Isn't it interesting [Archive] - Sweet Shoppe Community

ColleenSwerb

10-18-2010, 02:07 PM

the way things change as we age?

A girl I went to high school with friended me on facebook a while back. We played soccer together, and she pretty much hated me, LOL! She could be really nice, but man was she ever awful if she didn't like you. I was voted captain our senior season and I think that if she could've gotten away with it, she would've killed me for that spot, lol. I would say that for the most part, we weren't friends during high school. We certainly didn't hang out at all outside of soccer stuff (or basketball that 1 year we played together).

Normally I wouldn't have accepted her friend request. I'm pretty brutal when it comes to friending people. If you didn't like me, or treated me like crap in high school, you don't get to FB stalk me, end of story. For whatever reason, I accepted her request (perhaps out of morbid curiousity in what she ended up doing with her life?).

Now? She's totally nice to me. This morning we've been chatting about running, and races, and training, and she linked me up to a few potential running groups to train for a half with next year. She's 6 months pregnant, just got married, totally happy and in a great place in life. I never would have thought we'd have that kind of a "friendship" going on. Will we ever meet up in the future? Probably not, but I'm ok with that.

I just thought it was interesting, the way things/relationships/people can change as we get older. :)

SmallFry73

10-18-2010, 02:18 PM

Yep, I had the exact same kind of experience. Now the girl realizes what b**ch she was in high school and regrets treating people the way she did.

adrianka

10-18-2010, 02:19 PM

As we get older, we acquire what I call a civilisation layer. And some things are no longer important (if we really grow).

I've seen this with an ex-schoolmate of mine. She befriended me on FB, and at that phase I didn't ignore friend requests, so I accepted it. We didn't like each other much at high school - our class was all about groups, and she was in the posh group while I was in the sad losers group. That put aside, she's really a nice person and while I'm still a geek and she's not, I find that I have more common topics with her than with most of my old group (with one exception).

Teenagers are really silly, and I'm so happy to be far, far away from that age!

That said, as we grow much older yet, we lose the civilisation layer, so we may be in for some surprises there.

But isn't it great to find out that there's something nice about a person you didn't like? There is a point to FB after all. :-)

pomi

10-18-2010, 02:21 PM

:)

Maybe she is now pretty satisfied with her life and doesn't envy you any more.

And yes, you're right, it is interesting - when we have a meeting with my high school classmates/friends, I'm always a little surprised that I get to chat amazingly with people I didn't have almost anything in common in high school. Or, when we're with my DH's high school friends and I totally love them and then DH says the stories about what they did in the high school, I always think "OMG, I probably couldn't stand them when I was their class mate" LOL.

joelsgirl

10-18-2010, 02:23 PM

I think that no one should be held responsible for things we do or say in high school. You're still trying to figure out who you are, and that requires a lot of trial and error! I wasn't awful to anyone in HS, but I totally regret that I cared more about what my friends thought that about being friends with people who needed a friend.

But there are a couple of girls from jr. high who were pretty awful, and they act like they don't even know me when I see them around town. I don't judge them for how they acted in HS, just for how they act now. ; )

maryinaz

10-18-2010, 02:25 PM

I love seeing how people turned out this so many years later, even if I didn't like them. Sounds like your friend matured, and probably always liked and admired you, and you can now relate to each other.

I, on the other hand, have one friend on FB that I've known since 3rd grade and she is still occasionally as rude as she was back in high school. I find myself deleting some of her comments on my statuses. She loves to scold me when I whine about how hot it is here - I'm totally upfront that I'm whining, so she doesn't need to scold me to count my blessings. :P

nonnie

10-18-2010, 04:40 PM

I think that no one should be held responsible for things we do or say in high school.

AMEN!!! I have 2 teenagers and I see SO much of myself in my teenage daughter and it makes me cringe. I think as teenagers we are just such selfish people. I know that I am totally NOT the person I was in high school. I am still funny, outgoing friendly, creative ect.... but I am much more aware of my actions and the consequences they have especially on others. And the things that made me happy then are not the same.

