Q for SAHM who used to work

[newfiemountiewife]

I work part time in the winter coaching figure skating. We CAN make things work on DH's salary alone, but it will be extremely tight. I no longer want to go to skating, the crazy parents are a big part of it, but I don't like having all of my weekends gone in January and February. I don't like missing meals and homework with my kids on the days I have skating. My littlest is going to Grade 1 and needs a lot of extra help, and with my DH working shift work (he's a cop) I'm worried she won't get everything she needs.

I will be looking for work that I can do day time, since all three of my kids will be in school all day until 3 pm. I can do something part time, which will help. The hourly wage will be nothing like what I make doing skating, I'd have to work at least double the hours to make the same amount of money.

For those of you who used to work, and quit to stay at home full time, how did you make the changes you needed to? Was it hard? Financially, we can do it, it'll mean a lot of changes for us, and I don't know how hard it will be.

I'd love some advice!

[scrap2day]

I'm not a SAHM so I can't give advice like that but I do live a somewhat frugal lifestyle.

You already said that you think you will be able to swing it financially so if you adopt some "frugal" hints and tips here and there it will probably be easier than you think.

I started using coupons this summer but I've heard that our friends up North (Canada) don't get a lot of good manufacturers coupons so that probably would not have been helpful anyway. But you probably have sales at the grocery. Try to stick to buying items on sale. Make yourself a pantry. Others call it a stockpile but I prefer the term pantry. LOL. (i.e. buy items on sale. buy enough for your family to use to carry you until the next sale).

Make your own bread. If you really want, I've heard that even if you buy a breadmaker it will usually pay for itself. We've made pizza dough from scratch without a bread maker (admittedly, I had my mom come over for the first time because I really do not know my way around a kitchen). But it was wonderful! You can even give the kids their own little piece of dough to make into their own pizza. Even the picky eaters usually eat better.

Organize errand trips to save on gas, oil, wear & tear on your car.

There are so many frugal sites and blogs with wonderful ideas. Choose what works best for your family. Maybe your husband wants a meal with more meat but you don't mind soup. So have the soup when he is gone at work. You'll be helping to save money and if you like it anyway it's not really a burden. Try to take notice of waste. For instance if your child never finishes a sandwich at lunch just make 1/2 sandwich and fill in with fruit/veggies/cheese or if they want a second half, make a second half. I'm not saying to deny a child food. It's just that if every day you throw out 1/2 a sandwich, then stop making the extra that will get wasted... or 1/2 glass of milk, etc. Really, I find it sort of a game to figure out how to save money while still having some "treats" here and there (after all I do shop in the Sweet Shoppe, we are members of our zoo, etc).

[newfiemountiewife]

Thank you! A lot of that makes sense. I've not been a big spender, but I've not been frugal either. Especially with groceries. I want it, I get it, sale or not. I KNOW I can do much better on the groceries, and you're right, we don't get very good coupons here.

I suppose our biggest hurdle is living so far out in the middle of nowhere, the produce (which I'd prefer to eat) costs a lot, and it's not very good quality. The nearest bigger center is about 1 hour 15 minutes away. We also don't have a lot to offer kids in this area, so once a week we take them into the city for gymnastics and ballet. I am scared I'll have to give that up, and I don't want to, kwim?

[scrap2day]

Oh I definitely understand that.

If I could I would try to make any other errands fit in to my trip to the city for gymnastics and ballet. That may be hard to do though if your kids are tired after class. And shopping with cranky kids is so not worth it. LOL.

I get fruits and veggies frozen. Mainly veggies. I can not seem to figure out how to make the fruit taste sweet again without adding sugar. We tried to have a garden this year but that didn't work out very well.

Cooking from scratch can help. You could also make your own "box" mixes. For instance I prefer my mom's pancake recipe to the box. So I can measure out all of the dry ingredients into a zip bag or container and then add the wet ingredients when I'm actually making them. You can do that for a cake, cookie, etc. So instead of paying someone else to make up the box, you make it. In my opinion, it usually tastes a lot better too. Just make a few at a time so you have some on hand.

Plus, lots of things can be made ahead of time and frozen. For instance, on pancake day I will make extras and freeze them. So easy to take out on a day when I'm too busy to make them from scratch.

Good luck! This really can be fun.

[NeverendingJen]

I'm not a SAHM right now, but I was staying at home. I just went back to work because I needed the time and space, personally.

