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Old 04-01-2011, 06:23 PM
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Default The Help-Discussion *May Contain Spoilers*

Feel free to discuss the book. I will be back to add my two cents and some questions soon
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Old 04-01-2011, 07:18 PM
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I've read it! Sooooo good!!
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Old 04-01-2011, 07:33 PM
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i read it too - but i think i need to reead it to properly discuss LOL it was a while ago and my memory is foggy ...
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Old 04-01-2011, 07:37 PM
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I read it a few months ago and really loved it. But I might read it again this month anyway.
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Old 04-01-2011, 07:51 PM
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I've never read it before, but I am listening to it now. I "read" through two chapters, and I think it's really hard to endure. It makes me sick to think about people really being so racist. I know that if I'd been taught that my whole life, I'd probably believe it too, but I'm SO thankful that I don't.
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Old 04-01-2011, 07:57 PM
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Just picked it up today from the library! Excited to start - hopefully I'll finish the book I'm currently reading this weekend!
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Old 04-01-2011, 09:13 PM
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I got it! Now just need to get rid of work stuff so I can read
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Old 04-01-2011, 11:24 PM
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i read it almost a year ago. i think i'll just go read a summary - i'm sure it will all come rushing back.
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Old 04-02-2011, 04:53 AM
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I'm going to make a start on it tonight!
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Old 04-02-2011, 11:57 AM
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i just picked it up at the library!!! i can't wait to get started on it this afternoon or tonight.
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Old 04-03-2011, 04:28 AM
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I loved reading this book, especially being Dutch it gave me a whole new understanding of what racism really looked like..
I even nominated this book for my real-life book group, but it wasn't chosen. They might have though it was too many pages, lol!
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Old 04-03-2011, 06:44 PM
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i have almost gotten this whole book read and i have really really enjoyed it! It has been very interesting to me and has made me stop and think quite a bit.
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Old 04-04-2011, 11:13 PM
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Hey, did I miss hte part about her big date? I'm listening to it, so I can't go back and figure out if I skipped a chapter or whatever.

ETA: Nevermind. I figured it out.
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Old 04-06-2011, 08:09 AM
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I picked it up from the library yesterday and now that my final assignment for now is done I'll get stuck in to it
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Old 04-09-2011, 11:38 AM
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do we have a plan on how we are going to discuss? i have been in groups where we discuss chapter by chapter and then some where you discuss the whole book once everyone has read it. i want to start talking about it but i dont want to spoil it for anyone..LOL!
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Old 04-10-2011, 10:22 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by scrappinsweetie View Post
do we have a plan on how we are going to discuss? i have been in groups where we discuss chapter by chapter and then some where you discuss the whole book once everyone has read it. i want to start talking about it but i dont want to spoil it for anyone..LOL!
feel free to start talking..there's a spoiler warning on the topic so hopefully anybody that reads this thread will come in knowing they might be spoiled. I didn't set it up chapter by chapter mainly bc we don't have a weekly meeting time like a regular book club so we're all at different points in the book.
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Old 04-11-2011, 09:01 AM
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Meg, I feel so surprised that you don't have us organized with a solid plan. ; ) I was dying to talk about it when I finished it, but now I'm not sure I remember exactly what happened...

If someone else says something, I'm sure it will jog my memory!
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Old 04-11-2011, 11:59 AM
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(Actual questions from the Author's website for book club discussion)

Posted just for you Kellie I'll bb with my answers

1. Who was your favorite character? Why?

2. What do you think motivated Hilly? On the one hand she is terribly cruel to Aibileen and her own help, as well as to Skeeter once she realizes that she can’t control her. Yet she’s a wonderful mother. Do you think that one can be a good mother but, at the same time, a deeply flawed person?

3. Like Hilly, Skeeter’s mother is a prime example of someone deeply flawed yet somewhat sympathetic. She seems to care for Skeeter— and she also seems to have very real feelings for Constantine. Yet the ultimatum she gives to Constantine is untenable; and most of her interaction with Skeeter is critical. Do you think Skeeter’s mother is a sympathetic or unsympathetic character? Why?

