Credits:
Kit:
Everything You Are by KristinCB & Lauren Grier
Template: All Stacked Up iNSD Freebie by Captivated Visions
Font: IanJude and DJB-CTLaurie by Darcy Baldwin
Journaling:
My name is Jeniece. I went by Jeni for a long time, but shortened it to Jen when
my new sister-in-law called me that (I really liked how grown up it sounded). Growing
up, I hated the name. It was a weird name that no one else had. I wasn’t able to
see an upside to having a unique name. People always messed it up somehow - or just
assumed I was named Jennifer, calling me that, (which irked me even more). And don’t
get me started on the lack of name knick-knacks that are out there. I have never
seen anything (premade) with the name Jeniece. Nor have I seen a Jen with one N
or a Jeni spelled with an i. I know it’s not the end of the world, but it really did
bother me. I can count on one hand the amount of times I’ve come across the
name Jeniece in another human being. A few years ago, I tried to change my name
yet again to a new nickname that I still love to this day: Niecy (shortened from my
childhood nickname niecybug). It never caught on, and I just gave up and stuck
with Jen. Now that I’m all "grown up" I still have little liking for it. I do think it sounds
professional, but I’m a stay at home mama, so that doesn’t really matter. People
still mangle it (helpful if it’s a telemarketer calling) and also assume I’m a Jennifer
(still uber irksome!) but I’ve come to terms with it as best I can. Part of me
wishes I had a different name. Part of me wishes I had my original name.......
.......Crystal was the name I was given when I was born. I’ve been told it’s
a family name, and that a lot of the women in my biological family have that
name, or some variation of it. For example, my blood sister is named Christina,
and goes by the name I did as a baby - Chrissy. I often think of "Crystal"
as some other person - some sort of "what if" girl. Maybe she would have
liked the color pink instead of the purple that I do. Maybe she would have
dreamed of having two little girls instead of the two boys I prayed for. Would
she have had a love for the ocean? Dreamed of marrying a military man?
Loved all things celtic? You see, I was adopted when I was 11 months old. And
the family I was adopted into - they had three boys all with the same initials
of JDH. My new parents made the hard decision to change my name to
match so that I never felt out of place with my new family. I understand and
am grateful that they cared so much - but I often wish my new mom had
never heard the name Jeniece (thus changing, at the last minute, her choice
of Jennifer). Crystal has become the representation of how things could have
been - both the good and the bad. I embrace both names for what they
stand for. The what if, and the what is.
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