NSBR: Have you ever felt like a loser?

[Hom74]

haha...I know this is like really, really minor, but I have a sinking feeling that no one's going to come to DD1's bday party on May 10th .

I went in to her class and gave one of her teacher's her stack of bday invites for everyone in her class. As I was waiting for the teacher (waiting for the drive-through line to be done with lol) I was looking at the wall and noticed that there's a boy in her class that has a birthday on May 11th. *ugh* bad feeling in my stomach.

This is the 2nd year that DD1 has been at this pre-school, but last year she was in the afternoon class. I had noticed that she had only gotten 1 birthday invite this year, and she was actually the only classmate at that girl's party...may've only been 1 of 2 invited anyways. Her class last year was half the size yet she had gotten 4 bday invites by this time. I thought maybe parents didn't do it because it was a bigger class or something. I also wondered if she just wasn't on the 'invite list' because she was a 'new' student to the class. I noticed they didn't do a class contact sheet like they did last year

So DD had her invites passed out today. And already I've gotten 4 responses...4 "Sorry, we have other plans that day already". One of them from the birthday boy. *ugh* His mom mentioned that he was having a birthday party on that same day and time *ugh* I feel so bad b/c I don't want DD1 to feel sad. She was so excited to invite people to her birthday. My heart would break if no one was able to make it. And I knew it would be tough b/c it is the Saturday of Mother's Day weekend.

I seriously hate this whole planning thing. I picked the 10th b/c the 17th the park was booked (and this was back in the beginning of Feb!), the following week was Memorial Weekend and DH is in a softball tournament all weekend

*sigh* And I hate that I've already paid for the park reservation and the down payment on the entertainment. Oh well, and you know it won't stop me from trying to plan a party for her next year with her classmates lol. *sigh* I always kinda didn't like the kid's parties where it seemed more for the parent's...the parent's friends and families. She had so much fun last year w/her classmates and one of the parts she loved most about soccer last year was playing w/her classmates. Oh well!

Sorry for the long rant.

[Aggie Aviso]

Gosh Karen, I feel for you. Why dont you invite other kids your DD gets to interact with like Church, neighbors, etc?

Party planning for your kids' parties is hard!

[Amy Carey]

This is something I have always struggled with. I STINK at kids birthday parties and I never could get many people to come. I was so relieved once mine got older and would be happy with 1-2 people spending the night or going out to family dinner, etc because children's birthdays always stressed me out so
I hope your dd has a very happy birthday and you are pleasantly surprised with the way her party turns out.

[ZaCola3]

Awww Karen that stinks, If you were closer Landen and I would come and then you would have at least us!

I hope you are suprised and you get a few kiddos!

[newfiemountiewife]

That is so sad Karen! I had Benjamin's party, invited almost 30, and only 6 showed, NONE of people invited RSVPed at all, so I didn't even know what to plan. He was sad that most of his friends didn't show. I hope that you get a few that come, perhaps the girls would rather be at a girls party? ((hugs))

[bellbird425]

the timing is tough, especially given that boy had probably invited ppl first

i hate the whole popularity thing anyway and when on dd's b'day last year both her cousins got sick, i really thought about cancelling the party and i was just crushed for dd but y'know we had the family party regardless, she did the treasure hunt & played pin the tail and everything anyway (but mummy and another aunt pinned as well in the end!) and dd still loved it and i reminded myself that it's HER day and she'd still love the getting gifts and playing games thing anyway - might be different when u'r a little older, and dd was having a second party the day after with her playgroup friends so that made me feel a little better but i totally get what you're feeling and it's not minor or trivial, it's real and just unfair! (((hugs))) empathy rant over

[marnel]

Karen that stinks, I think it's the timing don't take it to heart I'm so bad then b/c I only let my 4 yr old invite 3 of her friends and thank gosh they all showed even though it was a lil chilly. Do they have friends, family, etc close by as Aggie suggested.
I know it's hard but if your dd is Happy with her big day then don't worry 'bout it
Hugs-Mary

[pbumbaca]

Awww, I'm sorry Karen. That stinks for you and DD! I always have my boys bday party together since their bdays are 2 days apart (not sure how long I'll get away with that) and only allow 5 kids each. That way I'm not having to remortgage the house and because I just don't believe in inviting the whole class. I think by limiting it the boys really invite who they actually play/hang with and those are more likely to show up. KWIM?

[nesser1981]

I always had that problem when I was a kid, there was another kid around my age and her b-day was the day before mine. Her mom let them get away with murder pretty much, so all the kids went to her house. Until I got to be a teenager and found better friends. LOL!

Hugs Karen, I'm sure she'll have a fun birthday no matter what.

