Looking for reassurance..

[Scrapper007]

I'm 41, a SAHM of three (school-age) girls. I am constantly tired. I try and make it to bed by 10 and I'm up in the mornings at 6 with the kids. I have no trouble falling asleep, although I do wake a few times each night. My DH gets up and ready for work at 2:30 each morning, and most mornings I am awakened by that.

So, I obviously suffer from "broken sleep". I have been doing a lot of traveling too. Our two older dds are involved in sports; we live in the middle of nowhere so must travel long distances for their games (some are 4 hours each way). We travel every weekend.

My mom is currently going through treatment for stage IV lung cancer. She was diagnosed this past May and my doctor doubled my dosage of Effexor to help me through it. My dad is in a rest home (as of May, right after my mom's diagnosis).

I guess I am sharing all of this because I am looking for an answer to my tiredness...any answer other than my breast cancer coming back (I was diagnosed stage II in Oct. of 2006). That is my biggest fear. My last check up was in April and all of my blood work, including my thyroid, came back normal. I am due to go back in (blood work) in November.

I hate to be a "half empty" kind of girl, but anytime my body "acts up", I panic that the cancer could be back. :(

[Darcy Baldwin]

Kim - you have a lot going on that could be causing you all amounts of tiredness, even without the worry of cancer coming back.

Is there any chance of 1 or 2 nights a week that DH sleeps elsewhere to help you maintain a decent night's sleep? Or maybe you sleep elsewhere?

Of if, for a little while, you cut back on the extra stuff the kids are doing just to give you guys a break?

Are you eating well? Drinking lots? Any chance of a small mid-day nap?

[Nettio]

Is your DH getting ready in the morning in your room?

My DH has a lot of early mornings too (3:30-4:30am) so he keeps all his morning stuff in a separate bathroom and moves the clothes he needs on those days out of the bedroom the night before. That way he doesn't make a lot of noise or turn on a light that would wake me up.

You might already be doing this but if not, you might try it and see if helps you sleep a bit better.

[marlathrall]

My husband is a cancer survivor. He was diagnosed with hodgkin's lymphoma in 1998 (he was 16). It came back in 2001 and he went through radiation, chemo, and a stem cell transplant. He continuously struggles with the "what if" thoughts to this day, even through he was completely cleared by his doctors and told he was "cured." I think what you are struggling with is completely normal. Everyone thinks cancer won't happen to them... When it does, you realize that it is possible and let your imagination get carried away with you.

At the same time, what you are describing seems completely normal to me. I would be exhausted if I lived your life! Actually, I need about nine hours of sleep a night to feel great. :o Could you possibly try going to sleep an hour earlier for a few days and see if it makes you feel better?

When is your next yearly check up? My husband always got so tense before them, but it was great to hear back that everything was clear.

By the way, I am praying for your mom. :hugs:

[mariewilcox]

It sounds like you have a lot of life stressors going on Kim, and they take a toll on us! Even though we think we're dealing with them okay, they have a way of being there without us realizing it. I'm sure the stress of your mom and dad are taking their toll, especially since you don't get a good night of uninterrupted sleep. Maybe getting in a 30-minute power nap during the day would help (but not too late in the afternoon!)

Your weekends sound like they aren't relaxing for you, but I know what it's like to have kids in sports - HECTIC! Maybe once in a while you can stay home from a game to give yourself some time to relax and just give yourself some time to breathe and de-stress. I know that even with just 1 child in sports now I still feel like I'm chasing my tail trying to get everything done in the week.

[Nonna2Dreja]

Kim, I know when I am stressed, I tend to be tired....I think 'cause it is easier to sleep than to want to deal with things....Big HUGS to you!

[MamaBee]

{{hugs}} My mom is a breast cancer survivor, too... and when she knows she has blood work and doctor appointments coming up, she gets really nervous and can't sleep either... totally understandable. Then add on what is going on with your mom, that isn't helping the situation... If you hubby has a day off and you get to "sleep in" do you feel better, more rested? I agree with the others if you can see about cutting back a bit and eating well, drinking lots of water, and exercising.

[julifish]

I have a lot of friends around the same age. We are all feeling the same way and we're finding out that it's an imbalance of hormones for more than one of us. So maybe you can discuss with your doctor at your next visit?

I would be willing to bet it's stressors mixed with broken sleep. You could be waking up because of hormones as well. There are some great ideas here. It never hurts to call your doctor's office and talk to the nurse. She'll know if you need to come in for a visit or if it can wait.

Hope you are feeling better soon!

[Kenzi]

Let me just say that if I was doing all that and going through what you have been/are going through I would be exhausted!! If your your girls are at school could you maybe swing a nap during the day? I know I definitely would :)
And yes as per suggestions above, ask your sweet husband to get ready in the mornings somewhere else so you can sleep.

[rach3975]

I think there are plenty of reasons for you to be tired just from the things you have going on. But in your position, I think I'd keep worrying about the cancer possibility until I went in to see my doctor and knew for sure. If you're worried, I'd say make an appointment so you can take that source of stress away.

[DawnMarch]

This was my first thought, too:

I know when I am stressed, I tend to be tired....I think 'cause it is easier to sleep than to want to deal with things.

I'm in my 40s with school age kids and I went through a time last year when I really felt tired all the time. Ironically, I have found that increasing my exercise has made me more energetic and less tired. Don't know if you exercise regularly, but it can help.

[jacinda]

Can your kids car pool to games in the weekends? You do odd weeks, another mom does even weeks, so you share the travelling? Can DH take them to games and let you stay home? Do the kids HAVE to do a sport right now? Maybe next term tell them they're taking a term off sports unless they can organise their own rides? Sounds harsh, but you have to consider all the options, and you working yourself sick is not an option.

[annieworm72]

I think there are plenty of reasons for you to be tired just from the things you have going on. But in your position, I think I'd keep worrying about the cancer possibility until I went in to see my doctor and knew for sure. If you're worried, I'd say make an appointment so you can take that source of stress away.

I totally agree! As the wife of a 12 year pancreatic cancer survivor and RN-in-training the first thing I would do is get myself to my doctor, just for the peace of mind. You've got so many things going on right now. I think it's safe to say that anyone in your position would feel the same way you do. And I think all of us moms tend to forget that if we don't take care of ourselves, we can't really take care of the ones we love. Sending lots of warm fuzzies and hoping you get some much-needed rest soon!