WTH: A Study In Bathroom Etiquette

[LeeAndra]

I stop in the bathroom today on the way to lunch. [I hate using the bathrooms in the food court as they are all electronic, but the sensors are always off, so before I even have time to wipe, the toilet is flushing beneath me and spraying all over my poor behind.]

I take my stall and proceed with my business. Just #1, thanks.

The lady beside me is OBVIOUSLY doing more business than me. [I heard distinctive sounds.]

A third lady comes into the bathroom and takes another stall at the end. She's just a #1, too.

I yawn. I've been yawning all morning (slept HORRIBLY last night & so slow at work today).

While I and Lady #3 are doing the Hoist Up and Button Down Dance, More Business Lady suddenly blurts out, 'Y'know, yawns are contagious.'

:confused:

Not sure what the appropriate response to a random fact spouted from a bathroom stall, I make some kind of vague female-agreement noise as I'm leaving my stall. Lady #3 laughs and agrees before she exits her stall.

We're both washing our hands and drying off when More Business Lady says, 'Although I've also heard that we yawn because our heads are getting too hot.'

:confused:

Lady #3 laughs again (she's one of those kind of middle-aged recently got on an estrogen patch so she's feelin' real fine laugh-y types, y'know?) and says she's sure her head is not too hot because she left her brain at home this morning. Then she sails out the door.

I'm hitting the door myself as More Business Lady calls out, 'Make sure you put it back in when you get home!'

:confused:

Could someone please explain this conversation to me? WTH?! It is one thing to carry on conversation (though I hate it) with your mom, kid, or BFF while you're stallin' it together, but 2 strangers in the midst of your More Business?! And not even something like the weather or lunch, but the Brittanica encyclopedia entry on yawns?! And what's with her quasi-funny punchline at the end?! Who does sitdown comedy in a bathroom? Is this how Jerry and Dane started? Were they More Business Comics for a few years until they finally decided they could entertain an audience that was less 'captive?!' How does one even have enough self-possession to be able to excrete and entertain simultaneously? Is that some kind of mom thing? Do they teach that in Lamaze class? Was she trying to cover up the obvious in embarrassment, trying to distract out of politeness, or excited to have people to share the journey of her bowels with?!

I am still perplexed and icked out. :thumbdown:

[Tracie Stroud]

bwahahahahahahaha!

[kscwgirl]

LOLOLOL I :wub: you.

[iJenny]

bwaaahahhahahahaha! Ohmyword, this had me ROLLING on the floor here at work!! I can just imagine you making the "what the hell?" face as she's saying these random things. lol

On a side-note..... I feel that a public bathroom is a highly inappropriate place to do the "meet-and-greet" with strangers. I don't even make eye contact. Its just not right. lol

[my4boys]

too funny...thanks for the laugh girl, I really needed it!! knock on wood this has never happened to me!!!

[ColleenSwerb]

Omg I can't stop laughing! LOL!
I don't even like saying hi to coworkers in the bathroom outside of the stalls. I'm here to do my business, you're here to do yours, lets just leave it at that, thank you very much.

[melmos75]

*snort*

Wait - how did she know you yawned? Are you a loud yawner?

[AnnieBananie]

LOLLZ... I don't even acknowledge other people in the bathroom. My BFF gives me crap (no pun intended) about it too because I don't even talk to HER. Pee, wash hands, exit... THEN we resume our conversation.

[OrianaVianey]

Well I've know to talk with strangers in the most unusual places... I can say a funny remark over the sink at the bathroom while I wash my hands... but never talk from stall to stall (not even with friends) and definetly never do more business in public bathrooms!!

This was funny tho

[LeeAndra]

Evidently, I yawned really loudly.

I'm so a 'get in and get out' kind of person when it comes to the bathroom, too. FI loves to announce what number he is taking as he walks to the bathroom and searches for the perfect book/magazine to read in there. YUCK.

[maggie965]

Oh my, that is just too funny! LOL!

[lizzyfizzy]

here lies fizzster she died of laughter.

[iJenny]

here lies fizzster she died of laughter.

:D

[Kat Stokes]

here lies fizzster she died of laughter.

and Kat is lying next to her with her tear soaked face......... https://www.sweetshoppecommunity.com/forum/images/icons/laugh.gif

[MelissaL88]

and Mel is laid out beside Kat & Fizzter with her make-up running down her face. Thank goodness I have an office to myself! :D

[lovely1m]

lol..that is too weird. Normally women are ultra embarressed to be doing More Business anywhere and do it as quick and discretly as possible. lol

[alansrock]

All I know is that this made me laugh!