4. How much of a person’s character would you say is shaped by the times in which they live?

5. Did it bother you that Skeeter is willing to overlook so many of Stuart’s faults so that she can get married, and that it’s not until he literally gets up and walks away that the engagement falls apart?

6. Do you believe that Minny was justified in her distrust of white people?

7. Do you think that had Aibileen stayed working for Miss Elizabeth, that Mae Mobley would have grown up to be racist like her mother? Do you think racism is inherent, or taught?

8. From the perspective of a twenty-first century reader, the hairshellac system that Skeeter undergoes seems ludicrous. Yet women still alter their looks in rather peculiar ways as the definition of “beauty” changes with the times. Looking back on your past, what’s the most ridiculous beauty regimen you ever underwent?

9. The author manages to paint Aibileen with a quiet grace and an aura of wisdom about her. How do you think she does this?

10. Do you think there are still vestiges of racism in relationships where people of color work for people who are white?

11. What did you think about Minny’s pie for Miss Hilly? Would you have gone as far as Minny did for revenge?
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Old 04-11-2011, 12:36 PM
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So I don't know about you guys but Hilly really got under my skin! I just couldn't stand her snooty better than thou attitude. When she convinced Miss Elizabeth to get that toilet put in I about died. I mean com'on Elizabeth have a backbone. But who am I to talk I didn't grow up back then in the South. I loved Aibileen and Minnie. Whenever they talked about food I got hungry and suddenly had an urge to cook, but not chocolate pie lol! I don't think I can ever look at that dessert the same I know this isn't very deep book discussion on my part but it's been awhile since I read it. Overall I thoroughly enjoyed the book .
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Old 04-11-2011, 01:50 PM
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I finished the book this weekend, so I'll take a look at the questions and come back with some thoughts soon. Can't wait to see what everyone else thought about it.
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Old 04-11-2011, 09:29 PM
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I just got this tonight and read a few pages. So far, so good. I kinda skipped over Meg's questions as I didn't really want to spoil anything for myself.....lol.
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Old 04-12-2011, 01:56 AM
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Finished over the weekend - definitely a great read! I'll think about the questions more and write down my answers
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Old 04-13-2011, 09:59 AM
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Wow, I loved this book. It was very thought provoking. I grew up in Arkansas in the 70s and some of those stereotypes still existed then.

My grandfather was born and raised in Mississippi and I remember him taking me to my school's open house. My parents took my sister to hers because she went to a different school. So, my grandparents took me to mine. I was SO excited to have them meet my new friend Mimi. She and I were thick as thieves and I was so excited to introduce her to my grammy and grampy.

Mimi comes up, and I get so excited. I introduce her to my grandparents and they immediately grab my arm and tell me we're going home. I was so sad and didn't understand what had made them so angry. All the way home, they told me I was to never play with her again, and if I did, they would whip me hard. I went into my house crying and so sad. After much coercion from my parents, I told them the story. My parents were livid, not at me, at my grandpa.

I remember my daddy and grandpa getting a huge fight and my daddy telling him that he didn't give a darn if Mimi was black. She was my friend and made me happy and that's all that mattered to him. The last thing my daddy said to my grandpa that night was that he isn't raising bigots and racists and his kids will be friends with who they want.

I was so proud of my daddy that night, and got a big lesson in racism.
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Old 04-13-2011, 10:21 AM
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1. Who was your favorite character? Why?
I loved Minnie because she was so awesome. She reminded me of a friend my parents had in Arkansas named Jessie. Jessie was also black and very outspoken like Minnie. Plus, I thought Minnie's act of revenge on Hilly was epic!! ROFL

2. What do you think motivated Hilly? On the one hand she is terribly cruel to Aibileen and her own help, as well as to Skeeter once she realizes that she can’t control her. Yet she’s a wonderful mother. Do you think that one can be a good mother but, at the same time, a deeply flawed person?
I think Hilly is a power driven, socialite that thinks more of her social standing in the community than anything else. If she can't control you, then she'll do what she can to bring you down. I certainly think it's possible to be a good mother and have the same flaws. My step-grandpa was highly racist. He was a member of the KKK. But, when my parents laid down the law with him and told him that he was NOT to put those ideas in our heads or even to discuss it, he was a good grandpa. He respected my parents, and the issue of race was never mentioned again, after my incident with Mimi that I mentioned in an earlier post.

