Who ever thought FREE beer was a good idea?

[SirScrapalot]

Ok, so I went to a wedding last night. A wedding with open bar. So, if something is free, well...so I drank, and danced, and laughed until after midnight. Little did I know what was going on while I was having fun....my two daughters didn't go to bed until well after 9pm, my MIL decided it would be best if she stayed over, and the sugar babe thing wouldn't go my way.

Cut to now, I am sitting here, bummed out, hung over, and sore all over. My two daughters got up at 6am, and are already whining. My MIL is up, and I can hear here nagging my DW. Yeah, I am not sure I will make it through today....and I bet there are some 59 other people who are bummed like me...so


Show Us Funny. Help me make it through the day. Tell me a joke, show me a funny picture, whatever. Make me laugh. The only rule - ABSOLUTELY NO pictures of that Aiken baby. That's not funny, it's still just weird.

[newfiemountiewife]

Aaron, I'm sorry you're bummed, AND hungover. That's a killer combo!

Here's a giggle for you...make sure you watch it all and listen carefully...

News Slip Ups (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AO8j3Rke07U&eurl)

[ashliwolf]

hmmmmmmmmmmm...i will find funny for you sugah daddy...be back..

[jacinda]

How about a couple of one-liners?

"Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines"

"I may look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy"

:thumbup:

[schock77]

Sorry to hear about your rough morning. My kiddos are up early EVERY morning and sober that's tough, I can't imagine dealing with this while hungover! I totally missed the Babe call, wouldn't have made it anyway, but I know how frustrating that is!

Libby introduced us to this site with a hilarious phone message- it's a site for guys, but it's too hilarious for me not to read too. Reading just about anything here will crack you up.http://www.holytaco.com/

[ashliwolf]

alright..this is my VERY FAVORITE emails of ALL TIMES..enjoy and feel free to share :) pretty sure that there is some explecitives in here..but i didn't write it..i just read it and busted a gut :)

disclaimer...remove ALL food and or drink from you mouth before reading this!

WOMAN'S WEEK AT THE GYM

If you read this without laughing out loud, there is something
wrong with you. This is dedicated to women (even some guys)
everywhere who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine.

Dear Diary,

For my birthday this year, my daughter (the dear) purchased a
week of personal training at the local health club for me.
Although I am still in great shape since being a high school
football cheerleader 48 years ago, I decided it would be a good
idea to go ahead and give it a try.
I called the club and made my reservations with a personal
trainer named Belinda, who identified herself as a 26-year-old
aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear

My daughter seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started
and encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.

MONDAY:

Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found
it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find
Belinda waiting for me. She is something of a Greek goddess - with
blonde hair, dancing green eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!!
Before long I assume I'll resemble Belinda. Belinda gave me a tour and
showed me the machines. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which
she conducted her aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring!
Belinda was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already
aching from holding it in the whole time she was around. This is going to
be a FANTASTIC week-!!

TUESDAY:

I drank a whole pot of coffee and I finally made it out the door.
Belinda made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into
the air then she put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on
the treadmill, but I made the full mile. Belinda's rewarding smile made
it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT!! It's a whole new life for me.

WEDNESDAY:

The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush
on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe
I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't
try to steer or stop, so I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot.
Belinda was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club
members. Her voice is a little too perky for early in the morning and when she
scolds, she gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying. My chest hurt when
I got on the treadmill, so Belinda put me on the stair monster. Why the Hell
would anyone invent a machine to simulate activity rendered obsolete
by elevators?
Belinda told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. She said some
other crap too.

THURSDAY:

Belinda was waiting for me with her vampire-like teeth exposed as her thin,
cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a
half an hour
late, it took me that long to tie my shoes Belinda took me to work
out with dumbbells.
When she was not looking, I ran and hid in the restroom. She sent
another skinny
bitch to find me. Then, as punishment, she put me on the rowing machine -- which
I sank.

FRIDAY:

I hate that bitch Belinda more than any human being has ever hated any
other human
being in the history of the world Stupid, skinny, anemic, anorexic
little tramp. If there was a part of my body I could move without
unbearable pain, I would beat her with it.
Belinda wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And
if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the damned
barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich. The treadmill
flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why
couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the
choir director?

SATURDAY:

Belinda left a message on my answering machine in her grating, shrilly
voice wondering
why I did not show up today. Just hearing her made me want to smash the machine
with my planner. However, I lacked the strength to even use the TV
remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather
Channel.

SUNDAY:

I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go
and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year
my daughter (the little shit) will choose a gift for me that is fun --
like a root canal or a hysterectomy. I still say if God had wanted me
to bend over,
he would have sprinkled the floor with diamonds.

[MelindaH]

Now that IS funny, Ashli! :)

[kscwgirl]

(((((((((Aaron))))))))))) sorry about the hangover.

[lizzyfizzy]

free beer is not a good idea! in fact, it may have been put there by you mil out of spite for her babysitting duties. :p

k....a funny!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s92/lizzy9801/sym_1.jpg
or
http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s92/lizzy9801/fri_119.jpg

[OrianaVianey]

Ohh poor Aaron! Free beer is NOT funny, specially when you have the annoying habit of waking up before noon and want food... hmmm

ETA: This is not funny ans in the joke sense of the word, but I've keep myself on a good mood listen to Alvin and the Chipmunks.
Here is witch doctor video (movie version)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QAx8LoelYFA&feature=related

[ashliwolf]

ok..so that is NOT a nice thing that i put on there..but i think that it is the FUNNIEST and MOST TRUE thing EVER!

ps...free beer...............ROCKS! next time... 3 ibuprofen before bedtime and a big glass of water...and then 3 ibuprofen by your bed...and aNOTHER big glass of water...and THEN throughout the day periodically...COLD COLD COLD pepsis in a cup..NO ICE...

i mean..ahem..that is what i HEAR would work well for that ...haha.. :)

[SirScrapalot]

You guys are the best! Everything hear got me laughing again. The girls are finally down for their naps, so I have some time to rest. And I have eaten, so things are starting to look up. As for the babe call, eh whatever, I am happy for those who got it, and still love hanging around here. Here's a funny story:

At the wedding last night, there was some 20-something nit wit (and I mean it in the nicest way) who wore a tube dress. Well after drinking cosmos all night, as she tried to get down to "like a prayer" by madonna, yeah, her boobs fell out. I thought that DW was going to pee herself.

Oh and yeah, I have already sucked down a venti iced white chocolate mocha. I plan on getting more coffee in the next few hours.

[OrianaVianey]

Bloddy Mary's are great for those... hehehe
I though was a mith but after a Tequila Party... ehem sorry... birthday party, I drank a blody Mary with my lunch and the hangover went away like magic.

Home made recipe: V8 juice, tabasco and vodka (celery is optional... and easy on the vodka... LOL)