Where are the PC Police?

[Misty Cato]

By way of background. We are a biracial family. My husband is black and very dark-skinned. I'm as pale as they come. I just had the following conversation with our three year old son.

Jamin: Mom, Daddy's skin is too brown.

Me (a little worried): Yes, his skin is dark, but I like it that way.

Jamin: Your skin is too pink.

Me (now trying to figure out the best way to address the issue): Well, God made me this way and He knows what He is doing.

Jamin: ... and my skin is just right.

At this point I realize we read him Goldilocks and the Three Bears last night and this is his variation, LOL. Time to get out the God-made-everyone-unique-and-beautiful books.

Who knew Goldilocks was so un-PC?

[lauren grier]

hahahaha Ce & I have this conversation a lot LOL "my daddy is chocolate.. my mommy is white.. and I am beautiful because I am tan and not chocolate OR white"

:D :D :D

[SamaraGugler]

LOL!!! That's a great story!!!

Our first babysitter was white and her husband, black. The kids were biracial. Her daughter was my sons best friend.


Anyway, one of my RACIST neighbors asked Alex if he noticed that Krystal (biracial girl) was different. Alex said, "Yeah, she's a girl, duh." Then the guy had them put their arms out and said again, "Look, you're different." Alex said, "Yeah, I have freckles and she doesn't."

Alex was about 4 when this happened. Makes me hate our old neighbor more and love my kid more!!!

[MandaBean]

Haha! My sister is white and my BIL is mexican, so my nieces and nephews have PERFECT skin *envy*! They haven't said anything so far about the differences in skin color yet though.

Yesterday, we had been watching the weather channel, and Alex said.."The brown man on the TV said there was a hurricane coming!" The reporter was african-american with fairly dark skin. I giggled a little, because they're small children and they don't realize that including skin color in with the comment about someone might not be PC for some people.

Good luck Misty! LOL

[Angie4b1g]

I get the feeling my son doesn't have enough exposure to other colors/cultures. We were looking at houses and the realtor was black. After we left, my 3 year old called him "the guy with the brown head". :huh:

[ditzyscrap]

I'm sure this is going to be sortof something that comes up with our family...we're all white, but my sister married a Dominican, and their daughter is darker than our kids (but not too much...since my BIL is considered light for Dominicans). So I'm sure at some point in the future, ONE of the kids will notice on family vacation that their skin is different. They haven't met their uncle yet (he can't get into the country because of STUPID immigration laws...even though he only wants to visit his wife's family), but I know they'll say something (innocently) and embarrass us.

Weirder yet is the fact that my niece is going to be speaking Spanish (she will be trilingual...Spanish, English and American Sign Language, but probably her first language will be Spanish) and all her cousins know is English, lol. Could be interesting... :)

[SamaraGugler]

Haha! My sister is white and my BIL is mexican, so my nieces and nephews have PERFECT skin *envy*!


So not fair!!! I'm half mexican too. My skin is so pale that it borders on transparent. DH teases me that maybe my dad isn't my dad. :(

[Angie4b1g]

My daughter is white on both sides but gets so tan in the summer that she's actually darker than my friend's biacial son. LOL

[mrs_jb]

We have these conversations too! My DH is Filapino and I'm White (irish/welsh). Personally I think that my kids have the most beautiful skin tone on earth... I'm green with envy.

We have a very racial diverse family. My stepfather is also black, so my kids have amazing exposure to real cultural diversity. To the point that my oldest son absolutely does not see skin color, he just doesn't look at people that way because everyone in his life is so incredibly different... I love it!

[schock77]

I have lists of children's books that are good for that Misty if you need any recs.

Funny story- my daughter was at an in-home caregiver's house while I worked from when she was 8 weeks old until this May (she's almost 3). I'm a teacher so I have summer off, but for the past 3 years Qualanda basically raised her while I was at work. So her last week, a new mom in our neighborhood came to a playdate and saw pictures of Marley and Qualanda and mentioned to my daughter that Qualanda was black. As I'm sitting there thinking, why is that important and the first thing she says about the adorable picture (?), Marley says "No she's white". I look at the picture and see Qualanda is wearing a white t-shirt. :)

[stayawake]

It's funny how kids see things!
That is what I love about my neighbourhood - every possible skin colour seems to be represented in the 70 or so townhouses in our community. In our little area, white is almost a minority! My daughter never seems to notice differences of ethnicity or culture because she plays with lots of asian, black, middle eastern, native kids, etc. (except she did tell me once she wanted a 'hat' like the (muslim) lady on the bus, who was wearing a beautiful pink hijab!)