3. Like Hilly, Skeeter’s mother is a prime example of someone deeply flawed yet somewhat sympathetic. She seems to care for Skeeter— and she also seems to have very real feelings for Constantine. Yet the ultimatum she gives to Constantine is untenable; and most of her interaction with Skeeter is critical. Do you think Skeeter’s mother is a sympathetic or unsympathetic character? Why?
I think Skeeter's mother is more concerned with her social standing than anything else. I think she genuinely cared for Constantine, but when Lulabelle started threatening her status in front of the DAR ladies, she did what she had to do to get rid of the problem. Also, southern women at that time were very concerned about their daughters marrying right and having a good social standing. Skeeter was pretty much considered an old maid because she was 23 and not married.

4. How much of a person’s character would you say is shaped by the times in which they live? Oh, I think a lot of it is. If you see it in everyday life, you're going to begin to acclimate to it and think it's normal.

5. Did it bother you that Skeeter is willing to overlook so many of Stuart’s faults so that she can get married, and that it’s not until he literally gets up and walks away that the engagement falls apart?
No, I think Skeeter was looking past his faults because she was conditioned to think that for her to have any value as an adult in her 20s that she needed to married and have children. My grandma was taught that, and married my grandfather. She was miserable the entire time in their marriage and left him after four years. It wasn't because my biological grandpa was a bad man, it was because she was taught that you get married and have kids, and that wasn't what she wanted to do with her life.

6. Do you believe that Minny was justified in her distrust of white people?
Definitely! She had been mistreated before and she built a guard around herself to protect herself from it. Plus, look how the black people were being treated back then.

7. Do you think that had Aibileen stayed working for Miss Elizabeth, that Mae Mobley would have grown up to be racist like her mother? Do you think racism is inherent, or taught?
I don't think Mae Mobley would have been racist at all. She was already exhibiting signs that it didn't matter to her. I think racism is taught. Even though my parents sheltered us from it, and didn't allow it when my grandparents were around, I knew they were racists and I certainly could have been a racist growing up around them. My grandparents were highly racist and for the most part, respected my parents wishes, but there were times a racial slur would slip out when we were around. My grandpa was in the KKK and my grandma always called them the N word and she even went as far as to say that were responsible for AIDS. But, my mother was her daughter, and my mother didn't raise us to think that way at all. She taught us to respect all people and that there was good in everyone.

8. From the perspective of a twenty-first century reader, the hairshellac system that Skeeter undergoes seems ludicrous. Yet women still alter their looks in rather peculiar ways as the definition of “beauty” changes with the times. Looking back on your past, what’s the most ridiculous beauty regimen you ever underwent?
Actually, I never got into the fad stuff. The raciest thing I've done is have my hair highlighted.

9. The author manages to paint Aibileen with a quiet grace and an aura of wisdom about her. How do you think she does this?
I think she is drawing from her own experience. She says at the end that she had a maid when she was growing up. I think she based Aibileen on her.

10. Do you think there are still vestiges of racism in relationships where people of color work for people who are white?
Oh definitely!

11. What did you think about Minny’s pie for Miss Hilly? Would you have gone as far as Minny did for revenge?
OMGosh! I died laughing at that!! I would definitely not have gone that far, but I think it was classic.
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Old 04-13-2011, 02:19 PM
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i just now finished. since i'm at work, i'll answer tonight
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Old 04-13-2011, 04:47 PM
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Just finished earlier today. Loved it - and I'll try to get back later to say more of what I thought.
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Old 04-13-2011, 11:28 PM
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I read this book last year, and it was def a 5 start book for me! Here's a copy of my review I posted on GoodReads.com that does not contain any spoilers.

Excellent book. I really had no idea what it was about before reading it. It kills me about the racism that occurs in this book - and to know that it was part of our country's history - those parts were painful for me to read.
I love people, no matter what color they are, and it kills me to see anything different. I'm grateful for some of the positive stories that were portrayed between the different races of people and pray that some relationships like these actually existed in this time, since this is a historical fiction story.

