#1
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ok I need a pick me up people..
LOL..
got a funny joke? a new hottie that I will like (do you like how i did everything possible to make that I stand out? hahahahahaha want to just tell me that you love me? that's acceptable too.. lol want to boss me around and tell me what to do? i can even work with that.. so whatcha got??
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~~La~~ |
#2
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If a woman looks deep in thought - she's thinking.
If a man looks deep in thought - he's trying not to poop himself while farting.
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#3
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I'll tell you what to do....
ADD ME TO YOUR TEAM!!! |
#4
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hey yeah ^that works for me too
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#5
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*giggle*
I do like poop and fart jokes.. I'm totally a 12 year old boy
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~~La~~ |
#6
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What would you call the definition of surprise?
Answer: A fart with a lump in it. |
#7
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I have a 17, 24, and 11 year old brothers, I'm sure I can think up some more.
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#8
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I thought that was a shard??
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#9
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lmao
isn't it shart?
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~~La~~ |
#10
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A little girl answers the phone and a man says "Hey honey its Daddy is your mom home?" The little girl says yes, and the man asks what the mom is doing. The little girl says that mommy is up in her bedroom with Uncle Frank. The man's quiet for a minute and says "But honey you don't have an Uncle Frank." The little girl says "Yes we do, I can hear them up there. He must be really funny cause Mommy sure is giggling a lot." The man's quiet a bit longer and says "Sweetie, go upstairs and tell your Mommy that Daddy is pulling into the driveway now." The girl's gone for a few moments then comes back. The man asks her what mommy did. "Well, Mommy screamed a bunch of bad words and there was lotsa noise then Mommy ran in the bathroom slipped on something hit her and isn't waking up." The man asks what happened to Uncle Frank "He jumped out of the hall window and into the pool, but I guess Mommy forgot to tell him you took out all the water, and I think he's dead." The guy's quiet for about 3 minutes then says really worried, "Sweet heart we don't have a pool." The girl says yes they do. So the man asks "Is this xxx-xxxx?" and the little girl says "no this is xxx-xxxy"
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#11
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Sorry love, I have no fart/poop jokes, so just wanted to say that I love you! LOL
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#12
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lmao love is needed more than poop in the world.
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~~La~~ |
#13
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Lol Trish!
I love you (both) lots but I think you already know that ha!
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#14
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Okay, I had to go to a website and cut and paste this but I saw it a few years ago in an email forward. I remember it being funny just to read through (and since we're on the topic of poop). Ha.
Ghost Poopie The kind where you feel the Poopie come out, but there's no poopie in the toilet. Clean Poopie The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper. Wet Poopie The kind where you wipe your butt fifty times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you don't runie them with a stain. Second Wave Poopie The kind that happens when you're done poopie-ing and you've pulled your pants up to your knees, and you realize you have to poopie some more. Turtle Poopie The kind of poopie that pops out a little and goes back in a few times before it finallly comes out Pop-a-Vein-in-your-Forehead-Poopie The kind where you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke. Lincoln Log Poopie The kind of Poopie that is so huge you're afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the plunger. Gas-sy Poopie The kind where it's so noisy, everyone within earshot is giggling! Drinker Poopie The kind of Poopie you have the morning after a long night of drinking. It's most noticeable trait is the skid marks on the bottom of the toilet. Corn Poopie (Self explanatory) Gee-I-Wish-I-Could-Poop Poopie The kind where you want to Poopie, but all you do is it on the toilet and fart a few times. Spinal Tap Poopie That's the kind when it hurts so badly coming out, you swear it was leaving you sideways. Wet Cheeks Poopie (The Power Dump) The kind that comes out of your butt so fast, your butt cheeks get spashed with water. Liquid Poopie The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots you of your butt and spashes all over the toilet bowl. Mexican Poopie The kind that smells so bad your nose burns. Upper Class Poopie The kind of Poopie that doesn't smell. The Suprise Poopie You are not even at the toilet, because you are sure you are about to fart, but, OOPS---a Poopie! The Dangling Poopie This Poopie refuses to drop into the toilet even though you know you are done poopie-ing. You just pray that a shake or two will cut it loose. |
#15
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lol
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#16
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haha i just laughed way harder than is appropriate
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~~La~~ |
#17
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So.. i can boss you around huh? How about you go finish up my dsa stuff? Hmm? LOLOL
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Sara Creating for absolutely no one because I don't think I know how to scrap anymore.
