Do You Eat Dinner As A Family

[joelsgirl]

We always ate dinner together growing up, but clearly I dont' have memories of eating together when I was four. Because eating dinner with a four year old is the pits.

Dinnertime is like the worst part of the day. Joel's fussing at the kids to stay on their bottoms (they are 2&4) and fussing at Jack (who is four and hates to eat) to eat and then fussing at me for not making them do either one. I hate it. It is such a bad experience.

I have been thinking that maybe I should feed the kids early and then Joel and I can eat later, but they don't go to bed till 7:30 and I don't think we can wait that long to eat.

What do you do?

[Dottie]

There is only DH and myself, so dinner time is a great. It is a time when we both catch with each others day.

[jovi_girl]

with a three month old baby, we very rarely eat together anymore. Normally one of us (whichever one is least hungry) holds the baby while the other one quickly scoffs something down, then we swap.

We always did family dinners when we were kids. i hope we can do that someday, tho i can only imagine how difficult it must be with toddlers.

[Nathalie]

We always have dinner together - it is the only time of the day where we all have time and sit together, talking about our day. This is FAMILY time, very important to us. Our kids are now 4 and 7 - yes, we have some days where... oh well, you know :D But most of the time it works well. I discovered, the more you fuss, the more chaos it will be during dinner time and I simply want this as family time without stress. And when DS (4) started being fussy during dinner, we simply told him that if he wouldn't finish, next time when we would have spaghetti or any other of his favourits, he would get something else, because he wouldn't finish his other dinner. That works as a charm ;)

[NettieB]

Kellie - I am right there with you. DH and I def. have different styles when it comes to getting Mr. Picky Eater to consume food and then what kind of food it should be.

Right now, i think it's helping me lose weight, this whiny face off dance each night.

Conversely, having dinner as a family is important, and you have to start sometime.

Aarrgh.

[emmasmommy]

We always try to eat dinner together, but DH works crazy hours so it doesn't always happen. At the very least, I sit and eat dinner with the girls and then when Darik gets home I"ll sit with him while he eats.

[rachaelsscraps]

We eat dinner together. Our 4-year old is tough, but it's getting better, I think. Our baby is almost 4 months old and is sitting well on her own in the high chair, so she'll be joining us at the table very soon. For now she sits in her swing next to the table.

[Tracyfish]

L.J. and I sit at the table together every night, but Jay doesn't get home until 7-7:30 every night so he normally sits in the recliner to eat and L.J. stands there and talks his ear off the whole time. LOL!

[Sharon Kay]

We always ate dinner together growing up, but clearly I dont' have memories of eating together when I was four. Because eating dinner with a four year old is the pits.

Dinnertime is like the worst part of the day. Joel's fussing at the kids to stay on their bottoms (they are 2&4) and fussing at Jack (who is four and hates to eat) to eat and then fussing at me for not making them do either one. I hate it. It is such a bad experience.

I have been thinking that maybe I should feed the kids early and then Joel and I can eat later, but they don't go to bed till 7:30 and I don't think we can wait that long to eat.

What do you do?

Well mine are teens now so I don't have that problem...however...if I were you (and I was there at one point and did this)...I would feed them earlier... and then put them in a "safe place" to play and then you two eat...realizing you might have to get up to put out fires or check on them. We had a "gated" playroom right off of the kitchen diningroom (ok it was the livingroom!) and it was much more peaceful to feed them earlier and then dh and I and the older child eat later (not after bedtime...after they were done eating).

I know family time at the dinnertable is important...but at that age...SANITY is more important...

[nikkiARNGwife]

We do most nights...but there are many nights that I will feed the kids early if I want to just have some time to sit and talk with DH b/c like you said...when you eat with a 4 y/o you spend most of your time telling him to sit down and eat. I cheat a little sometimes...we have a small tv in our kitchen and I've been known to turn on Noggin while we eat b/c at least he'll watch and be quiet lol.

[Stacey42]

We eat dinner together nearly every night. Though at least once a week I abandon ship, announce dinner is 'free play' and go hide in the bedroom with a bowl of soup. Family dinner is not always a source of joy. But it is slowly swinging toward being good more often than not.