I love the 3 ladies points of view this book is told from. Since I have never lived in the South, it took me a minute to get used to the heavy southern accents they speak in. It's written how a southern accent would sound, not how the word is actually spelled - but I do feel it authenticates the characters and was necessary.

Since this is not a flowery book (like I normally tend to read, lol) it didn't have a flowery ending, yet it was a good ending with people dealing and living with the natural consequences of their decisions, which I liked. I grew very attached to the three main characters (the story is told from their POV's), they were just awesome!

Also, there's an interesting author's note at the end of the book - that was good to read and understand why she chose to write this book and her history with this subject and time period.
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Old 04-18-2011, 10:07 AM
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I devoured this book over the weekend. When I started it friday afternoon, I wasn't sure I was going to like it, or even finish it. But in typical stubborn fashion, I plowed right on ahead and then couldn't put it down!

While I obviously knew about the racism that existed in this country at that time, some of the specifics that were brought up were just incredible to me. I mean, they REALLY thought that black people had different diseases that would kill while people. They really thought that black people were no better than animals. Such a heart-breaking thing to read about it. The book may be historical fiction in the specific stories it told, but I think that the attitudes and beliefs were drawn straight from experience and were true.

I think that Hilly is no different than many women/people in our country today. Stubborn, and unwilling to accept anything as true unless it's written down and proven as fact. Those were actual laws at the time, and that meant they were to be followed to the letter, without question. Thinking about it now, it's very relevant to the times. The same sort of thinking leads to bombings of abortion clinics, and riots over gay rights. (To be clear, I'm not saying anyone who doesn't believe in abortion or gay rights is like Hilly. I fully believe that you have the right to believe whatever you want. Hilly viciously acted out on her beliefs though, that's the comparison I'm making. I hope I don't blow up the book club bringing this up, lol.)

Ok, enough free writing before I get in trouble :P Here are some answers to the questions.
Who was your favorite character? Why?
I really enjoyed Skeeter. I connected to her character on a few levels.

How much of a person’s character would you say is shaped by the times in which they live?
I think a persons character is shaped to degrees by the times/society, and their upbringing and experiences. Skeeter was surrounded by blatant racists, was constantly prodded with racists remarks by her mother who was just trying to "teach her" how it is, yet her love for Constantine crossed that line and showed her that color didn't matter. It's like the old nature vs nurture arguement. It's not one or the other, it's a combination of both. We are all taught things as we grow up, it's once we reach the age to make our own decisions where we can disregard those things once seen as "fact" and form our own opinion.

Did it bother you that Skeeter is willing to overlook so many of Stuart’s faults so that she can get married, and that it’s not until he literally gets up and walks away that the engagement falls apart?
I think we all overlook faults in people. You forgive and overlook the ones you can, and if you can't look past it, you move on. I think it's also important to remember that Stuart was Skeeters first relationship. I think we all do crazy things for love in the very beginning, when we're naive and don't know any better. When we think this is IT, this is true love, this is the only person who will ever know me and accept me. She maybe have been 24 or so, but she was just a teenager really, when it came to that relationship. She didn't know any better. Like Paula said, she was taught that women get married and have kids. She was left by herself at college practically, because all her friends found men and dropped out before they graduated. The combination of feeling desperate (that pressure from her mother!), and just not knowing any better lead them to that moment. I just thank god she had the good sense to tell him the truth, and then accept that he walked away.

Do you believe that Minny was justified in her distrust of white people?
She had no reason to trust white people. They never did right by her (until Celia/Johnny/Skeeter anyway). I don't blame her one bit.

Do you think there are still vestiges of racism in relationships where people of color work for people who are white?
I think racism still exists period. I don't think it's everywhere, or as prevalent as it was, but I think it still exists.

What did you think about Minny’s pie for Miss Hilly? Would you have gone as far as Minny did for revenge?
I think Minny got her revenge in the only way she knew how. I don't know how she could have gotten revenge in any other way. I thought it was hilarious, but I don't think I could ever do the same, lol!
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Old 04-18-2011, 09:47 PM
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the movie trailer is out...seems pretty good! A good one to watch after reading I think
http://video.aol.com/aolvideo/movief...1/909579664001
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Old 04-21-2011, 05:26 PM
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Ooh I love the actresses they went with!!
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Old 04-21-2011, 07:39 PM
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I had no idea there were making a movie about this, too! That looks awesome! I will so be going to that in August!