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#18
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This made my night.
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#19
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Quote:
I'm seriously like............ brain floating. if no one tells me what to do I just sit and stare at the wall.
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~~La~~ |
#20
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LMAO! DH had to ask what was so funny.
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Annie |
#21
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Just for you, La, my favorite joke in high school:
What's green and can walk through walls? Casper the Friendly Pickle! *snort snort snort* |
#22
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I went out looking for some girly boys for ya. I might have run into a few you know inappropriate photos, but I'm washing my brain right now trying to get those images out.
He's cute, huh? I dunno. I'm way out of the loop on Hollywood hotties, and I tend to go for guys that are you know actually hot, so I'm having a hard time finding something nice that YOU would like... But here's a nice one of Mr. Leto I found: And I SO way love you too.
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#23
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lol.. that boy looks about 12 ^_^ .. mr leto however, is beautiful.
<3
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~~La~~ |
#24
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same here! My hubby took my computer away to see what I was laughing so hard at... lol. LA, I love you too! :-) Music always helps me get out of a funk, right now I'm liking anything by Pink, or the music from the G-Force movie... lol. I just go into my little craft room and crank it! (Pink I reserve for when DD's at school, G-Force she sings along with me... lol) |
#25
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Blind Salesman:
A woman goes into Bass Pro Shop to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday but she doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter and a Bass Pro Shop associate is standing there wearing dark shades. She says, ''Excuse me sir, can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?'' He says ''Ma'am, I'm completely blind; but if you'll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything from the sound it makes.'' She doesn't believe him but drops it on the counter anyway. He says, ''That's a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-LB. test line and It's a good all around combination and it's on sale this week for only $20.00." She says, ''It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter...I'll take it!' and as she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor. ''Oh, that sounds like a Master Card,'' he says. She bends down to pick it up and accidentally farts. At first she is really embarrassed, but then realizes there is no way the blind clerk could tell it was she who tooted...Being blind, he wouldn't know that she was the only person around. The man rings up the sale and says, ''That'll be $34.50 please.” The woman is totally confused by this and asks, ''Didn't you tell me the rod and reel were on sale for $20.00?...How did you get $34.50?'' He replies, ''Yes Ma'am...The rod and reel is $20.00, but the Duck Call is $11.00 and the Bear Repellent is $3.50"
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#26
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Road Kill Chili
WARNING: ONLY Read This Where You Are Able To LAUGH OUT LOUD. (Hysterics might set in.) The writer of this piece paints a very vivid picture... You will laugh - guaranteed! ENJOY!! I went to Home Depot recently while not being altogether sure that course of action was a wise one. You see, the previous evening I had prepared and consumed a massive quantity of my patented "you're definitely going to Crap yourself, road-kill chili". Tasty stuff, albeit hot to the point of being painful, which comes with a written guarantee from me that if you eat it, the next day your butt cheeks might fall off! Here's the thing. I had awakened that morning, and even after two cups of coffee (and all of you know what I mean) nothing happened. No 'Watson's Movement 2'. Despite habanera peppers swimming their way through my intestinal tract, I was unable to create the usual morning symphony referred to by my dear wife as 'thunder and lightning'. Knowing that a time of reckoning HAD to come, yet not sure of just when, I bravely set off for Home Depot, my quest being paint and supplies to refinish the den. Upon entering the store at first all seemed normal. I selected a cart and began pushing it about dropping items in for purchase. It wasn't until I was at the opposite end of the store from the restrooms that the pain hit me. Oh, don't look at me like you don't know what I'm talking about. I'm referring to that 'Uh, Oh, Crap, gotta go' pain that always seems to hit us at the wrong time. The thing is, this pain was different. The habaneras in the chili from the night before were staging a revolt. In a mad rush for freedom they bullied their way through the small intestines, forcing their way into the large intestines, and before I could take one