The way I see it, dinner together is important as a group & the kids need to learn proper table behavior & they are not going to learn in eating on their own, with no examples to see and just me nagging. And I don't want the burden all on me, because if they get fed seperately, it isn't DH feeding them & standing over them, reminding to sit down, stop throwing food, playing with forks, making fart jokes at the table, eat their food, don't spit their food back out, etc. It is exhausting & I refuse to take it on alone. We will suffer through this learning time together as a family. :) The boys are 5 & 7 now and it is better than it was when they were 3 & 4. It will get better

[laurabobaura]

df doesn't get home from work until after the kids are in bed, but i'd say it's 50/50 the nights that i eat with the kids...or if i'm just sitting next to them. mostly because i don't eat the same foods they do, so i will make theirs first. if it's something we all eat- like pasta- then the three of us sit down. :)

[lauren grier]

no. it's something that I keep trying to work on.. I just honestly do not like eating with ce. there's only the two of us so I don't have any real excuses :p

[LibbysMommy]

We eat dinner together every night and most every night it's enjoyable except for the fact that Libby is four. Like you all have mentioned, a lot more time than necessary is spent telling her to sit down and to eat her dinner.

[pewtertm]

Sorry to say we rarely have family meals, except maybe once or twice on weekends. That's mainly due to DH's work schedule...maybe one day he'll work days and we can have a routine family meal.

[Linz]

yep, almost always. dh is home from work by 5:30 most nights, so that helps... and although ds is almost 4, you'd never know it if you saw him eat. :blink: he can seriously out-eat me (and sometimes dh!) and he'll eat just about anything we put in front of him. i'm the only picky eater in this house. :D

[Kat Stokes]

We did eat together as a family when I was a kid - in front of the TV on tv trays...

We try to sit at the table as a family at least three times a week. DH works 2 nights a week so on those nights the kids eat at the kitchen counter/highchair. I usually eat much later on those nights... My DH is the same way Kellie. However, it's gotten a lot better as D-man has gotten older. Usually the younger one has already eaten his "meal" by the time we sit at the table and we just give him some of what we have to entertain him while we eat.

[HeatherKS]

This is something I've become pretty vigilant about just in the past year or so. Before that, we took dinner to the living room and watched in front of the tv. But growing up, we always ate dinner as a family so it's important to me that we do the same. It's the only time of the day where we're all together and have a little time to catch up on each others' days. Our kids are 7, 4, & 2 so we have our fair share of chaos, but it has gotten infinitely better since now the kids know what the routine is and are comfortable with it. There are definitely nights when our 2 year old wants nothing to do with sitting still and on those nights, I just don't fight it. I let him eat what he will and then I send him to the LR or his bedroom to play while we finish eating. Nights like that it's just not worth the struggle.

And on a side note, their behavior at restaurants has gotten better since we started eating at the table at home too. I think they are learning what to do/how to act during meals and that has brought our stress level way down on nights we eat out.

[newfiemountiewife]

We are an other.

I cook dinner at 5 pm each day. My DH works crazy shifts (he's a cop) so if he's home, he eats with us. If not, the kids and I eat together, and he eats when he's able.

We really like to do this, it is a real connection for our family to do. If DH has to go to work at 5, I try to have dinner ready early, but it's hard. Work will be starting for me soon, I work 2 days a week, 4-7 pm, so it's going to fool up our schedule somewhat.

[scrapperjade]

We try to have supper together as a family as often as we can. I started working in the evenings (before DH is home), so we really only get to do it 3 times a week usually. BUT before that, it was EVERY night.

Thank goodness Ava is a good eater still (she's not quite 2). We started eating as a family since she was a newborn - we have a high chair that reclines so we'd recline it and strap her in, and she'd "eat" with us, lol. So she's used to it. She knows we don't eat unless its at the table.

I have no idea if she'll stay being a good eater and sitter, but I hope so!! I hope you can find a solution that works for your family!

[Shawna Clingerman]

I JUST started making dinner regularly for my family (thank you menus4moms (http://www.menus4moms.com/)!)... before that most of the time I'd make something kid friendly (hotdogs/fishsticks/macandcheese) and feed the boys at the table, and dh and i would watch tv together and eat in the other room. Mostly I did it because I was just not going to eat the kid stuff and also I was not feeling the whole "cooking" thing. It was so frustrating when I did cook a big meal, and we all sat down and then stress would ensue, not to mention they never liked anything at that age.

I don't know honestly I think when your kids are younger, and you stay at home, you see a LOT of them through out the day... so the whole dinner as a family thing doesn't feel so needed... but now that the three older ones are all in school I don't see them all day and I'm starting to see a need for dedicated "together time". They are only going to get older and if we don't start spending family time now, it will be harder to get them to spend time with us as they are middle schoolers/high schoolers.

One of the surprising benefits of having been more lax about dinner time when they were younger, is that now they honestly see every family dinner as some sort of a novelty or treat or something - so they ohh and aww over my cooking and are highly enthusiastic about sitting down together. Its very sweet, and makes all that cooking/cleaning seem worth it.