BTW, is it just me, or are they making every book a movie?
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Old 04-24-2011, 03:13 PM
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I've been hesitant to post..trying to wrap my brain around how this book makes me feel. Sadly it paints a sad, honest picture of what Mississippi (and the entire South) was like during that time.

I was born in 1974 so unfortunately not long enough for tempers and feelings to really sort themselves out in Mississippi and so I can unfortunately remember stories very similar to the ones in the book. My parents don't talk much about what it was like to be teens and young adults during those years. My mom will occasionally remember when they finally desegregrated her school..(not until 1972!)

I do believe rascism is taught. My parents and their parents were raised in a society that was wrong in their beliefs..

But those same people..my parents and grandparents raised me to believe that all people are equal...so I like to think that most intelligent people around here just "got it"..they realized that how they were raised was wrong and they went about raising my generation to be better. Now that doesn't mean there aren't still ignorant rascist people here and everywhere else for that matter. But Mississippi today is nothing like Mississippi in the sixties.

But I loved this book...I loved the characters..I loved reading about things and places in my own "back yard"...and thinking of how this was really only 50 years ago and how much things have changed..in society, in the way women (white or black) were treated then and now.

Can't wait to see the movie
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Old 04-28-2011, 04:42 PM
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Okay, I've been sick, so this might not make much sense. I apologize in advance.

1. Who was your favorite character? Why?

I liked Aibileen and Skeeter the best. They were the most real to me and the most likable.

2. What do you think motivated Hilly? On the one hand she is terribly cruel to Aibileen and her own help, as well as to Skeeter once she realizes that she can’t control her. Yet she’s a wonderful mother. Do you think that one can be a good mother but, at the same time, a deeply flawed person?

I think Hilly was motivated by her desire to control everyone and anything she could. She treated her children lovingly, because they were her children and listened to her. She was cruel to those she thought were beneath her and those who openly disagreed with her. I think someone can be a good mother and still be a horrible human being. Just like someone can be a wonderful human being and a lousy mother.

3. Like Hilly, Skeeter’s mother is a prime example of someone deeply flawed yet somewhat sympathetic. She seems to care for Skeeter— and she also seems to have very real feelings for Constantine. Yet the ultimatum she gives to Constantine is untenable; and most of her interaction with Skeeter is critical. Do you think Skeeter’s mother is a sympathetic or unsympathetic character? Why?

I don’t really like Skeeter’s mother. Overly critical mothers have always rubbed me the wrong way. If you can’t say anything nice to your daughter, don’t open your mouth. This is your child; there must be some thing you can say about her that is positive and won’t make her question every little thing she does, because she doesn’t want to offend or upset or have to deal with you.

4. How much of a person’s character would you say is shaped by the times in which they live?

I think it depends on the person. Some people are more likely to try new things, think in new ways and push against the establishment, while others are more than happy to follow the lead and traditions of those in their family or community.

5. Did it bother you that Skeeter is willing to overlook so many of Stuart’s faults so that she can get married, and that it’s not until he literally gets up and walks away that the engagement falls apart?

Not really. During many parts of history, a woman is nothing until she’s married. Many women have overlooked major faults to be married. They do what they think is right.

6. Do you believe that Minny was justified in her distrust of white people?

I think Minny had very valid reasons for distrusting white people. Very few white people were ever kind to her, but at the same time, I think she was doing her children a disservice by passing on such negative thoughts. Not all white people were evil and yet her daughter had learned a serious hatred towards them.

7. Do you think that had Aibileen stayed working for Miss Elizabeth, that Mae Mobley would have grown up to be racist like her mother? Do you think racism is inherent, or taught?

I think it’s a possibility. While Mae Mobley loved Aibileen as a child, she would grow up watching her mother treating Aibileen with indifference and as beneath her. If Aibileen wasn’t black, Mae Mobley may have just assumed it was how you treat a maid, but the only maids she knew were black. I think racism is taught. I also think it’s part of human nature; the part of human nature that likes to categorize and classify things. Not necessarily the part of human nature that is evil, suspicious or mean. Humans like to classify things, even ourselves. It’s what makes us different and shows us we’re the same.