Tips:
Get on a strict budget-start with the necessities(rent/mortgage, insurance, car payments/insurance/gas, utilities, groceries, etc.) and then see if there is anywhere you can cut costs there-we managed to drop our insurance payment 65 dollars a month by raising the deductible for my car, since I only drive locally and am a very safe driver. We just made sure that we also added extra to our savings fund to compensate for that. Then look at the wants, and list them in order of priority-it sounds like gymnastics and such for your kids is a high priority to you, so you find other ways to cut your budget to save-we just reduced our netflix bill a bit because we never used all our rentals at once anyway, and it was a way to cut costs. The key is once you make this budget, stick to it. It might be painful for the first month or so, but once you are used to living on a tight budget it isn't as bad.

Shop sales(always), buy seasonal, buy store brand as often as possible, keep lights off and appliances unplugged if they are rarely used to help cut bills, try changing your heat/cool settings to try and save that way as well.

Living on a tiught budget isnt too fun for our family, but it is definitely worth it to us to live basically debt free(my car is the only thing we have a debt on, as we don't own a home).

[nikkiARNGwife]

We had a little bit of an advantage in that we decided to work toward me staying home before we had kids. We did Dave Ramsey's program...sold one of our vehicles..paid off all our debt and really pinched the pennies. It was hard hard work but we are in a pretty stable place now financially..it's hard to let go of your wants for a while..but it really pays off in the end.

And once you get used to living on a budget like that it really becomes easier (although at first believe me I hated it lol)...while we don't HAVE to watch what we spend as much now as then, we still set a budget for everything every month and pretty much stick to it.

[MamaBee]

I stopped working when my kiddo was 9 months old. It took me a good year in transition to get over feeling guilty in not working. Don't get me wrong, I was very happy to be able to be home with kiddo... but for 10 years my job was a part of me, a part of my identity. I felt like I wasn't helping out and I felt like I didn't have anything to talk about with hubby since we talked work a lot. So for me that was the hardest.

As for financial side of things... it really wasn't hard, just a different mind set. Just with me not working... I didn't need as much cash for lunch out with co-workers, after work social events, work clothes, day care costs, $$ toward gifts for coworkers, gas money to go to and from work, etc. Now we eat at home more than going out after work because I'm too tired to work... most of kiddo's clothes and toys come from yard sales... and when it comes to clothes I'm a brand name girl... I make out good on this! ;) I do some coupons, but I'm very selective in what I get... we don't eat foods that have high fructose corn syrup and I limit my gluten. We cut out cable... now watch on the web... switch cell phone plans, etc.

And to be honest... I don't miss the things I had/did before. We do not owe on the cars/house. I still love my coach bags... but getting one every other year instead of a few times a years (I only shopped outlet/ebay... did that before, still do)... it cool. But don't touch my digi-budget... that one I'm still working on. LOL!


HTH!

[newfiemountiewife]

I wanted to add too, we are debt free aside from our van (we only have one vehicle) and we do not own a home. So that is a plus.

I hate feeling stifled. I just applied for a couple of jobs online with some local businesses, and I'll bring my resume around to other places this week. I don't need something huge, just need something, even if it just covers the kids activities.

Thank you guys for your help!

[KateD]

We did a similar program to Dave Ramsey called Crown Financial. That was really good for us. A couple of websites to check out are Frugal Upstate (http://www.frugalupstate.com/), which a friend of mine operates, and flylady (www.flylady.org). Good luck!

[LeeAndra]

I find food to be the easiest way to save money, so coupons/sales, investing in a deep freezer so you can buy things on sale and keep them until you need them, shopping the perimeter of the store (meat, produce, dairy), and buying generic/store brand helps a lot. If your kids are used to a certain brand of snack, store whatever it is in Tupperware containers and they often don't know the difference once they can't see the packaging. Along the same lines, sort out all the snacks ahead of time into baggies so that everyone gets one serving at a time. This will help save money and save calories, too. If you are used to eating out a lot, make eating at home a game: have a Restaurant Night one night a week with tablecloth, cloth napkins, good dishes, menus, etc. Have each of your kids responsible for one dinner a week so that they choose (from a predetermined list) the meal and help prepare it.

Come up with a list ahead of time of cheap/free things to do for fun: park, library, movies from the library, board/card games, etc. You can also slightly tweak each idea to make it a brand new one, too, i.e. instead of going to the park to play on the playground, come up with a scavenger hunt ahead of time of easy things you'd see at the park. See if the kids have any suggestions. Arrange playdates with their friends at your house or their house.