[Shawna Clingerman]

you know kellie, i was going to add - that i think if this is something that is just not working for you (and yeah, clearly seems to make you miserable at this point!) then i really think you SHOULD change something. you should never feel guilty about finding what works best for you and your family.

there are somethings that have these idealistic auras surrounding them, that have a tendancy to make us moms feel like we HAVE to do things a certain way to be a good parent or something.... but I just personally think that there is no ONE WAY that is going to be the best fit for the whole family - maybe dinners together is the best for you guys, or maybe it is just not working at THIS point in time, and you should try something else and then come back to that when it won't make you want to claw your eyes out :p

i have a friend with younger kids and she ALWAYS feeds them earlier and then eats with her husband after the kids are in bed. she swears by it, and says it is the one thing that keeps her evenings feeling sane - and she is one of the very best moms I know.

i just wanted to say that because i just think there shouldn't be so much judgement and pressure for us moms - do what works for you, there isn't a one way that HAS to be done - families have different needs and that is ok.

[beaucat]

My five year old has a serious health condition where he HAS to eat at meals so meal times are often a battle for us. (Ever seen someone take 45 minutes to take seven bites? I have even if said item was something he himself picked off a menu.)

I've thought (and threatened) to send him to eat at another table by himself (when at home) just to end the insanity so I feel your pain. Dinnertime is not fun when you or your spouse is constantly having to monitor your children.

As far as the behavior thing goes, it seems to get better as they get older. DS is significantly better table manner wise than he was at four. DS likes to stand at the table rather than sit so we've really been working on that one.

I'd probably try to hang in there. See if you could point out to your husband that they're two and four. You could always try separate meals though - my DS wouldn't want to eat alone, not sure about your kids.

[alien21xx]

I really wish we could have dinner more often together, coz I only see my dad and brother at dinner time. I'm at work most of the day so I just don't see them. Even when I lived in Manila, I very rarely eat with my family because my work was on a shifting schedule, which sucks so badly (but paid so well, damn!)

[Misty Cato]

I'm not sure how to vote. We eat dinner together everyday, but I wouldn't say it's the best part of the day, nor that it's dreadful either. But yeah, we do.

[junebug]

when i was growing up we all sat at the dining room table and ate. but we don't, lol. the kids have a little table that they eat at, usually in their room (wood floor in there) and Chad eats at his desk and i either eat at the table or at my desk. i wish it were otherwise; if we ever get my dream house i want to be better at stuff like that; more organized and actually eat at the table. right now its just not important to me.

[ajf9597]

We always eat together as a family. DS never had a problem sitting while we ate, but is picky. DD however, I feel is going to be a different story, so we'll see.

[lizzyfizzy]

we eat dinner together every single night. (unless someone is away or whatever and we are down a family member) we have taught our children table manners from the beginning so it's always been pleasant. i enjoy that time so much, we make it our family run down session so there is lots of updating, laughing and story telling. :thumbup: i think it's one of the most important things we do as a family.

[4noisyboys]

I would be an other. If I'm home (I work at nights sometimes), we do, but one of my boys has college classes at night too, so if I get home at 5, he has to leave by 5:30, so he has to grab something quick and eat when he gets home. We try to have dinner together at least a few times a week. It's crazy, but we've been doing this schedule for 3 years and it works ok.

We always ate dinner together when the boys were small though. It was not always pleasant though. My second son was and still to this day is very very picky. My third is bipolar, and even though he was not diagnosed at that time, it was hell some evenings. One thing I did (and everyone is different) was to always have something at the table that the picky eaters liked, so if they didn't want to eat our dinner, there was always apple slices, carrot sticks, little pieces of bread with peanut butter on it, etc...That is not to say that there was never screaming or crying though. It is just what worked for us. I have three that eat anything practically, so it wasn't like I made them into picky eaters by catering to them. I just had it available. Casey (ds #2) is home living with us again for awhile (he's 23) and he has been tested with pretty serious allergies to wheat and dairy. It's been kind of hard for him, especially since he's still so picky, but he just has his own food in the house, so if he doesn't like what I'm having, or if it's not something he can have, he can make something for himself.

[Micheline Lincoln]

Weeknights we don't since dh works until 6:30pm and I usually only eat after the kids are in bed, but on weekends we do :) we also have special time with the kids on saturday nights kinda like a movie night

[tuneskids]

I didn't vote cause I need an "other" option. lol On weekends, we all eat together at the table. During the week, some nights the children eat at the table along and I eat in the living room (if I have a headache and can't physically sit with at the table in the bright lights). Some nights it's just me at the table with the kiddos. And some nights, hubby comes home for his "lunch" and we all eat dinner together.

Growing up, in a single parent home, we rarely all ate dinner together, so I don't have many memories of doing this with my mom & brother.

[joelsgirl]

Thanks for your kind words, Shawna. :) I think you are right; I need to find something that works for us, and I am pretty sure this isn't it.

