Frustrated and not sure what to do

[my3hens]

Okay so for a little back history my daughter had a hard time catching up with reading last year. Over the summer we worked really hard with her and then this school year shes been doing awesome with the help of her teacher and she also sees a reading tutor on the side (like a special group the school offers) It only took her a month or so into the school year to catch up completely and is reading above grade level according to her primary 1st grade teacher at her last parent teacher meeting. Well the school has bounced through FOUR different reading teachers. Lily started the school year off with a lot of homework because she has a book report from her 1st grade teacher thurs-wed and then a work sheet a day mon-fri and on top of that had a paper a night from that particular reading teacher. I found she got over whelmed very quickly under this workload and was struggling a bit, maybe even back peddling with some of her progress over the summer, plus she has arthritis in her hands and doesn't have a ton of time to focus on homework after being in school 8 hours of the day. Then when the first reading tutor left she didn't have homework from that area and she caught up REALLY quick and really excelled. That's when her progress really began. She wasn't over whelmed and was really enjoying reading. Now this new reading teacher has been there about a month. She is gradually sending home more and more homework. I spoke to her on the phone a few weeks back and shared my concerns and that I felt it was to much for Lily and we would only be doing it as we could (some days are better then others especially with Lily's arthritis.)I told her Lily already got a good bit of homework from her first grade teacher and with that alone she usually spends quite a bit of time. The teacher said this would take maybe an extra 5 minutes. Well its been going on 3 weeks and with all her combined homework it takes well over an hour a night. Hard for a child with swollen painful hands. I have to sign that Lily does her assignments every night and keep writing this teacher comments about how its to much for Lily and she keeps sending more homework home with snippy comments. We are up to 3 worksheets a night from the reading teacher alone. I am tempted to pull her out the program all together. What do I do?????? I am totally hormonal and ready to rip this lady a new one.

[ColleenSwerb]

As I always post in the beginning of child related threads, I don't have kids so take my response with a grain of salt.

Is it really worth the frustrations? You said that she was really excelling when she didn't have that tutor and extra work. If she's doing well without it, and having it is a huge hassle and hinders her, then why not pull her out?

[Andrea Gourley]

Sarah can you make an appointment to go in and see her? It might be better if you see her face to face and you explain exactly what is going wrong and how you both feel.

I don't know anything about the AMerican education system and first grade sounds young - but my 6 year olds in my class wouldn't get anything near that amount of homework - they work hard enough in school through the day and need down time when they get home to enjoy being a child.

[Leila]

Rip her the new one Sarah. If the reading teacher's work doesn't hold weight with Lily's grades, do it when you can. There's no reason to A) make a child in pain suffer (I had JRA, I know all too well), and B) take away a child's joy for reading with what probably amounts to busy work in the long run.

[Paula]

If it's getting to be that she isn't listening to you, you are well above your rights to take it to the principal. My DS sixth grade teacher NEVER communicated with me and finally after trying to speak to him for two months, I went to the principal. I would tell her that your DD has a medical condition that really causes her problems when Lily has to write so much and could she please schedule a PT conference with you, the teacher and the principal. Then address your concerns with the both of them. If, after that, it doesn't let up, I'd pull her from the program.

[robinforman]

Another option would be to speak directly to the first grade teacher, share your concerns about the combined work load and see if perhaps she can be removed from the reading group. Those are usually based on need (which it sounded like she needed at the beginning of the year, but doesn't now)... and perhaps her attendance should be reassessed.

I would start with that tactic, and if that doesn't work, request a meeting with the regular teacher, reading teacher and yourself to make sure that everyone is on the same page, which should be looking for positive options for your little lady!

On a side note, if her arthritis is causing you major concerns you should be able to get a health plan in place to ensure that she is not overdoing it on her hands.

[amystoffel]

I say make an appointment to speak with her face to face and again explain the situation. And maybe even speak with someone higher up... If your child is in pain, and regressing in the progress...then there is no learning...you know? Has her doctor sent any notes to her school about her limitations? Plus what kind of teacher sends a 1st grader home with THAT much work???? Aren't 1st graders supposed to just enjoy being kids and start getting USED to school?

If that doesnt work...rip her a new one.

Then pull her out.

[my3hens]

Another option would be to speak directly to the first grade teacher, share your concerns about the combined work load and see if perhaps she can be removed from the reading group. Those are usually based on need (which it sounded like she needed at the beginning of the year, but doesn't now)... and perhaps her attendance should be reassessed.