[Mamasita]

That is so sweet that he thinks his skin is perfect. I'd have to agree with him!

My husband and I are both white, but everyone thinks my oldest son is Mexican or half black because he is so dark! My other two are just as dark, but they have blonde hair and blue eyes where my oldest has black hair and very dark eyes. I am so jealous of them. I want their dark skin.

[meganmecrazy]

OMG! HOW FUNNY!!! What a cutie for saying his was the "just right"! Oh gosh, I love it! Thanks for the story Misty! I'll be smiling for a while with that one!

[iJenny]

My sister called black people "chocolate people" once when she was three. We live in a VERY white area (northern Colorado, go figure lol) and she apparently had not been exposed to enough people of different race and we were vacationing in Atlanta, Georgia and she said at the top of her lungs at the age of three in the middle of a mall in Atlanta... "Ooooh, look at all of the chocolate people mommy!". My mom was horrified, but most people just smiled and understood that kids say un-PC things.

There is a girl at church and her mother and they are both "little people" (dwarfs). Cameron, about a year ago when he was 5, asked the mom "why are you so tiny"? The woman was so sweet and gave cameron the nicest answer about how god made everyone different and special. I love kids' honesty.

We have a biracial couple across the street and Cameron asked once whey did didn't look "pink" like their mommy or "brown" like their daddy and I had to explain the whole "mix" concept to a five year old. lol

[ScrappinFlo]

Wouldn't it be great if some adults can take even just a li'l bit of openmindedness from our youngins? Hubby & I are a biracial couple too and both minority. We live in an area where we see some people blatantly wave their tats out in the open with "W.P." inklings on their arms. Makes me a bit nervous sometimes.

[lauren grier]

hehe jenny.. I think it's CUTE that they say chocolate.. PC or not , I don't care. Ce calls *everything* brown chocolate.. that's just the way he sees things :)

[lizzyfizzy]

this is the story of my life as well! my dad is a tall irish man and my mom is a 5'2" hispanic woman. when we were little my mom was fun about it and told us we were her "lil' coconuts" (brown on the outside and white on the inside). LOL!!! i love interacial families! my kiddos are mexican/irish on my side and korean/german from their daddy's side!! i love it!! :thumbup:

[Laura_A]

My oldest, Riley (8) called brown people "chocolate" too. She thought they got that way because they drank a lot of chocolate milk. I thought it was cute how inocent it was for her to think that... because we've never taught our kids that there is a difference in people. Only that God made their skin a different color.

When I was about 3 I saw my 1st black person and aparently he was very dark. Mom says I said, very loudly, "Mommy, that man is all burnt". :o My poor mom was so emberassed, but she said the man thought it was very cute.

I just don't get it when people make people "different" just because of their culture or skin color. :cursing:

[mommy2aria06]

Oh I love that story!! My daughter is biracial (which La did an awesome job of conveying in our QTs BTW)- I am super pale white and her daddy is black. I think her skin is incredibly beautiful but I am always keeping my ears tuned to how other people answer those questions because I am sure they are coming. Anyway, what a cute comment!! Thanks for sharing!!

[my3hens]

What a sweet story Misty!!

My family is INSANELY mixed!!
My mom is filipino, german and irish and my dad is italian and portugese. And of course Im naturally blonde with green eyes LOL Then my husband is white and black but looks totally white so our kids are REALLY white. When we go to family partys on his family side I can just see the kids there thinking who are these little white kids lmao. Mixed babies are definitley GORGEOUS though, I like to think my kiddos are!

[Traci Reed]

I *HEART* biracial families and children. I think kids that are white mixed with any deeper skin tone are the MOST GORGEOUS kids on the planet, but I looooove white/chocolate kids ;) I keep telling patrick we need to adopt a little biracial baby because I always wanted to have my own when I was a kid.

Patrick's best friend ("brother") is extremely dark and my kids haven't really brought it up yet. Karsten did ask once why daddy isn't black like Uncle V if they're brothers..so he's getting there... LOL

[Misty Cato]

Thanks everyone for sharing your stories and anecdotes. I love the way kids explore life including skin color so innocently and without judgment. This whole thread makes me smile.

Stephanie, I'd love your reading list. I'll pm you.