You gals give me hope that someday it will get better!

[newfiemountiewife]

Kellie, we always used to feed the kids separately. It was just easier, because they didn't like what we ate anyway!

Meals shouldn't be stressful. My kids are 9, almost 7, and almost 5. So they are much older than yours. I can guarantee you when they were 4, 2 and newborn, no one sat still and ate! Benjamin and Amelia were up and down like jack in the boxes. That is normal. Little kids don't sit still!

[mlewis]

We do family meals. We always did in my family, and we've continued the tradition. Thankfully, neither of my kids are squirmers and we kept Camden in a booster seat until 4 (and Rory is still in one at 3) so it helps eliminate some of the moving around. When we were both working full-time, I thought it was important because it was a time that we all sat down together and talked about the day. Now that Camden is in school, I find it important so that we can talk about Camden's day. We're big into table manners as well - they've got to learn sometime so might as well start in the beginning! LOL We started a tradition when Camden was 2 - we go around the table and each tell the best and worst thing about our day, and it's been a great way to find out about his day.

[1girl1boy]

We eat together as a family as often as we can and let me me tell you with the almost 3 yr old it's tough. There are nights that the kids eat early and DH and I enjoy a quiet dinner together after they've gone to bed.

[jessica31876]

usually we do eat at the same time but not always in the same room. We do not eat at a dining room table. Mostof the time we eat in the living room. Sometimes the older two will eat in their bedroom while doing homework.

[Shawna Clingerman]

Thanks for your kind words, Shawna. :) I think you are right; I need to find something that works for us, and I am pretty sure this isn't it.

You gals give me hope that someday it will get better!
It WILL get better! I promise! :) In the mean time just do what you need to to keep yourself SANE ;)


Kellie, we always used to feed the kids separately. It was just easier, because they didn't like what we ate anyway!

Meals shouldn't be stressful. My kids are 9, almost 7, and almost 5. So they are much older than yours. I can guarantee you when they were 4, 2 and newborn, no one sat still and ate! Benjamin and Amelia were up and down like jack in the boxes. That is normal. Little kids don't sit still!

yep exactly :thumbup:

[Leah]

The kids and I eat dinner together every single night. DH works late most nights and is home just before bedtime, so it's a treat when he gets to join us.

Kids thrive on structure and consistency. It's good for them to see adults sitting down with them, they watch and they learn. Some days I wish I could take my plate to the bedroom and enjoy my food in peace and quiet, but it's more important to me to set a good example for my kids.

I have a very, very low tolerance for fussy eaters at this house, so the rule is that they have to sit there whether they eat or not. They won't let themselves starve, so they eat what's served.

[neenee]

We always eat dinner as a family. Well, those of us that are home at the time. DD#1 is usually not around for dinner now that she is an adult and working, going to school, etc.

We eat dinner everyday by 5:30 and it is on usually on the table when Daddy walks in the door. We love this time as it is when everyone is together and can talk about their day and I can give updates, reminders etc. to DH and the kids.

We always ate almost as a family growing up. My Dad never ate at the table. He ate in the living room in his recliner watching TV but, Mom and all of the kids ate at the table. I always wished he would have joined us.

[MissKim]

We have always eaten as a family, and do so now even though Dan isn't home for dinner 4 nights a week. When Chesney was a newborn, she still sat at the table during dinner.

We have a rule... you get out of your seat, you're done eating. Chesney used to try to eat a bit, then wander, then come back and eat a bit. She did that once, got up, and I dumped her plate even though she had just started eating. She never did it again. Same with eating new foods. I serve them everything. If they don't want to try it, that's fine, but I'm not making something different for them. Of course, now my kids are old enough that if they don't like something, they can fix something else. There's a lot of PB&J eating going on here some weeks.

[crystalbella77]

We always eat together but the boys are usually eating something different than what I made or throwign a fit about what we are trying to get them to eat. In general it's not usually that bad....but sometiems it is. If I just cater to them it is lovely, lol!

[~Julie~]

Most of the time yes. We didn't before and the girls always said something about it so I made it a priority to do it when we moved. Now we sit there and talk about work, school etc.

[SeattleSheri]

We eat together 90% of the time. I wouldn't say it's my favorite part of the day, but I like it :)

[Sheana]

We try to sit down and eat together every single night, it doesn't always happen. But it's my favorite time of the day! When my girls were younger though, I couldn't wait to get dinner over with.. it was just sooooo stressful. As they have gotten older, it has gotten way better.

[Jennilyn]

I didn't choose any of the options. My hubby works weird hours so he isn't usually home until 7 or so. The girls and I have supper together then he has it reheated when he comes home or gets something else.