step in the direction of the restrooms which would bring sweet relief, it happened. The peppers fired a warning shot. There I stood, alone in the paint and stain section, suddenly enveloped in a noxious cloud the likes of which has never before been recorded. I was afraid to move for fear that more of this vile odor might escape me. Slowly, oh so slowly, the pressure seemed to leave the lower part of my body, and I began to move up the aisle and out of it, just as a red aproned clerk turned the corner and asked if I needed any help. I don't know what made me do it, but I stopped to see what his reaction would be to the malodorous effluvium that refused to dissipate.. Have you ever been torn in two different directions emotionally? Here's what I mean, and I'm sure some of you at least will be able to relate. I could've warned that poor clerk, but didn't. I simply watched as he walked into an invisible, and apparently indestructible, wall of odor so terrible that all he could do before gathering his senses and running, was to stand there blinking and waving his arms about his head as though trying to ward off angry bees. This, of course, made me feel terrible, but then made me laugh. .......BIG mistake!!!!! Here's the thing. When you laugh, it's hard to keep things 'clamped down', if you know what I mean. With each new guffaw an explosive issue burst forth from my nether region. Some were so loud and echoing that I was later told a few folks in other aisles had ducked, fearing that someone was robbing the store and firing off a shotgun. Suddenly things were no longer funny. 'It' was coming, and I raced off through the store towards the restrooms, laying down a cloud the whole way, praying that I'd make it before the grand mal ass-plosion took place. Luck was on my side. Just in the nick of time I got to the john, began the inevitable 'Oh my God', floating above the toilet seat because my ass is burning SO BAD, purging. One poor fellow walked in while I was in the middle of what is the true meaning of 'Shock and Awe'. He made a gagging sound, and disgustedly said, “SOB!” “Did it smell that bad when you ate it?”, then quickly left. Once finished and I left the restroom, reacquired my partially filled cart intending to carry on with my shopping when a store employee approached me and said, 'Sir, you might want to step outside for a few minutes. It appears some prankster set off a stink bomb in the store. The manager is going to run the vent fans on high for a minute or two which ought to take care of the problem.' My smirking of course set me off again, causing residual gases to escape me. The employee took one sniff, jumped back pulling his shirt up to cover his nose and, pointing at me in an accusing manner shouted, 'IT'S YOU!', then ran off returning moments later with the manager. I was un- ceremoniously escorted from the premises and asked none too kindly not to return. Home again without my supplies, I realized that there was nothing to eat but leftover chili, so I consumed two more bowls. The next day I went to shop at Lowes. I can't say anymore about that because we are in court over the whole matter. Those idiots claim they're going to have to repaint the store! Can you imagine??
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#27
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How do I explain the love I have for you despite never meeting with you? Hmm..
First of all, your skills as a designer are amazing. At last count I own 23 kits you either designed or co-designed. I've been scrapping for two months. Do the math, I'm in love with your skills. I also have the upmost respect for you when it comes to being a single mumma. My 'step-mum' took me on, then had two children with my father, then when we had to leave him, raised us all on. her. own. What I'm trying to say is I think you are a wonderful person La. When I grow up I wanna be just like you Haha, too much? |
#28
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hahaha!!! omg!!!
sending some love n hugs your way, La. i have those days ALL the time!! |
#29
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Oh! I can do that too! It was SO hard to go through my Brian Molko files.... Wasted a full hour and a half.
Yeah. Bummer of a way to spend time! Let me know if you want more. Hope your day gets better. Mine just did! Last edited by HeidiD; 02-21-2010 at 01:16 AM. |
#30
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UMMMM...YEAH ME TOO
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#31
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You know we love you La.
I was going to suggest that maybe you would feel better if you could sit down and doodle. But that made me think of this thread https://www.sweetshoppecommunity.com...ad.php?t=39432 explaining what terms mean in other countries. Which made me think about suggesting you doodle and now I'm snickering and giggling and thinking I. need. to. grow. up.
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#32
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Oh, girl. If this doesn't get ya movin, then well you might have a lot in common with my husband, but hopefully it can make you smile. I so love this video and the song:
Little Less Conversation
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