Case in point - I dated assy jocks. Married one the 1st time around. Now I am married to a nerd and I LOVE HIM!!!! I would have NEVER looked at him twice in high school. I was an idiot in High School - Thank GOD its over!!!!!

dna13

10-18-2010, 04:42 PM

I totally have a friend like that on FB. It is very interesting to see how people have changed. I am still trying to come to terms with the fact that most people i went to school with are still single and have no kids. And party like it's 1999. ;)

Paula

10-18-2010, 05:10 PM

It is amazing isn't it? I have friended some peeps from high school that I totally could not stand because they were stuck up. Now, they are just the sweetest people ever.

Beth Swann

10-18-2010, 05:32 PM

As we get older, we acquire what I call a civilisation layer. And some things are no longer important (if we really grow).

I love the "civilization layer" phrase! I think I'm gonna have to use that one!
:thumbup:

lovely1m

10-18-2010, 05:39 PM

So weird. I have had a number of people I don't like add me on FB and apparently I am too nice to not add them back cause I have done it everytime. lol

newfiemountiewife

10-18-2010, 05:55 PM

I think as we grow and experience life, we do change. Well, most of us do LOL. I have noticed that a lot of my friends from high school haven't changed at all, and I have no interest in them. One thing that has happened to me is, I have contact with relatives such as second cousins I didn't even used to really know, but now I talk to them every day on FB. It's really nice. I love FB for that reason.

AmyM

10-18-2010, 11:02 PM

I think that no one should be held responsible for things we do or say in high school.

Yes! This! I love seeing how people have changed. Some for the better and some just got wilder with age. Amazing how people ditch you as soon as you grow up and learn to behave like an adult. Seeing their "lives" now on facebook I'm not so sad about losing contact with certain folks.
There's one in particular I wasn't close with in HS but in my early 20's we picked back up. Now she is my best friend in the world and our girls are best friends. I wouldn't trade her for all 25 of my fake old partying buddies. They can have at it.

strawberryredhead

10-19-2010, 09:08 AM

ColleenSwerb

10-19-2010, 10:22 AM

I love that others have had the same experience. It certainly makes me re-think judging people based on their pasts. :)

junebug

10-19-2010, 01:57 PM

i have had that happen on Facebook as well. there was a girl that lived near me and its like she only wanted to play with me when there was no one else around. we could spend several days hanging out, sleeping over at each others houses, etc. but then she'd turn around and be mean to me lol. it happened all the time. then she moved away in elementary school and i never saw her again. but she friend requested me on facebook and i accepted because i'm too nice to say no (unless i have no clue who you are lol). we've chatted a bit back and forth and its nice, as adults, to connect with someone again that you never thought you'd hear from again.

scrapperjade

10-19-2010, 02:56 PM

Confession time...I actually friended someone so I could apologize to her for something I did to her in high school. I've felt bad about it since I've "grown up" but never thought I would talk to her again. We had a nice chat and she accepted my apology.

Oh my gosh - that is SO awesome!! I'm so glad you were able to do that! It probably eased your conscience and made her feel really good too!

Angie4b1g

10-19-2010, 08:56 PM

ColleenSwerb

10-19-2010, 09:23 PM

DawnMarch

10-19-2010, 09:32 PM

I was thinking the other day about how weird it is that when you are in highschool, certain kids have so much power over each other and it all seems so earth-shatteringly important, when now I realize that highschool kids are such insecure, pimply punks. :D It's really too bad that you can't have more life perspective when you are that age!

pomi

10-20-2010, 03:00 AM

adrianka

10-20-2010, 03:51 AM

I have no use for people I went to high school with. If I wanted to keep in touch with you, I probably did. If you treated me like crap, I don't care how much you changed, I have no desire to kiss and make up.

Am I a bad person? lol

Nope. If it's people who made my life utterly miserable, I don't care how wonderful they are now. I defriended several of them (in the beginning, I never ignored requests, now I'm wiser).