I would start with that tactic, and if that doesn't work, request a meeting with the regular teacher, reading teacher and yourself to make sure that everyone is on the same page, which should be looking for positive options for your little lady!

On a side note, if her arthritis is causing you major concerns you should be able to get a health plan in place to ensure that she is not overdoing it on her hands.

See thats the thing I have written out a detailed report and given copies to her nurse/school officials/teachers EVERYONE has one. They know what she is and isn't capable of. I also had a doctor sign off on it. Shes on enbrel, methrotrexate and prednisone so we are doing everything we possibly can. I seriously am thinking it would be best about pulling her out. I was just hesitant to because she had been in it since the beginning of the school year and I was hoping that the school would know best. They are supposed to be reassessed every so often but I think with the inconsistency of the program and their ability to keep the proper staff they are way off base with that. I also mentioned meeting up with her in person but she said she is only in for the couple hours shes with the kids and it would be tough to find something soon with her scheduling. Which also irritated me because she has no problem affecting ours with all this extra work.
Thank you girls :)

[Kat Stokes]

That sounds excessive! I would maybe try talking to the reading teacher in person and maybe even pull her from the group.

For comparison: Derrick is in first grade and we have about 2-3 worksheets a night plus 2 books a week to read. This week's books were a little more difficult and he had a really hard time with one of them so if I get another one like it next week I will definitely be e-mailing his teacher. She said he shouldn't be doing more than a half-hour of homework plus 15-30 minutes of reading per day. Of course he has to be difficult and it usually takes 2 hours to finish his homework.

[lizzyfizzy]

a child lily's age should NOT be doing over an hour of homework at night. go talk to the principal if you cannot get through. she's gonna end up worse off because she's going to resent reading in the end.

[Shawna]

That sounds like way too much for any first grader (and more so one with health issues), especially if it takes over an hour to finish it. It would be awful if she started to resent reading after working so hard to catch up! Kaylie is also in first grade and very rarely has homework to work on at home and she's one of the top students in her class. Really the only time she has homework is if they didn't have time to finish a worksheet or something so they bring it home to finish. But so far that has only happened a few times this year. Hopefully you can meet with both of her teachers and get it worked out Sarah!

[ColleenSwerb]

It seriously amazes me that amount of homework kids are expected to do now a days. Especially a first or second grader!

[rach3975]

I'd start by meeting with the reading teacher face to face. If she says the homework should take 5 minutes, maybe you could agree on a time limit, like doing as much as she can in 10 minutes and then sending the rest back to school unfinished.

[cindyg]

When does the reading teacher see her? Is she pulled from the class into a reading group during school or is it an after school thing? I'm asking because I was a reading resource teacher and I pulled small groups during the school day but I never gave homework. And...if I would have given something it would have been reading, not anything that would require writing. Maybe ask if you can just do extra reading with her for enrichment because the extra homework is too much. As a teacher, I might have an issue if a parent complained about the homework that is given to all students but if a child is given extra homework that the other students aren't getting and the parent complained that the regular homework PLUS the extra homework was too much then I would consider that a valid complaint.

[my4boys]

I would pull her out of that... it sounds like she does just fine without her. My kids (if I remember correctly) did not get nearly that much homework in first grade...that is crazy. I hope things get better no matter what you decide.

[lisabranka]

Does she have a 504 plan in place? That would help with the homework issue as you can state there her limitations (like the paperwork you mentioned) then the teachcers/school HAVE to follow this plan or be out of compliance.

[sjford0419]

Does she have a 504 plan in place? That would help with the homework issue as you can state there her limitations (like the paperwork you mentioned) then the teachcers/school HAVE to follow this plan or be out of compliance.

I was about to ask the same thing regarding a 504 plan....!

Aside from that, I would suggest doing what Robin said - speak with her teacher. Let her know how long it is taking your daughter to complete her HW. In my opinion, first graders should not spend an hour on homework. That is entirely too much!

[Ainwena]

Have you tried a 504 plan? If you have documented doctor's appointments for the arthritis, then that should be no problem. All you have to do is request it with the teacher/nurse. By law, you have a meeting to discuss whether she qualifies, and if it works out, the committee (with you on it) discusses accommodations for her in the classroom.