8. From the perspective of a twenty-first century reader, the hairshellac system that Skeeter undergoes seems ludicrous. Yet women still alter their looks in rather peculiar ways as the definition of “beauty” changes with the times. Looking back on your past, what’s the most ridiculous beauty regimen you ever underwent?

Honestly, I just read about a Brazilian blowout that takes 3 hours and supposedly lasts weeks. So, it doesn’t seem that ludicrous. I have sat for hours to get the most hideous perm that fell out about a week later. I also sit in my bathroom with my head covered in foul-smelling goo because I feel like changing its color again. These don’t really seem all that ridiculous to me, but then again, I’ve never spent 5 hours getting my haircut.

9. The author manages to paint Aibileen with a quiet grace and an aura of wisdom about her. How do you think she does this?

I think she pulls from the women she’s known in her life – her own maid, maybe her mother, a mentor, any woman who dealt with a situation that was bigger than herself and survived.

10. Do you think there are still vestiges of racism in relationships where people of color work for people who are white?


Yes, I also think there are still vestiges of racism in relationships where white people work for those of color. It goes both ways. There are hurt feelings, family stories and pop culture feeding into these feelings of resentment. It’s not right. Everyone talks of acceptance and so few are able to really push away what they’ve been taught.

11. What did you think about Minny’s pie for Miss Hilly? Would you have gone as far as Minny did for revenge?


I thought Minny’s pie was disgusting. It’s kinda funny, but it’s a whole lot gross. I’m not really big on revenge, but I would have had to do something to Miss Hilly, if she had ever treated me like that.
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Old 04-29-2011, 02:09 PM
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Sorry to OT, but you got me totally interested. Will get this book for sure. Thanks!
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Old 05-01-2011, 01:31 PM
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So I took my Mum to see The King's Speech in a nearby multiplex, and on our way home we went for coffee to a bookshop. They had a collection of English books, so I stopped at the appropriate shelf, not really remembering the title or the author of this one, and bingo! It was like the third book I spotted. So I told to myself it was definitely waiting for me. Can't wait to start. Thanks again for inspiring me.
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Old 05-01-2011, 03:47 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by adrianka View Post
So I took my Mum to see The King's Speech in a nearby multiplex, and on our way home we went for coffee to a bookshop. They had a collection of English books, so I stopped at the appropriate shelf, not really remembering the title or the author of this one, and bingo! It was like the third book I spotted. So I told to myself it was definitely waiting for me. Can't wait to start. Thanks again for inspiring me.
ohh hope you like it

and wasn't that a FAB movie! I loved it!
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Old 05-02-2011, 09:10 AM
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Originally Posted by FlirtatiousBrat View Post
ohh hope you like it

and wasn't that a FAB movie! I loved it!
I love the book! I stayed up until 1:30 a.m. reading it. :-) So far I'm on page 120 and it's really a good read. Will definitely watch all other books in the Club from now on, and hopefully can join the others sooner than a month ex post (even though it's not really important as long as I enjoy the book). :-)

And yes, The King's Speech is fabulous - it was the second time I saw it, and I wanted Mum to see it because I knew she'd like it.
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Old 05-03-2011, 07:36 AM
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After I read this book, it was instantly on my top 5 of all-time books...and for me that's saying something! The depths of these characters was just amazing. I loved Minny so much and Aibileen just kept the story going so beautifully. Those country club women...I swear, were the devil himself! I loved all the storylines, but Miss Celia was my favorite.

I wanna mention that I listened to this on audiobook. It truly brought the story to life and I honestly don't know if I would have loved it as much as I did without HEARING those voices. It's wasn't a full cast, but each main character had it's own actor. It was amazing.

I'll check out the questions and see what I come up with...
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Old 05-04-2011, 07:08 AM
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Just finished the book and I'm still full of impressions. It was definitely worth reading, as it was both food for thought and a page-turner. I'm very glad to have discovered it thanks to this thread.
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