[junebug]

I think the way children view things is so cute. Too bad some adults can't be more open minded. I grew up in pretty much an all white small town in central Indiana. But i'm very open minded. i was just never exposed to racism. My parents pretty much taught us that everyone is equal and i shouldn't judge someone just by their skin color. I want my kids to be the same way. Now, my MIL and my DH do not like the idea of 'mixing' races. This subject, luckily, does not come up much. i don't like to fight, but i'll make sure people know my opinion is known, lol.

I think biracial children are gorgeous!

[Angie4b1g]

I told my dh I wanted a mixed baby, but he didn't seem that willing to accomodate me. :glare:

[meems]

Jamin is so cute. :)

[mlewis]

That's so cute! Love that "just right" quote!

Our kids are Asian, but at 5 and almost 2, they haven't noticed they look different yet!

[AddictedScrapper]

Such a cute story!

Yup, my DH is hispanic and I'm white and my oldest DS is more transparent than I am. My youngest does have a bit of color. Funny how that works. Just proves that we are all originals :)

So not fair!!! I'm half mexican too. My skin is so pale that it borders on transparent. DH teases me that maybe my dad isn't my dad. :(

[iJenny]

When I was younger (in HS before I met my VERY WHITE hubby) I was determined to marry a black man and make all kinds of beautiful "caramel" babies. LOL I have always been so attracted to black men and I've always wanted biracial children. Of course, silly me runs off and marrys the WHITEST man this side of the Mississippi. LOL.
Seriously, though. I love how kids view differences in skin color. To them, its just a "color" a nothing more. Too bad some adults can't see it that way.

[Tracie Stroud]

How cute! Some friends of ours are a biacial couple, and their first 3 kiddos were very dark. When the youngest was born, he came out very light. The 5 year old went to see him in the hospital. He looked at him for a second, turned to his dad and said with a horrified expression, "Dad, he's WHITE!" Kids are so funny.

[Voodoo_Bryn]

I think this is why I really like living in the Bay Area, it's seriously ridiculously multi-cultural... we went to a Farmer's Market last weekend and their were Indian foodstands next to a Russian Blintz stand next a Chinese jade dealer. My kid will never notice a difference in people. **thank god** And he's the only white kid in his Gymboree class, which sometimes sucks for me, because the moms all ignore me and carry on their conversations in Korean or Hindi.

In Orange County, my best friends are Mexican and Jewish, and my husbands best friends are Indian and Thai, it was funny, when my son was born, my best friend, since she was there, exclaimed, "AWWWWWWWWWWWW, LOOK!! I'm his first Mexican!!"

So Yorick gets dredles and tamales for Xmas on my side. XD

[lizzyfizzy]

yummm...tamales!

[rainydays]

LOL, too cute!!
My niece has a "chocolate "friend..LOL, she is 2 1/2 and loves her chocolate friend from day care! Kids are so cute!

[scrapperjade]

This summer my DH and I were out visiting my sister in BC. We were at a park one day, having a picnic, and my nephew (4), says out loud "Mommy, those people are black!"... totally innocent like, lol. My sister had this shocked look on her face because that was the first time he'd ever noticed a difference (the people he was looking at were REALLY dark). She used the oppurtunity to tell them that yes, they had a different skin tone, and weren't they beautiful?

He used to play with Little People toys, and one was had brown skin. He used to call him Chocolate all the time! So cute!

[krystalhartley]

Awesome anecdote, Misty! Love stories like that...the whole, "kids say the darndest (sp?) things."

I'm one of 3 girls with northern European skin/features. My littlest sister and I were married long before the middle sister...I to a totally white dude and she to a hispanic fellow. We were friends with a girl married to a black guy. So, our 3 little girls were SO cute playing together...all within a year of each other agewise.

We kept telling our middle sister that she had to marry a black guy so that we could have that in the family. Even once she got engaged to her current husband, we gave her a really hard time because he didn't meet our criteria.

As far as teaching our kids about this...we really haven't had much to say...I've never heard an inappropriate comment. Besides the family exposure (my daughter and my niece are BFF), we have chosen to live in a wonderful community with a variety of educated, hard-working, and successful people from a variety of racial backgrounds. We are careful to not use "labels" when describing people. Like...we don't say the "black guy"...we find another way to describe them without using the color of their skin.

I think I personally became a bit more aware of races just a tad after 9-11--not because I was afraid or upset with any person that had middle eastern features, but that I couldn't help but to wonder if that person was suffering because of fallout from that event. I think there may have been just a bit of reverse discrimination on my part there to be extra kind and polite to them.

