Teens and curfews

[Scrapper007]

Our oldest dd just turned 16 and will start her junior year of HS Tuesday. This summer, her curfew was 10:00 during the week and 12 on the weekends. She plays sports and goes straight to practice right after school ends. She has been getting her homework done at school so rarely has any work at night -- but this could change, as she has some tougher courses this year. She has always been an excellent student so I think that this should count for something when setting her curfew.

I am thinking that 9:00 on school nights seems fair, but of course that is "too early" for her. :blink: I don't know about the weekends (if we should stick with 12:00 or cut it back to 11:00 or so). What curfews have you set/will you set for your teenager(s)?

[Misty Cato]

I don't have teens, but I remember as a teen I had a midnight curfew on the weekends. I don't remember having a specific curfew on weekdays. If I was out, it was for something specific, like a sporting event and I was always expected to be home right after it was done.

My parents were aways really flexible though, if I wanted to stay longer somewhere or after midnight, I just had to call home and ask/let them know. As long as my parent knew where I was, they were very flexible on the curfew. They always made it very clear that if I didn't keep them updated on where I was.who I was with and what I was doing, it would be the end of using the car, so I was very good at communicating :)

[Ebony]

I didn't have a curfew at 16, my parents were very easy-going. If I wanted a lift home (we can't drive by ourselves until 17 in Australia) it had to be before midnight unless I notified them.

I never really pushed boundaries because there were none set, so probably not a great help. I think the times you stated are very reasonable... maybe it could be 9pm weeknights, but longer if she has a special event on. Good luck!

[Leila]

I had the same basic deal as Misty, though my weekend curfew was 11:00 unless there was a special event.

If you feel a need for a specific time, start with 10 with the understanding that it will roll back to 9 if her grades suffer/slip at all? Same for weekends--12 to 11?

[nun69]

my DD will be a Senior this year and she really doesn't have a curfew on the weekdays or weekends....but I always know where she is and who she is with...and if I ever want her home, I call and she is home in a moments notice :) overall she is a good kid and her grades aren't bad, and as of today, I have not caught her in a lie about where she is at, so until she screws up, we will remain laid back....but if we tell her she has to be home by a certain time, she is....so even if we give her a curfew time, she abides by it with no gripes :)...I can only hope that the other 3 will be that way!

[MandaT]

I didn't have a curfew or even many boundries when I lived at home with my mom. Which was okay, I was a good kid, got good grades, etc. I had a boyfriend that lived "in the valley" which was 30 minutes drive, I was allowed to stay at his house on weekends & pretty much whenever. I worked until 12 or 1 am on Fridays/Saturdays, and until 10 on weekdays.

When I was almost 17 (my Jr & Sr years) I moved to my aunt/uncles ranch & I had a 10pm curfew on weekdays, which meant right after work I needed to be home & midnight on weekends.

Experiencing both ends of the spectrum, I appriciated the boundries my aunt set because it made me feel like someone cared, not that my mom didn't it was just different.

[Julie Billingsley]

In Oregon, there is a curfew for young teen drivers, they can't drive from 12:00am-5:00am unless it is for work purposes. So we followed that rule and Jacob's curfew was 11:45pm on Friday/Saturday. The rest of the week it was 9:30pm because he was always in bed by 10pm. (He needs at least 8 hrs of sleep to function, but prefers 12. LOL)

[Gabbina]

I never had a curfews, but I even rarely went out on week days, just on special occasion... and the weekends were way more free, so I could stay out til 12 or maybe even later if it was a special occasion. I need to say italian's kid can't drive till they're 18, so most of the time it wasn't that late, because we always need a lift.

[SweetMelissa]

I don't have teens. But I was recently one. :) My JR year I was allowed up to 10pm on weekdays and 11pm on weekends. Then my senior year I was allowed up to 10:30pm on weekdays and midnight on weekends.

However I had to keep a 3.0 GPA (so mostly B's in my classes) and it was required that I also spend some quality time with my family during the week as well (couldnt just hang out with my friends every day after school).

[newfiemountiewife]

When I was a teen, my curfew was 10:30 during the week, and 1 am on weekends. As long as my grades were good, that worked for us. I was allowed to stay up however late I wanted, again, as long as my grades were good and I wasn't falling asleep in class.

Lucky for my parents, I was fairly responsible. I was a competitive figure skater, so I skated 4x a week, I was in band 1x per week, and I bowled (LOL) 1x per week. I also worked hard at school, so though I had a late curfew during the week, I didn't take advantage of it often.

I think it really depends on the child, and it sounds like your teen is responsible and will know her own limits. I think as long as she does well in school, 10 or 10:30 should be reasonable. When mine are teens, I will adjust depending on the child LOL

[lovely1m]

My curfew during the week depended on what I was doing and what we had going on, mostly I didn't go out, so it was no big deal, just did activities or whatever. It wasn't set. I worked, too. On the weekends it was midnight, bars closed at 1 am where I lived and my dad (the cop) didn't want me on the roads when they were closing. He always told me that if I wanted to stay with friends later, that was fine, I just had to be at his house at midnight, tell him I was there, then we could hang outside or in the basement til whenever. I always thought that was really fair.

[maryinaz]

My boys both have (or had with my oldest since he's now in college) tough schedules with football and honors classes, so they are too tired to do much during the week unless it is a school activity, so I was never really faced with having to set a curfew for weekdays.

At 16 curfew is 11pm on weekends, then goes up to midnight at 17. At 18 we were fairly loose with the curfew, but my son rarely stayed out past midnight and he always let me know when he was home.

[crecia27]

We had our son's week night curfew at 9:30. I wanted to be in bed by 10 so I needed to know he was home and safe before then. He knew the reason why, that I had to get a good nights sleep so I could work the next day and I couldn't do that if he was out wandering around. I also saw no need for him to be out just because he could. The weekends depending on what he was doing, but with him I had reason to keep a tighter watch because he could easily be persuaded to do stupid stuff ;-)