank you in the long run and friend D needed to be stopped. It was a brave thing to do!

[Shawna Clingerman]

thanks so much girls!

[carriesmom]

Just agreeing with everyone. You were asked point blank and you told the truth which is what a good person does. Shadiness will just beget more shadiness and everyone would have been worse off. Now Person A can deal with Person D's actions head on with all the information.

[~Julie~]

I agree with everyone else. You did the right thing. ((Hugs))

[DawnMarch]

I would have told her too. I think people should know when their so-called friends are being hurtful behind their back. I know exactly what you mean about crossing the line -- there is the usual chatting and even griping about each other that we all do among groups of friends, and then there is nasty gossip and backbiting that should NOT occur among friends.

[scrapmonkey]

I followed and agree with your actions. Hopefully, A won't think you are trying to dis D - you know you are being truthful and opening up her eyes. Honestly, she'd probably be more hurt if she found out some other way about D's nasty behavior and found out you knew about it all along and didn't tell her - then she'd feel like she was betrayed by more than one friend.
D needs to know that what she did was wrong as a "friend" - otherwise she's going to end up with no friends in the long run...

[Stacey42]

She asked you directly. Your only other option was to lie or evade. Sooner or later someone would have told her about what D was saying & then A would have also been mad at you for not telling her the truth at the time. It sucks to be the one doing it, I know. But you didn't bring it up, you were asked. I don't see as how you had any other choice but to tell her what D was saying. It's not easy to hear but she needed to know.

[crecia27]

I think I may be confused, but at the end of the day I think you did the right thing! Poor A is having a hard enough time and doesn't need someone she trusts stabbing her in the back! I'm betting it was hard to tell her, but you are such a good friend to do that!

[Balinda]

well after giggling about your novel...and not the situation I actually did follow what you are saying.
If A asked you about D then she probably had some idea that things were weird and figured you would be straight up honest with her...I know if I got up the nerve to ask why about something I would want the truth...the good, bad and the ugly.
Now if D gets all bent out of shape with you being HONEST and a true friend to A then who needs a friend like D...I mean really with a friend like D....you can't afford an enemy.
So yes...I wholeheartedly believe you did the right thing no matter what the fallout might be. It's the quality of your friendships that matter not the quantity of friends.
((((((And big hugs to ya too!))))))

[lovely1m]

You did the right thing. Nuff said. Hugs!

[meganmecrazy]

YOWZA! I think I need some motrin now! LOL! After reading it over a few times to figure it out lol I would have told her too! TOTALLY! If it was me I would want to be told. Sucks though.

[Ebony]

Wow that whole situation is very messy. Sure you don't want to sell the rights to Fox? Haha, I joke I joke. I think you did the right thing. I would have already blown up at D for being such a frenemy to A, but this way they can sort things out. I just hope that both of them don't decide it is YOUR fault they are fighting. Ahh, this is why I am very particular about my gf's. They can be so two faced.

I hope it all works out for the best and that you feel alot better for getting it off your chest, we love you Shawna

[Chantal Miller]

Firstly, lotsa hugs and yes, I would have done what you did in this situation.

But more importantly... Check Shawna, Jayden condensed your first 2 paragraphs into 2 sentences.

[krystalhartley]

Originally Posted by scrapperjade

I understood what you were saying. Basically A started dating B that was sorta seeing C. So A's bff D started blabbing to the whole alphabet things that A told her in confidence.

That's cracks me up!!

[Shawna Clingerman]

Originally Posted by Chantal Miller

But more importantly... Check Shawna, Jayden condensed your first 2 paragraphs into 2 sentences.

LMAO! I know seriously! Maybe I need to send her a draft of all my posts to whittle down before I post them in the future!

[junebug]

i kept up with it, lol. i think you did the right thing. i would have told her too and would want someone to tell me. it sucks being in the middle. but you're a better friend to "A" than "D" is to "A".

[Heather Roselli]

I think you did the right thing. You stayed out of it as much as you could since it wasn't your business, but when person A asked you point blank, well she made it your business, yk? And you weren't going to lie. I say well done! (((hugs)))