[AmyM]

Similar thing happened to us last year. We passed out over 20 invitations to her 6th birthday party at the local arcade and a whopping 3 of those kids showed up. I too had already paid for it and only heard from 2 people. But, we had family and friends there so I guess that made it easier for her- just would have been nice if more kids had shown up

[meems]

aww, Karen, that's hard. Birthday parties are stressful (at least to me). I hope a few of her friends are able to make it.

[Hom74]

Originally Posted by Aggie Aviso

Gosh Karen, I feel for you. Why dont you invite other kids your DD gets to interact with like Church, neighbors, etc?

Party planning for your kids' parties is hard!

Yeah she does...but I wanted to keep the number down. For her 1st bday we invited the people we hung around with and including family, it's 150. We paired down for DD2's 1st bday, only invited family and it was around 80-ish lol. That's why after she started pre-school, I'd thought it'd be easier just to limit the invitee list to just her class. That way you don't have to decide, ok...she likes (or our family is closer to) this kid/family then this one. And I thought since she's so young that it's hard to tell her the 5 or so people you can invite and I thought it would be nice if everyone got invited in her class instead of a select few. And there are several kids she has a blast with at gymnastics and ballet, but again I didn't want to only invite some out of each group. When she is older I would rather limit the number, but it'll be easier then, hopefully, b/c she should know by then who she really feels is a good friend to her.

Sometimes I really wish I could've just stuck to what we did for her 2nd and 3rd birthday....go to an amusement park, just the 4 of us.

Now I just want to hurry up so that this thing is over so I don't have to keep worrying about it lol.

[uptowngirl]

I so loathe when people do not RSVP!! One of my biggest pet peeves!

I am sure you will get some to show up to the party. Even if it is only a few than that's just easier for you in the long run... I know that isn't very helpful but just trying to find the silve lining, etc.

[stayawake]

That's awful Karen!
I havn't tried having a party with anyone but family yet (oldest daughter will be turning three this summer...)mostly because I'm scared no one will show up too. And well, family is a lot easier to plan for and control than 6 or 7 little kids I don't know really well.
I hope that you can sort something out and that you and your daughter arn't too disappointed! There is no way you could have known there was a party the same day and time!

[my4boys]

Oh Karen, I am sorry this is happening to you and your DD, that really stinks. I hope it all works out OK for her though!!!!!

[SamaraGugler]

This happened at DS's 6th bday party. Only 1 kid showed up. You bet I was mad!!!!

Good luck and big hugs!

[DawnMarch]

Sometimes I really wish I could've just stuck to what we did for her 2nd and 3rd birthday....go to an amusement park, just the 4 of us.

This is mostly what we do. It "helps" that my kids birthdays are in the summer, so we have the excuse that everyone is out of town (which is pretty much true here in Phoenix). So, I let them pick where they want to go -- even a weekend out of town -- and that's what we do for their birthday. We've had a couple "real" parties here and there, but you sure don't have to do it every year.

[Stacey42]

I'm sorry for your DD Karen.
We do something with the birthday boy rather than have a party. They take cupcakes into school to share with their class on their b-day and they get to choose a family treat. Last year DS1 wanted to go to Great Wolf Lodge and this year he's already said he wants to go to the Baltimore Aquarium. Our close friends' 2 children have b-day the same month as DS1, so we often all go as group. When the boys get older I'll let them bring a friend or 2 along on the trip.

I don't do parties well. I find them stressful, so I avoid them. If one of the boys asked for one I'd suck it up and deal but right now they like what we're doing

[Becca Bonneville]

Aww I am sorry! That does stink! Same thing happened with my oldest son. So I started doing more of let's invite your best friend and do something fun thing. It costs to much to do all this elaborate stuff for a bunch of people to not show up. And it is a big let down for the kiddos too.

Hopefully it will all come together for you in the end!

[crecia27]

I feel for you! I hate inviting class friends for that very reason! I have found though, my kids enjoy it best when there are fewer kids there - they tend to get overwhelmed and are more likely to have a melt down if there is too much excitment. Um, not that I'm saying your Princess would EVER have a melt down!

[BrattyMeg]

aww (((Hugs))) Karen!! I hope some of DD's friends show up and y'all have a blast!!

[mormishmom]

I totally feel like that a lot! LOL Too bad your DD wouldn't love a virtual party - cuz we'd all be there!

[Mandy]

Oh Please! You are like the least of loser moms.
Wanna know something loser-ish?
I have thrown 1 birthday party for my 3 kids in their whole lives. I just don't do parties, can't handle the stress of planning and games and food. I just can't do it. We usually take them shopping for whatever they want, have their favorite dinner and dessert and do a movie or whatever.
Now THATS a loser for ya.
My poor kids....LOL.