[my3hens]

Cindy she is pulled from class and all this homework is in addition to her regular teachers required weekly homework. Its more then doubled her workload since this particular teacher came in. I actually really really love Lily's first grade teacher. She is absolutely wonderful and I would never dispute anything she felt was necessary with Lillian. I know she truly has her best interest in mind. However being this reading tutor is LIly's 4th and most recent its just hard to really get a feel for her. I did like the first one they sent, and thought we worked well but then she stepped down without so much as a word to any of us parents so we were quite surprised. Not that her personal life is my business or anything but fair warning would be fine. As for the reading teachers homework having a child with a disability and having her steadily increase all the work is starting to wear on all of us. I have been very friendly and my patience is wanning with her. I dont normally have a problem with the authority or teachers in Lillian's life but this one lady is making it really hard to work with her. The fact that she can't find time to pencil me in and meet face to face is extra frustrating.

I never heard of the 504 plan for some reason but I def am going to ask the school nurse first thing on Monday. Thats absolutey awesome and I think would realy benefit Lily. I have of course like I said written out a report down to every detail on Lilys condition and what she can and cant handle on a regular basis but something concrete to back me up would be excellent. Lily's pediatrician has signed off on her physical forms what she can can not tolerate as well but I don't think thats the same thing as a 504 plan. I am sure her rheumatologist would do whatever she could to help as well.
What is really frustrating for me in all this is I REALLY want Lily to have a normal childhood. I want her to grow and learn and feel like any other kid. Of course her circumstances are different but I can't help but wondered if the other few children in this program with her are feeling bogged down as well? Rambling sorry. Its just all overwhelming for me right now.

[newfiemountiewife]

I would pull her out of that... it sounds like she does just fine without her. My kids (if I remember correctly) did not get nearly that much homework in first grade...that is crazy. I hope things get better no matter what you decide.

Yes, it sounds like she is doing well enough without it, can you not just pull her out of the reading group, and do a bit of extra reading with her at home?

Sorry it's so hard for her. I have RA, and it sucks. I'm glad that I'm out of school, because though I can type for long periods of time (it seems to help, by keeping the fingers moving), I cannot hardly write at all, period. I would be screwed even now, if I had that much writing to do.

Let us know how it goes!

[pbumbaca]

Dang, my 7th grader doesn't spend that much time on homework, I think it's a bit excessive for a 1st grader. Sarah I think if you feel she is doing well and that if you can work with her if you see her slipping again like you did over the summer I'd pull her, it's not worth the pain and like someone else said, she will end up not liking to read if you push her too much. Good luck and I also suggest ripping her a new one AFTER you decide to take her out! ;)

[schock77]

Pull her out... it doesn't sound like she's benefitting from it (in fact the opposite).

More questions for you- as a public school teacher myself I'm wondering about this program? Is it remedial and in addition to her regular reading instruction? If so, MORE work is definitely NOT the way to go.

Even our gifted and talented programs don't recommend MORE work (just different difficulty levels of work) but sometimes we see these kids getting extra work instead. :( That's why I'm not putting my kid (who is really smart and would qualify) in as a GT student. (Yes, they put little kindergartners in GT).

[my3hens]

Thank you so much for all the input girls, I def think I am going to just pull her out of the program.
Stephanie yup its completely in addition to all her regular first grade studies and all the work she gets is in addition to what she already has from her primary first grade teacher. She actually leaves her regular class to go see this lady for an hour or so during the day.

[Nonnie917]

I don't know if you know this or not, but public school systems HAVE to pay for special programs for children who have disabilities or learning problems. My sister fought the school system for my nephew and they had to pay to send him to a private school that could deal with his particular needs. When you meet with the princpal you be sure to remind him/her that the public school system HAS a responsibility to provide for your child's learning and special needs. If they do not, then call the local legal services or voluteer lawyer program in your area and get an attorney. Our tax dollars provide that EVERY child is guaranteed an education and it is obvious that your child is being denied a complete education. Good luck and I hope things work out for your and DD.

[schock77]

Thank you so much for all the input girls, I def think I am going to just pull her out of the program.
Stephanie yup its completely in addition to all her regular first grade studies and all the work she gets is in addition to what she already has from her primary first grade teacher. She actually leaves her regular class to go see this lady for an hour or so during the day.

Gotcha... then I REALLY say pull her. It's not like when she's headed to college they'll be looking to see if she was in this first grade reading class... I think it'll be a relief for you both.