Moms of ADHD kids - help please

[jacinda]

The son of a good friend of mine has recently been diagnosed with ADHD. He is 5 years old. They will start him on Ritalin (?) next week. She's still in the process of accepting the diagnosis, and is not 100% certain he needs the meds, but they're going to follow the Dr's advice and give it a try. I think a lot of her worries stem from the fact she really doesn't KNOW a lot about ADHD. I told her she needs to really research it, and find some ADHD forums where she can ask questions and get support. She's a little overwhelmed with it all right now (also has another son struggling with dyslexia), so I thought I would ask on her behalf.

What ADHD websites/forums would be good for her to join/look into?

Any help/advice is appreciated. Thank you so much.

[heathergw]

I highly highly highly recommend the book "Driven To Dristraction: recognizing and coping with attention deficit disorder from childhood through adulthood" by Dr. Hallowell and Dr. Ratey

It's written by two drs with ADHD, and is seriously sooooooo helpful and focuses on the positives of the "disorder" which really isn't a disorder but a different way the brain works from what people consider the "norm"... It dispels common myths, has coping tools and helps parents with great tips...

My therapist recommended it to me after she diagnosed me with ADHD... She saw it within a couple minutes on my first meeting with her when I thought I was dealing with PPD... seriously the book is soooo helpful and has answered many of my questions from childhood

I don't go to any forums or websites... I just reference the book... and I know it's hard understand but starting meds was an instant change for me and I haven't felt so alive and myself and being able to do things like read books without frustration or having to read it several times

[Ronisdragon]

http://www.chadd.org/
This is a great organization! If you become a member they send you a great magazine about ADHD with strategies, tips, and the latest research. They also have conferences. I went to one of the conferences and it was very helpful and informative. The organization also helped my mom to get appropriate services for for my brother about 25 years ago. I'm sure someone there can help your friend. They have tons of info! Good luck to her! She is lucky to have such a good friend in you!

[rach3975]

I don't have any good resources to recommend, but I'll say that starting my 6-year old DS on Focalin XR last month has made an amazing difference. He hasn't had any side effects, he's completing schoolwork that he couldn't focus long enough to get through (homework takes 15 minutes instead of an hour ), and he's able to think before he acts so he isn't getting in trouble at school anymore. And my DS has a lot of diagnoses other than ADHD, so we were amazed at how much the medication is helping. You can even see a big difference between the hours the meds are working (about 8 am-5 pm) and the hours before and after.

[kscwgirl]

I will 2nd the book heather recommended. She recommended it to me when J was diagnosed a couple months ago. putting him on vyvanse is the best thing I've ever done.

[MommaTrish]

I actually got a lot of my advice and support here. lol

Has she tried helping him manage without medicine? We tried changing his diet, how we reacted to his behavior, modifying how we talked to Ryan and what all we asked of him, and when none of that had good lasting results - and he had 3 straight weeks of daily N's and U's - then we finally switched to medicine. And the medicine has been a HUGE help.

Things we still work on with him to help in the evenings/afternoons when his medicine is wearing off - go immediately to homework while medicine is still kicking, that energy burst when it wears off makes it impossible for him to concentrate on anything; we give him physical busy work so that he's not just bouncing off the walls (we also reinstated allowances for chores to get him to do the busy work); we've also found giving him more responsibilities has also helped him a lot. He is in charge of listening for Mason to wake up from his last nap and then keeping an eye on him while I make dinner.

Not to say we don't still have rough days. Days he forgets to take his medicine are bad school days for him, he always gets U's on those days. If we have to go somewhere and can't get home to do homework right after school we have problems. We try not to go anywhere around 5-6 when his medicine has finally fully worn off because he is bouncing off the walls then. That's also the time most likely that him and his brother will get into fights which happen more often now because Ryan annoys him so much when the medicine wears off.

[nun69]

Peyton (5 years old as well) just got diagnosed with ADHD on Oct 18th, so I am still in the learning phase as well....putting Peyton on medication (he takes Concerta 18 mg in the am and Ritalin 5 mg around 2 hours before bedtime...a stimulant cause calm their brain down so they can fall asleep as well) and boy what a difference he has had since being on the meds....almost like night and day!
I was recommended this book (by a coworker that had a child with ADHD) and even though I have only gotten through a few pages, it seems pretty good.....

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/055...ls_o04_s00_i00

so tell your friend, be her son's advocate and let her know she is NOT ALONE!!!!!! Like Heather said, people with ADD/ADHD, their brains are just wired differently

eta: my son is EXACYLY like Trish's son...down to the tee.....when his medication wears off he is almost LITERALLY bouncing off the walls....

[QuiltyMom]

I have two with either ADD or ADHD/Aspergers. We've been through it all and are STILL going through it. I ditto the sites already listed. I can understand her hesitation about the meds, but coming from someone who's been dealing with this for 13 years, well, the meds have been a blessing. They give the child the ability to focus on the tasks at hand, rather than trying to focus on the ability ot focus on the tasks at hand. At first I didn't want the meds, but have realized they have been a lifesaver.

We do the mostly organic/no preservatives or additives diet with them (thank goodness for Trader Joe's!), and it has made a great difference to their daily life. Also, NO red food dye #40 or BHT. At all! Those two chemicals are NASTY with terrible side effects.

The one thing we did with my DS was Neurofeedback. It did have a positive effect for about 3 years. (Note: if you want to try this route you need to be REALLY careful, because if the practitioner isn't good, they can do more harm than good. Here's where we went if you want more informtion on what it's all about: Better Brain Center.) Now that he is in the midst of puberty it's thrown everything out of whack again, so we're starting a new protocol.

Tell here she's not alone, that it's okay to question but that she also needs to be open to meds and whatever else may be good for her child. It's so different for every child, and it takes patience to get through it all.

[jacinda]

This is SO helpful. Thanks for all the input. I'm copy/pasting the responses to her, and she appreciates the advice.