[Julie Billingsley]

Aww, Karen, I'm sorry! ((hugs))
We just had Logan's 5th birthday party last Saturday and the event almost made me sick. I've decided I HATE parties! LOL... the cost, the not knowing how many kids are coming, buying stuff for goodie bags but not knowing how many to make, ugh! I sure hope that your daughter's birthday is still wonderful and that you're happily surprised with all the friends she has!

[beaucat]

For DS's party last year, hardly anyone RSVPed but almost everyone showed up! (Including one kid who told me their sibling was home throwing up - sigh. Nothing like potentially exposing an entire group of preschoolers to something.)

This year, DS is in a smaller class and only ONE of them has had a party this year. So, am not sure how his will go next month.

Angela

[twentytinytoes]

You sound like a great Mom, and I am sure your party would be fun! If we were close and invited we would come! I've never really had big parties for the kids, just family and one time a friend LOL When they start going to school I will prob invite more kids. I really hope they show and your daughter doesn't get hurt I think its sometimes worse on us parents when our kids are sad, cause we want so desperately to make them happy and we can't.

[my3hens]

Oh Karen hugs honey!! Seriously I understand how frustrated you are!! My family is huge and three of us had babies all within the same week so whenever its time for my son's birthday I dread the plans for this same reason!! I hope it all smooths out, it sounds like yo have a wonderful day planned for her though and I am sure she is going to love her day either way!!

[aggiefamily]

I feel for you Karen! Garrett's birthday usually falls on the week of Thanksgiving when everyone is out of town. And Lance had never been to a party that was not family so he knows no difference.

We just have family parties and let them pick something special to do. I dread it when Garrett starts Kindergarten next year and steps out into the "real" world. I just wish I could keep them in my little sheltered world a little bit longer.

[Amber1279]

my son's b-day was like that this year. We invited the whole class, and only 3 of his classmats came. We had other family & friends from church though so it was a nice size party.

I hope some people come, just DD's sake.

[chastml]

This is why I'm thankful my children's birthdays are in the middle of the summer. My kids have even gone to one of those huge 60+ kids parties at Pump It Up for their cousin. Her mother invited every child she's ever known in her 6 year lifespan to this thing, including one child she hadn't seen or talked to since her party the year before. It was crazy! It was only 2 hours long, but by the last half hour the birthday girl was starting to get cranky and my ds was tired of all the noise. He told us he likes how we do his parties. A couple kids, some family, a park, water guns and cupcakes. He doesn't even mind sharing the party with his little sister.

[scrappychic]

Man, that sucks! I don't have much luck with the kids at school either. I had 3 out of the 15 we invited from school, the rest were cousins (I have plently like you). So since I have better luck with cousins, those are the ones we invite regularly. It doesn't make a difference to DD1 who comes by. It's sad though that one of the girls from school that came was a good friend of hers - they called each other "sisters" - and I invited her and her mom to DD2's b-day but they never showed up and we just lost touch after that.

[Sari]

Aww, Karen, you aren't a loser. Birthday parties are so stressful sometimes. Hopefully a few kids do show up. I find that so many people don't bother to RSVP and then show up anyway!

[jorgies5]

I agree Karen, you are not a loser...far from it. I hope your daugther's party turns out. I HATE the whole birthday party thing too. Right now my kids can have a party every other year, and I would like to cut that down even more. It is so hard. When you try to cut down on numbers, you end up hurting peoples feelings or you end up having a bad turnout. When you try and include everyone, it seems they all end up showing up and it is so overwhelming.

Speaking of birthday parties, my friend just emailed this to me:

http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/04/18...ies/index.html

I must be living in a different world. I can't even imagine.

[jaylensmom]

awww karen it'll all work out...birthday parties are always stressful...i feel the same way you do each year for my son's birthday party and then there are a ton of kids running around (i have a really big family)....

[rach3975]

I hope it works out and some of her classmates come! Most of DS's playgroup friends were all born within 6 weeks of each other, so we check weekends with each other before we schedule. If she's going to be with the same group of kids next year, it may be worth doing that with this boy's mother.

[joelsgirl]

Ohhh, my heart is aching for you and your little one. I hope some kids show up and have a great time.

[jocelinsmommy]

that totally stinks---one of my friends little boys---she had done all the stuff for her sons bday--gave the teacher the invites--and the teacher didnt give them out---we all think it was on purpose because she's singled him out as the problem children when he's very intelligent and gets bored easy...so in turn no one showed up--she was upset--but her son didnt notice too much was having too much fun with the family kids and such--which was a good thing. I can relate--for my DD 2nd bday--we had put it closer to my husbands family and NO one really showed up everyone who said they would didnt. Hurt my feelings more than anymores--since my DD didnt notice and isn't of the age to notice that even a few of her own uncles and other family members didnt show along with several play mates... I feel ur pain girl...TOTALLY!