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View Full Version : Uh oh. You really CAN see who unfriended you!


Jengerbread88
09-25-2011, 09:48 PM
http://news.yahoo.com/facebook-changes-inadvertently-allow-users-see-defriended-them-192402000.html

Apparently facebook accidentally made it so you can see who unfriended you if you have the new profile.

Darcy Baldwin
09-25-2011, 09:56 PM
Yes and it's probably best not to look :) People have all sorts of reasons for unfriending, and it's too easy to make it personal, when it's not.

Jengerbread88
09-25-2011, 10:05 PM
I honestly wouldn't notice if someone unfriended me, unless it was one of my closest friends. I have about 8 people I interact with on a regular basis. Other than that, I mostly just see people in my news feed. I suppose if I stopped seeing them show up, I might notice, but the news feed travels pretty quickly these days, so I really probably wouldn't.

I don't worry about it if someone does, but my mom has a friend who EVERY DAY goes and looks at her friend count. If it changes, she goes through and searches until she finds out who unfriended her. It's almost obsessive! Lol.

I go through and weed out my friends list about every 3-6 months. I just hope that none of those people are going to get upset now if they see me gone. I tend to keep people who I am close with now, or who I may need to get ahold of for school/family/etc. I delete people who I used to have classes/school with, or who I really don't talk to much anymore.

Who I was when I got my facebook in '06, is NOT who I am now. My connections have changed ;)

nun69
09-25-2011, 10:11 PM
I probably wouldn't notice and I don't really care to look..I didn't really unfriend anybody, but I made it so I didn't see their posts anymore:p

pewtertm
09-25-2011, 10:14 PM
and it's too easy to make it personal, when it's not.

LOL except sometimes it is :D I've removed certain scrapping people (nobody here) for being...how do I put this...pushy, obnoxious, and spamming me with countless posts about joining their particular sites. If they take that personally, I can't help that :D

rachaelsscraps
09-25-2011, 10:42 PM
uh-oh, now I need to think hard if I've unfriended anyone lately! lol. Don't want to insult them (especially since I really don't think I've unfriended anyone for personal reasons if at all...)

Paula
09-25-2011, 11:09 PM
That stuff doesn't bother me. If someone unfriends me, they have a reason.

scrapperjade
09-26-2011, 01:22 AM
Gosh. Facebook is like High School all over again. Blah!

Starlight-Princess
09-26-2011, 01:37 AM
Gosh. Facebook is like High School all over again. Blah!

Amen to that x

adrianka
09-26-2011, 03:16 AM
As long as people who I blocked can't see that I did, I'm fine. Even though the unfriending thing should be kept under the lid as well. Most of the time it isn't personal, but lots of the time it is... Me blocking people sure is personal (I blocked them before they even knew I was there, as a precaution measure, and just in case - it concerns people who suck me out emotionally with drama and guilt trips).

adrianka
09-26-2011, 03:17 AM
Gosh. Facebook is like High School all over again. Blah!

That's what I thought for ages.

Starlight-Princess
09-26-2011, 03:22 AM
As long as people who I blocked can't see that I did, I'm fine. Even though the unfriending thing should be kept under the lid as well. Most of the time it isn't personal, but lots of the time it is... Me blocking people sure is personal (I blocked them before they even knew I was there, as a precaution measure, and just in case - it concerns people who suck me out emotionally with drama and guilt trips).

As far as I know you can only see who had added you as a friend and then deleted you. If you were never friends I don't think they can see anything x

adrianka
09-26-2011, 03:27 AM
As far as I know you can only see who had added you as a friend and then deleted you. If you were never friends I don't think they can see anything x

Thankful for that at least! :-) Still, I deeply dislike the high school mentality the whole "see who unfriended you" thing will cause. And yep, we should all be above things, it's just not everybody is at all times.

LenaGardner
09-26-2011, 05:51 AM
Confession: When I unfriend someone, I block them. Just as ... standard procedure. So that they can't find me and try to refriend me. When I unfriend people there is a reason and it is NOT personal. It's for sure about me and not them LOL...I just unfriended/blocked about 10 people last week, work aquaintances that I decided I didn't want knowing my business :) Sometimes I delete scrappers I don't really "know" or interact with. If I block them will they still know I unfriended them?