Volunteer at your kids' school so you get to know other moms in the area. Moms always have the hookup when it comes to good deals. I know that you live in a small town, but if there is any museum, putt-putt golf place, etc. do a little investigating and see if any of those places have free days or group discounts. Sign up for their e-newsletters in case they send out some kind of coupon or whatever.

Volunteer your whole family to help with your community: a park clean up day, shoveling snow for a neighbor, helping at the homeless shelter. Whatever you can get your kids plugged into to make them realize they are lucky to have the family they have and the things they have will help the 'gimme gimme's go away quickly.

The most important thing is your (and Hubby's) attitude. Make each new change seem like something fun and positive. No complaining or griping allowed from anyone in the family. Along with being fun and positive, be firm, too. Whatever sacrifices you and they have to make need to be approached as a 'This is the way it is now' thing. Don't let them talk you into spending money that you don't have even if you really really want to. Make sure that you and Hubs create and agree on a budget and stick to it no matter what; don't let the kids talk him into spending money you don't have, either.

Love you, James! HTH! :)

[newfiemountiewife]

Thanks LA. I really want to make this work, the only problem I really foresee is savings. We just will not be able to put anything away, and that worries me also.

I need to sleep on this a bit. My heart really wants to be at home with my kids after school to spend time with them, to work with them. Then I figure, skating is only 2 days out of 7, and the money is just really good per hour. What I make in one hour skating will take me at least 3 in a regular retail job. So I can work a lot less hours for the same pay, but the hours are SO inconvenient.

I'm indecisive too, which doesn't help LOL!

[kristijoy]

I wanted to add too, we are debt free aside from our van (we only have one vehicle) and we do not own a home. So that is a plus.

I hate feeling stifled. I just applied for a couple of jobs online with some local businesses, and I'll bring my resume around to other places this week. I don't need something huge, just need something, even if it just covers the kids activities.

Thank you guys for your help!

I have a friend that just got a job as an aide at her kids school. The hours were perfect!

[Sweets2005]

I'm a SAHM, money is tight but we make it work. We only have prepaid cell phones that we use very rarely. We only have limited cable of a handful of channels (which is only the major networks and like PBS stations) for only $10/month. We have Vonage basic phone service for $20/month. We find free things to do for fun as a family as much as we can, and hardly ever go shopping. We buy most of the clothes for now second hand at the Mothers of Multiples tag sale and we use cloth diapers. Good luck! :)

[mrs_jb]

Just wanted to give you a HUG! I also am really loving all the ideas in this thread because I desperately need them as well!!!

[newfiemountiewife]

And an update!

I went to get groceries today, and the store manager happened to be in the aisle I was shopping in. Rae says to him "hey, what's your name" LOL. I told him I put in a resume online last night, and should I come by with a paper resume. He said "when can you come back" LOL. He ran out and got me an application, he said that they are always looking for daytime staff, which would be perfect!

Yay!

[HeatherKS]

I was going to suggest a part-time job as well. I work mornings at our church (8:30-noon M-F) and it really is perfect for me right now with the kids being young. I'm not getting rich by any means but I'm contributing to the family's bottom line and getting out of the house too. ;) This job sort of fell in my lap when I was at a crossroad in my life and it has worked out well for us. I don't have any tips on being frugal because that's something I haven't grasped yet myself - probably why I feel the need to work still. :p

[scrap2day]

And an update!

I went to get groceries today, and the store manager happened to be in the aisle I was shopping in. Rae says to him "hey, what's your name" LOL. I told him I put in a resume online last night, and should I come by with a paper resume. He said "when can you come back" LOL. He ran out and got me an application, he said that they are always looking for daytime staff, which would be perfect!

Yay!

Oh Yay. That sounds like it might be perfect. I hope it works out. Do you know if they give a discount to employees? That would help you out with groceries too. If not, it still sounds like a good fit. I'm sending positive thoughts. :thumbup:

[kristijoy]

And an update!

I went to get groceries today, and the store manager happened to be in the aisle I was shopping in. Rae says to him "hey, what's your name" LOL. I told him I put in a resume online last night, and should I come by with a paper resume. He said "when can you come back" LOL. He ran out and got me an application, he said that they are always looking for daytime staff, which would be perfect!

Yay!

Excellent!

[newfiemountiewife]

Oh Yay. That sounds like it might be perfect. I hope it works out. Do you know if they give a discount to employees? That would help you out with groceries too. If not, it still sounds like a good fit. I'm sending positive thoughts. :thumbup:

I heard they did, so that would help SO much! I will ask today!