[junebug]

o.m.g. You should be a stand up comedian! You're freaking hillarious!!

i try to avoid doing #2 in a public bathroom. i need my privacy, lol.

[sczos911]

Do we work in the same office?

Cause I have people TALKING ON THE CELL PHONE in the potties. Yes. And bringing files into the bathroom. Not to mention other odds and ends - water, coffee lunch into the women's bathroom.

EWWWWW....

[Kat Stokes]

Same thing in our building Stephanie. And so many who don't wash their hands afterwards......... GROSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, and please, if you insist on doing "more business" in a public restroom, please do a courtesy flush during your elongated stay in the stall.........

[mixedclawzz]

OMG!

You really should be a standup comedian!
I just about choked to death! And have been laughing for about the last 5 minutes.

If I would do that in a public, l try to be as inconspicuous as possible.:blink: You go in, do your business, WASH YOUR HANDS, & get out. Don't make eye contact, no speaking, Don't even nod!

Also it amazes me that in 2009, everyone still doesn't wash their hands after using the bathroom. That is absolutely disgusting. :cursing: Then in the bathrooms with only the blowers, a poor sap(usually me) has to go after them and touch the same door handle to leave. Gross.

[krystalhartley]

Thanks for that, girl! I am so entertained! Enough of these little gems, and I'm quite certain you could give Robert Fulgham (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Fulghum) a run for his money!

[pbumbaca]

Laying down on the floor next to the rest of the ladies that have died laughing after I've choked to death on the water I was drinking while reading this!

[~Julie~]

OMG this thread is hilarious.. LOL

[momtutu]

Ok, so when I worked at the hospital, we had a fairly small office area that had a big single bathroom in it. We all sat at small cubbies for our paperwork and this one therapist and I somehow ended up with the cubbies that were right in front of that bathroom door. Other therapists would go in there and then leave the door open and we were left to deal with the odiferous poison that wafted out the door. WHY WOULD YOU GO #2 IN THAT BATHROOOM AND THEN LEAVE THE OFFICE WHILE WE HAD TO SIT THERE AFTER YOU LEFT????? We thought about putting a "no dumping" sign on the door. Really, that's just plain rude - there are plenty of other bathrooms to do that in around the hospital!!! Used to drive us nuts!!

[EveRecinella]

OMG, that is a riot! LOL

[Laura_A]

OK, I think conversation in the bathroom is OK while...

a) entering the general area
b) washing hands
c) exiting general area

But NOT from stall to stall. lol Very strange woman indeed.

I have, however, experience public restroom mortification in my lifetime... but somehow I think the unknown person in the stall next to me was even MORE mortified. DD1 Riley was about 3 when I took her into the restroom at the Dinning Facility on base. There were only 2 stalls and someone was in one of them, so the choice was simple. I got Riley's pants down and her up on the camode and she looks up at me, makes a terrible face and blurts out, "Mommy, it smells like FISH in here!". OMG, I tried SO hard not to crack up right there. I tried to shush her bur of course that only made her say, "But it DOES smell like fish". Needless to say, the person in the next stall did not come out until after we were gone. ROFL!

[MelissaL88]

Do we work in the same office?

Cause I have people TALKING ON THE CELL PHONE in the potties. EWWWWW....


There's one gal on my floor that always does this. I think she uses the stall as her private office since she sits in a cube. I mean, C'MON peeps! I don't want to hear your personal conversations while I'm doin' my business :cursing:

[switchwiz]

This is too funny!!! But I agree with Laura that in a work environment where people are not strangers it's ok to talk
OK, I think conversation in the bathroom is OK while...

a) entering the general area
b) washing hands
c) exiting general area

and I hate people talking on cell phones in the bath rooms too---especially if I'm the one having a toot session! I can just hear it now!
"what was that noise?"
"oh" person in stall whispering quietly "the lady next to me just farted, can you believe that?"
Now I'm the center of someone's conversation for a few seconds--that's even worse then someone talking to you from another stall!!!

And I do apoloize up front to anyone I may have offended, but for me, when I need to do "more business" I just can't wait. It's gonna happen no matter where I am.

[Priscilla]

you are a riot :D