LenaGardner
09-26-2011, 06:06 AM
Hmmm I'm not sure if this is really true or if they have already fixed it? I just went and looked at my timeline (I don't have mine published yet). But I looked at each year at the "made new friends" box, and clicked on each year. Every single person on my list from each year still has a Friends box next to it, not an "add friend". And I am 100% certain that I've been unfriended by many people over the years, and not blocked...because if I looked for their profiles I could still find them.

I don't take offense when people unfriend me, but it can be frustrating. If I have realized that I have been unfriended it's because I sought out their profile to send them a message or something specific LOL and then we're there, not friends anymore. This happened to me this week with a friend from high school. I just let it go though :)

tonyasmith
09-26-2011, 06:14 AM
I have only unfriended a couple of people and it was for a good reason. I will not add someone I don't know. So I usually don't have that issue. This new feature doesn't bother me but I do agree it seems Facebook is a lot like high school?

Stacey42
09-26-2011, 07:55 AM
I kinda like it. I have, on average, about 165 friends. Sometimes I have 167 or 166 or 164. It goes up and down generally because some people deactivate & reactivate their accounts. But I could never figure out who was doing it. Not my high school friends, I can keep track of them in my head & see who is missing, same with the other people I see or interact with regularly. but the people I know from online, who only post occasionally, some of them could vanish & I'd not notice except the count changed. I'm glad I can see who unfriended me because I could never figure it out.

I don't care if it is personal when someone unfriends me. I probably repeatedly said something they disagree with & they didn't feel like dealing with it anymore. I don't see the point in hiding people. If I don't want to deal with them I remove them, the end. I have no problem with others doing it to me. I might be briefly sad about it & wonder what I did, but not for very long. People have issues, we all do, I don't take it personally.

adrianka
09-26-2011, 08:26 AM
I don't see the point in hiding people. If I don't want to deal with them I remove them, the end. I have no problem with others doing it to me. I might be briefly sad about it & wonder what I did, but not for very long. People have issues, we all do, I don't take it personally.

People I hide are usually ones I find nice, but who tend to get on my nerves from time to time. So I go to their profile when I feel like it. It doesn't mean I dislike them in general (I don't friend such people and should that happen, I unfriend them), it's just I can take some people in small doses only. But it doesn't mean I never want to hear from them. Dunno if that makes sense.

Angie4b1g
09-26-2011, 09:06 AM
I would have no idea if someone unfriended me, and wouldn't care if they did. I fully acknowledge that I am not for everyone. :p

maryinaz
09-26-2011, 10:45 AM
Well, I already know of some who unfriended me because they ANNOUNCE it before they do it! Very, very rude. Other than that pet peeve of mine, I don't really care if someone unfriends me unless it's someone I regularly interact with.

Emmy
09-26-2011, 11:38 AM
I'm going to post here as a general comment. I "unfriended" almost all of my online scrap friends a few months ago and it wasn't personal. I simply wasn't active in the community that much anymore (I did it the same month I quit the last of my creative teams) and I didn't see that changing anytime soon. Obviously I still lurk here at SSD a bit :), but for the most part I'm not active so it didn't seem to make sense to have 75 friends that I had never met on my fb account. I kept only actual people that I've met and a handful of scrappers that I've gotten to know personally through my past teams.

In regard to other people unfriending - if it was someone from high school I would assume they wanted to catch up but didn't need/desire an ongoing communication. I feel like that about 99% of the people I went to high school with - sure, tell me what you're doing now, but then I'm good - we don't need to chat again for 10 years. ;) I think the only time I've been bothered by someone unfriending was when it was an IRL person - but even so, it was someone I only knew peripherally and I think I annoyed her. :p

Darcy Baldwin
09-26-2011, 11:41 AM
Emmy- I've been culling my list as well...both IRL and online friends...trying to make things more manageable as to not take up my day feeling I have to keep reading what is going on with everyone. I just can't do it all. If anyone's offended, I'm sorry. But it's how I have to work it now.

adrianka
09-26-2011, 12:08 PM
I think it's normal to trim your f-list from time to time.