[SeattleSheri]

Misty, that is so cute, even if it's not PC :)

[sjford0419]

I am half black/half Japanese. When we moved from California to South Carolina, I figured I would have the "talk" with my son since I know how harsh it can be (I grew up in SC and have had some awful experiences...) so I started off by asking him if he knew what color he was...he told me "green", I started laughing and decided to forget about our conversation! I loved his innocence and didn't want to ruin his view of life, so I decided to just let it go! I love the innocence and purity of children!

[scrappychic]

My kids are triacial for lack of a better term. LOL. DH is half black/half while and I'm asian. Of our 3 kids, DD1 and 3 look mixed and DD2 has the asian features. So one day DD1 says DD2 is yellow like me and she herself is brown and DD3 is tan like daddy. Another time we were in the park and she got into a tiff going down the slide. Not sure how it started, but she telling the other girl that went down it that she's not her sister b/c she's not "brown" (to her she doesn't have brown sisters, just yellow and tan).

DH was in the waiting room of their pediatrician once with DD1 and DD2. A lady sitting there asked him if they were both his kids. When he said yes, she said "Hmmm".

We were at Build-A-Bear once and DD1 and DD2 were standing next to each other while the lady was stuffing their bears. She asked them if they were friends and my blue-eyed, blonde hair MIL said "No, they're sisters" and the lady's eyes popped out of her head as she said " REALLY?!?"

It's funny how people react when we're all together. DH doesn't keep in touch with his dad. We only see the white side and none of my kids look white. So when they go running up to their white grandma when she makes a surprise visit at their school the teachers look more surprised. :)

[Mel+hergirls]

How sweet is that!

My two year old has the most beautiful tanned skin (as does her dad; he has malungian in him and indian). BUT my 7mnth old is as white as I am. I'll tan but with much begging to the son. lol

[AmyM]

Misty I think what your baby said is just adorable. Kids are so innocent about the things that adults should be, you know? I remember my daughter asking me when she was about 3 why people are different colors. I told her God is creative and he makes us all different, otherwise the world would be pretty boring. She's never mentioned it again. Amazing how things just kinda click with little kids.
BTW, I'm about as pale as you can get too LOL. I don't tan, I lobsterfy.

[Sheana]

How sweet Misty! He is "just right". I love multiacial families, especially the kids. They're usually so gorgeous! I always wanted a half asian baby.

We're not a biacial family, however DH, DD1 and myself all have dark hair, eyes and kind of darker skin. But DD2 is extremely pale skinned, bright blue eyes and blonde hair. DD2 loves that she has yellow hair and everyone else has "black". :) They tend to identify everyone by the color of their hair. I don't think they even realize that people have different skin colors.

I love kids' innocence!

[latrischler]

Aw, Misty - Jamin is the CUTEST! You handled it perfect - God made all of us unique! My kids didn't notice color at all for a long time, but even now IF they do, its just more "tan" or less "tan" - their skin doesn't affect who they are!

[Laura_A]

It's so interesting how children with the same parents... same family can come out SO differently. My DH and his sister are 1/2 Myan and they are both married to VERY pale-skinned people (I burn, peel and stay white). His sister's son is VERY dark with black hair and black eyes but our girls have pale skin, freckles and light brown eyes. I think they're beautiful with their porcelin skin and dark brown hair... but I've also always thought biacial people are gorgeous! I'm so jealous of exotic looking women. lol

[joelsgirl]

So anyway, Misty, you MUST keep having these babies. They are so darn beautiful. And creative, apparently.

I taught in the public school system in New Orleans for two years, and all of the students in my school were black. All of the teachers were, too, except for a handful of us, including 2 other first year gals like me...one of whom had blond super curly hair and the other who had long, dark brown hair. And all of the students thought we were triplets. No, not even just sisters--triplets. And if they weren't in one of our classes, they couldn't tell us apart.

And there was one kid who was probably mixed, though he was registered as African-American. He had light skin and his hair was tan--still kinky, just not dark brown like everyone else's--and the greatest insult anyone could hurl at him was, "white boy". I about pee'd my pants the first time he came up to me CRYING, "Mrs. Turner, he called me 'white boy.'"

In case you didn't know it, moving from small town Arkansas to inner city New Orleans was a CROSS CULTURAL experience, for sure.

[lovely1m]

lmao..how cute is that though!