As a matter of fact, I don't think those people changed that much. It's the civilisation layer I was speaking about. And the fact of having grown older. But in some situations some people would treat you the same way now, come the circumstances.

That said, teenagers are teenagers and nothing they do should be held against them too much, but if somebody bullied me, I'm not interested in appreciating them now. I don't spend my life sulking about it, but thank you, live your lives and I will live mine.

DeepGirl

10-20-2010, 04:06 AM

I have no use for people I went to high school with. If I wanted to keep in touch with you, I probably did. If you treated me like crap, I don't care how much you changed, I have no desire to kiss and make up.

I totally agree with you, Angie! That's why I did not attend the re-union meeting after 5 years (2006) and definitelly won't attend the 2011 re-union.
I meet with those who became my friends and I really don't care if that booby blonde who had to paint face on her mug every morning had nine or ten boyfriends or whether the hysterical posh daughter of Minister's Secretary currently suffers from anorexis, depression or wants to find peace in Indian monastery. :p

adrianka

10-20-2010, 04:31 AM

I don't attend school reunions either. I'm a loser in everybody's eyes as I'm probably the only one who's not married with children, and, ironically, at the same time I'm very much NOT a loser in everybody's eyes because I have the best job of them all and lead what they might see as an interesting life. This leads to envy and to pointing out that hey, you're a spinster. So thanks, no.

I was kind of curious about elementary school reunion, but that ended up typically - I was invited like three days before it happened. I live one thousand kilometres from my home town, so, since I knew from another girl that this was planned months in advance, I had absolutely no motivation to go there and spend like a thousand euros for an air ticket to see those people who don't care to inform me in advance.

I'm in contact with those that I'm interested in, and that's it.

Still, FB helped to change my opinion about a couple of people, which I'm thankful for. But I don't think that we will become friends, I'm just happy that I could rid of some prejudice against certain people. Always glad for an occasion to change my opinion for the better.

MissKim

10-20-2010, 07:04 AM

I have no use for people I went to high school with. If I wanted to keep in touch with you, I probably did. If you treated me like crap, I don't care how much you changed, I have no desire to kiss and make up.

Am I a bad person? lol

This. Except I didn't keep in touch with anyone from high school, so I really have no use for anyone. I haven't attended one reunion (we just had our 20th), and I'm only facebook friends with less than 10 of my high school classmates, and they're people that I actually thought were OK in high school. I am not facebook friends with anyone I didn't like in high school. I can hold a grudge. I also do not add anyone from high school. If they add me, I will give them due consideration. However, I don't have my maiden name on there, so for them to find me, they almost have to be someone who kept in touch long enough to know my married name (then again, I got married 2 years out of high school, so it's not that hard).

This topic actually just made me go through my friend list. I have some people on Facebook that were actually my sister's friends back in high school (we're 4 years apart, so not in high school at the same time), and now they've become friends either because they read my blog or we have shared interests. I like these people a lot more.... they've made an effort to connect with me. Attending high school at the same time is not a connection.

Gemma

10-20-2010, 07:11 AM

I have no use for people I went to high school with. If I wanted to keep in touch with you, I probably did. If you treated me like crap, I don't care how much you changed, I have no desire to kiss and make up.

Am I a bad person? lol

Same here, one person who HATED me in school for no reason had a cheek to try and add me on FB, she was swiftly ignored and blocked!!!

I was invited to a reunion type meeting, but declined that too! I've got a few people on FB from school, but they are the ones that I was very close to in them days, and we still like to keep up to date with each other, just not as much now we're all busy with families and them working!

Scrapper007

10-20-2010, 07:59 PM

I think that would be called growing up. :) I had a boy from junior high try and friend me last year. He used to taunt me and he probably just wanted to see if I was still a "loser". I ignored several requests until he gave up. I did later look him up to see what he was doing and from what I read, he isn't doing so well (job and family life).