There were times when I accepted every request that came in (I'm wiser now) and even with ex-school mates and such, it was interesting to see what they were up to, but if I found out that I didn't have that much in common with them, I either hid them or (after some more time) unfriended them. I don't think I ever made anybody unhappy with it, because the indifference was mutual. I think some people also unfriended me, and I never gave it much thought (which is great considering that my default mood used to be touchy when I was younger).

It's just I think it's unhealthy (especially with younger users who tend to give more importance to such issues) to have the possibility to look who unfriended you - not that I tried. :-)

pewtertm
09-26-2011, 12:42 PM
One option, for those who don't want to go so far as unfriending...Facebook now has a 'Restricted' list...the people on there will only see information that you make public...nothing that is just for Friends only. And they won't be able to see that you have put them on that list either.

marlathrall
09-26-2011, 12:45 PM
Anyone know when my timeline is going to show up? I still can't see it.

pewtertm
09-26-2011, 01:01 PM
Anyone know when my timeline is going to show up? I still can't see it.

It's supposed to roll out to everybody over the next two weeks.
Marla, where in OK are you?

marlathrall
09-26-2011, 01:36 PM
It's supposed to roll out to everybody over the next two weeks.
Marla, where in OK are you?

I'm in the Panhandle... Boise City.

Leah
09-26-2011, 05:04 PM
Oh I wanna see! lol

How do I go look?

FYI - I just unfriended a bunch of people that were on my profile strictly for FV/CV, etc. Some were added through the zynga website as neighbors and since I don't play anymore, they're gone.
I did not intend to delete any fellow-scrappers, so if I did (which I don't think I did), please just let me know! :)

Jengerbread88
09-26-2011, 05:07 PM
Leah, when you get timeline, it has where you can view how many friends you added over the course of a year (just scroll down until you find it). Then, you look through the list. Anyone who has an "Add Friend" button next to their name unfriended you (or you unfriended them). Anyone who has blocked you (or anyone you blocked) will not appear. Anyone who has deleted their facebook will also not appear.

MissKim
09-26-2011, 06:44 PM
Leah, when you get timeline, it has where you can view how many friends you added over the course of a year (just scroll down until you find it). Then, you look through the list. Anyone who has an "Add Friend" button next to their name unfriended you (or you unfriended them). Anyone who has blocked you (or anyone you blocked) will not appear. Anyone who has deleted their facebook will also not appear.

Aw. Well I won't remember if I unfriended them or they unfriended me, so I'm OK with that. The only time it did kind of bother me was when someone added me as a friend (used to work with her and she was my youngest dd's primary caregiver for a bit) and then after a week or two, I noticed she unfriended me when we both replied to a mutual friend's comment. I just shrugged... and then a year later she added me again.

I cull my list all the time, and I do also just hide people. I don't have anything personal against them... I just don't like reading every time they get their period or whatever. In general, I don't care if anyone reads everything I do on Facebook. I don't put it out there unless I'd say it out loud in public. To me, it's about controlling what I see from my friends.

newfiemountiewife
09-26-2011, 08:46 PM
I would have no idea if someone unfriended me, and wouldn't care if they did. I fully acknowledge that I am not for everyone. :p

This is me. And I realize my Farmville playing annoys people, and so they unfriend me rather than block it, but whatever! I have unfriended people that get on my nerves, post too much advertising, complain 24/7, etc LOL.

Angie4b1g
09-26-2011, 09:18 PM
Removing people who complain 24/7 would cull 2/3 of my friends list. lol

emmasmommy
09-26-2011, 09:29 PM
eh. let em hate. :)

Andrea G
09-26-2011, 11:06 PM
egh, I don't care! I look at fb when I have time, when I don't it slides. Not a big deal to me, and I don't want to know! haha

Paula
09-26-2011, 11:55 PM
I've been thinking of deleting people on my friends list who I don't know IRL. But, I'm still in the thinking stage on that one. It's nothing personal, it's more to do with making my list manageable.